Author's Note: A big thank you to everyone who reviewed! I really appreciate it, seriously. Thank you so much!
And another thank you to the C2, The Dragon's Picks, for adding Misconceptions!
There may be a two day's delay before the finale--the last wedding chapter (two chapter finale!)--as I repeatedly check over it to make sure things end all right. But this fic will be finished before next Monday, I promise you.
And now on to the next chapter!
Bright sunlight was congregated around the cracks in the blinds, pushing thin sheets of light into the small bedroom. The morning light was on Temari's face, outlining her face in a golden glow.
She mumbled incoherently and turned away from the gentle rays. She pulled the covers up to her chin, wrapping herself in a warm cocoon.
Wearily, Temari opened her eyes. Her eyes went wide as she found herself staring into the face of none other than Nara Shikamaru. He gave her a lazy smile.
"Hey…honey."
Temari screamed.
Temari abruptly sat up in her bed, breathing heavily. It was still dark outside. She checked the alarm clock. 6:00 am.
"It was only a dream," she assured herself. "Only…a…dream."
She took a couple of deep breaths. A glass of water would calm her nerves. Shaking, Temari planted her feet on the floor and ambled to the door. She carefully made her way to the kitchen, taking unsteady, small steps.
Temari rummaged through the cupboards, searching for a glass. She rolled her eyes, exasperated. Kankuro had rearranged all of their glassware again. It was the third time this week.
"I swear," Temari grumbled, finally locating a drinking glass, "he has some kind of a fetish."
"Hey."
Temari froze. The glass dropped to the floor, shattering into a thousand pieces.
Shikamaru was sitting nonchalantly at the kitchen table. Kankuro was seated beside him, frowning at the glass shards littering the tiled floor.
Temari gaped at them. It was six in the morning. Why the hell was Shikamaru in her kitchen?
"Ah…" Kankuro tilted his head thoughtfully. "Nice pajamas, sis."
Shikamaru's face was expressionless.
Temari's eyes went wide. She was wearing her favorite pajamas, complete sand gourds and tiny raccoons printed all over the fabric. The flannel was worn down, leaving the cloth rough and shabby. And they were much too short—the pant legs came mid-calf. They had been her favorite since she was fourteen, after all.
Shikamaru was staring at her, his eyebrows raised. She felt her face go hot.
She was going to kill Kankuro.
"Uh…hi, Shikamaru," she said, struggling to keep her voice pleasant. In truth, she felt like leaping forward and beating them both unconscious with her fan. "I'm…uh, going to go change now." With that, she darted out of the kitchen.
Kankuro turned to Shikamaru, clucking his tongue.
"See, what'd I tell you?" he said, shaking his head. "She's so head over heels for you, she's nervous to be in your presence."
Shikamaru put his face in his hands. "This is just so troublesome."
Temari cupped her hands around the steaming mug of coffee, lifting her gaze to Shikamaru's face. He held a slightly-nibbled piece of toast in his right palm, regarding it with a bored expression. He sighed.
"There isn't enough butter," he remarked. "Troublesome service."
Temari gazed at her coffee, watching wisps of heat escaping into the air. They were the only customers in the small diner. She could feel the disapproving glare of the waitress, who was irritated due to Shikamaru's criticism, pounding into the back of her head.
"So, Shikamaru," she said, bringing the mug to her lips. "What exactly did you want to talk about?"
Shikamaru took a deep breath.
"Well," he started, "I just wanted to discuss…our children."
Temari nearly spat out her coffee. She began coughing, choking on the scalding liquid. It burned her throat.
"What?"
Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," Kankuro grumbled, shuffling to the door. It was still dark out. "Keep your shirt on, buddy."
He flung open the door, ending the rhythmic thumping on the wood. There stood Shikamaru. He wore an exhausted expression upon his face.
"Kankuro," he said urgently, "I'm glad you answered the door."
The Sand nin raised his eyebrows.
"What are you doing here?" he hissed. "It's five-thirty in the morning, idiot."
"I know," Shikamaru answered apologetically. "But I need to ask you…for advice." He gulped softly, lowering his voice. "About Temari."
Kankuro broke into a wide grin.
"Why didn't you say so?" he said, stepping aside. "Come on in."
Shikamaru sat across from Kankuro, drumming his fingers on the kitchen table.
I have to word this carefully, Shikamaru thought to himself. Temari is dead set on marrying me, so I'm sure she's convinced her brother to support the wedding.
"So…" Shikamaru said cautiously. "I just wanted to know what not to do on a date with Temari…" He paused, crossing his arms. "…er, just so I don't…offend her or anything." He gulped. Kankuro noted his nervousness, his apprehension. Something wasn't quite right.
Something clicked in Kankuro's mind. Ah, I see, he thought, smirking faintly. So that's how it is.
This will be interesting.
"Well," he said dramatically. "You may not know this, but Temari is painfully shy." He shook his head. "So, close contact usually does the trick."
"Close…contact?"
"Ask her personal questions…especially about your marriage," Kankuro said, lacing his fingers together. "Get really close to her." He clucked his tongue. "I swear, she's about as shy as that Hyuuga girl when it comes to intimacy."
Shikamaru made a mental note to himself. "I see."
Kankuro nodded. "You're a good kid," he said approvingly. "So, are you looking forward to the wedding?"
Shikamaru's calm disposition faltered a bit. He stuttered. "Uh…yes. Yes, I am."
The puppet master smirked knowingly. I bet you are.
Instead, he said aloud, "Weren't you two pretty close friends a few years ago? When Temari was the liason between our villages?"
"Yes, but then—"
At that moment, Temari shuffled into the kitchen. She looked half-dead. Her blonde hair was sticking up all over her head. Kankuro held back a laugh. She was wearing the raccoon pajamas.
Shikamaru tilted his head to the side, looking thoughtful.
"Hey."
Temari looked at him, aghast. "Our children?" Her face was flushed deep vermillion.
Kankuro was right, Shikamaru thought calmly. She is painfully shy. She can hardly speak.
"Yes," he stated, as if bringing up child-bearing at six-thirty in the morning was the most normal thing to do. "How many do you want to have?"
"I-I-I…" Temari was extremely flustered. He wants to think about that already?
"I'm not sure," she said in a high-pitched, strangled voice. "We'll…we'll see…"
Shikamaru inched closer to her. Temari's eyes went wide as he took her hand.
"I was thinking nine," he said in a low voice.
The door swung open. In walked a slightly disheveled Shikamaru, his ANBU mask hanging off his shoulder.
"Where were you?" Temari snapped, cradling two crying bundles in her arms. Two infants tugged at her ankles, screaming for attention. Behind her, there was a neat row of five cradles occupied by shrieking newborns. "I thought you were going to be home earlier!"
Shikamaru shrugged. "I was watching the clouds."
"I just gave birth…again…three days ago! To QUINTUPLETS!" she shouted at him. The children's crying was steadily rising to a crescendo. "I HELP, you lazy son of a bitch!"
Her husband sighed. "You are just so troublesome. I'm going to Chouji's house." With that, he left the room, leaving Temari with nine howling young children.
As she snapped back to reality, Temari made a choking sound in her throat and abruptly tore out of the diner. "Sorry-I-have-to-train," she mumbled over her shoulder, as she disappeared out the door.
Shikamaru shrugged, turning back to his toast. The waitress was staring at him.
"You…you creep," she said in disgust, slapping down the bill.
Temari briskly ran into the apartment, breathing heavily.
Kankuro looked up from the newspaper.
"Temari," he said. "Your face is all pale. What happened?"
"I don't want to procreate with him," she said in a haunted tone. She grabbed her brother by the shoulders and began to shake him. "I don't want to have children with HIM!"
She took off to her room, slamming the door behind her.
Kankuro raised his eyebrows.
"What was that all about?"