(A/N: SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! The German translations took me FOR-EH-VER! And they're STILL rough as HELL! Guh! Anyhoo, on with the ficcy!)
"God…my brothers're more trouble than they're worth." Akane muttered as the helicopter soared through the air.
She gazed through a pair of binoculars at the landscape below, looking for any sign of her missing friends.
And the animanga charas.
The sooner she was rid of them, the better her life would be.
"Th' shit's reeeeeeeeally hit th' fan this time Suo." Akane murmured coolly, "What could go wrong he says, it'll be fiiiine he says. Fuck you, retard."
"Lady Kakyoin, do you see that?" the pilot asked suddenly, disrupting Akane's rant.
Refocusing, Akane stared through the magnifying glass of the binoculars to see two tiny figures moving stones into the shape of a giant S.O.S. signal on the beach below.
"Well…two down." She muttered under her breath with derisive snort, "Take'er down, Ryo."
"Right away, miss." Ryo nodded, maneuvering the controls.
"Hino! LOOK!" Sora shrieked hearing the chopper blades slicing through the air.
"Zee plane! Zee plane!" Hinode cried, quoting Fantasy Island and tossing the stone she threw into the air.
"Not quite right, but close enough for all practical purposes." Sora squealed joyfully, doing a little dance.
"Its still our ticket off this rock!" Hinode shouted in agreement, "HEY! HEEEEEEEEEYYEEEE! OVER HERE!"
"…no need t' yell, gawd." A familiar voice laced with annoyance snorted from above them in a louder than normal voice.
"Aka-chan?" Sora cried in disbelief.
"Th' one an' only." The midnight-blue haired girl said derisively.
"We're saved!" Hinode cheered (anyone else would have said quite the opposite dearie)
"Yuh-yuh-yuh." Akane grunted, throwing down a rope ladder, "All aboard."
"How did you ever find us so fast?" Sora asked excitedly, gloming onto her friend once aboard.
"…you're only twenty miles from my house, dumbass." Akane said blandly, crossing her legs and folding her arms.
"…y-you're kidding right?" Hinode asked in disbelief, twitching a little.
Akane shook her head back and forth.
"Nope." She replied coolly.
"But-but the island-!" Sora sputtered.
"-was a peninsula." Akane said dryly, mouth twisting into a familiar smirk.
The Otaku Twins shrank down in their seats, mortified blushes spreading across their faces.
"Oi. Ryo!" Akane called back up to the cockpit, "Take us back up willya? We have a LOT more t' find."
"Roger miss." Ryo replied officiously.
"A lot more?" Hinode blinked.
"Whaddya mean a lot more?" Sora asked.
"…do you really think that you were th' only ones who got tossed like a bad credit card?" Akane asked shaking her head, "EVERYBODY, save fer me, was hucked t' GAWD only knows where."
"WHAT!" Hinode and Sora shrieked.
"And if I ever wanna get rid a those freaks fer good, 'm gonna hafta find'em." The lilac eyed teen groaned tetchily, "Will this shit ever end?"
"Well just don't sit there!" Hinode screeched at the pilot.
"Yeah!" Sora yelled in agreement, "Get this bucket a bolts moving!"
"And so it begins." Akane muttered, massaging her temples, "Let's just get this over with. I kinda started a tire fire so th' sooner we finish this, th' better."
"Guh-huh…huh-huh…d-damn it…why does th' desert…hafta be so…so hot?" Ed wheezed as he trudged along thru the scorching sands.
"Hey…hey kid!" a girlish voice called.
Ed chose to ignore it the first time.
"Kid!" it said again, a little impatiently.
"DON'T CALL ME KID DAMNIT!" Ed bellowed whirling around to face the speaker.
"Jeez! Sorrrrr-ee!" a well endowed, bikini clad teen snorted, "I just wanted to know if you, like, wanted something t' drink, ungrateful jerk."
She turned on her heel and proceeded to walk over a sand dune.
Ed gaped after her.
"Huh-hey WAIT!" he cried, dashing after her over the dune…
…to find to his amazement that a beach, swarming with people was just on the other side, not twenty feet away.
Snapping out of his daze, he located the girl making her way through the crowds and managed to catch up.
"Hey!" he cried, gripping her arm, "Can you tell me where I am?"
"How can you not know?" she snorted derisively, swatting his hand away, "Waikiki, DUH!"
"Where is that?" Ed asked patience quickly dissipating.
"Hawaii, god your slow." She laughed walking away.
"WHERE THE HELL IS HAWAII?" Ed thought in a panic.
"Well if it isn't little Ed Elric." A familiar voice said mildly to his right.
"DON'T CALL ME LITTLE ARMSTR-Hollee cow." Ed mumbled, taking note of the horde of scantily clad beach bunnies draping themselves all over the muscle bound man.
"Who's this, big guy?" one asked, "Friend of yours?"
"Yes, this is my comrade in arms, Edward Elric." Armstrong replied.
"Ooo! I love it when you talk like that!" another squealed.
"Brains AND brawn! MM-MM-MMM!" a third said licking her lips.
"Y-yeah." Edward said slowly, beginning to feel very nervous, "I was just wondering if I-!"
"Oh wow! Just lookat this little cutie!" a fourth girl cooed, "Are you thirsty little man?"
"I'M NOT L-!" Ed began to scream before his mind registered the offer and he took a shuddering breath, "…yess'm."
"Well if you're a friend of this beefcake, your cool with us shorty!" a fifth grinned, "Let's pump this little guy with soda and milkshakes!"
Ed bit his own tongue to keep himself from screaming in rage as he nodded frantically.
"Hey! Hey you! Miss!"
Hawkeye glanced over her shoulder at an elderly man hobbling towards her, pitchfork in hand.
"Whaddre you doin' in my cattle yards?" he growled, holding up the pitchfork threateningly.
"…I really have no idea." Hawkeye replied calmly, "When I came to, I was here."
The old man scratched his bald spot, and peered at her.
"Ehh…izzat so?" he muttered, "'spose it can't be helped then can it?"
Hawkeye shook her head.
"Well, yuh can't stay there. Yer disturbin' my cows." The old man grunted turning around.
"Can you tell me where I am sir?" Hawkeye asked, moving to follow him.
"Besides in my fields?" he replied, without turning around, "North Platte, Nebraska."
Hawkeye blinked, the only visual show of surprise.
"North Platte, Nebraska?" she thought to herself as she continued to tail the elderly man, "Where on earth is that?"
"Th-That…that was…" Roy choked out between strangled gasps.
"Est tut mir leid." The trapeze artist said soothingly, placing a cup of hot tea in his hands, "Geht es Ihnen gut?"
Roy stared at the cup in his hands and stared glassily at the woman standing over him.
"Where am I?" he asked dully.
The trapeze artist blinked down at him and smiled sheepishly.
"Est tut mir leid, Ich spreche kein Englisch!" she smiled, "Aberwenn Sie wollen zu wissen, Sie ein in Munich, Germany mein der Freund!"
Roy knew no German, but he HAD managed to pick up the word Munich from her fluid, unfamiliar tongue.
"Oh GODS!" he moaned, allowing his face to fall appropriately into his hands as the trapeze artist stared at him perplexed,"What ELSE is going to happen to me today?"
(A/N: Who will be next to be found? Where did everyone else land? R&R!)
German to English Translations (they're rough, I know! So sue me -pouts in the corner next to the shame closet-)
"Est tut mir leid." -"I'm sorry."
"Geht es Ihnen gut?" - "Are you alright?"
"Est tut mir leid, Ich spreche kein Englisch!" - "I'm sorry, I don't speak English!"
"Aberwenn Sie wollen zu wissen, Sie ein in Munich, Germany mein der Freund!"- "But in case you're wondering, you're in Munich, Germany my friend!"