Title: Late Night Musings
Disclaimer: No infringement intended, The Office doesn't belong to me, otherwise- naw, I won't even go into it.
Summary: Michael in his typical fashion, tries to cheer Pam up.
Spoilers: Phyllis' Wedding.
A.N.: I just want to thank every people who has reviewed for this story. sERIOUSLY. I would bake you a chocolate cake with vanilla frosting if I could, but I am a student of limited funds and ironically can't cook.
CLARIFICATION: g-d, - is the same as o. Understand?
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When Pam was seven years old her best friend, Martha, told her a very interesting bit of information that she had promptly forgotten about until just right now. Sitting in a stall of the ladies room, listening to it seemed like every woman in the office offering comfort, words of advice, or unanswerable questions, Pam wished she's had enough foresight to leave the building, instead of jumping into the bathroom. Still, the advice at hand, ("Pam, if you don't want to do something, just pretend you have a stomach ache. Because no one can feel what you do, so they won't know you're fibbing").
For a brief moment she considered it, considered opening up the stall door, passing the hordes of woman, grabbing her purse, and then, what? She didn't have her car, that was at a church. She didn't even have a freakin' jacket! And it was way too cold to just walk out in her blue t-shirt. Her inside-out blue t-shirt. Oh g-d, Pam thought miserably, This is just too much. I can't believe I was walking around like this all day. And the entire office saw this? I look like I really did sleep with Roy last night. The tears came back with renewed strength, and Pam realized belatedly that all the toilet paper was gone.
She wanted to throw something, take all these feelings of rage and feeling of helplessness and just chuck them at something.
Just then the bathroom door opened and she heard Dwight's voice.
"Michael requests Pam's presence in the Conference room." Aw, he's using his clear and authoritative voice. Too bad I'm not moving, Pam thought.
"Dwight, Pam is in no condition for Michael's shenanigan's." Angela said quietly but in the same tone of voice. What, Angela's standing up to me? Against Dwight?
"But Michael said-"
"Now is not the time."
"He feels that it would make Pam feel better."
HA!
"Dwight." Longing at clear as day was there. She wanted to agree with him, but she couldn't.
"Angela." They matched, the pitches. Neither wanted this fight, but Pam was causing it.
Pam all of a sudden felt well, bad, to pit them against each other. Unintentionally, but they were. She was causing so many lately, and no doubt other fights would span from the one this morning. She couldn't handle the guilt. So, against Pam's better judgement, she spoke.
"Dwight, just give me a minute, ok? I'll be right out."
"Thank you Pam." Dwight's voice sounded more than relieved, but Pam couldn't really focus on that. She was too worried about what Michael had planned.
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Everyone was sitting uncomfortably in the conference room, trying not stare at Michael and what he was wearing. Or the lack of it.
All heads turned to the door when they heard footsteps coming, only to turn away again when they saw Angela come in and sit down in the last seat in the front. Minutes passed in uncomfortable silence and Michael, who loved to take a silence and kick it up a notch, made a joke.
"Geez, Pam's taking forever. Let's hope she's not stuck in the toilet." By the look of stunned silence that followed that remark, Michael tried to explain how the joke could make sense. "Because woman have to sit down when they-" Michael's explanation of that joke was put on hold, as Pam entered the room, making for the chair in the back that Toby had thankfully saved for her. "Ah Pamela, I'd like you to sit up here." Hearing a tapping sound that could only be Michael banging on a chair he was close to, like standing next to close, Pam stopped in her tracks. Turning around slowly, Pam tried to summon some of Jim's quick thinking and made sure not to actually look at Michael..
"Michael I'd really rather..."
"Pam, this is for your benefit. So come up here, sit down, and benefit. From this." It was at such odd times that Michael acted like he was a boss, Pam always found herself shocked into agreeing with him. Like right now. She watched herself walk up to the chair, turn around, and sit in it. It was only then that Pam saw how Michael had tapped on the chair.
With a cane.
Against her will, her eyes traveled along Michael's frameand her heart stopped.
Michael was dressed as a male stripper.
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"Now Pam, we understand that you've just re-broken up with Roy, and I understand that right now you may be hurting, so I wanted to do something for you that would boost your morale." Michael's eyes didn't stray from Toby's when he said that, but Pam wasn't really focusing on that. She was focusing on Michael's outfit: Much too tight black pants, shiny shoes, no shirt, cuff links, a top hat, a cane, but most importantly, a bowtie collar. Please g-d, I know I haven't exactly been to church in a few years, but I am begging you, please don't let Michael do what I think he's about to do.
"And as I was sitting in my office, I was wondering what always cheered me up after I got dumped- well, broke up- well, I broke up with her, she was an idiot, and didn't think I was all that funny- I went out to strip clubs. And let me tell you, I know a lot about stripping." There was a pause in which he obviously expected chuckles, but when stunned, horrified looks were the only thing forthcoming, Michael continued, "So Pam," Michael turned to stand in front of her, and Pam's face turned to a mask of fear and dread, "this is for you kid." His head flicked to the left and she noticed Dwight get up and turn on a stereo, immediately releasing You spin me right round by Billy Idol from the speakers. Michael very deftly used his cane to spin the chair around once, his leg catching the arm as it spun a full circle. Her stomach clenched as he pulled the chair closer to him and her eyes flitted around the room, trying to make someone stop this. Where was Toby's placid arguments? Stanley's monotone complaints? Angela's prude behavior? Why Michael ripping off those pants? Dear g-d, why? Mentally going off every person in the office (Where was Karen?) and how she was going to kill each of them, trying to very hard to look anywhere but Michael's gyrating hips, it took until the second loud ring that Pam noticed the fire alarm had gone off.
She looked up at Michael, and her breath all came out in one short gasp as he leaned in so close they were practically touching. His breathe was hot on her face, and for one horrid moment Pam thought he might try to kiss her until another alarm blared and Michael moved away from her as if he'd just been told she had leprosy. He ran into Toby in his dash to the door, and Pam was so thankful for her bubble to be firmly back in place, she didn't notice that she was the only one left in the room.
Sighing, Pam stood up, vowing to never agin come to work when her morning so suggested otherwise. Closing the door to the conference room, Pam wondered if g-d really had heard her prayers and made Ryan create another fire when she caught sight of a tall dark-brown-curlyish haired male picking up his Ipod. And she realized that the only possible reason Jim would be as stupid to go back to grab his Ipod when there was a threat of a fire, was If there wasn't one.
"Hey."
"Oh, Hi. I was just grabbing some music. I have a feeling we're going to be stuck down there for a while."
"Think I have enough time to grab a cup of coffee before the building goes up in flames?" Her voice came out so much lighter than she expected, and wondered how Jim has that effect on her. How he can make her feel so much better without even trying. Or worse.
"I wouldn't risk it."
"Oh."
"But I feel a hankering for Denny's coffee. And I have a feeling you do too." He's looking at her t-shirt and she laughed, because it was a lot easier than crying. It was still inside-out. How had she managed not to fix it thus far into her day?
"In my defense, I've had the history's worst morning. And that was before I got to the office."
"So tell me about it."
"Really?" It's so odd, how friendly he's being after months of nothing, that she's getting flustered by the attention.
"Definitely."
"Ok." She grabbed her purse from its usual spot and when she turned around he's standing there, waiting for her, and in spite of this entire morning, she smiled. It was comforting to know that she doesn't even have to look up to know he's smiling back. But she did anyway.
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