Nikita's back in Section.
I've never been more relieved.
But she's not as happy as I am.
She's having dreams. She wants me to admit my 'feelings'. Can't she see I'm a cold blooded killer? I have no feelings. I need her to believe that. If she doesn't, soon I won't either. And then it won't be true.
I need it to be true.
She wants to know why I brought her back.
I told her to be patient.
How can I tell her that I brought her back for purely selfish reasons? That it wasn't because of her at all.
I brought her back for me.
Because I can't stand to live without her.
Because shiny guns were never so appealing while she was missing.
I'm a married man. I can't do this to Nikita. It'll break her.
But I can't stop. It's a slippery slope that I can't get out of. It started, now it won't stop.
She wants to pursue this relationship. From material and mentor. From friends. She wants to keep furthering it.
But I can't. I can't go any further. I've been brought to the brink. If I allow one more step, I'll be too far gone.
I'm married to Elena. One more step, and I won't be.
And then I'll be dead.
I can feel her pent up frustration she has from me. She hates my silence.
But I can't tell her why I brought her back. I can't tell her I'm in love with her.
I've done enough damage already.
OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooO