"That's none of your business. What about me? She was much more of a mum to me than an ex-wife to Charlie… I'll just pass you on now," I said and handed the phone to my father. How could he bring this up now? I rushed up the stairs and threw myself into Edward's arms. That was when I finally started crying.

"Hush, it's allright, Bella. I swear it's going to be alright… I am here for you…I will always be…forever," he soothed me. His words made me remember that if I was to live forever and become one of them I would have had to leave Renee behind anyway and I realised that I would have to leave Charlie behind rather sooner than later as well. I looked up at him and wiped my tears from my cheeks. He eyed me suspiciously.

"I have to look up on Charlie," I said, kissing him lightly on his lips. Standing up and walking down to the kitchen I heard Charlie making some noise and obviously chaos.

"Hello, Bells. How are you feeling?" He asked, seeming very concered about me.

"It's alright dad, I will get over with it. What did Billy want?" I had some difficulties to hold back the tears but somehow I managed to talk somewhat normally.

"He wants me to spend some time with him to get over it. He says I need some time away from work and responsibility. And he told me that he had watched the news and according to them, the plane crashed on a field and was totally burned, so I guess that there will be no funeral for them… Bella?" He was on the verge of tears again, but then he looked at me with his eyes so soft I finally knew that he had still loved Renee all the time and partly did even now. And he saw her inside of me, although we were completely different in a way.

"Yes dad?" I didn't have to push away the 'Charlie' thoughts at that moment, because somehow I very intensely felt that he was my father.

"I will probably spend all my time with Billy now, and he even considered us two living together because Jacob has moved out of his house, obviously they had a big fight and he said we were both alone... I don't think I can leave this house, but I wanted to ask you if you could care for yourself, because at the moment I am not in the state to even care for myself.… I don't want to throw you out, and I know I never did much here and you were doing all the work, but still…" He looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Dad, I don't know if this is the right moment, but I have already considered moving in with the Cullens…I kind of already have while you were gone, so …don't worry about me, worry about yourself. I'm a big girl, trust me. Maybe Billy can help you more than I will ever be able to…probably he will…I won't stay here with you forever, you know…" I hugged him tightly, showing him how much I loved him.

"Good luck with your life, Bells. I know I never did a good job with mine…I…I love you, Bells." Charlie said.

"I love you, too, dad,…goodbye…," I whispered, hugging him again. Then I turned around and went upstairs, facing my future and kissing my destiny after entering my bedroom.

"Yes!" Was all I whispered as I lay in his arms which were holding me tight and lovely.

"What do you mean by 'yes', Bella?" Sometimes I wished he could read my mind.

"I am able to leave all this behind. You just saw it. I am all yours now with nothing else to bind me to human life. This is the answer you have been worrying about and threating all the time. You haven't been sure if I could give all this up for you. The fact is: I just did. Mum is dead and I told Charlie goodbye. This should probably and finally convince you I am absolutely sure about my choices." I looked into his eyes that had been darkening at first, but now got lighter with every word.

"I love you. Maybe I should take you to my place…?" He whispered into my ear.

"Yes, please…take me home, I long to see the others…" I didn't know if it was alright with him if I considered the Cullens' mansion home, but obviously it pleased him. He scooped me up into his arms and jumped out of the window, running at lightening speed towards the huge white house somwhere deep in the forest. As we sped up the lane to the house Alice greeted us fom the door.

"I'm so sorry for you, Bella, I should have been able to warn you… you two have to see something," she said hugging me sisterly and then dragging us into the house and in front of the tv. The news channel was on and so we watched, but it had to be a recording, because Alice moved the tape forward and at some point started it again.

"The only recording left from the flight is a passengers short message which he had sent to his wife some minutes before the crash. It says: 'My dearest love, I love you. I will die in this plane. There is a woman. She killed the pilots. She searched for a woman that had short brown hair and pale skin. She killed her. The killer is pale. She has red hair and red eyes. Terrorist? Your ever faithful husband.' 'We are actually searching for a woman matching the description,' said the police officer in charge or the researches. The crash is however not considered a terroristical act of violence. Maybe it even just had a personal background. All sources are trying to figure out the identity of the killer and the described victim. Unconfirmed reports tell about a red haired figure having jumped off the plane with a parachute." Alice stopped the tape. I looked at her and Edward in shock.

"Victoria…," I breathed so low I could bearly hear myself. They nodded. I felt anger and hate build up in my chest, of course I had hated her before, but she hadn't killed my mother then… I clenched my hands into fists and I felt the urge to hit something. Strange, usually I was rather a non-violent person.

"I am sorry, Bella. I should have been able to prevent this…we should have killed her…" Alice whispered.

"That doesn't matter anymore, Alice. It has happened, we can't change that. But she won't exist much longer anyway…" I spat out. She would pay the highest price, that much was for sure.

"What do you mean by this, Bella?" Edward was cocerned and partly alarmed.

"When I am changed I will personally make her pay back what she's taken. She will have to pay. I will kill her for killing my mother.…" I hissed, but then something hit me.

"Charlie!" I said, my eyes wide open in shock. She had killed my mum so it was obvious where she'd go next…

"No, he's safe, Bella. As long as we and the …wolfmonsters…are here, she won't dare coming here." He tried to sooth me.

"He will have to go to Billy's, though. I trust Jacob in keeping him safe…we won't be there to protect him all the time, will we? So I have to go see Jacob."

"No, Bella. I won't let you go anywhere I can't constantly keep your company. You can call him, but you won't go down there!" He debated.

"I have to go. I have to see Jacob at least one last time, Edward. And I have to tell them that Victoria is back." I said when I saw the protest in his eyes once again.

"She's right Edward. Talking to them in personal would be best and we can't go there. She has to take the place of a neutral messenger." Carlisle interrupted his intentions to say something. Edward shut up and took me to the car. When we sped towards first beach and pulled up as close to Sam's house as he was allowed to he turned to look me in the eyes.

"Bella, please be safe. Remember: these beasts can't control themselves. Try to not push them, and I am close enough to hear you scream…" I shut him up with a kiss.

"They would say the same about you!" I stepped out of the car and left him with a worried face.

"I love you!" I walked along the dirty roads towards Sam's house. I hoped they were there, but when I knocked only Emily opened the door.

"Well, if that isn't the vampire girl! Hello, Bella, what brings you here?" She addressed me, as friendly as always.

"Hello wolf girl. Is the pack at home?"

"No, but they will come any moment, lunch's ready. Look, there they come!" She said pointing behind me. I stepped inside the house to let the quickly arriving werewolves pass. When Jacob arrived as the last he stopped right in front of me and looked at me with an incredulous look in his eyes.

"Bella? What are you doing here?"

"I am glad to see you as well, Jacob."

"I am rather suprised, but it's good to see you again…" He sounded hurt…

"Jake, can I talk to you?" He seemed hesitant when he answered.

"Yes, what is it that you want?"

"You see, Renee, she didn't die by accident. That was Victoria who had her hands in this. Please make Charlie move in with Billy for a while and please, please, please keep him safe… Could you do that for me? You know, I still see you as my best friend."

"Can't your bloodsuckers take care of him?"

"Please, Jacob…don't be like this…we won't be there to protect him…the Denalis have invited us to Alaska over Easter…" Jacob began to tremble.

"And you know I know exactly what for you are going there! I do warn you Bella…"

"Warn me of what excactly?" I asked, now angry myself.

"He can kill you at any moment. All of them. And they will, be sure of that. If you serve yourself to him…you will die by his very hand, or teeth for that matter."

"Oh, and I am so much more safe around you, who is alredy trambling and if you can't control yourself, then you will certainly do the job for him!" He looked at me wide eyed and then relaxed a little.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I guess I will just have to learn to handle your choice. We will take care of Charlie for you. But please Bella, take good care of yourself…" A tear ran down my cheek as I answered.

"I will, Jacob, but please do the same. We will see each other again, that much do I promise you. Please look away over the boundaries of your natural enemyship, and still see me as a friend when I return…" I hugged him and then turned around with a hanging head, tears streaming down my face I couldn't hold back. When I arrived at Edwards car he looked at me with grief on his face. I stepped into the car and he wordlessly turned on the engine. It seemed an awfully long drive to his house and as soon as we arrived Alice just hugged me and dragged me inside sitting me down on a sofa in the living room. To my surprise everyone was gathered there and Carmen started talking.

"I think you are all really torn up, especially you, Bella, dear, and we think you need something nice you can maybe even laugh about, just something different to moping and hanging around the house. My husband and I took the opportunity to invite all to the theater tonight." Wosh. Eight jaws dropped, even the three girls hadn't kown about it, of course Alice had, but she smiled nothingtheless. Edward frowned. I looked at him questioningly but he just looked back at Carmen and Eleazar, when Jasper voiced everybody's thoughts.

"What are we watching? And where?"

"We are watching a musical. There's a premier in Seattle tonight." Eleazar said, making us all even more suspicious by not telling us what musical exactly we were going to watch…

"What musical, exactly?" This time Emmett was the one to voice my thoughts.

"It's a bit of everything. Love story, comedy, horror…well, not actually horror, but a comical try of it…" Eleazar said, still avoiding to tell us the name of the play.

"What musical will we watch, Eleazar?" Irina, Kate, Tanya, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett asked at the same time, starting to laugh as they realised they had all asked the same at the same moment. I still tried to read the answer from Edward's not so enthusiastic eyes, to say the least.

"Umm… well, alright, but only if you promise not to laugh!" Carmen said. Immediately there were six hands on the chests of the six inquiring vampires.

"The Dance of the Vampires," Eleazar mused. They all laughed, though, even I joined the laughter, but stopped it the second I saw Alice flash a look at me…uh, oh…dressing up…. Two minutes later I found myself pleading and arguing in Alice's bathroom, with Rosalie and her doing my hair and makeup at vampire speed.

"Alice, Rosalie, please…it will be dark there anyways!" I was shut up by one of Alice's usual 'never had a human childhood' comments, but I had begun contering them as well, saying I would gladly swap places with her. That shut her up for that matter. I still couldn't wait until Edward would finally change me, but we had a silent treaty that I wasn't to bring this up over and over again, just like he wouldn't keep on demanding about wedding. I wouldn't give up that easily, though.

"Dress, Bella!" Alice squealed from behind me, scooping me up into her arms and running me to her room where a blood red dress was laid out across her bed. When I had stepped into it, it flowed down to the floor, but it was pretty plain, though very beautiful. It had only one shoulder and went pretty low on the back, but the V on the backside was fixed with a black velvet band. Another black velvet band started at the bottom of the V, going down around my waist in the front to the other side and went down as a border along the slit on the left side that wnt about mid-tight high, the other side of the slit was boardered with a similar band, but this one just went down from the V, joining the other band right at my hip, where a black velvet rose covered the place where they met. It was beautiful. As soon as she had me in similar black ballerinas (thank god! No heels!), she shoved me in front of the mirror. I looked actually pretty, my hair curling above my bare arms, slightly tied in the back, makeup in decent shades of red.

"Now go and meet Edward in the living room," Alice ordered. I blushed slightly. Would he like it? Would he appreciate the way it hugged my figure? Rosalie ripped me out of my worries.

"I bet he'll be wearing black tonight." That sent me running down the stairs as fast as I could without tripping, and made them stay behind laughing wholeheartedly. The not tripping attempt didn't work at all, though. I flew over the whole lower staircase and Edward had to catch me in midair. Alice shrieked from above.

"Bella, watch out! Your hair!" That made Edward growl.

"Of all the things you worry about when Bella falls down – no flies over – a whole staircase is her hair? What kind of a sister are you, Alice?" I didn't pay much attention to his rant, I was too preoccupied with what he was wearing. He wore a black pair of jeans and a black jacket that covered a crimson red button down shirt. I couldn't stop ogling.

"Bella, you look beautiful!" he breathed.

"Could say the same about you…" He laughed and led me out to the red BMW M3 covertible we would be sharing with Rosalie and Emmett. The 'adults' wold ride in the Mercedes S 55 AMG and the three girls, as well as Alice and Jasper, took the Denalis' dark blue Chrysler. To my surprise they were all just coming out of the house, although Alice and Rosalie hadn't even been close to ready just a few minutes ago.

However, after a silent ride of about one hour – stupid vampire speed, I coldn't look out of the window – we arrived at the Seattle theatre. As usual, Edward helped me out of the car, but he still seemed a bit sceptical about the musical. I just found it funny to watch a vampire musical that was more than very cliche accompanied by a bunch of twelve vampires. The boy selling the tickets looked really impressed by the large group of beautys and the human, walking towards the very first row – I don't know why I had expected anything else.

"Good evening, ladies and gentelmen. Welcome to the premier of The Dance of the Vampires. In case you carry a cell phone, we must ask you to switch it off now. Please enjoy our play." A voice emerged from the boxes.

We had all taken our seats, on the very left (right if you looked down from the stage) was Eleazar, beside him Carmen, Esme, Carlisle, then Edward and I, Emmett, because Rosalie wanted to sit next to Alice who, of course, sat with Jasper and then came the three Denali girls. They had wanted Jasper surrounded by enough not human people…it was somewhat hard for him in the room with so many humans in very small place. Just when I had finished looking for everybody and where they were situated, the Overture began.

Most of it was kind of silly, because it was about some old weird professor who was searching for vampires in Transsilvania, accompanied by his assistant. The assistant fell in love with the daughter of the hotel owner but she was drawn to the vampire lord in the castle nearby. He invites her to the midnight dance and she goes without anyone knowing. The assistant however wants to rescue her and the professor still wants his vampires, so they both go and search for the vampire castle and become guests of the lord.

In the breake we sat in a corner of the hall and laughed about how ridiculous this was, even Edward managed to find it funny. When I had drunk the juice they had got me to drink we walked back to our seats, Jasper and Emmett still arguing about the advantages or disadvantages of living in a huge castle, Esme just said it was awful to clean up.

When the second act started it got interesting. The first song was about the love between the girl and the lord, completely different and not the least bit compareable to what Edward and I had, but still impressive.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

(turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit lonely
But I don't know what I miss
(turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit desperate
And I wonder what it is I desire
(turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit nervous
That the best of all the years have gone by
(turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
And then I see the look in your eyes
(turn around, bright eyes) Every now and then I hear a voice
(turn around, bright eyes) Every now and then I hear
(turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit restless
And I dream of something wild
(turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit helpless
And I'm lying like a child in your arms
(turn around)Every now and then I get a little bit curious
What it's like to be a woman and free
(turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
But then I see you calling for me
(turn around, bright eyes) Every now and then I fall apart
(turn around, bright eyes) Every now and then I fall apart

Boy: And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
My love is like a shadow on you all of the time
I don't know what to do
And I'm always in the dark
Girl: We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
Both: I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Girl: Once upon a time I was falling in love
now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
a total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
There's nothing I can say
a total eclipse of the heart...

"You don't feel that way, do you?" My love asked in a hushed but concerned tone.

"No, your love isn't a shadow, it's pure light. I love you." I said, then turned around to face the stage again.

(turn around) Every now and then I think I better run away from you
Before it's too late
(turn around) But every now and then I know I must go when you lead me
I would go with you through the gates of hell
(turn around) Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe
As magical and wondrous as you
(turn around) Every now and then I know there's nothing any better
And here's nothing that I just wouldn't do
(turn around, bright eyes) Every now and then I hear a voice
(turn around, bright eyes) Now I know I never had a choice

Both: And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
Boy: I don't know what to do
And I'm always in the dark
Girl: We're living in a powder keg
And giving off sparks
Both: I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Girl: Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
Both: There's nothing I can do
a total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can do
a total eclipse of the heart
Girl: There's nothing I can say
a total eclipse of the heart
There's nothing I can do
a total eclipse of the heart

The next song was again rather ridiculous so Edward took the opportunity to calm himself.

"You should have thought about running, too…"

"Never. There's no one in the universe as magical and wondrous as you. I always had a choice and I would never have chosen anything different…" I kissed him softly on his cheek.

The rest of the play went ok until Emmett got a laughing attack when the gay son of the vampire lord flirted with the assistant. But some time later they all laughed softly when they sang about eternity being boredom forever and I heard Edward whisper 'let's not over exaggerate'. However it got interesting when the vampire sang about his destiny and forsaken life.…

Endless Appetite

Well alright,
no stars tonight
The moon must hide
can't bear to see my face
So many moons have passed
So many suns gone down
Too much blood under the bridge
Too many worlds turned upside down

The skies were pure and the fields were green
The fading summer, sixteen-seventeen
The first time I ever drew blood
She was such a beautiful and innocent child
She never knew my soul was cursed for good
I fought to overcome my thirst I thought I could
But when I kissed her lips then I had no control
And the furies all ran wild

Edward leaned away from me and pulled his arm away from me, but I leaned over to him and pressed my lips just onto his, showing him that he was good, he was stromg and he really loved me. He smiled at me, kissing me back and taking his usual position again, my head on his shoulder. Emmett chuckled and I elbowed him into the ribs. He barely felt but got the hint.

And when I grasped for life
I always killed the things for which I yearned
I wish to be a flame and reduce to ashes
But I have never burned
I long to fly in total freedom
and yet these chains keep dragging me down
I want to be an angel or the devil himself
But I am nothing but a creature longing for things I can't have

And this split that stole my very soul – Edward cringed -
It's a wound that never mends – he tried to get away from me again, but I managed to wrap myself aroubd his arm so he would have had to hurt me to get free -
Our desires are elusive
And the hunger never ends
When the world has drawn it's final breath
and extinguished all the lights
There'll be nothing left
but a lifeless wasteland and an endless appetite
Nothing left but a soundless heartbeat and a ruthless appetite

The preacher's daughter let me in her room
In seventeen thirty-two, to love me was her doom
With her silken blood I wrote a poem of love
Upon her ivory skin
And the bashful page of Napoleon the Great
In eighteen hundred thirteen he stood at the gate
When I recall his body I can't help but think
To consume him was a sin
So many victims washing on the shores
an ocean of pure tears
So many pleas for mercy, howls of pain
Intoxicating fears
I used my body just like a bandage
I used their bodies just like a wound
And I'll never know where they disappeared
But I can see them rising up out my memories now
Just like the demons rising up from a tomb!

And there is no way ever to apologize,
repent or make amends
No release and no redemption
The hunger never ends
There are those who believe in science
And those who believe in art
There are those who believe in power and wealth
Or love and matters of the heart
There are those who believe in various gods
In nations, and knowledge
In hell and in heaven
The powers of darkness
The assumption of the light
But I believe in just one god
That of endless and insational
Immoral and destructible
And all consuming appetite

There is a prediction that I now will make
And I'm sure it will be right:
When the next millennium finally comes
The god most worshiped in this world
Will be the god of appetitte

I guess I now knew the reason for his doubts about going. It was this situation he had feared. Maybe he had thought this kind of songs would open my eyes about what he was in his opinion. He was wrong, however. He wasn't like that. Half an hour later we were in Rosalies car, Emmett and I happily chatting and laughing about the play.

"See, Edward, that's what any responsible vampire would do…" Emmett said, but was shut up by a growl sounding through the car. Rosalie had closed the top because it was raining.

"I have to admit that he has a point" I threw in. He shot me a glare. Of course the lord hat bitten the girl in the end and she had even bitten the assistant, so it was a vampire ending.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, did you just glare that mad at me?" I asked, shocked. Rosalie chuckled and Emmett tried to hold his laughter back. She studied our expressions through the rear mirror.

"Yes I did. I thought you wouldn't bring this up!" He said, a bit sorry, but just a bit.

"Then you should really apologise, or I am not going to marry you in this decade!" Emmett burst out in laughter and Rosalie gave me a go-on-look. Edward rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

"I'm sorry Bella. Where were we befor I was behaving rude again?" I almost giggled, but just kissed him slightly to show him he was forgiven. At any rate, Rosalie, who was now on my side and a second sister to me, somehow turned on the radio playing 'Beauty and the Beast'. She got a fist in the back, but the car didn't move an inch. Emmett punched Edward and I shrieked. He had stroken me while going at Edward. Immediately he looked at me with serious and apologising eyes. Edward was concerned and looked at my wrist where I was hurt, silently cursing Emmett, I could tell they both felt bad about this.

"Well done, stupid. Her wrist is sprained. Gimme the first aid case from the case in the front!" Emmett felt really bad now an did like he was told, sometimes I was happy Edward had been through med school twice.

"Here. Bella, look I'm so sorry…does it hurt badly?" He was so turn up. I loved my big brother.

"No, it's ok…ouch!" Edward was bandaging my wrist and had twisted it into a somewhat uncomfortable angle while doing the bandage.

"Sorry love… does it hurt? Don't worry, luckily it isn't broken." I swore. Did I have to present myself especially clumsy and fragile in my last human days? The thought made my heart jump, and of course they heard, and six eyes looked at me questioningly.