"Jesus!" Bobby said, upon hearing the news that the two detectives were dead. He lay back in the bed, devastated. "Somehow, this is going to come back on me," he predicted.
Joe didn't say anything, but the way things seemed to be going Bobby was probably right. Could this case possibly go any worse?
Two days laterFinally, the day of Bobby's arraignment arrived, and he was medically released, but still under arrest in police custody. He wasn't altogether better though, far from it, but good enough to get out of the hospital. His broken ribs hurt like hell, and his wrist was so raw and the bone so bruised he could hardly touch it. But at last he was free of that damn bed.
The courtroom was packed. Somehow, the press had found out about the emails, and they were trying the case in the newspapers. A lot of people were interested in the "Lothario Killer Cop," as the scandal sheets called him. There was a lot of speculation, innuendoes, and preconceived notions and none of it very nice. Deakins and Eames were both there, mainly for support for Bobby, but also to be kept up on what was happening to him first hand.
As Bobby was brought before the judge, he saw both Alex and Deakins sitting in the courtroom. Then he turned away as the judge began to speak.
The honorable Judge Michael O'Toole intoned, "Robert Goren, you are hereby charged with the crime of murder in the first degree. How do you plead?"
"Not guilty." He still never dreamed it would go this far.
Then the prosecutor spoke up. "Your Honor, the state is asking for remand for the accused."
" Remand?" Joe demanded incredulously. "On what grounds? Your Honor, my client has been a respected member of this community for years, and has served this community risking his life daily in the dangerous job of a police detective for over—"
"Your client is also accused of premeditated murder and is implicated in the death of two other police officers. Bail is denied. The accused is remanded to Rikers, where he will be held in isolation to await trial." He banged his gavel, and that was that.
It all finally got to him, and Bobby lost it. Alex and Deakins watched in horror as he started to go for the judge, and all hell broke loose.
"You fucking son of a bitch!" He yelled at the judge. "How much fuckin' money are they paying you?" Joe tried unsuccessfully to restrain him, and then the bailiffs joined in.
Alex watched, as if in show motion, as Bobby was brought down, and held down as handcuffs were finally put on the wildly struggling Bobby. She knew the men had to be hurting him; he was already injured, and this was only making it worse. And Bobby was making everything worse.
"Bobby…please…"she whispered, and buried her head in Deakin's shoulder, as Bobby was pulled to his feet. Bobby was finally subdued, and as he was being dragged out of the courtroom and more charges were being levied against him, he caught a glimpse of Alex, with her head still buried in Deakin's shoulder.
She can't even look at me…
Bobby was led into another room, where the stark reality of his situation hit him. He was now on trial for his life. He started to panic, his heart was beating wildly. He had the sudden urge to run, to just disappear. But any thoughts he may have entertained along those lines were quickly dispelled, as along with the handcuffs, leg irons were now being applied. There was no longer any chance of escape. They had him, they had him good, and there was absolutely nothing he could do. His life was at stake. And he was scared.
Alex wanted so badly to go to Bobby, just to let him know that she cared. Of course that was out of the question. Bobby was out of reach, to her, to Deakins, to anyone except Joe. There'd be no more fraternization, no talking before or after he was brought to court. Bobby was strictly off limits. Alex had never felt so helpless in her life. And if she felt helpless, how in God's name did Bobby feel?
The next day Alex arrived at work at the usual time, but didn't stop at her desk. She went straight to Deakins' office.
He knew what she wanted before she even asked. Sitting on the corner of his desk, he sighed and said, "You want time off." It wasn't a question.
Surprised, Alex stammered, "Um, yes. I've got vacation time and--"
"You realize this is not our case?"
"Of course I know that. I won't step on anyone's toes. I'll work with Joe, in an unofficial capacity. I just…I just can't not do anything!"
Deakins nodded.
"Captain, I'm so scared…we're not just talking life imprisonment…we're talking about a needle in his arm…" He could see the sheer fright, the terror, in her eyes.
"I know that, Alex, I know that." He looked about as frustrated as her. "Take a couple of weeks. Do what you can."
"Thank you Captain."
As Alex left the captain's office, she stopped at her desk to pick up a few personal items. She couldn't help but look at Bobby's desk, and see his empty chair. She missed him already. He was always the one who comforted her, and now…well…The tears welled up again.
She hurriedly picked up her things, and turned and ran smack into Mike and Caroline.
"Alex," Caroline said, "Why don't we go and get some coffee somewhere? We can go to that new Starbucks down the street."
She was so choked up she could hardly speak, so she just nodded okay.
Once at the café, Mike ordered coffee for them all.
"Anything else? Sandwich, cookie?"
"I can't eat, Mike," Alex told him, and Caroline shook her head. "But you guys go ahead."
Logan ordered an early lunch for himself, then brought the three coffees over.
"Here you go, Alex…black and strong, with lots of sugar." Alex took it gratefully, putting both hands around it as if to warm herself even though the day was already hot; it would be in the high nineties in the city today.
Seeing their looks, she said apologetically, "I'm just so cold. And empty… I can't explain it.."
"It's okay, you don't have to," Caroline told her. "We understand. You're scared, for Bobby. And you have every right to be. Do you just want to talk about it?"
And finally, the tears, which had threatened to overflow all morning, did just that.
"It was horrible," Alex sobbed. "You should have seen him yesterday…he was so angry… it was…they had to…" She had to stop for a moment. "They dragged him down again, right to the floor, and he fought them. I know he was hurt. And he was scared…I know he was. He…didn't think I saw it, but I did!"
Mike and Caroline nodded in understanding, and Mike reached over and gave her a little hug, while Caroline put her hand on Alex's arm.
"God! What's going through his mind right now?" Alex continued miserably. "He must feel horrible…scared…like everyone's against him."
Logan shook his head. "I can't imagine it. You're right, Alex, he has to be going out of his mind. You know he's got to be thinking and worrying about those other inmates in there. Christ, it worries me just thinking about it!" His mind couldn't help but go back a few months to when he and Bobby were locked in that prison and the only thing that saved them from being beaten to death was Bobby's quick mind.
"And for something he didn't even do!" Caroline continued angrily.
Their support was helping, and Alex 's tears began to slow down.
"I've got to see him…"
"Do you think he'll let you? He wouldn't let you see him in the hospital," Caroline pointed out.
"I don't know. But he has to! He has to know we're all behind him, and…that we're going to get him out of there! I took some vacation time…to see if I can help Joe."
They both nodded again, and Logan said, "If there's anything we can do… maybe some investigating on our own…?"
"Just stay out of Homicide's way. We don't want to screw this up and jeopardize the case or Bobby in any way."
"You got it, baby," Mike told her, and Caroline said, "Are you going to be alright, Alex?"
Alex smiled through her tears. "Yeah, I guess…I just want to see him, y'know?"
Bobby's first day and night in Rikers was uneventful—there wasn't much he could do but pace and worry, and he was good at both. He felt like a caged animal, pacing back and forth, back and forth. Bobby was already a tormented soul, and had always had too much restless energy. Being cooped up in a small cell like this was already driving him crazy. He continued to pace, long after the lights went out, long into the night. He was almost afraid to sit or lie down on his cot, too afraid to think, to let his guard down. He knew what was on the other side of this prison. There were inmates in this place who'd give their right arms for a crack at him, and he knew it.
Unfortunately for him, the guards weren't much better. Any one of them would give him up in a nano second, given the right incentive. So Bobby, already hyper-vigilant, would have to become even more so. Even though he was in isolation, "protected" from the other inmates, Bobby knew that there were any number of ways they could get to him, if they were so inclined. And gradually, day in and day out, the lack of sleeping, the constant pacing, and the extreme hyper-vigilance would wear him down. And that's when he'd really have to be careful, when he'd be most vulnerable. It'd be a hell of a lot worse than any beating, although that might be a part of it, it could come in any form. And this time it would mean his life.
tbc