Th-thump th-thump th-thump

Sighing and snuggling closer, Max concentrated on the steady heartbeat beneath her ear, the warmth surrounding her and the safety she felt in the circle of strong arms holding her. She lay there for a few more minutes and tried desperately to hang onto the last vestiges of sleep, but she knew it would elude her. Looking at her watch, she noted that it was still early, not yet 4am. 'Freakin' shark DNA' she mentally growled. Sighing in resignation Max carefully extricated her body from Alec's arms and settled herself down on her side beside him. She'd been sleeping a lot on her rest days, waking up with Alec in the morning, but today it just wasn't meant to be she guessed. Propping her head up on one arm, she studied his face and let her mind wander.

'God, things have changed so much. Not just the dynamics of my relationship with Alec, that's obvious enough. I'VE changed so much. I like who I am now. I used to hate being a transgenic, curse myself for not being ordinary. Now I don't and I think its all thanks to this guy, my pain in the ass' she thought affectionately. Reaching up she smoothed a stray lock off his forehead and watched a small frown cross his features only to go as she stroked it away. 'If only OC could see me now, wonder what she'd say bout me sharing a bed with the resident 'hotboy'? She'd probably say its bout time and congratulate me' she grinned to herself. 'Course, I'd immediately correct her and tell her how we're not like that' she let herself imagine being able to have this conversation with OC. It saddened her that she didn't have the opportunity to anymore, for her own safety she'd told OC that she couldn't keep in touch; she wouldn't risk White finding out about her.

But one of her late night conversations with Alec had helped her deal. So she allowed herself these imagined chitchats to cope. 'Hmm, actually, I don't really know what we are. I mean he doesn't fit into any one role anymore. He's was my friend but he's more than just that. 'Family then?' make-believe OC offered 'Well kinda, but I don't see him as a brother or anything and I don't think he thinks he's my brother either – he makes too many jokes about sexual propositions that no brother would ever make - unless he was from Kentucky or something' she joked 'and he's seen me half naked when I've been too asleep to undress myself for bed – never heard of no brother ever doing that. I know I'd never let them' she shuddered 'oh but you'll let him' her friend pointed out to her before she faded away.

Max sighed as her mind wouldn't let her conjure up her friend anymore. She would have felt all alone were it not for his warm presence. Hmm, would she have been able to cope if he hadn't have stuck around with her? She highly doubted. 'I'm so used to having him with me now.'

It had all changed since that night she'd witnessed his nightmare. She'd seen him in the most bare, defenceless state. She'd felt the strongest urge to protect him and she had hugged his body to hers without any second thoughts. That need to comfort him had burned fiercely within her as she watched him writhe and whimper in pain. She'd heard his broken pleas and cries and had understood what was torturing his mind. It was in those moments that she realised that the selfish, insensitive, womanising, 'always alright' guy she thought she knew was so much more complicated and sensitive than he'd ever let anyone know. His mask had cracked and what she saw surprised her, made her want to get to know who this guy underneath was.

When he'd opened up to her, it had been a massive gesture of how much he trusted her now and somehow, that trust was what had made her want to return the motion. It wasn't just that though; it was the fact that he was a lot like her. He felt remorse for what he'd done in the past, what he'd been ordered to do and what he had to do to survive. He had experienced pain and loss and he too, had been hurt by Manticore over and over again

She wanted him to see her for who she really was too. She wanted to show him how much they related to one another. So she'd allowed him in, to see what lurked under her own 'tough bitch' cover and awaited his judgement. She knew that if he wanted to, he could have blasted her for being oh so self-righteous when really she was nothing but a walking contradiction, a complete hypocrite – but he hadn't. He'd understood. He'd said that he regularly fought with the same demons she did and that just as her judgment on him had made him hide himself from her, she had done the same back to him. 'He was right too. Being around ordinaries, I've lived in fear of their accusations, and to protect myself, I lived by their rules' she reflected. Then he had shown up, seeming to live and breathe everything Manticore, and she simply hadn't realised that she shouldn't have judged him from an ordinaries perspective.

Looking back at him, Max let her eyes travel over his face. This Alec that she knew now was not the Alec she thought he was back in Seattle. Now, forced to live side by side, day in, day out, she'd been given the opportunity to discover the real deal. And she had, and finally they had been given the chance to build a relationship on an equal footing, and she had never appreciated anything more. She'd also rediscovered what it really meant to be transgenic, to be proud of it.

She felt his arm move in search for her. She had recently realised that he had grown accustomed to doing that. Even on the nights she'd keep watch. He'd reach out for her hand and clasping it in his; he'd hold it to his chest. Smiling at that thought, she met his questing hand and watched him as he unconsciously position it, before she lay back down on her side.