A/N: This just hit me out of the blue after watching "Fannysmackin'" on Monday. Thank you to my awesome beta team: ladykestrel, bmdohmen and Artemisemerald. You ladies are the BEST. And now, without further adieu, my first attempt at slash. I hope you enjoy it, and even if you don't, you lie convincingly enough that I think you do. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

He didn't know why he did it, but for some reason, he couldn't help himself. He'd done the same thing before after the lab explosion and now, four years later; here he was hiding from the truth again.

When Greg had been hospitalized before, Nick had kept a silent, secret daily vigil at his bedside. If anyone came in he'd make some excuse ad go hide in the waiting room or pray in the chapel, returning only once the visitor had gone and Greg was asleep. Sure, he'd been there when he was awake as well, just "stopping by" to see how the young lab rat was doing. No one knew the truth though; no one knew he'd only left the hospital grounds to shower, change clothes and go to work. The nurses had been sworn to secrecy with a touch of the Stokes charm and a thinly stretched lie about loving Greg like a kid brother and not wanting the ribbing he knew he would get from his coworkers.

Now four years later, here he was, keeping the same silent, secret vigil. Greg had been beaten nearly to death by a mob of teens while trying to save the life of an innocent tourist. He'd saved Stanley Tanner's life, but taken the life of one of the teens in the process. Nick couldn't imagine the agony Greg was going through and as badly as he wanted to be there for him, his fear kept him from doing anything about it.

Sara was the only one who knew. She was his best friend and more of a sister to him than his own flesh and blood. After the lab explosion, he'd gone to her apartment one afternoon when Greg had started to develop an infection and took a brief turn for the worst. Nick had run to the one place he knew he would be accepted and loved – he ran to Sara.

He showed up on her doorstep frantic and sobbing, scaring her nearly out of her wits. "Nick…Nick, what is it," she asked. He'd awakened her from a sound sleep but seeing him like this brought her quickly to full alert, worried that something had happened to one of his family members, or worse yet, one of their team.

She took him gently by the hand and led him inside when she saw he wasn't in enough control to think about anything at the moment. She had never seen her best friend like this and frankly, it scared the shit out of her. Nick was normally calm and collected, not to the degree of their boss, Gil Grissom, but he was another story entirely.

When they reached her couch she pushed his shoulders so he would sit and tried to get him a glass of water from the kitchen. He clenched her hand convulsively, unwilling to be left alone for even the few seconds it would take to cross her small apartment. Sensing he needed her proximity more so than anything at the moment, she sat next to him on the couch, gathering him close to her until his wracking sobs finally subsided several minutes later.

"Nick, honey, what's wrong? Whatever it is I can't help unless you calm down and talk to me…and honestly, you're scaring the hell out of me here."

"I'm…I'm sorry, Sar," he gulped, trying to regain control of his emotions. "It's Greg, he's, he's…" The moment Nick mentioned Greg's name, his tenuous control collapsed again. Through his sobs he tried to fill Sara in, but his broken syllables made as much sense as evidence out of context. She finally had to still his efforts by placing her fingers on his lips and pulling him into a sisterly embrace again.

After some time, she realized he had sobbed himself to sleep in her arms. Checking the time on her cell phone, she realized he would be in no condition for shift tonight. Overstepping the bounds of friendship for the sake of his well being, she pressed the 2 on her cell and waited until the autodial engaged and she saw the familiar number of Grissom pop up on the screen.

"Grissom." Sara winced when she heard his sleep-slurred voice come on the line.

"Hey Gris, sorry to wake you, it's Sara. Listen, Nick showed up at my place a little while ago sick as a dog. I don't think there's any way he's going to make it in for shift tonight. I know that leaves us short, do you want me to come in even though I'm off?" Sara spoke quickly hoping he wouldn't question her story. From the first time they met, she'd never been able to lie to him. Doing so now made her exceedingly nervous but she wasn't about to tell him that a nearly hysterical Nick had cried himself to sleep in her arms.

"No, thank you, Sara. I'm sure we'll be fine. Days can pick up the slack if we need any help; you just take care of Nicky. Let me know if you need anything."

Sara thought she heard a touch of resignation in his voice but quickly chided herself for such wishful thinking. "Oh hey, one more thing," she said hurriedly before he could terminate the call. "Have you heard anything about Greg today? I was going to stop by later to see him, but I was wondering how he is going."

Grissom sighed heavily which in Sara's experience was never a good sign. "He's started to develop an infection, Sara. They believe they caught it in time and got him started right away on antibiotics, but the next 48 hours or so will be critical. The moved him into isolation as a precaution and he's not allowed visitors right now. I got the phone call from his doctor on my way home this morning."

"Have you called his parents yet," Sara intoned, concern heavy in her voice. Nick's ramblings about Greg were finally beginning to make some sense to her.

"I spoke to his father after I got off the phone with his doctor. They are still working on getting back into the country. The village where he was working is so remote it could take another week to get back to a town large enough to have an airport so they can fly to Nairobi and then fly to Vegas."

"My God. I can't imagine what they must be going through, trying to get back at a time like this. You'll let me know if you hear anything else, won't you?"

"Of course, Sara. Now go take care of Nicky, I'm sure he needs you, " Grissom said with more force than he had intended.

"Um, yeah, ok. So I'll see you tomorrow night then. I'll have Nick let you know how he's feeling. Bye!" She ended the call quickly to avoid having to hear the accusatory tone in his voice any longer. "What is wrong with me?" Sara thought to herself. "He has me feeling guilty and there's nothing even going on between Nick and me!"

Gingerly, she slid away from the exhausted man and laid him out as best as she could. She removed his shoes and covered him with a blanket, noticing how pale and drawn his face was, even in sleep. "What is going on with you, Nick?" she whispered as she slipped quietly out of the room to fix them something to eat.

As short time later she hear moaning coming from her living room. By the time she had crossed the apartment, Nick was thrashing in his sleep and crying out Greg's name over and over. She laid her hand on his shoulder and shook him firmly while calling his name. She'd had to awaken him from nightmares before when he would come over after a tough shift and fall asleep on her couch. The difference this time was that it was Greg he was calling for, not his mother.

The moment he awakened and saw the concern on Sara's face, he knew he must have let something slip in his sleep. He hadn't even intended to give in to his exhaustion, but he'd found such comfort and acceptance in the refuge of his best friend's embrace that sleep claimed him before he knew it was happening.

Sara had suspected for some time there was something her favorite Aggie wasn't telling her. She had even begun to wonder if he'd admitted it to himself when she saw the blush stain his cheeks and she realized that particular worry was unfounded.

Seating herself next to her surrogate brother, Sara turned to face him. "Is there something you need to tell me, Nick?" she asked in a tone that while supportive, it left no room for denials.

"I don't even know where to start, Sar," he answered quietly, his voice faltering. He turned to look at her, his eyes registering the concern and affection on her features. "He can't die Sara! I can't lose him," Nick blurted out suddenly; no longer able to contain the secret he had been keeping for so long.

"Nick, what are you talking about," Sara questioned; gently trying to draw out the potentially explosive confession she was now expecting to hear.

"It's Greg…he's developed an infection and they had to move him to isolation so he can't have visitors," Nick blurted; his words tumbling over each other in his haste to get them out before breaking down again.

"Did you talk to Grissom before you came over here, Nick?" Sara questioned, wondering how he could have this news so soon.

Nick averted his gaze, unable to look his friend in the eye, afraid of her reaction to what he was about to tell her. "No, I was in his room when the moved him." Nick sighed deeply, warring with himself over what to say next.

Finally the need for support and honesty won out over his fear and desire for privacy. "I've been there, at the hospital, since the explosion, Sar. I've only left to go home so I could shower and change for work."

"Then why have I only seen you a couple of times? I go in every day to check on Greg at some point," Sara was shocked at his admission, but not really surprised by his behavior.

"I know what times people usually come see him and I go sit in the waiting room or pray in the chapel until I figure they're gone." Tears were beginning to gather in his eyes again as he finally began to let go of his closely guarded secret.

Unable to withstand the burden alone any longer, Nick finally broke down into tears again and blurted out the truth. "I'm in love with him, Sara…I am in love with Greg Sanders!"

Sara smiled softly at her dear friend's admission. The words confirmed her suspicions and brought her a measure of pride that she knew the Texan as well as she did. Wrapping her arms around her anguished friend, she did her best to soothe his troubled mind. "Shhh, Nick, it's going to be ok. I talked to Grissom a little while ago and he told me they doctor believes they started the antibiotics in time."

They remained in that position for several minutes; Sara giving Nick her silent but strong support and Nick struggling to come to terms with the fact that he had just outed himself to Sara. After a while, Sara started to rise, but Nick held on tightly, still needing her support. She gently extricated herself from his grip reassuring him again, "It's ok, Nick. I'm just going to make some coffee and make us something to eat. You look like you haven't been eating for the last week and a half.

Nick half groaned, half sighed as he relented and released his grip on Sara. "I grab a protein bar when I go home to shower and change before shift."

Sara shook her head and muttered something about the stubbornness of men as she pulled him to his feet. "Come on into the kitchen with me, we can talk while I make you an omelet. Actually, YOU can talk while I cook, because you have a great deal of explaining to do, mister!" She kept her tone light so he wouldn't think she was angered or disgusted by his confession.

Reluctantly, he followed her into the tiny kitchen. He had known he would eventually have to tell her; he'd simply wanted to do so in a different way under better circumstances. He detected no hint of judgment or dismay from her, which was reaction he dreaded most from her.

Sure she was a terrific actress to those who didn't know her well. Over the course of their friendship, however, he had come to pride himself on his ability to see through her fronts. He was even onto her most closely held secret, her deep feelings for their quirky, insect- loving boss. Now, though, there was no front for him to see though. She accepted his profession of love for the adorable lab rat as though it was no different from being told the sky was blue. Simply the statement of a fundamental truth, for to Nick that's what it was.

"You're, umm, ok with this, Sara," Nick asked, needing her verbal confirmation and blessing. She was after all his best friend and he needed to hear as well as see that she approved.

"Nick, you've said yourself that we are as much siblings as we are coworkers or friends. If this is who you are and Greg is whom you love and this makes you happy, then I am absolutely ok with it," Sara answered frankly, her gap-toothed grin telling Nick she was being absolutely honest.

"But so help me, if that annoying geek hurts you, I'll snap his scrawny little body like a twig," she said with a laugh and just enough venom for Nick to know she would do it. Given the fact that she had the skills and experience to hide all the evidence, he felt it best to take her seriously.

While she rummaged through the refrigerator for ingredients, he quietly filled her in on how he'd been spending all his time at the hospital since the explosion. He explained how he'd used his charm on the nurses, convincing them he thought of Greg like a brother and felt badly that his real family was still stuck out of the country. She was being so kind and supportive, he didn't even balk when he saw her throw some tofu in with the veggies for his omelet. He knew she was only taking care of him in the same way he would take care of her if the situation were reversed.

Once they were seated at the small dinette set eating her specialty, she finally voiced the question she had wanted to ask, "Does Greg know how you feel?"

"God no! I've never told anyone but you that I'm gay. Hell, until I told you, I had never voiced my feelings for Greg out loud," Nick stated between bites of the delicious fare. Though he'd never admit it to the vegetarian across the table from him, he didn't even mind the tofu.

"Nick, you need to tell him. Don't you think he deserves to know," she stated vehemently. When he started to argue, saying he didn't know how Greg would react, she silenced him with two questions. "Don't you think YOU deserve to know? And don't you think you both deserve a chance to be happy?"

Nick laughed bitterly. "You expect me to admit to Greg that I am in love with him when I'm too much of a coward to even let him know I've been at the hospital every minute that I'm not at work? What if he's freaked out by it, Sara? What if I tell him and he's so disgusted that it destroys our friendship? What then? Damn, I don't even know if Greg is gay."

Sara leveled an incredulous stare at him across the table. "Nicholas Emerson Stokes," she exclaimed, "You can't be serious! This is Greg we're talking about. Even if he isn't interested in you like that, do you really believe he would allow it to affect your friendship? He is the sweetest, kindest, most open-minded, spiky haired lab rat I know," Sara smiled, hoping to restore some humor to the conversation.

"Seriously though, Nick, what does it say that you're in love with him but you're not willing to trust him with that information?"

Hearing the man in the hospital bed stirring brought Nick out of his reverie. "Now is the time, Stokes," he thought to himself. In the nearly four years that had passed since he came out to Sara, Nick had never found the courage to admit his feelings to Greg. He felt like he had come full circle now though, and he was finally ready to trust his heart to the badly beaten, yet still beautiful in his eyes, Greg Sanders.

Nick moved his chair forward to be closer to the bed, and to Greg. He leaned in and tenderly took Greg's bruised and battered hand in both of his, just holding it and taking comfort in the warmth.

"Nick, is that you," the injured man asked hopefully. His eyes remained swollen nearly shut, but his sense of smell still worked perfectly. He knew Nick had been there almost constantly since the attack, just as he had been there after the explosion. Greg knew he was sitting there, keeping silent watch over him but never revealing his presence.

"Yeah, Greggo, it's me. I just wanted to stop by and see how you're doing," Nick answered.

"Cut the crap, Stokes," Greg managed to say. He felt Nick starting to pull his hands away from him, but he was able to flex his fingers just enough to get Nick's attention causing him to stop his retreat. "I know you've been here for hours, Nick. Just like I know you were there with me before, after the explosion."

Nick bristled nervously, caught in his lie. "How did you know I was there, Greg," he asked, right away suspecting that his well-meaning best friend had broken the promise she had made him all those years ago.

"Don't blame Sara," Greg said quietly. "Don't try to deny it, Nick. I know that's what you're thinking. She never said anything to me; she didn't have to. I knew the smell of your cologne. I did it to Sara at the crime scene too, she came to be with me and I knew she was there even though I couldn't see her."

"Wow, I had no idea you knew I was there," Nick said, failing miserably to keep the emotion from his voice. "Umm, Greg…there's something I need to tell you, I've needed to tell you for a long time and I'd really appreciate it if you would just listen and let me finish before you say anything, ok?"

Greg felt his heart begin to pound even harder in his chest. It had always been hard for him to remain calm when he knew Nick was in the room, but he loved the closeness of him so much that he never let on that he was conscious. His heart had nearly left his chest as it was when he felt Nick take hold of his hand mere minutes ago and now, he had something difficult to tell him. Dare he hope to hear the words he'd dreamed of hearing since moving to Vegas seven years ago?

Nick took a deep, steadying breath and plunged right in, knowing himself well enough to know if he hesitated at all, he would lose his nerve. "You know all the talk about the women…about me being a ladies man, all my "glorious" conquests?" He waited briefly for a nod before continuing. "Lies, all of them are lies. I've never been with a woman, never wanted to be with one. I'm gay, Greg."

"I hope this isn't going to affect our friendship. I mean I know you're not like the kind of person to have a problem with me being gay, or anything. It's just that, well…umm, I've never actually been with a guy either. I've been waiting to find the right one and I think…no, I know I have found him."

Greg felt his heart sink and nausea at his own stupidity threatened to overtake his senses. He tried to pull his hand away from Nick's tender grasp and turn away but found himself unable to move as Nick gently held him in place to hear the rest of his confession.

Emotion constricting his throat, Nick found his voice again. "It's ok, Greg. I'll leave; I can tell you don't want me here."

"Nick…"

"I understand…you're probably disgusted by what I just told you and don't want me around you."

"Nick…"

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have laid this on you now, it was incredibly selfish of me."

"Nick…"

"No, Greg, It's fine. I don't blame you for being upset…"

"NICK! Would you do something for me, please before you go?"

"Sure, Greg, what do you need?"

"Would you please stop talking and kiss me?"

Nick gasped in disbelief, his heart suddenly soaring again, as he leaned down to very gently press his lips against Greg's. He pulled back at Greg's whimper; terrified that he'd hurt him. "Oh, God, Greg. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I tried to be careful."

Greg laughed softly, "No, it's not that, Nick. I've just been waiting so long for that I had stopped hoping it would happen some day. Now, will you please kiss me again so I can convince myself that I'm not dreaming?"

Nick leaned down again, pressing harder this time, teasing just a little bit, to let Greg know he wasn't dreaming. He reached up to tenderly caress the face of the man he had loved for so long, wondering if professing his love would be too much too soon, when he felt Greg break reluctantly from the kiss.

Greg strained to open his eyes, needing to see Nick's reaction to what he was about to say. "I love you, Nicky."

"I love you too, Greggo. I've been waiting for so long to tell you that. I'm so sorry for wasting so much time."

"I guess it's true what Papa Olaf always told me," Greg mused, feeling happier than he had ever felt in his entire life.

"What's that, Greg," Nick asked; overjoyed to have not only told Greg the truth but to find that he felt the same.

"Time really does heal all wounds."