Into the World of Perputual Solitude

A.N.: Don't worry. All the story threads will come together at some point, you just have to wait for it. We got this chapter out faster than expected and we would like to thank Kageno Tenshi for typing most of it up. Go her! Title is from a line in Eliot's "Four Quartets: Burnt Norton." (Ko-chan is on a poetry kick lately).

Disclaimer: Same stuff from before applies here.

Riley was really worried.

It had taken them a while to get back to the school. A good hour, in fact. The sun was already beginning to set. Hagrid had met them at the gate, tsking at their lateness. Didn't they know it was dangerous out there at night?

That had gotten a derisive laugh out of Riley. Dangerous? They were the Tenshi! She had turned to share the inside joke with Nicole, only to see her walking forward towards the castle, her eyes blank, her step weak.

She had been like that the whole way back. Riley had tried to talk with her; in her experience, her sister did much better after a bit of yelling. But, all her questions had been answered with single syllables and non-verbals, getting the conversation absolutely nowhere.

'When I get my hands on that boy…'

She stopped her train of thought right there. Nicole hated it when she took revenge for her. She had always said she'd rather fix things on her own.

'But, it doesn't really look like that's going to happen, here, does it?'

Riley watched her sister trudge up the steps and pull weakly at the door. Nicole had been through a lot in her short life, she knew that. But, she always seemed to be able to overcome all the emotional turmoil. At least, she made an obvious effort at trying to pretend she was ok.

She wasn't hiding any of her pain.

'I should be celebrating. I hate it when she pretends she's not hurt.'

But, this wasn't what she wanted. Not by a long shot. And, if she couldn't get revenge on Ron for doing this to her, she really didn't know what she was going to do.

Nicole stopped walking and Riley stopped next to her. They had made it to the dining hall. Dinner was in full swing, the entrees already half eaten. They must've taken a lot longer than she had originally thought.

Her hand was suddenly held in a tight grip, her mind flooded with an onslaught of 'No.No.No.'

She turned to her sister, worried at the sudden panic. Nicole was on the verge of hyperventilation. "What's wrong?" she whispered, bending to try and make her look her in the eye.

She did, and Riley was taken back by the fear in her usually smiling eyes.

"Robin's not here."

"What?" Riley looked away, reluctantly, and scanned the end of the room where the Slytherins were seated. Then she scanned Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff and Gryffendor… Hell, she even looked at the teachers' table and behind the candelabras. "Shit," she muttered, squeezing her sister's hand. "Where the Hell is she?"

"Nicole! Riley!"

Suddenly, a very bubbly, very sugar-high Ginny Weasly was pulling them towards the Gryffendor table. Riley could hear Nicole's thought becoming less coherent, her breathing becoming less stable.

"I had the most amazing time in Hogsmead," Ginny continued, pulling them towards the end of the table. "I took your advice and went early. Spent the whole day alone with Neville."

Nicole suddenly calmed. Riley looked forward to where Ginny was leading them to see a very empty end of the table, the furthest end closest to the teachers. The only other person there was a very red Neville. She looked up and down the table. Harry and Ron were nowhere to be seen.

She sighed, affording a smile and quick laugh at Ginny's story and Neville's obvious discomfort.

'I hope he's up in his room sulking, the bastard. Let him go hungry.'

She sat next to Nicole, her hand resting atop her sister's. She sighed, again, when she got a quick squeeze in reply and smiled as Nicole picked up her fork and began eating and laughing as Ginny made fun of her date, however lightly and obviously forced the laughter and smile seemed. No one else would notice the fakeness.

'Our problems are our own. We don't need anyone else. My sister and I can take care of ourselves.'

She squeezed Nicole's hand one last time then joined whole-heartedly into the food merry-making.

"So, where were you two, anyways?" Ginny asked, a spoonful of potato halted in mid-flight.

"Yeah," Neville echoed, his butterbeer forgotten in his hands. "We looked for you two at lunch. Saved a seat for everyone at the restaurant."

"-No- one came," Ginny complained, her bottom lip jutting out in a very becoming pout. "Not even my stupid brother. And, he was the one who suggested the place!"

Riley spoke up, quickly, noticing the catch in Nicole's breath and wanting to get the subject off Ron. "We, uh… Had a bit of trouble, last night… I got kind of sick and had to go to the infirmary."

"Oh my!" Ginny looked shocked, her hand shooting across the table and feeling Riley's forehead in a very motherly manner. "You do seem a little bit warm… Are you sure you wouldn't rather go to bed right now?"

"I, uh…"

"Actually," Nicole suddenly shot in, getting up and nudging Riley to follow suit, "rest is exactly what she needs!" She started edging Riley away from the very confused Ginny and Neville. When Ginny got up to offer her help in escorting Riley, she waved her aside with a very large, very fake smile. "I can take care of her." And, with that, they were gone and making a bee-line straight for the dorms.

Several sets of eyes watched intently as the two tenshi made their quick retreat.

Ancient blue, filled with love and concern, glued themselves to the brunette, watching her, because that was all he –could- do.

Ice blue, filled with greed and ambition, smiled as they followed the same brunette, knowing that they would be back to work soon.

Hungry, angry black, fading back into the shadows from which they came.

Hermione was so much angry as she was very, extremely, insomuch as is only possible by a female, pissed.

She sat in the Gryffendor common room, staring at the parchment she had to read for homework the next day, and being completely distracted by the absolute melancholy of her two friends on the couch next to her.

Ron sighed, again, and that was it.

She threw down her quill and without even bothering to roll up the scroll, she got out of her seat and assumed her most potent interrogation stance between the two boys and the fire. She smiled in her head as they looked up at her with a sudden fear for their lives. She knew her glare was deadly and was greatly pleased to see them reacting to it with the desired response.

"Now," she began, looking from one shocked set of eyes to the next, "which one of you is going to talk, first?"

"I'm not sure I know what…" Harry began, only to be stopped with a very pointed stare. He cringed and lowered his eyes a bit.

"Don't you even try to hide it from me, anymore, Harry. Something happened last night, and you two were involved, and now it's really bothering you, and you won't even talk to me about it." Her glare softened a bit as a new emotion began to nip at the edge of her anger. " All this with you two and Nicole and Riley and Robin… All this nonsense about the Tenshi Legend… You two disappearing this morning without me… Beating up Malfoy for no apparent reason…I feel like you two are leaving me out of everything, and you won't even talk to me anymore…" Her eyes drifted towards Ron, questioning, pleading for an answer. "-Why- did you go and break up with Nicole?"

She watched as Ron's face went pale and his lips began to tremble. Was he angry? He almost looked like he was about to cry.

"That's none of your business, Hermione." His words carried a strong sense of finality and he got up, heading straight for the portrait entrance.

Just as he reached out to open it, it swung toward him, barely missing his nose. Nicole stood in the entrance, staring straight at him with an intense look in her eyes the Hermione couldn't recognize.

A very long second passed and Nicole began to tremble. Ron stepped towards her, seemingly to get around the frozen girl.

It happened way too fast for Hermione to see it. One second Nicole was standing there, shaking but very much stable. The next, she was on the floor, pushing herself into the wall as far as she could, whimpering weakly.

Ron bent over her, concern in his eyes despite himself, and Hermione cringed as Nicole began to scream and claw at the wall, her nails scraping hard against the stone. Riley came up behind Ron, pushing him out through the portrait, a very strange and almost dangerous look in her eyes as she glared at him, closing the portrait in his face.

Hermione could hear Ron's loud cursing as he punched and kicked the wall outside, but that faded, and she assumed he had left for some other part of the castle.

She stared transfixed as Riley helped up her trembling sister. She gasped, slightly, as Nicole pushed her away and began up the stairway to the girls' dorms alone, gripping the wall tightly for support.

She watched as Riley sighed and turned, seeing the two of them sitting there for the first time.

"Hey," Riley said, walking over to sit on the couch next to Harry.

Hermione's anger was returning, and she took full advantage of it while she had it, refocusing her glare on Harry and Riley. "Will –somebody- tell me what the bloody hell is going on?"

Harry cringed under Hermione's glare. He hadn't seen her this angry in a long time, and really, he didn't see why she should be focusing it on him.

Then a sudden string of guilt hummed in his ear as he replayed in his mind what she had said. They really had been excluding her from a lot of things.

'It's not like we had anything to say… Just a bunch of unanswered questions.'

"Riley!" He turned to look at her, triumph shining in his eyes. Now that she was here, he could finally figure out what exactly –had- happened to the two girls last night.

"Yes?" She stared at him, incredulously.

There was a slight tugging at the back of his mind, something telling him he was forgetting something very important, but he forgot that as he looked into Riley's confused eyes. He had to make sure she was ok, that's what was most important, right?

"Why were you and Nicole in the hospital, this morning? What happened last night?"

She hesitated, and before she could answer, Hermione spoke up, concern lacing her voice. "Hospital? You two were in the hospital?" She was next to Riley, checking her forehead for fever. "Are you ok? Was there an attack, or something?"

Riley's face went pale and her eyes widened at Hermione's question.

"There was, wasn't there?" Harry demanded, standing up in a sudden burst of anger. "Why the hell didn't anyone tell me? I could've helped, damnit!"

'I'm not weak. I'm not!'

Harry clinched his fist, staring at suddenly unsure blue eyes. "Do you think I'm too weak to help you, Riley, is that it?"

"I didn't really have much time to ask for help…" Her voice was shaking, and that just made Harry angrier. Why hadn't he been there to help her? He should have been there!

"Harry," That was Hermione, her voice flat and logical. "If it happened all of a sudden, she probably didn't have time to tell anybody, nonetheless stop in your room and wake you up. Besides…" She glared at him, again, and it was strong enough to dissipate his anger completely. "How did –you- know she was in the hospital, anyways?"

"I saw it on the map, of course." Harry was slightly confused. It was unlike Hermione to bring up something as irrelevant and obvious as that.

"And, you just –happened- to glance at the map, this morning, for a bit to read before breakfast, I take it?"

Harry stared at the two girls before him on the couch. Between Hermione's angry suspicious glare and Riley's growing curiosity he felt his resolve melting right along with his anger.

Why had he thought to look at the map?

He racked his mind, trying to remember what exactly had happened that morning, but the most prevalent memory he had was Ron storming out of the hospital wing, very very angry.

And, before that?

Laughter cut through the silence like lightning as the portrait opened and Neville and Ginny walked in, together. They looked up at the very obvious awkward silence they had interrupted, partly apologetic and partly annoyed.

"Sorry," Neville began, smiling apologetically. "We were trying to get back early for some privacy…" He stopped, suddenly, and blushed as he realized what he had just said.

Ginny laughed, smiling widely at them as she pushed Neville back towards the portrait. "Sorry if we interrupted anything…" They were just about to leave, again, when Ginny turned, suddenly, staring concernedly at Harry. "I do hope you don't have another bad dream, tonight, Harry, but if you do, Fred and George concocted an amazing anti-dream potion. I'll get some for you if you need it."

"What…" Harry began, very much confused.

"We should get some for him, anyways," Neville popped in, also concerned. "That sounded like a really bad dream, this morning, Harry. I know you weren't speaking parsletongue because of… you-know-who… but, it was still creepy. And, I couldn't sworn you were dreaming about Sirius Black, too." He shuddered, turning away from them and following Ginny back out the portrait.

Harry's eyes swiveled to meet two sets of very inquisitive female faces.

"You had a dream where you spoke parsletongue and mentioned Sirius Black's name…" Hermione's glare was going to break his glasses, he swore to it.

A dream? He –had- had a dream. He'd just forgot about it…

"Wait a second…" he mumbled, staring up at them, confused. "I –forgot- about it. I remember it, now, but I actually forgot about it, before."

"Dreams are very potent channels for messages that you normally would never be able to understand," Riley said, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "You should never take them lightly, Harry, especially if it was as intense as Neville made it seem."

"I didn't try to forget it!" Harry said, suddenly defensive. He definitely hadn't tried to forget it.

"Harry," Hermione spoke sternly, drawing his attention back to them. "Can you remember what happened, this morning? From the dream, on.?"

Harry caught the sudden glance between Riley and Hermione and realized the two thought they knew something. It made him slightly angry that they weren't telling him, but then he remembered the pain in Hermione's voice as she had yelled at Ron and him, earlier, and he sighed, going along with her as a sort of appeasement.

Besides, Riley seemed so much better, now that she was distracted from her sister's plight. Maybe all he needed to do to make her feel better was distract her from Nicole for a bit. He could do that.

He sighed, digging into his memory. "The dream was… strange, to say the least." He closed his eyes, focusing on the images as they rushed back into his mind. "It was mostly color and emotion, which is strange, because if it had been Voldemort, which is the only reason I ever speak parsletongue, it should have been much more clear. Ron woke me up, along with Neville… They're the ones who told me I had been speaking in snake… But, after Neville left, Ron told me that I had also said Sirius's name."

"And, this is where you pulled out the map, right?" Hermione added. She sounded much less angry, very much like her old self. It gave him a bit more confidence.

"Yeah… Ron and I figured we'd just find him and go make sure he was ok. But…"

"But, what, Harry?" Riley asked, her eyes staring very intently into his.

But, what? He couldn't remember. What had he done next?

"We saw you and Nicole in the hospital wing…" he continued hesitantly. "We saw your names in the hospital wing and rushed off to go make sure nothing had happened…"

That was it, wasn't it?

"What about Sirius?" Hermione asked, the question like a sledge hammer to his already frazzled brain.

"He…" Harry began, but stopped when he realized he didn't know.

He didn't know? How could he not know? He had been really worried when he was looking for Sirius on the map. Why?

"Harry," Riley spoke up, her voice lilting, like at the beginning of a song. "Look at me, Harry."

He looked at her, right into her sky blue eyes, and he was mesmerized by the ethereal beauty they seemed to radiate out towards him.

"Listen to me, Harry," she continued, her words flowing around him like the wind. "When you looked at the map, where was Sirius?"

"He wasn't there."

That's right! He remembered being very worried when he couldn't find his godfather on the map. He had looked everywhere, from the dungeon to the tower, but he wasn't there. He wasn't in Hogwarts.

"And, what did you do, then, Harry?"

"Saw your name in the hospital."

He remembered the sudden weakness he had felt as the colors and emotions in his dream ran through his head and images of Riley and his godfather injured or dead kept playing at the edge of his sub-conscious.

"And, what did you and Ron decide to do, after that?"

"I told Ron to go ahead of me to the hospital wing while I went to Lupin's."

Lupin. He remembered thinking that he would know where Sirius was. He had looked in his office, first, when looking for him on the map. There was something else he was supposed to remember about that.

"And, what did you find out when you went to see Professor Lupin?"

Harry hesitated. "Sirius wasn't there."

That was it? That couldn't have been it. There was something else. What was he forgetting?

"And, then, Harry?"

"That's when I went to the hospital wing to catch up with Ron. He was just leaving, saying something about not being able to get in to see you 'cuz Madame Pomfrey wouldn't let us in, which didn't make sense, really. He seemed very upset, even then, but I couldn't get him to…" He met her eyes, again, not sure when he'd stopped looking at them. "What just happened?"

Hermione was staring at Riley with admiration, her eyes getting that particular gleam in them they only got when she stared at a particularly large and dusty book.

"I just jarred your memory, a bit, is all, Harry," Riley said, blushing and smiling apologetically.

"Wait… Are you saying my memory was…"

"Blocked, Harry," Hermione tore her eyes off Riley and stared curiously at Harry. "Somehow, all your memories involving Sirius seemed to have been blocked."

"Not blocked," Riley said, standing up and walking to the hearth. She stared into the flames for a few seconds before continuing. "I didn't have to break any charms or use any magic, at all." Her eyes were following the dancing flames, and Harry had to shake himself to stop from being entranced, again.

"You hypnotized me, didn't you?" He said, suddenly very clear on what had just happened.

She nodded, smiling slightly, the light from the flames hiding what must have been a very cute blush. "Yeah. It's actually really easy for me to do. And, it worked, which means," she turned to face him, her eyes almost more curious than Hermione's, "your memories weren't blocked, they were repressed."

He narrowed his eyes, confused, again. "I have a feeling you're about to tell me exactly why that is of such notable importance."

Hermione got up from the couch and stood next to Riley, staring at Harry, making him feel slightly cornered. "How do you block or erase a memory, Harry?"

He stared at her suspiciously. Was this a trick question? "With a spell."

"Do you know any spells that don't require another spell to counter them?"

"No…"

"And, do you know any other way to manipulate someone's memories –without- using magic?"

He stared at her, then stared at Riley. "Hypnotism."

Hermione stared up at Riley, too, expectant.

"Hypnotism is right, Harry," she said, turning back to the flames. "But, even though I said it was easy for me to use in order to make you remember, it's actually not something just anybody could do. In fact, it's a rather difficult task to master, and even then, it's almost impossible to perfect. I, myself, am the only person I know who can either make people remember or forget without using magic."

"So, what you're saying is that a very skilled someone grabbed me up sometime this morning and used hypnotism to make me forget that I was looking for Sirius?"

"Yes and no."

He almost didn't want to ask. "No?"

"It wasn't sometime this morning, Harry," Hermione said, very logically. "Only your memories of before the hospital wing were tampered with."

"Which means…"

"Which means," Riley continued, every inch as logical as Hermione, "that whoever did this to you did it to you right before you went to the hospital wing."

"And, before I went to the hospital wing…"

"Before you went to the hospital wing," Hermione sounded positively ecstatic. "You went to see Professor Lupin."

"So, Professor Lupin…"

"He's probably in grave danger."

Harry and Hermione stared at Riley, aghast.

"What?" she said, looking back and forth between the two. "That's what you were gonna say, right?"

Padfoot was highly annoyed.

Why was he always floating in darkness? As if his life wasn't dreary, enough, now his dreams were trying to suck him down, too?

Why was he dreaming about darkness, again?

He tried to remember exactly what had happened to bring him here, but it slipped away from him, like moonlight through his fingers.

Moonlight?

He looked forward to where his hands were reaching. There –was- a very pale, silvery glow coming from not to far in that direction.

Moonlight! Was it was the full moon, already? What would happen if Moony transformed without him and the others there? He trusted Prongs and Wormtail enough to keep him occupied for a while, but Moony needed another canine there to run and hunt with otherwise he'd get restless and the wolf would start coming out, again.

He stretched and struggled to get to the moonlight. He wouldn't let Moony slip, again. It had taken him so long to control the wolf. He couldn't leave him alone with it, he just couldn't.

Then, he remembered the shadow. There was a shadow near Moony. It had covered up Wormtail and Prongs, and now it threatened to engulf Moony, too.

And, then he would be alone, all alone in the darkness, desperately reaching for the light.

The only way to save Moony was to kill the shadow.

He reached, and grabbed hold of the moonlight.

Padfoot knew what he had to do.