Disclaimer: STILL own nothing.
Official memo:
What I do, or not do is none of your business. Or anyone else's for that matter. Why don't you just save yourself all this grief and turn yourself in. Who knows? Maybe I'll be lenient and let you stay on Kelownia, instead of Chulak, or Antarctica.
From the desk of General Jack O'Neill
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Well, Jack, do you think that threatening me would be wise? Considering that I know that you have that wedding picture from the alternate reality at your house. Whoops. Did I just type that on this page? Oh well, it would be prudent for you NOT to threaten me. Or some of your……darker, secrets will find a way to mysteriously appear on this memo board.
- Agent X
This goes for you too Colonel.
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Official memo:
Attention all personal,
General O'Neill has taken a few days off, for personal reasons. So all outgoing gate travel will be suspended, excusing a base emergency that is. All briefings will be rescheduled, and all report deadlines for the next few days will be pushed back. Thank you for reading this,
Sgt. Walter Harriman
PS. This goes for all betting pools as well. No one can make or collect any winnings or bets until the General gets back.
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THE GENERAL IS GONE!
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill was last seen exiting the SGC at 1330 hours last week. No one has seen him since. The rumor mill is buzzing. Add his leave with Colonel Carter's mysterious disappearance, and well, you can put two and two together. No one has seen either of the elusive couple all week. Although my sources tell me that they were spotted eating at a local restaurant just 2 days ago. No word yet on whether or not the ring that Colonel Carter was sporting 2 weeks ago was givin' to her by O'Neill. Will keep posting until this mystery is ended, or I am found out and shipped off to Chulak or Kelowna. Or, god forbid, ANTARCTICA.
Everyone's favorite,
Agent X
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Official memo:
Our personal lives are not under the microscope here. We have done nothing that would be breaking the regulations. You have no business to just post things that are our business and ours alone. If we ever find out who is doing this, then I will personally throw you through the stargate myself. Jack will help as well. If you stop now, then we'll forget this entire matter.
General Jack O'Neill and Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter
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So it's 'us' now. Wow. You guys really do hate what I'm doing. Well I did warn you so here are 2 deep dark secrets of Samantha Carter and Jack O'Neill.
Carter:
1. Is totally in love with General Jack O'Neill
2. Got stranded in Antarctica with the Genera (then a colonel) and god knows what happened then
O'Neill:
1. In the time loop he resigned and then made out with Colonel Carter right before the loop started again
2. Jack has a silver engagement ring with sapphires and diamonds in his locker here on base
Thank you for all of your support over the past few weeks. I could not have done this all without you. All of you people who have tons of money riding on Sam and Jack, I feel that something is going to happen pretty soon.
-Agent X
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Official memo:
It's none of your business! What we do in our personal lives are none of your business as we have not done anything wrong. Posting things based on opinions and speculations have only distracted personal from their jobs.
General Jack O'Neill and Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter
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Non-official memo:
General O'Neill and Colonel Carter,
We of the SGC have come to a conclusion that, for base morale, we should have a (sort of) company picnic for all personal and their families. We would also like to say that if anyone has any good ideas for activities, then they should write them down on the spaces provided. If all spaces are taken up, then you can submit your idea to Sgt. Siler.
Thank you for reading this,
The science and technology Departments
1. tug of war – Teal'c
2. paintball tag – Ferretti
3. capture the flag – Daniel
4. water balloon fight – Carter
5. obstacle coarse – Carter (handwritten) This is not boot camp Colonel!
6. giant inflatable slide – O'Neill For the kids of coarse, right General?
7. water involved activities – Teal'c
8. inflatable boxing ring – Siler
9. cake eating contest – O'Neill
10. some sort of contest and the prize is a date with the person of your choice and they can NOT refuse – Science and Technology Departments
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Official memo:
To all personal who have contributed to the list of activities, thank you. The date of the 'company' picnic for all personal and their families will be held on the 31st of June. That's in 3 weeks people! We will hold the picnic on P3X 754. The president has allowed me to grant clearance for everyone. Now all I need is everyone to submit the list of people coming, and I will get them clearance. Oh, and I need everyone to bring some food. The base cooks can't handle cooking for everyone everyday AND getting stuff prepared for the picnic. If at least 9 people volunteer willingly I will allow the S+T Department's request for an activity. But I will not choose the contest as I want to participate. Walter has taken on the tedious task of choosing a contest that will be fair to everyone. So, thank Walter if you see him. The activities will be as fallowed:
Tug of war (Teal'c you will NOT be allowed to compete!)
Paintball fight (NOT frozen)
Water balloon fight (women, you are urged to wear white t-shirts. KIDDING!)
Capture the flag (SG teams only)
Obstacle course (Carter, you win)
Cake eating contest (YUM!)
Inflatable boxing ring (WONDERFUL, NOW MY 2IC CAN KICK MY ASS YET AGAIN)
Then we shall have a Super Soaker fight! (YIPPIE!)
The S+T departments idea is still in the works
Thank you everyone who participated in the thinking up ideas for the picnic.
FROM THE DESK OF GENERAL JACK O'NEILL
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(4 hours later) OFFICAL MEMO:
Ok, now we have 23 people volunteered to cook for the picnic. Those people are:
-Janet Fraiser
-Daniel Jackson
-Teal'c
-Ferretti
-Dr.Lee
-Jonas Quinn
-Samantha Carter
-Cassandra Fraiser
-Jacob Carter/ Selmak
-George Hammond
-Hank Landry
-Cameron Mitchell
-Elizabeth Weir
-John Sheppard
-Tayla Emmagdan
-Vala Malderan
-Jack O'Neill
-Thor
-Loki
-Ry'ack
-Ishta
-Neissa
-Nieh
Note: Why do we have so many of our offworld allies helping us cook? What, Apophis can't come? (JOKING)
From the desk of a confused General Jack O'Neill
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This is the end of ch.2! There WILL BE MORE! I promise! I need another 2 chapters to adequately write about the picnic. I have just moved so I might be a little late on updating. Please try to be understanding. Oh, and please tell me who should end up being the mysterious Agent X (It was going to be Agent Smith but I decided against it). The most popular idea will end up on here when the poster is 'unmasked'.
Thank you again,
Amelia Jolinar Carter O'Neill