Sweet talk might not be enough to get the two Secret Service agents out of hot water this time as they walked out of their shared stable with Sassy and the horses safely bedded down on early Christmas Eve to find their families already coming up the path that they were about to wander down. Tem and Amanda, not worn out enough by their day in the Big City, bounded up to them shrieking in excitement. But the children's intention of telling their fathers about all their exciting Christmas activities that day was replaced immediately by their curiosity at a new spectacle.

"Daddy, you're glowing!" Amanda gasped, while Tem made a similar exclamation to Jim.

Yes – glowing and green and filthy too. Lily and Adele had raced up the hill right behind the children, and with fear, concern and consternation written all over their faces, reaching out at first to make sure of what they were seeing. Up close, the fact that the two men were covered in one of Artemus' chemical concoctions became obvious, as did Lily's this-had-better-be-good frown.

"It's a, uh, long story," Artemus stammered to the children. "We were . . . helping Santa with some, ah, very, very naughty people and we must have gotten some . . . North Pole magic splashed on us." He tried to give the kids and Lily his very best puppy-eyed, innocent expression, while Jim did the same with Adele. Little Amanda's skeptical regard almost matched her mother's. She was too bright to be kept fooled by the whole Santa Claus thing for very much longer. They grow up so fast. Too fast . . . . he thought.

Tem was clearly buying this explanation though, and so no one was about to contradict it where the children could hear, though Lily pulled her husband aside to whisper in his ear as they walked back to their respective houses to get ready for the early evening church service.

"North Pole magic, huh?"

Oh, Artemus was going to have some explaining to do later if he didn't want to find coal in his stocking tomorrow morning! And he'd seen enough of the inside of a coal mine today to last him the rest of his life . . . .

The minister's Christmas Eve sermon, possibly composed in light of the town's misadventure that day, was on the importance of setting aside materialism and being thankful for the love, mercy and charity one may benefit from and show to one's neighbors. Several of the congregation were absent from church, as Sheriff Kurtz needed more than a few helping hands with keeping watch and managing his very full jail that night. But Deputy Wilson was present, given the time to attend with his parents in light of his valiant service that day. Two of the three wounded auctioneers were there too, still with bandages on their heads and a motley collection of bruises, but singing Christmas hymns with the best of them. And so effusive were the auctioneers, their families and several other churchgoers in their thanks to the two agents and the young deputy after the service that Artemus had hopes of escaping a scolding and a sock full of coal yet.

The only thing that earned the agents a few askance looks, and from more than just their wives, became apparent after they all left the well-lit church for the darkness outside. Though Deputy Frank Wilson lived right in the center of town and had apparently had time to scrub himself very clean, Jim and Arte's urgent donkey-stowing mission hadn't left them time to get in literal hot water before they were due at church with their families. They'd barely had time to do more than change into new outfits and give themselves a quick bit of washcloth and comb action, and all the bits of 'North Pole magic' they'd missed were once again glowing as if they'd come down with a touch of fluorescent green measles. Yes, this was going to be a night to remember all right . . . .

A hot bath, a Christmas Eve supper, an early bedtime for children who wanted to remain on Santa's good side, and a private, honest and almost complete account of the day's events were enough to earn Artemus Lily's forgiveness. Having a conveniently positioned sprig of mistletoe helped too. The married pair of Santas put out their gifts for the children and each other that night – Christmas morning being an affair that demanded a two-house commute for both the Wests and the Gordons. Artemus and Lily split the cookies and milk Amanda had left out and after a thoroughly exhausting day and evening fell so deeply asleep that a sleigh and a herd of reindeer on the roof wouldn't have been enough to awaken them.

The next day dawned far too early, with Amanda being capable of making even more ruckus than reindeer from the moment she spotted the sun coming up. Lily was in such a charitable mood she even insisted on letting Artemus sleep in while she made breakfast and kept their rambunctious Visigoth daughter preoccupied in the kitchen for at least twenty-five minutes. Marriages are made of such loving sacrifice, Artemus thought, now confirmed more than ever that he was the luckiest man on earth.

A short time later, when brightly colored paper was strewn everywhere, stockings plundered, boxes opened and candy canes mercilessly harvested from the trees in both the West and Gordon houses, it was time for the adults to take Tem and Amanda out to the corral next to the barn for the Big Reveal. Artemus wasn't sure how an animal with such large ears endured enthusiastic child squeals better than he could, but Sassy seemed as eager to greet the children as they were to see him, nuzzling them both and chuffing a donkey welcome. The little creature had shown no signs of trauma from its kidnapping ordeal the previous night and now it was back on more familiar turf – being the center of attention and affection of young people. Tem and Amanda, in spite of having consumed enough sugar in the past twenty-four hours to make an adult vibrate, listened attentively and were eager to help as their fathers showed them how Sassy needed to be cared for. Old farmer Nusker arrived that afternoon in time to see the children taking turns curry-combing the burro. He was tired but as content as Artemus had ever seen him look after coping with several very season-appropriate births in his stable and not a lost or sickly rabbit kit in the lot. Artemus was slightly concerned about how the children might react to the sight of this experience-scarred giant of a man and the maimed dog at his side, but Tem and Amanda, in the way of children, saw the good in both quicker than their parents had as Nusker and Gideon were given a heroes' welcome. Shy Gideon even dared to let the children pet him gently without running or shying away, with his friend Sassy acting as a character witness.

Of all the Christmas dinners Artemus Gordon could look back on and remember, he thought the one he had that day was the best. The food was excellent and shockingly, so was the company. Mr. Nusker, whose first name turned out to be Eamon, was capable of telling some fascinating stories and even smiling occasionally when he wanted to. It was a shame that so few people besides his friend Chester had ever given him the chance. But by the time the elderly farmer and his dog left for home that evening, he was a firm favorite with the two children. Artemus could look forward to future visits from this man he'd regarded only as a monster less than forty-eight hours earlier. More than just the children had a lot to learn from their new friend.

As he looked out through a frosty bedroom window that Christmas night, Artemus Gordon's mind was a whirl with everything that had happened in such a short time. Nothing about this 'perfect' holiday had gone quite exactly as he'd originally envisioned it, certainly not on the day before Christmas anyway. He still had some aches and pains from being clobbered by a weighted net, strung up like a prize turkey to be burned to death by vicious criminals, and forced to descend into a dangerous, enemy-filled coal mine shaft, and yet he felt all the happier for having survived it. Happier to know that Jim had survived it too, and that everything had worked out in the end. Survived and come through it all with the help of a stranger who was now a friend. One more miracle that made Artemus feel as light inside as a fluffy little cloud of popcorn.

People spend so much time striving for perfection at this time of year, he considered, or at least their vision of what it should be. So much worry about things like tinsel and ornaments and purchases, buying the right gift, making sure the food and decoration and all that goes with them turns out just so. What an odd way to commemorate the birth of a child in a stable in an overcrowded city during a mass tax assessment.

"A penny for your thoughts," Lily said, coming to stand beside him and put her arm around him. He returned the hug and they stared out at the clear night sky and the stars for several seconds in silence. How could one put a night like tonight into words that would ever do it justice?

"I was thinking, Mrs. Gordon," he said at last, "that I must be the luckiest man on earth."

"We're a matched pair then," she whispered back, "because I think I'm the luckiest woman on earth."

And nothing more needed to be said after that, though as they turned from the window to embrace on this chilly but most wonderful of all winter days, the final line of a poem danced across his mind –

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!