Disclaimer: I do not own fma. Or a brain. But I would like both!
Rating: T for… well, look at the title. Nothing descriptive. Grapefruit at the most. And a little swearing.
title: The Resolving Bed
"I am Envy! Bring on the ninnies!"
"I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and stare at it for hours."
"Would you like fries with that?"
Envy
Riza on PMS
Karmacalogical
"I AM ENVY! BRING ON THE NINNIES!"
And with that phrase I knew Envy was pissed. Last time he was like this it was worse than Riza on PMS, and as anyone could tell you, that is not a good thing (the bullets! The bullets! –shudders-). Why does my boyfriend always have to be so violent? Couldn't he just sit back and enjoy himself rather than going off and murdering everyone within a hundred-foot radius whenever anyone gives us odd looks?
I sigh and sit back in my seat and sip my hot, fragrant coffee while my violence-obsessed palm-tree goes about killing everyone in sight. I've long since grown used to this. The rest of the night is bound to be ruined unless… well, it's wouldn't be the first time I've resorted to that. Not that I particularly mind. The only drawback is having to leave. This is amusing, however, so I think I'll wait a little longer.
"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! ALL I ASKED WAS 'WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT?'!!! OW!"
That was the last thing that unfortunate employee ever said as he was whacked over the head with what looked like a vase of flowers.
"Karmacalogical…" I stated before giving in and walking up to my Envy. "I know this is part of your job description - violence, killing, and general mayhem. And I like work. It fascinates me! I sit and stare at it for hours. But I think that's enough for now. We'll want to get out of here before the cops come."
He looked at me with that oh-so-pouty face he always makes about now.
"But why do we have to leave?" he asks as he wraps his slender arms around my neck. He wasn't making this any easier. "They can't hurt us, we'll always regenerate. Please?"
He moved his arms down to my waist and picked up his leg. Why did he have to be so damn sexy?
"Fine. Ten more minutes of destruction, and then we go home. To my house. There's less… distractions there, but plenty for you to do with me."
"Yay! I love you, Greed!" he shouted happily as he launched himself into the fight with all the excitement of a small child at Christmas. It never fails to amaze me how he can move with such grace amidst that chaos. And his smile never once left his face. Well, except for when he got a bloodstain in his hair, but I can't say I blame him for that. Bloodstains are bitches to remove.
His happiness was a good thing. It means less supposed-to-be-fatal wounds for me. And at the moment, despite how happy my green-haired lover looks, it is still quite obvious he is annoyed with me, since I had… limited… his favorite game, but there were ways around that. There was a reason, after all, that my bed was called the resolving bed…
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