A/N: Right. Well I'm stuck with this story, as evidenced by the fact that this update sucks. Erm…I know it's bad policy to ask your reviewers what happens next in your story, but…if any of you have ideas or advice for this fic, feel free to email them to me. I have a general idea of where this is going, but I seem to be floundering a bit. Anyway, imput would be welcome. Reviews would be welcome.

On with the story…

Harry looked up into those hard black eyes and desperately sought for an answer that would soften them.

"I was worried about you."

They remained cold.

"Sev, if this was a bad idea, I'm sorry. But look, there's only so long I'm gonna sit upstairs like a good boy and worry about you."

And there it was again, very suddenly. That infinitely tired, infinitely frightening expression that Severus had worn once before in Harry's company. The one that told Harry exactly how little Severus had left to give, how close he was to falling apart entirely.

"It doesn't matter."

Harry raised a hand to touch his lover's face, gently. Something had happened. It was written here, behind the mask Severus always wore, but he couldn't get far enough in to read it. Severus's face was closed to him.

"Good. Because if you'd kicked me out, I'd have been up all night." He kept the fear and concern out of his voice, mostly, and he was counting on Severus being too tired to catch what he let slip.

"Undoubtedly."

Harry turned his head slightly, still inspecting Severus's face. It was still as tired, masked and cold as always.

And still as earth-shatteringly beautiful.

"What exactly are you looking at?"

The voice caught him off guard.

"You." Harry answered truthfully, and then blushed.

"And what have you learned from such intimate study?"

Again he answered without thinking. "That you're beautiful. And that I never want to let you go."

And then Severus did something strange. He shut his eyes, the lashes dark against his oh-so-white cheek, and shuddered, once. And then he raised his hand and brushed Harry's away from his face, before turning away.

"Well I'm afraid that, for tonight at least, you are obligated to do just that. You've seen that I'm still alive, so you'd best be off to bed."

Harry could not think of anything to say. Something was wrong.

"Severus…"

The man was beautiful enough to make his heart ache. Harry didn't know why this was hitting him so hard just now, but it seemed that every movement the older man made, every gesture, was done with a sinewy grace that defied description. Someone like this shouldn't have problems. They should be lying on cushions all day, being fed grapes by a hundred devoted servants.

And then, his back still to Harry, leaning against the wall with one arm, head down, Severus spoke again. Until this moment, Harry hadn't been entirely certain that he wasn't imagining things. But when Severus's voice, low and gravely, stretched to the breaking point, cut through the silence, he was sure.

"Can't you see that you're making it worse?"

The desperation in his lover's voice was unbearable. Harry stifled the urge to rush to his side, clamping his hands against the edge of the desk he was sitting on. He was somehow quite certain that he should not infringe on Severus's personal space just now, although he wanted very much to hold the older man. "Should I go, then? I will, if that's what you need." It cost him more than he expected to say it.

There was silence, and Harry braced himself to be told, for the second time that night, to go to bed like a good little child. But the words never came. Instead, in the same, gravely voice, Severus choked out, "no."

Harry clenched his hands again. Why, why, did Severus have to be so incredibly beautiful and so incredibly vulnerable? And so incredibly untouchable.

"I'll make you some tea, then." His voice was shaking, but he managed to stand up and walk to Severus's side, almost normally, and lead him lightly towards a chair. "You're bound to be tired, after a meeting."

He wasn't going to force Sev to talk (as if that were even possible, he thought ruefully.). If the older man needed to tell him what had happened, he would. Otherwise, Harry would just make tea. He focused his panicked thoughts on that. Tea.

Severus seemed to have composed himself.

"No more tired than you must be, having stayed up half the night worrying needlessly." There was an edge to his voice.

"Not needlessly." Harry corrected lightly. "If anything happens to you, I'll cheerfully jump off of the Astronomy Tower, so I've a right to worry."

Severus rewarded him with a dark look. "Don't be an idiot, Harry."

Harry shrugged, having conjured a steaming mug of tea. "Do you want sugar?"

"No." obviously still irritated, Severus summoned the tea directly out of Harry's hands, and sneered, tucking his wand out of sight again. "I happen to resent being offered tea in my own chambers."

"Sorry." Harry grinned sheepishly. "I didn't know what else to do, though."

"I suppose going to bed was out?"

Harry nodded. The vulnerable look had faded from Severus's face, but all was not well. There was still strain there.

"Well, perhaps simply being here is enough."

Harry looked up, surprised, wondering if he'd heard right. Severus didn't actually want him here…did he? But, from the vulnerable look in his lover's eyes, Severus needed him more than he wanted to admit.

And that scared Harry.

Instead of addressing the comment (Severus was already looking like he wished he could take back the words), Harry put down his tea and picked up his lover's hand, tracing circles on the back of it. Severus's hands were smooth, and very white, without any hair on the knuckles. Harry looked ruefully at his own clumsy, stubby fingers and wondered why Severus permitted him to run those hands over the older man's perfect body.

"Is it ok, this? Do you mind me touching you right now?"

He still didn't know. After being together for even the amount of time that they had been, he still didn't know much about Severus. He never knew if he was following the right track to being snogged senseless, or if he was about to be pushed away.

This time, though, Severus shook his head and tightened his hand almost imperceptively around Harry's own.

So, greatly daring, Harry moved around the table and sat down in his favorite place. Severus's lap.

"So this is better than tea, is it?" He ignored the slightly taken-aback look on his lover's face, relieved that he hadn't immediately been pushed away.

"Undoubtedly."

Long-fingered hands stroked his hair, tentatively, and Harry closed his eyes.

He wasn't an idiot. He knew that a good snogging wasn't going to fix anything. He knew that the problems would still be there when he opened his eyes. He knew that this wasn't going to do more than delay the moment of confrontation. He knew all that. Really. But he also knew that this was the only place that things ever felt right, and if he could still have this…well things couldn't be all that bad.

Unthinking, he tilted his face up, brought his lips forward for a kiss…and was gently but firmly rebuffed, as Severus moved his face to the side, gazing at the wall.

Harry felt his relief falter. Something was seriously amiss.

"Sev, what's up?"

Smoldering eyes met his own, but Severus didn't answer, except to pull him closer, pressing their bodies together. It wasn't so much a sexual embrace as a possessive, protective embrace, and it worried Harry. He didn't need protecting; not now. It was Severus who was acting strangely. It was Severus who he'd dearly love to protect, if only he knew how…

Harry looked deeply into those eyes, trying to communicate understanding and love, but receiving only a blank stare. Praying he was doing the right thing, he spoke softly, "What happened tonight?"

He felt Severus freeze beneath him, the thin arms around him locking in place. He ran his hands down them, trying to massage some life back into the muscles there, a bit frightened by this reaction.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to push you." He closed his eyes again, leaned his head against the scratchy fabric of his potion master's robe, and wound a lock of the smooth, black hair around his finger. "But see, I'm worried about you. You haven't a single person to talk to, and you're so closed up. If it's obvious even to me that something's wrong…" he let his voice trail off. There was a tightness to it that he didn't like, and he didn't relish the thought of sobbing into Severus' chest right now.

Grow up. He told himself fiercely.

Severus seemed to relax, very suddenly. Harry felt this very acutely, owing to the fact that their bodies were pressed tightly together. Every muscle in Severus's body seemed to melt against him. Harry kept his eyes closed, breathing in the distinct smell of his lover. Please, he pleaded desperately, don't let anything be seriously wrong. I'm just seventeen…I won't be able to do anything.

And then, with a tinge of resolve to his desperation, I'll help him. No matter what he needs.

"Harry."

He met dark eyes again, and was surprised to find them compassionate.

"Harry."

Cool, soft lips met his own, and Harry leaned into the kiss automatically, touching their tongues together. He was surprised by a jolt of desire that passed through him. He'd been feeling terrified a moment ago.

Severus pulled back from the kiss, looking amused. "You're an idiot."

"Right." Harry struggled to collect his thoughts. "Well that's not what I expected after being thoroughly kissed, but ok. I'll give you that."

"Brat." Severus nipped his ear affectionately. "You're meant to dispute the slur to your intelligence."

"Ya well." Harry laughed shakily. "Are you going to tell me what happened, or…" He trailed of, ending with a lame, "or not?"

"Not."

Harry nodded. "As long as you're alright. I mean, it'd be great if you told me stuff…" He looked hopefully at Severus. "But I don't know how likely that is."

Severus shook his head. "Not likely at all, I'm afraid."

Harry tried to be disappointed by this, but found himself too relieved by the sudden change in his lover. He dared to hope that he'd done something right.

And he had other things on his mind.

"So," he began brightly, "since me going to bed is about as likely as you telling me what happened tonight, what shall we do?"

He grinned and ran a hand over his professor's thigh, nuzzling his nose into the soft hair at the base of Severus's neck.

His hand was caught in an iron grasp, and he grinned into burning eyes.

The silky voice, as always, made him shiver.

"I'm sure I can think of something."

A/N: Ok…so there was originally supposed to be smut in this chapter, and I DID write it in. But it REALLY didn't fit, and it just wasn't right for the moment. So I had to take it out. Sorry, but that's how it is. Take it or leave it, but I'm still the author, and I'm still the one who gets to decide these things. :-)

However, I can't decide; for the next chapter, should I pick up where we left off, or should I start somewhere new? Ask and you shall receive, and all that.