Roy: I wanna do it!

Me: no

Roy: PUH-LEEEEZE???

Me: ugh…fine.

Roy: YAY! -clears throat-QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:

CHAPTER 14, D IS FOR DOG POUND

Me: -whispering- chapter 4, retard!

Roy:-corrects himself- CHAPTER 4, RETARD.

Aryn: OK, Mar is really sorry that she hasn't updated in awhile, right Mar?

Me: Yeah, sorry.

Brandi: You better be!

Peggy: Oh well, here's the next chapter.

"Hi, everyone! I'm Alphonse Elric! And from Central Headquarters, it's TOTALLY EDWARD!"

"Totally!" said Ed.

Then Ed proceeded with his little ramble (while speaking in a slow, lazy person voice). "Ok, so my brother and I wanted to resurrect our mom…and so we did…but it failed…and I was like, unconscious…and I looked around for Al…but I couldn't see him…'cuz there was all this mist…so I was like 'hey, Al, where did you go?'…but when the mist cleared up…there was this thing…and I was like 'ahhhhhh' and I was like, 'Al, where are you?'…but Al was gone…" said Edward.

"And that was TOTALLY EDWARD!" exclaimed Alphonse.

"Totally!" –Ed

Suddenly, Roy cam in (well, because they were in his office) and saw Ed dressed in hippie clothes. Well because Eric Cartman from South Park hates hippies, he popped out of thin air and killed Ed with bear mace. So then Winry threw him into the Great Will of the Macrocosom from Excel Saga. So then he came back to life and I threw Cartman into gluttony's stomach. So because Ed is now alive, this last paragraph was completely pointless but I just needed something to fill the space.

"Ed, why are you dressed as a hippie in my office?" Asked Roy. A perfectly reasonable question, don't you think? Because there are questions that are dumb and questions that…(Aryn: GET ON WITH THE STORY!) ok, so yeah.

"Duh, I'm filming 'Totally Edward' r-tard!" Said Ed.

"don't ever say that again." Said Havoc who just walked in to get a pack of cigarettes.

"Ed, you have no time for this. You still need to finsh your job of scraping Black Hayate off the ceiling from the incident in the first chapter." Roy pointed to the ceiling, where sure enough, Black Hayate was still plastered.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Said Ed who was not really planning on getting the dog down anytime soon. So instead, he yanked Hayate off of the ceiling (along with a good chunk of the ceiling as well) and started out the door.

"Where is he going?" asked a very curious Alphonse.

"I have no idea." Answered havoc and Roy.

"AY! Where are my cigarettes? I neeeeeeeeed them!" Whined Havoc, sinking to the floor to sob his eyes out.

(Peggy: tehe! –hides cigarettes behind back--)

Meanwhile….

"hello, and welcome to the We Hte U dog pound! How may we be of service?" asked the dog pound employee who looked like she had plastic surgery 45,643,792,573,468.62 times too many.

"Um, yeah, I want to drop off this dog. He's covered in coke and mentos and serves of no use to me." Said Ed, handing over Hayate.

"Ok, we'll just put him right here." Said Ms. Plastic Surgery as she stuck the chunk of ceiling Hayate was stuck to into a place on her ceiling that had been ripped out by god knows what. "Now he is in a better ceiling. Oh, and By the way, I'm actually Paris Hilton. My dad was suddenly poor and I have to work. The male workers are so nice. But I've already got 2,000 babies inside me. Tehe."

"AHHHHHHHH PARIS HILTON! WHORE ALERT!" Shouted Ed and he killed her with some whore-be-gone mace. And she did the world a favor and died.

Me: once again, sorry for it taking so long. Next update will come sooner, I promise! Well, I'm bored. What to do, what to do…I know! –dives off cliff- WHEEEEEEEEE! IT'S THE NEVER-ENDING DROP!

Aryn: that looks like fun…aw, what the heck. –Dives off cliff- WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Brandi: OH! CHECK MAR'S PROFILE, PLEASE! IMPORTANT (-ish) INFO! –shrugs and follows Aryn- BANZAIIIIIIIII!!!!!!

Peggy: -eating popcorn and watching-

Havoc: HEY! MAR! WRITE ME SOME CIGARETTES! –jumps-

Envy: OMG, I must kill this Author who is planning to make a habit of killing Adam Sandler! –jumps- COME BACK HEEEEEERE!

Rei: NO, WAIT MY LOVE! –jumps after Envy-

Roy: NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME! I'M GOING DOWN WOTH YOU! –dragges Peggy and jumps-

Peggy: PUT ME DOWN YOU BASTARD!

All of us: WE'RE FALLINGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!

Ayumi: Wait for me! –dives off cliff too-

Me: -shouting- REVIEW OR ELSE!