The Big Dating Question
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is not mine… like the characters in Shrek and various other stories.
A/N: Sorry it took so long. I have no good excuse… I was banned from the computer and there were the holidays and school… but I should've made time… sorry ladies and gents
Chapter Seven: Walter Goes AWOL
"WALTER!" Fairy Godmother exclaimed. "GET IN HERE!"
Walter muttered. He had been happily doing the morning crossword when she had called for him. "I am so sick of this woman! She has to have me do practically EVERYTHING for her! She's infuriating!"
"Well, hmm... I would have to say that my expert knowledge in the field of misery have been the keys to my success!" Fairy Godmother replied.
Those words kept playing over in Walter's head as he walked through the hallway towards Fairy Godmother's office.
Expert knowledge in the field of misery… expert knowledge in the field of misery…
"Walter, can you get me some coffee? Decaf. And there are some files that need to be pulled and some others put away." Fairy Godmother ordered.
Walter muttered something under his breath and went to get the coffee.
--
"Tonight you have a date with Rapunzel." Charming told his reflection.
But the voice in his head said: You do not even like Rapunzel. Her hair is too long and she's too perky for you. You like Little Red and you know it. Her gothic-like appearance, her strong will. Her smile, her compassion for her Grandmother. You have met Rapunzel once.
However he told his reflection, "You've never talked to Red, ever. You've just seen her in passing and admired from far away. You have NEVER had a conversation with her."
The voice in his head replied, yeah well, your mother isn't helping things. Making you go on a date with every common princess or wanna be. She just doesn't understand you anymore. No one understands you anymore. You've hit that age where NORMAL people leave their parents. Why don't you do the same? Get your own castle somewhere out in the country. Go to Near Far Away and settle down. No one knows you there. You could start life anew, meet new people, see new sights; it would be perfect for a changed you.
Charming frowned. "But I don't want to branch out. I don't want to move. I like my room." He looked around at the painted blue room with a duck bed spread and a silk canopy over the top. The mirror, the dresser, the big screen TV, and, of course, the full array of hair care products.
You are such a pansy.
--
Walter had given Fairy Godmother her half decaf half regular (even though she had wanted all decaf) coffee and was felling rather rebellious. He had filed the folders alphabetically by first name, which was the exact opposite of the last name policy, and had only pulled half of the requested files. He felt empowered by his anarchist attitude.
Fairy Godmother had taken a sip of her coffee, spit it out, and began berating Walter, who just nodded and said yes, ma'am, no ma'am a lot. She didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary.
Later in the day, when she was looking for one of the files Walter had put away earlier, she couldn't locate it by last name and again yelled at Walter.
In between these, Walter had begun filling out his resume and his two week's notice. He then decided that he was going to just skip the paper work and retire. After all, he had a large amount of money stored up and his high school sweetheart was still single over in Far Away. He would move back home, settle down again, and then, if he felt like it, get a job. But first he needed to fill out that resume, and get things situated for a move. Then, wham, bam, thank you ma'am, he would be out of Fairy Godmother's clutches and on his way to a better life.
--
"I'm sorry, Rapunzel, it was fun and all but I just think that our lives are going in different directions. It's not you, it's me." Charming practiced with his rubber ducky.
"Oh boo hoo hoo!!" Charming had the duck say in return. "Why? WHY?! You're such a hunk!! And you broke my heart!"
"I know I am, and I'm sorry about your heart, really. Next time I'll be sure to crush it in a zillion pieces." Charming told the duck.
"My, my, you are a very cruel person." Walter remarked.
"Wha?! How long have you been standing there?" Charming asked.
"Not long, really." Walter mocked. "I just came by to tell you that I'm planning on leaving soon. I do wish you the best of luck in finding a wife, though."
"Oh. Well, thanks, I think." Charming replied.
--
"What will Fairy Godmother do without Walter? What will happen when Charming runs out of hair care products? Oh wait, sorry, that wasn't supposed to be said aloud… heh. Anyway! All this and more, next time, but for now, Mirror out!"