The Big Dating Question
Disclaimer: See previous chapter
A/N: Flame if you must... Charmant=Charming in French
Chapter Two: Grande Fairy Madre Reacts
"Mother, I think that I have found the perfect woman for me." Prince Charming remarked.
"Oh really?" Fairy Godmother questioned.
"Yes." Prince Charming replied. "Little Red Ridding Hood"
"Absolutely not! I forbid, F-O-R-B-I-D, forbid, it!" Fairy Godmother exclaimed.
"Mother, I can spell forbid. And, why not? You want to make me happy, don't you?" Prince Charming asked in a sickly-sweet voice.
"Of course I do, sweetie, but... Li'l Red is a tad on the, well, gothic side, don't you think?" Fairy Godmother questioned.
"Well, yes, but that's what so enticing about her, she's not your average, run-of-the-mill princess. She's an individual." Prince Charming replied.
"Individual or not, I don't like it. Now, why don't you go on this date I have set up for you with Cinderella? The two of you are a perfect match!" Fairy Godmother exclaimed.
"Well, I suppose, if it'll make you happy." Prince Charming pouted.
"Good boy!" Fairy Godmother cooed.
Date #1 – Cinderella
Prince Charming waited outside Cinderella's Castle Apartment in the finest horse-drawn limo around.
"Why is she taking so long?" Charming muttered. "Not even I take three hours to get ready!"
"And how long do you take, sir?" Walter asked. He was the chauffeur.
"Two and a half at the most!" Charming indignantly replied.
"Lovely." Walter muttered.
Presently, the woman to whom they were referring to presented herself.
"Finally!" Charming muttered, as Walter opened the door for Cinderella.
"What's that suppose to mean?" Cinderella whined in her nasally voice.
"Oh, um... nothing!" Charming lied. If anything, he was capable politically.
"Where are we going, anyway?" Cinderella asked.
"To, um... Le Charmant! It's one of my favorite restaurants..." Charming replied.
"Why? Is the food really good or something?"
"Or something"
At Le Charmant –
"I'll have the Greek Salad." Cinderella ordered. "I'm on that Mat-kens diet, and I need to watch my carb. intake."
Charming rolled his eyes. "I'll have the House Salad. North Beach Diet."
"Oh my gosh, no way! My friend is on that! She's lost like, TONS of weight!" Cinderella exclaimed.
"Uh, yeah, lovely." Charming replied, not really listening.
"Just smile and nod." The waiter whispered to Charming.
Prince Charming smiled, and nodded.
Through out dinner, Cinderella chatted incessantly. Really. All she did was TALK. The entire time. Of course, what she said, no one could tell you, because they tuned her out after the rant about how the Mat-kens diet was working for her, but she couldn't lose ANY weight on the North Beach Diet... or something like that.
At the end of the night, after Cinderella was dropped off and Prince Charming very far away, both let out one of the longest, loudest, ear-piercing screams in the history of young adult cartoon dating.
"That... chatter box can't SHUT HER MOUTH to save her own life!" Charming ranted to Walter. "I don't know WHAT she said, but I GUARANTEE that it wasn't anything IMPORTANT!"
"Well, sir, maybe she just doesn't have anyone to talk to normally." Walter said in an attempt to calm tempers.
"IF YOU MARRY SOMEONE AND THEN TELL THEM THAT YOU'RE AN INSANE CHATTER BOX IT'S ENTRAPMENT!" Charming yelled.
"When would you be marring Miss Cindy, sir?" Walter asked.
"NEVER!" Charming exclaimed.
"Very well, sir." Walter replied.
"Oh, shove off." Charming ordered, sulking in the back of the limo.
--
"Will Charming and Cindy ever see each other again? Will Charming EVER get over probably the worst night in his life? What about everyone else in Far, Far Away? And the Fairy Godmother? How will she take the news of her darling son's horrible time? All this and more, next time, but, for now, Mirror Out!"