Hehe, okay, so, funny story…

…

All right, I have no excuse, unless you want to hear about my mad procrastination skillz and all the Classes from Hell I have this year. And I'd rather not bother you with that.

If it's any consolation, you are rewarded in that this chapter is a full PAGE longer than the others.

Oooooooooooooh.

And now, before I take the cheesiness too far, I have an announcement. The review…responsey…things…have been moved to the END of the chapter. I figured it was cruel enough that I made you wait this long; I wanted to spare you all that scrolling.

I have the typical 'tortured artist' syndrome…ergo, I hope you're all of the opinion that this chapter is a lot better than I think it is. Happy reading!

Disclaimer: Okay, this is getting redundant. I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender. I never will. Inside, this makes me a little bit sad, but at least I'm not the one saddled with all the responsibility…

Of Fairy Tales and Therapeutic Violence

"It was in his sleeve the whole time?" Toph giggled, nearly stuffing a fist in her mouth to muffle the sound from any prying ears. "Oh wow, that must have gotten you pretty ticked off."

"You have no idea," Zuko replied, no longer sounding nearly as annoyed as he should have. "I threw the stupid thing off the cliff."

"Aw, that's a shame," the earthbender commented benignly, calming herself down for appearance's sake. Mock sympathy wasn't nearly as effective when it was delivered by someone snickering like an idiot. "A Pai Sho player without a complete set is one sad, sad little Pai Sho player. Trust me," she added, rolling her eyes in memory, 'I know. My earthbending teacher was a real addict to the game for a while. I stole some of his pieces once and he went into serious withdrawal for over a week, so my dad ended up putting him off the stuff for good."

"The only thing my uncle would never part with is his tea." The teen sighed exasperatedly. "What did your teacher do to deserve it?" he inquired after a short swear and the clink of chains—she assumed yet another one of the boy's 'substitute lock-picks' (read: conveniently sized wood splinters he'd found heaven-knows-where within his cell) had broken before completing its appointed task during his brief pause.

Toph snorted derisively. "Oh, don't get me wrong, he was a good teacher. Then again, it's pretty hard to screw up when all you teach your student is the same techniques and the same breathing exercises over and over and over…" She flashed a diabolical smirk in his general direction. "And who's going to blame the blind girl? It was pretty simple—wander over to the Pai Sho table when the room's empty, pick up tile, insert in oversized sleeve, and wait until guards come and tell them I got lost. Repeat until desired results occur."

The pair had long ago lost track of how long they'd been talking; the only lapses in conversation were those rare moments when they were forced to fall silent at the intrusion of the occasional guard. Thus far, none of the men had stayed long, though one had left them food (rancid, lumpy, and unidentifiable goop that neither Zuko nor Toph had done much more than picked at). While this fortunately signified that the infamous Azula had yet to arrive at the scene, the few attempts at escape the two had formulated between topics proved fruitless and futile.

The talks themselves, on the other hand, were far from dull. Though Toph avoided explicitly mentioning the Avatar in the presence of a firebender, and Zuko himself was obviously editing events within his own tales, the earthbender was surprised to find herself enjoying the discussions. The teenager was caustic and wry more often than not—a welcome change from Katara's irritatingly sweet demeanor and Aang's happy-go-lucky attitude—without becoming whiny, as Sokka would.

That was not to say, of course, that he didn't complain. He did. He simply didn't whine.

It seemed that her fellow prisoner preferred ranting.

Well, it wasn't as though Toph couldn't relate to that. Her own life contained many events she was more than willing to rant about herself, and frankly the venting (along with the occasional jibes at Zuko for anything from melodrama to carelessness) was most likely the only thing keeping her sane.

…Oh, it wasn't as though they were prepared to link arms and skip merrily through a field of flowers or any such nonsense. Quite the contrary, in fact—Zuko was still forced to deal with a passionate tirade from his earthbending cellmate whenever he let slip a 'prejudiced' comment in regards to the girl's blindness, and Toph was fairly certain he'd singed her eyebrows off following her last smart remark. Still, she was grateful that the individual she'd been stuck with for the past few hours was at least someone she could relate to.

"What do you mean, you don't like sports!"

…For the most part, anyway.

"I don't have time for sports. I have enough to worry about—Azula and the Fire Nation, my uncle, Earth Kingdom soldiers, the A--" he wavered a little here, and Toph sensed the imminent arrival of an Edited Moment approaching, "…other things…"

Yep. Edited Moment. Right there.

She rolled her eyes and let it go. Previous experience had taught her that prying would only make the teen clam up for a minimum of five minutes. It just wasn't worth it.

"How can you not like sports? What kind of guy doesn't like fighting?"

"Fighting isn't a sport!" Zuko protested vehemently. "Fighting is a necessity and an honorable means of settling an argument."

"Ha! Who're you tryin' to fool?" She blew a few errant strands of hair out of her face before continuing. "Look, I don't know what comes to mind when you think of fighting, but every game I've ever played has had some kind of physical contact. Fighting is…fun."

"Ever heard of Agni Kai?" the firebender countered. His voice was oddly flat.

Toph winced. She had, and none of the descriptions were particularly pleasant. "…Oh. Well, yeah, I guess that would be pretty…intense." She regained her bearings. "Then again, have you ever heard of the Earth Rumble?"

"…I've heard of it," he replied wryly, in a tone suggesting that whatever he'd heard hadn't struck him as particularly impressive. "Are you a fan?"

"A fan? Nah." She took a brief moment to pause for dramatic effect, then flashed him an evil grin. "I'm a participant."

Zuko was silent for a moment, and Toph could only hope that the reason involved him becoming struck dumb with incredulity.

"What, don't you know about the Blind Bandit? You know, the current champion?" She waved a hand in front of her sightless eyes, still grinning maniacally. "Hello, the Blind Bandit? I don't know if you noticed, but…"

"So you're a prodigy then." She noticed his inflection return to the dull, resentful tone he'd had when he'd mentioned Agni Kai. Not good. All the times prior to their current discussion he'd used that tone when mentioning his sister.

She gave the comment (though he'd made it sound more like an accusation than anything else) some thought before replying.

"I guess. I mean, I know I'm good at earthbending, but I kind of, y'know, need it to see. You can't blame me for just wanting to know what's in front of me." She frowned pensively. "I guess…part of it's just me wanting to get back at my parents. If they'd had it their way, I never would have gotten passed the basics. They were always too protective of me—I never had any friends, I never went out, they never invited any guests around my age to play with me because they were too worried about me getting injured. Somehow, they thought it was better that I was miserable. So, one day I got fed up…and started sneaking out of the house."

Toph shifted into a more comfortable position before continuing, a small smile gracing her face as she drifted back into her memories. "I didn't really mean to go to the Earth Rumble match, but I wanted a place where the guards wouldn't find me…and I kind of wanted to find out what the more advanced earthbending techniques were like.

Well…they weren't much. I volunteered to face the champion in that little hokey match they hold at the end of the tournament."

She laughed lightly and pantomimed flicking a little invisible man into the air. "POW! Out of the ring in thirty seconds flat. I think I gave some guy a heart attack. I'm pretty sure that was when I figured out that I could see their attacks as they were making them. It gave me an advantage. They were all too busy looking with their eyes to feel the vibrations beneath their feet. Well, I signed up for the next tournament under an alias, and I've been winning ever since." The girl flashed her cellmate another grin. "Maybe it's not good for much, but hey, it's an excuse to beat up on a bunch of underdressed musclemen who refer to themselves in the third person, and nock 'em down a peg or two. What's wrong with that?"

"Well when you put it that way…" Another sliver of wood snapped, and Zuko gave a small growl of frustration. At least that signified some progress—the annoyance wasn't directed at her, after all. "You had no problem defying your parents like that?"

Toph's left eye twitched. Again with the parental questions—the teen obviously had some issues with his parents, or else he wouldn't be so hung up over the topic.

"Why should I? I love them and all, but if I'd stayed there any longer, I would have gone insane. My dad says he loves me, but he doesn't understand me at all." She narrowed sightless orbs. "He thinks I'm weak. He…almost said it once. He called me blind, and helpless, and fragile, but I knew what he meant. So I proved him otherwise. He saw me beat all of the other combatants at the same time and what did he do? He arranged for more security! He doesn't care whether I can defend myself or not, he just wants me under his thumb, like—like some pet or something! So I left." She tilted her head to the side and fixed an aimless gaze in the general direction of Zuko's voice. "Okay, you heard my part. What's your deal with your parents?"

The firebender was silent for a long moment, and Toph worried that she'd once again overstepped her boundaries and induced another paranoid fit of secrecy.

…Not that she could really talk about secrecy, being a companion of the Avatar and all.

"My mother disappeared when I was pretty young," he replied finally, the words coming slowly and reluctantly, as though he felt obligated to remember something he'd rather not. "And my father…he… I guess you could say had a…disagreement, and he…banished…me. I haven't seen him or my home in three years."

His words reminded him oddly of something she'd heard as a child.

"Exiled prince," the blind girl muttered softly to herself.

"What?" Zuko's response was far too sharp and suspicion-laced to be an average reaction to an erstwhile comment like hers. She mentally filed this away for later questions.

"Sorry. Just thinking aloud…my parents used to tell me bedtime stories when I was younger—fairy tales, mostly. They were pretty horrible—all of them were these perky, happy stories about handsome men and beautiful women who were so strong and smart and noble. The bad guy always died in the end, and the wonderful couple always lived happily ever after. I kinda started supporting the villain after a while…anyway, one of those common stories was the one about the misunderstood and valiant prince who gets banished from his country by his evil uncle or father or some other relative and goes on a quest to 'regain his honor' or whatever. And by the end, he's rescued the lovely captive princess from the evil wizard—who's in cahoots with his evil relative, of course—and regained the throne he rightfully deserves, before marrying the princess and, yeah, living happily ever after. Your whole parental issue just brought that to mind, I guess. Weird, huh?"

A pause. "…That was possibly the stupidest story I've ever heard," he told her dryly. "Don't ever make that kind of comparison again. …Ever."

"Yeah, I'm guessing you're too scrawny to be the prince anyway," she shot back snidely.

"Whereas stunted, annoying princesses are so common in those stories."

"I'm not stunted, I'm twelve!" Toph protested. "And I wasn't comparing myself to anyone. I don't plan on ending up like one of those helpless floozies who can do amazing magical spells and are oh so intelligent, but can't even free themselves from the clutches of some evil moron. I can save myself."

There was a moment of silence as both of them processed that last sentence.

"You're in a prison ce--"

"SHUT UP!"

REVIEW TIME! (GASP, it's in chronological order!)

Sifu Toph: I love your reviews. I really do. They're not only well written, but so simultaneously flattering and depressing that I'm not sure whether to smile or cry. I apologize for taking so long, but I appreciate your patience and I'm extremely, incredibly glad that you still think I'm keeping them in character. As for Azula…well, I'm still not quite sure precisely how much dialogue there will be in regards to their confrontation—I'm intending it to be something of an action scene to follow all the semi-introspective dialogue. Still, they'll probably end up exchanging a few words. I doubt that they'll be kind words, but they shall be words nonetheless.

sugarland31: Heh, don't worry, I didn't mean 'abuse' in a negative way—I like critical advice, it means I can improve. …Or some such nonsense. Azula, being Azula, will enter with a bang—and leave covered in mud, ala The Drill if Toph has anything to say about it. As for Iroh…I'm still not sure whether or not this story takes place before or after he and Toph had their little chat, but I started it before that episode aired, so chances are they haven't met yet.

Hotspur: As I write this, you have twice as many chapters out as I do. …This depresses me. But, that has nothing to do with…well…anything. Again, I'm so glad you think Toph and Zuko are in character, and I'm flattered that you took special note of their reactions to each other in their conversation, especially in regards to Toph's blindness. I feel a bit guilty every time I read your reviews—you're so punctual, and if there's one thing I'm worse at than updating, it's reviewing. Oh, I read. Do I ever read. And I enjoy. A lot. I just always seem to overlook that little button there at the bottom, and I'm really, really grateful that you don't do the same. Sorry, and thank you so much!

Ethiopia P.M. Noctra: Hmm, has Zuko ever really been to Ba Sing Se before the recent episodes? I do try to update often…I don't know what happens in the transition… And I am writing an original story, but I don't see it getting published…it would be nice if it did, though. I'm flattered that you think I'm capable of it. Thanks!

DancingPickle101: I'm glad you think so. Thank you!

storm-of-insanity: Thanks. I go a little crazy about the whole in character thing, so I feel so relieved to find that I really am writing them right.

Petitio Principii: Heh, I shall convert you to this pairing, just watch… I do so enjoy converting people. Thank goodness the blindness scene seemed natural… Hmm, will Zuko mention his scar? I really don't know yet. Go figure.

karrafear: Another one I shall convert! It's high praise to get such an enthusiastic response from a non-pairing fan. …And the laughter. Laughter is always a good thing.

polka-dotted-pengiuns: Yay in character! May you have enjoyed this chapter as much as you did the previous three!

XxHunter The One and OnlyxX: Nothing wrong with demanding…it means you liked it, right?

Cyber Rellik: The "gang" will probably turn up for a little while at the end, along with Iroh. As for actual romance…well, there will be a few moments that I suppose you could call 'touching' (emotionally, anyway), but they really need to get to know one another a little better first…

Denisen: If only I could update sooner… Thanks for the cheers!

foreverlost101: Many thanks for the two-and-a-half cheers! Again, I'm happy you think they're in character, and yeah, sap really wouldn't be my thing even if I had attempted it… Mary Sues make me die a little inside, so I try to avoid original characters, except in the case of plot development (such as the random soldiers from chapter one!) or maybe children in a future fic…

demshia: Wow, first you motivate, and now you read the chapter at two in the morning? You…are so dedicated. And that just floors me. Thank you ever so much.

Zoebabii328: Sorry, it's not soon, but I did update… And I'm shocked how many people said that about my story. Thanks a million!

DarkerSpirit: Thank you, and oh, I hope you're as patient as you are enthusiastic.

Tortured Artist: Again, you compliment down to the wording…wow. I do try to create my own writing style, but I've never thought of it as poetic before…thank you! And thanks for the advice about the dialogue—I try to add in gestures and whatnot here and there, but there should be a little more actual action at the end of the next chapter. …I hope it doesn't start dragging before then…

Jesus.Lives: Oooh, you're one of those people that reviews every chapter. Boy am I ever grateful for that. Hmm, it really was a little abrupt…but hopefully things will sail a bit more smoothly now that they're in an actual conversation…

The O.W.M.I.N.: A script writer? A SCRIPT WRITER! Uh…wow. I wish I were…and that's probably one of the biggest compliments I could get. But alas, like you, I am only a scarily dedicated fan with a few wacky ideas.

CyanIllusions: YES! May our fandom continue to grow! I have updated…late though it may be.

itachi'smaniac: Does it ever! And I do love your Itachi smiley face.

Earthbender 2006: Yay for the A! Alas, it isn't that I forget a story, so much as I don't have the time/inspiration to update it. And I'm glad you interpret Toph's attitude towards her blindness the same way I do.

StarlightDemonFiresong: Yes! I have converted yet another…I think! I've always thought they could have pretty interesting conversations if they ever actually MET…

Nocturnalwitch: Aaaah, I hope I haven't killed you! Thank you for the compliments!

apple.elixer: To think I briefly worried about that line…Microsoft Word says that 'immatureness' IS a word! Go figure. And may we contamin—spread voluntarily the love as far as it may reach in the Avatar fandom!

And now, as one last, final hurrah…THANK YOU ALL SO VERY, VERY MUCH!

Reviews are my lifesblood. Oh yes they are. And please reassure me that the fairy tale part didn't turn out too contrived…