Author's Note: Big thanks to everyone who reviewed! You guys are awesome!

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

Sasuke turned around, glaring at Shikamaru.

"Stop following me," he ordered. "I barely know you."

"Look," Shikamaru sighed. He gritted his teeth, mentally cursing himself. "I…need your advice."

The Uchiha raised one eyebrow.

"Why?" he asked suspiciously. "If you're trying to change your hairstyle again, I've already told you—"

"No, I'm not talking about that!" Shikamaru interrupted, exasperated. He grabbed Sasuke's shoulders and shook him. "I know about a lot of things. A lot of things. But…there is something that I really don't know much about."

He took a deep breath. This was painful.

"…I don't know anything about women."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"Let go of me before I use my Sharingan on you."

Shikamaru, seeing the tomoe in Sasuke's eyes, quickly released him.

The Uchiha immediately stepped back and brushed off his shoulders.

"Why are you asking me?"

Shikamaru ground his teeth. "Back at the academy, you had a lot of females after you, and somehow you kept them away…so maybe…you could give me some advice…?"

Sasuke, smirking, leaned against the side of the bridge, as the wind blew dramatically through his raven hair. He stared unnervingly at Shikamaru with his dark, mysterious Uchiha eyes, glimmering like bright pools of obsidian—

"Oh, stop that!" Shikamaru shouted. He threw his hands up in the air. "For the love of god! Can't you have a normal conversation without looking so damn cool for once?"

Sasuke turned his head, sniffing disdainfully.

"I," he said, pausing dramatically, "am an Uchiha. That is our way."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Oh please.

"So how do I keep Temari away?" Shikamaru asked impatiently.

Sasuke was silent for several moments, brooding, his face impassive. After a few minutes, Shikamaru noisily cleared his throat. Sasuke looked up.

"Well…?"

"You aren't an Uchiha. You lack the ability to do such a thing." Sasuke said matter-of-factly. "We draw in women with our angsty dispositions and attractive looks, then keep them away using our natural aura of intimidation." He shook his head darkly. "Even Itachi has that ability…How he exploits it…"

Shikamaru turned away, grumbling. "You Uchihas are so annoying."

Suddenly, his face lit up as it hit him.

"That's it!"

With that, he took off running.

"Thanks, Uchiha!"

"Hn." Sasuke posed coolly against the bridge, the breeze running through his hair. All of a sudden, the bridge's railing refused to support his weight any longer and broke off the bridge. With a loud, audible splash, the Uchiha plummeted into the stream.

As Sasuke resurfaced, he could hear Itachi's voice taunting him in his head.

Foolish little brother—

"Oh shut up!" Sasuke shouted. "I'm cold and I'm wet and I don't have time to listen to one of your damn speeches!"

Well fine then, Itachi's voice said, hurt. I'm leaving. You're no fun.

"GO!"

Temari looked up as the jingling of the door signified the arrival of another guest.

Oh, god, no…she thought, her eyes widening at the sight of the newcomer. Please don't let that be him.

Oh, but it was. The dark-haired man began walking over to her, his hands shoved in his pockets and his face impassive.

Temari swore under her breath, then abruptly looked up.

"H-hi, Shikamaru…?"

The boy sat down across from her, without a word. His hair was hanging around his face, free of his typical ponytail. He was wearing a navy blue shirt with a ridiculously high collar, a large deer printed on the back.

Temari was inwardly restraining herself from leaping out the window and making a beeline right back to Suna. But of course, they would probably send her back.

She breathed in deeply and assumed a fake smile. "How are you tonight?"

Shikamaru looked away broodingly, folding his hands in front of his face.

For several moments, it was silent, aside from the clinking of silverware from over tables.

"Hn," Shikamaru said finally.

Temari suddenly felt a headache coming on. It was going to be a long night.

Kankuro was lying sprawled over the sofa, a line of drool coursing down his chin. The TV was still on, casting its bluish light over the Sand nin's motionless body.

"WAKE UP!"

Kankuro didn't respond.

"WAAAAAKE UUUUP!"

Temari screamed at her brother, violently shaking his shoulders.

"Five more minutes," he mumbled, turning away.

"NO!"

Kankuro suddenly found himself sprawled on the ground, tangled in his blankets. He let out a shout of pain as his head collided with the coffee table.

"You're a bitch," he growled, rubbing his head. He certainly looked like a mess. His purple facial paint was smeared all over his face, hair sticking up at odd angles.

"I have a right to be a bitch, Kankuro," Temari snapped.

"Uh-oh," her brother remarked as he stood up. "What did Shikamaru do this time?"

"Today he went all psychotic on me," she said, sinking into the sofa. "He thinks he's an avenger."

"Like that other kid? What's his name?" Kankuro frowned, as he tried to remember the name. "Sasuke or something like that?"

"A thousand times worse," Temari shook her head. "At least that other kid has the whole angsty-brooding-attractive thing going for him." She turned towards her brother. "Shikamaru and angst DO NOT mix, Kankuro. It's horrifying."

Images of Shikamaru's deer shirt flashed through her mind.

Temari pulled in her knees, hugging herself. "I can never eat venison again."

"Sounds like he has more mood swings than you do during that special time of month," her brother remarked.

Temari glared at Kankuro.

"I do not have mood swings."

"Uh…yeah, you kind of do."

"Take that back or you'll never see Karasu again."

"You wouldn't."

"You know your old stuffed bear, Moki?" Temari grinned evilly. "Ever wonder where he went?"

"No!" Kankuro gasped. "You didn't!"

His sister smirked. "Oh yes."

Kankuro stared at her, his eyes wide. "I was right, you are a bitch."

In response, Temari smacked him upside the head.

"So what are you going to order?" Temari asked lightly, picking up her menu.

Shikamaru glanced at the list of menu items.

"Eh."

Temari ended up ordering for her fiancée. A few moments later, a waiter with a mousy-looking toupee came by, carrying a large tray of many sweet-smelling dishes.

Shikamaru stared disdainfully at the plate of meat set before him.

"Is there something wrong, Shikamaru?" Temari asked, after taking a bite of fish.

He didn't answer. Instead he mechanically picked up a pair of chopsticks and extracted a small sliver of meat off his plate. Almost immediately after he put the food in his mouth, Shikamaru spat it back out. It landed with an unappetizing plop on Temari's plate.

"Foolish dish of beef," he hissed at the plate. "You lack…seasoning!"

Temari watched in horror as Shikamaru picked up a large knife. It glinted dangerously in the light.

"What are you…"

With a loud squelch, the knife was driven through the plate. Rice and meat went flying everywhere.

Temari, along with the other guests, gaped at him in shock.

"Wh-what?"

"I…am an avenger," Shikamaru stated calmly.

Temari forced herself to blink.

"I'm…happy for you…?" Temari said, struggling to keep her voice pleasant. "That's…wonderful."

All of a sudden, Shikamaru leaped over the table and landed at another. Bowls of food were soon airborne, showering over the other patrons. The guests sitting around the table that Shikamaru now sat upon stared up at him in fright.

"Ramen!" Naruto, who had been passing by outside, suddenly vaulted through the open restaurant window and caught the bowl before it shattered against the ground. He cradled it tenderly in his arms.

"It has beef!" he exclaimed delightedly.

Shikamaru pointed at one of the plates of food.

"This has more seasoning than mine did!" he shouted.

Temari surreptitiously slid down her seat.

Shikamaru pointed at one of the frightened guests. "You! You received more seasoning then I did!" He pushed up his sleeves. "We will fight, right here, right now! I will avenge my lack of a satisfactory meal!"

Temari turned away and tried to salvage what was left of her food. Unfortunately, most of it was currently decorating the floor.

"Here's your bill," a disgruntled waiter hissed, slapping down the piece of paper. "After you pay, you and your boyfriend will get out of here before we call the police."

Her eyes widened as she saw the piece of paper.

"WHAT?!"

Shikamaru was on his way home. After he and Temari had been kicked out of the restaurant, she had bid him good night and they parted ways. He walked slowly, head tilted to the stars.

"That's not how we Uchihas act."

He turned around, finding himself face to face with Sasuke.

"I saw you in that restaurant. That's not how we act."

Shikamaru sighed. "Well, I might have exaggerated a bit, but for the most part…yeah, that's how you Uchihas act."

"No," Sasuke insisted. "We have a mysterious, attractive quality that no one can replicate. You did the part no justice."

"All right," Shikamaru said, rolling his eyes.

Sasuke stared at him angrily. "You aren't a very good actor."

Shikamaru let out a heavy sigh. "I suppose you're right." He let out a bitter laugh. "Temari complimented me. She told me that she'll support me, no matter what I decide to avenge. And she wished me a good night." He shook his head. "I think she wants to get married."

Sasuke looked away.

He exhaled noisily. "How troublesome."

The Uchiha was silent yet again. He was thinking.

"Are you sure it isn't that time of month?"

A/N: Hope you liked it. Please review!

Next chapter coming soon!