Chapter 23 - It's All Your Fault

Sam's eyes were still clenched shut 10 minutes later, trying to forget that his brother's body, without his head, was sitting merely meters from himself. He still clutched Dean's pendant close, and it was somewhat comforting to his tortured soul. Then something hit him harder than anything that this job had ever thrown at him…he was along now.

No mum, no dad, no brother…just him. It didn't take him long after to grasp the fact that the body wasn't going anywhere, and he couldn't keep his eyes closed forever. He took some deep breaths and then slowly opened his eyes. Tears threatened to slip down his cheeks but he pushed them away. Dean would want him to be happy, and to remember him. Not cry like a baby. Sam smiled slightly as memories of Dean's smart-ass comments came flooding back.

'Well it's not stupid. It picked the handsome one.'

Sam could clearly remember Dean saying that to him as they had tried to escape their bonds in that sick sewer, back when they had faced the shapeshifter. Everything had turned out fine, and they laughed at the memory.

'Correction,' thought Sam. 'Did laugh at the memory.'

He sighed. This wasn't easy. His hazel eyes finally rested completely on the body, and stayed there. As he stared sorrowfully at his brother, and the light tears came back, his gaze stopped on his brother's hand. Something bothered him…something was missing. It hit him…Dean's ring. Dean never really took off that ring, like he never took off his pendant. It was weird seeing him without it.

'The cheap bastards must've nicked it,' he muttered distastefully.

He continued staring at his brother's limp hand. Dean had nearly lost that hand to the same asshole that had killed him. The bandage that had been on it for support had long since fallen off…actually it had been off since Dean had turned evil with Katie.

Sam had seen the injury; it had left one hell of a scar. THE SCAR…Sam shot bolt upright, wiping the tears that had rolled down his cheeks away, his mouth agape with shock. The body didn't have a scar. It wasn't Dean. He had been right. Dean was alive!

'I KNOW YOU LIED TO ME!' yelled Sam as loud as he could. 'I HAVE PROOF! MY BROTHER IS ALIVE!'

'No he's not,' said Aaron, appearing in the room. Sam got off the bed, facing Aaron, the body behind him.

'Yes he is,' said Sam firmly. 'Coz when you tired cutting off his hand, you left one hell of a scar. And that body has no scar.'

'Samuel, you're hallucinating,' replied Aaron. 'There is clearly a scar on his wrist.'

Sam's smile faltered slightly, and a little bit scared, he turned to look at the body. A scar, exactly the same as Dean's, adorned the wrist.

'Dean is dead,' Aaron said nastily.

'No…NO!' said Sam disbelievingly. 'I SAW IT! YOU DID THAT! YOU JUST PUT IT THERE!'

'Like I said Samuel,' Aaron said smoothly. 'You're hallucinating. That drug we gave you was mixed with a hallucination drug.'

Sam shot an angered glare at Aaron.

'You did what!' he said, not believing his ears. 'Why would you do such a thing!'

'To drive you crazy,' hissed Aaron. He clicked his fingers and the body disappeared. 'Have fun alone Samuel.'

Aaron disappeared. Frustration shot through Sam and he angrily yanked at the shackle. To his surprise, the chain broke free from the bed. Almost immediately he rushed to the door, the chain rattling along with him. As he searched the door up and down, he realised that there was no door handle on his side.

'Dammit,' he muttered, kicking the door. There was nothing he could do, so he did what he did when he was frustrated. He paced.

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Pacing got old after the first couple of hours, so Sam finally flopped back onto the bed. Hey, at least he had done some exercise. The after-effects of the drug had finally worn off, and his body was feeling much better. The only thing that bothered him was that stupid dripping that still was echoing through his head. He couldn't stop thinking about his brother though. Something inside nagged him…he still felt whole. If Dean had died a part of him would be missing…he just wasn't sure.

As exhausted as he felt, the last thing he wanted to do was sleep. Who knows what they might do while he's so vulnerable. Boredom wasn't an issue; he had so many things to worry about. And still, that little voice in his head told him to relax, to sleep, that there was nothing he could do…

He jumped off the bed as the door opened and Aaron entered again.

'Back for more bitch?' asked Sam, almost mocking Aaron. Aaron just let a smile play across his lips, and revealed a syringe that he had held behind his back.

'You think you can get that into me?' asked Sam, standing at the ready.

'Of course I do,' laughed Aaron, and sent Sam flying through the air, holding him against the wall. 'You're too cocky for your own good.'

Sam struggled as much as he could, which wasn't much at all, as Aaron gripped his arm and inserted the syringe. The liquid slowly was pushed into his arm, and as the syringe was pulled out, Sam fell to the floor.

'What was that?' he gasped, his eyesight going slightly fuzzy.

'Oh, just a little hallucination drug,' grinned Aaron.

Sam sat there dazed, the cold stone wall behind him soothing his back.

'So really Sam, if you think about it, I might not even really be here. It could just be your imagination,' said Aaron.

'This is ridiculous,' Sam managed to gasp out. 'Of course you're really there.' His vision went blurry again. 'Aren't you?'

'That's the question,' sneered Aaron. 'You know, you're not very smart for a college boy. And you're not very smart for a "hunter"…You let you're Dad get dragged away and then shot. You watched you're brother's head get cut off. I'd say that you have a missing link somewhere in that head of yours.'

He grinned in delight as he saw Sam's discomfort. He had hit a sore spot, and he knew it.

'You're a let down,' he hissed. 'And because of you your mother perished…and so did you're beloved girlfriend. You're a danger to be around.'

'I didn't ask you to kill them,' Sam whispered.

'It's all you're fault!'

Sam scrunched his eyes shut, trying to block out this monster, and the wave of dizziness that had hit him. When he opened them and his eyesight came into focus, he moaned and clutched his head again. Aaron no longer stood before him; John, his own father did.

'Dad…' said Sam in disbelief. He was ready to explain…but he hoped he was dreaming.

'Don't even start Sam,' said John crisply, his voice tingling with rage. 'I didn't raise you like this! I raised you to kill that evil bastard, not get captured by him and getting your brother and I killed!'

'Please…'

'It's all you're fault Sam…you're a let down,' John said sternly. 'Because of you you're mother died, because of you Jess died…'

'It's just a dream…just a dream,' Sam said to himself, drawing his knees in and rocking slightly, hands over his ears. 'Just a dream.'

'IT'S ALL YOU'RE FAULT!' yelled John.

'Dad…stop! STOP IT!' screamed Sam. His watery eyes locked with his dads as John's image morphed into a more familiar one; Dean.

'Dean? Dean…help me, please,' moaned Sam.

'It's all you're fault Sam,' said Dean, his voice calm and even. 'You let them kill me. I protected you you're entire life…where were you when I needed protecting Sam? Why didn't you protect me?'

Sam sat shaking on the ground…he had to be dreaming…he had to be.

'ANSWER ME!' yelled Dean furiously, grabbing Sam and hauling him to his feet, before slamming him up against the wall.

'I…I'm sorry Dean,' Sam stammered, tears running down his face. 'I tried…I tried my hardest. I would have done anything to save you.'

Dean glared at him, eye to eye, before flinging him to the ground. Sam cowered slightly in the corner, Dean watching him stonily.

'Dean…I'm sorry,' whispered Sam as Dean turned to leave the room. Dean's head turned to face Sam, his voice back to that calm, even tone, as he began to fade.

'It's all you're fault.'

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Here's the latest. Sorry it took so long. Sadly, you've caught up to how much i've written, so daily updates is not something i can promise anymore. deepest apologies. it's just not as easy as it used to be.

anyway, i hope you enjoy this, thanks for reviews, they make my day.

Thanks to my beta Steff

R&R please!

Nikki