The Big Dating Question
Disclaimer: see previous, also, I do not own the song Charming sings
A/N: Flame if you must... if you want a picture of the limo, email me at , and I will send to you a picture. And I'll try to write longer chapters. Of course, the longer the chapters, the longer it takes me to update. Also, thanks to all of my reviewers, old and new!!
Chapter Three: Hair Gel and a Shindig
Charming rolled out of the blue silk covers he had been sleeping in, and fell onto the cold, hard floor.
"Oh ouch" He muttered. "I bet I messed up my hair"
"I don't see why you care." The little voice in his head remarked.
"Because! My hair is very... delicate." Charming replied.
"You're just a delicate pansy, now, aren't you?" The little voice mused.
"I am not a FLOWER!" Charming yelled.
"What is this racket that I hear?" Fairy Godmother questioned, flying into the room.
"It is me talking to my stupid little voice." Charming indignantly replied, crossing his arms.
"Oh grow up!" The voice said.
"I will grow up when you stop HARRASSING ME!" Charming exclaimed.
"WILL YOU SHUT UP?!" Fairy Godmother snapped.
"Yes, mother." Charming pouted.
"Mama's little pansy boy, mama's little pansy boy" The voice taunted.
"Shut up." Charming murmured.
Fairy Godmother rolled her eyes. "It doesn't matter!" She remarked, throwing her hands up in defeat. "Walter! Get me my latte!"
Walter came in with the coffee, and then promptly left.
Fairy Godmother took a sip, and then slowly dropped to the ground. "Look, you and Snow White have a shindig tonight, and I want you to be on your best behavior, understand?" She asked.
"Yes, mother... but-" Charming was interrupted by a wave of his mother's hand.
"I will not have any of this Little Red Ridding Hood nonsense! She is not your type!" Fairy Godmother told him.
"How do you know what my type is, anyway? Are you me? No!" Charming huffed.
"I know what your type is because MOTHER KNOWS BEST!" Fairy Godmother yelled.
Now, get dressed, you have to come into work with me."
"But I don't wanna!" Charming whined.
"Don't care!" Fairy Godmother replied, shutting his bedroom door behind her.
"Stupid fairy" Charming muttered, walking over to the three-fold mirror in the corner.
"Ha! Little pansy mama's boy!" The voice exclaimed.
"Stupid voice" Charming said, taking out a bottle of hair gel.
He squirted the gel out onto his hand, the clear, gushy substance slipping through his fingers and dripped onto the hardwood floor.
"Oh shoot. Now I'll have to get Walter up here" Charming muttered, running the reaming gush through his blonde, golden, flowing locks
"I feel pretty, oh so pretty" Charming sang, working the gel through his hair.
"Would you shut up?" The voice murmured. "I mean, really! If you're a pansy and you know it, clap your hands... if you're a pansy and you know it clap your hands, if you're a pansy and you know it then your name will really show it, if you're a pansy and you know it, clap your hands. If you're a pansy and you know it, stomp your feet... if you're a pansy and you know it stomp your feet, if you're a pansy and you know it then your name will really show it, if you're a pansy and you know it, stomp your feet. If you're a pansy and you know it, style your hair... if you're a pansy and you know it style your hair, if you're a pansy and you know it then your name will really show it, if you're a pansy and you know it, style your hair!"
"I hate you. You're such an L 7!!" Charming exclaimed.
"A what?!" The voice asked.
"L 7! You know: a square!" Charming explained.
"You are even more of a dork than I thought. I mean, really! L 7?! That makes a RECTANGLE! You are such a moron. Really! If you were my child, I would slap you upside the head, knock you around, kick your sorry, pathetic butt, just because you are SUCH a PATHETIC moron!" The voice ranted.
"Your words, they doth hurt, but I shalt not let them get to me, for I am higher than thou!" Charming exclaimed, nobly.
"You... disgust... me" the voice replied.
Charming flung back his gelled bangs. "How can one such as I disgust one as appalling as you?" He pompously asked.
"Grow up." The voice muttered, sounding tired, worn out, decrepit. "Until then, I'm going to bed."
Charming smirked at his reflection, and waltz out of the room.
"Oh Walter!" He called, "Please attend to the little matter of some spilt gel!" With that, Charming headed out of the castle doors, disappearing off into a carriage.
--
Snow White powdered her already pale face even paler, and watched as a dwarf brushed back her long, blonde hair.
A faint smile played upon her red lips, her eyes closed as she dreamt about Knights in shinning armor and what not
A dwarf tapped her on the shoulder
"Mademoiselle, your date is here." The dwarf whispered into her ear.
"Thank you, Cheery." Snow White replied, standing up. Sighing, she headed towards the door. "Oh, I hope this is better than my date with Monsieur John"
--
"How will THIS date go? Will Snow White meet someone better than John? Will Charming ever forget about his hair (and remember about long-lost loves...)? WILL THERE EVER BE AN END TO WORLD HUNGER?! Ahem. Sorry. Most of this, and more, next time. But, for now, Mirror Out!"