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Chapter 9

The halls at midnight, I must say, are quite terrifying. Or maybe I'm just a big scaredy cat. I'm sure that's what it is. I had completely lost track of time in the Room of Requirement. I glanced at my watch and saw the hour hand pointing at the tiny little one. If I get caught now it would be detention for sure. I quickened my pace. I was almost to the fat lady when I heard a meow come from behind me. I turned and saw Mrs. Norris, the new caretaker's cat. I knew from hearing James talk that soon Filch would be there to catch me. I broke into a run, and panting stopped in front of the fat lady's portrait. She was awake, so I muttered the password quickly, and ran into the room.

Once I was safely within the confines of the Gryffindor common room, I caught my breath and glanced around the room. Thankfully James was nowhere in sight. I had hoped he wouldn't be. It was too late for talking right now. I walked over to the staircase and into my dorm. My bed across the room seemed to be calling for me. I wanted so much to fall into its soft comforts. So, I did. Instantaneously my mind left me for the dream world of James and my imagination.

The soft sunlight was pouring through the windows as I walked toward the Great Hall to find James. I needed to apologize to him before it was too late. When I came upon the doors, I peaked in and saw James sitting alone eating his breakfast. Just as I moved my foot to walk over to him, I felt nervous. I turned on my heel and ran straight out of the castle. I stood there in the freezing cold for a moment to clear my head, and then turned and walked back in.

James was in the library studying his potions book. I was hiding behind a bookshelf watching him. He looked miserable, and I could see that he wasn't really reading because his eyes weren't moving. His brows were creased in concentration and his left hand was tapping out rhythms on the table, something I knew to be a habit of his when he was concentrating hard on something. I was leaning forward against the books to get a better look at him when one fell from the shelf on James's side. His head snapped up, and looked toward me, but before he could see me I had dashed out of the library.

"Stupid Lily!" I whispered to myself once I had reached the hall. I slowly walked down to the kitchens because I knew I would not go down to dinner no matter how much I bullied myself. I tickled the pear and turned the doorknob to be bombarded with elves. I walked over to a table and sat down. Before I could even speak a large plate of pancakes was placed in front of me. I smiled and grabbed a fork. I had eaten maybe three bites and a fingerful of whipped cream when a little elf came over to me.

"Miss Lily, there is someone who wishes to talk to you. Would you follow me please Miss?"

I looked quizzically at the house elf and nodded. She led me over to a giant fire place, and pointed. Resting in the fire was Sirius's head. I told the elf she could go, and I walked over to the fireplace and sat down on the hard floor.

"Are you stalking me?" I asked him with a smile on my face.

He grinned and told me simply, "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies."

I grinned and just looked at his floating head. "You know it's weird that whenever I need someone to talk to you always seem to show up."

"Lily what's wrong? I thought things were good with you lately."

I watched him watch me for a while before I answered. "James tried to… take things to the next step I suppose. I pulled away from him and got off of the couch. When he looked into my eyes I realized something. Sirius I'm in love with him. That's never happened with anyone before!"

Sirius smiled and replied, "Lily it's ok for you to love him. It's not a crime."

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and looked into Sirius's eyes again. "Sirius, I don't know if I want things to get that serious. I'm afraid of… I don't know… Sirius, I've never felt like this before. Every time I'm around James life is… great. But good things don't last forever."

"Lily I've told you a million times. You need to stop worrying about the consequences, and just do what your heart tells you. You need to stop this whole running thing. It's not good for you. It'll end up ruining you! You and James are one in a million. You two are one of the few couples that are meant to be together so much it almost hurts both of you. This good thing will last forever. You two have the truest love possible."

I blinked back a tear and hoped Sirius didn't see. "But I'm afraid that if I admit it, everything will collapse and be totally ruined. I don't want that."

Sirius gave me a consoling look and replied, "You don't have to tell him until you are ready, even if he says it first. If you aren't ready then don't make yourself do something you'll regret."

I nodded and looked sadly at the floor. "Lily, I think I hear Remus coming. Do you want to talk to him, or shall we end this joyous talk of ours?"

I smiled and told him, "It's getting late Sirius. I should probably get going."

He smiled and nodded. "Be a good girl Lily."

I smiled and replied, "You too Siri!" And with that Sirius disappeared from the fire. I got up off of the floor and walked out the door without a backwards glance. I kept walking until I got to the common room where I had hoped James might be. He wasn't there. I looked at my watch and saw that it was ten thirty. James wouldn't be in bed yet, but with his friends gone he wouldn't be out of the common room either. I walked over to the boys dorms and went to James's. When I opened the door I was greeted by the same mess that was always there, but there was no James. I sighed and turned around and walked to my room. The door was cracked so I just pushed it open. James was sitting on my bed with his broom lying on the floor next to it.

"I was just about to go try to find you. I haven't seen you all day. I didn't mean to make you mad. I'm really sorry. I should have thought about how that would make you react. It was stupid. I'm sorry."

I looked at his sad face and immediately felt bad. This whole time he thought I was mad at him when really I was mad at myself. "James I wasn't mad at you. I just… I was just shocked. It was just a nervous reaction. It's really my fault that we didn't talk today. It's me who should be sorry."

He nodded and said, "I could understand that I guess. But still I'm sorry."

I half smiled and replied, "I tried talking to you about twenty times today, but I got nervous and ran."

He got off of my bed and walked over to me. "So we're ok now right?"

I nodded and smiled. "Yeah, we're great." He smiled and leaned in to kiss me. It was different kissing someone you loved than kissing someone you just liked. James pulled away, gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked out of the room with his broom in hand. I smiled and walked over to my bed. As soon as I had lain down, I knew my dreams would be sweet.