Rose shook her head at the antics of the Doctor. He was so childish. Quickly, she expertly paddled to the shore and grounded their canoe on the bank before hopping out and running down the riverside to where Jack was coughing on the floor. He had rolled onto his back and sat up as she reached him.
"You ok?" she asked, concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine, told you I could swim," Jack replied, proudly.
"Could've fooled me. You look half drowned, and look at your hair," Rose laughed, ruffling his dark spikes that were drenched in water.
"Hey, what's wrong with my hair?!" Jack yelped, touching it tentatively.
"Nothing," Rose suppressed a giggle at his frantic look, "I better go see what the monkey is up too."
"The monkey?"
"The Doctor," Rose explained.
"Nah, I prefer your name. That's what I'll call him from now on…The Monkey," the man grinned.
"I wouldn't, he'll take it as a personal insult."
"It is a personal insult, it'll teach him to call us apes," the ex conman smirked wickedly.
"On your head be it," the young woman shrugged just as Debs and Lucy joined them. She set off further down the shore to where the Doctor was swinging lazily from the branch with one arm, the other dangling in the water feeling the cool liquid over his fingers.
As she drew closer Rose noticed something that made her stop short. Washed up beside her on the bank was a bright orange object. Shorts. Rose's head snapped up and she looked more closely at the Time Lord. He had no shorts on! He was in his boxers! She gasped and blushed, feeling embarrassed for just looking at the Doctor half dressed. She felt like a little kid again with a crush on some boy at the swimming pool.
The Doctor looked up as he heard the sharp intake of breath and grinned manically at Rose.
"Hey! Is this where we are stopping for a picnic cos I'm kinda hungry?"
"Er…yeah I guess…but…um…Doctor?"
"Yes, spit it out," the Time Lord smiled, "And what you gawking for?"
"You have like…" Rose struggled to keep a straight face, "No shorts on."
"Oh," the Doctor looked down and flushed crimson. His ears got a bright red tinge and his cheeks glowed. Rose couldn't help but burst out laughing, "I was wondering why it was a bit airy down below."
"Ergh! Too much information," Rose cringed and shook her head incredulously, "So, you gonna get down from there?"
"I suppose, could you perhaps get my shorts?" the Doctor asked as he catapulted off the branch and onto solid ground.
"Here."
"I told you they were too big," the Time Lord muttered.
"Yeah, I know," Rose handed over the fluorescent shorts and the Doctor quickly pulled them on.
"Hey, the Monkey, told you we should have gone left!" Jack yelled as he approached with the two other females, Debs holding a picnic bag.
"Did I hear that right? Did he just call me 'The Monkey'?" the Doctor frowned.
"Yeah," Rose smiled.
"Right, you're for it Harkness!"
The Doctor dropped down on the chequered picnic rug after chasing Jack for the last ten minutes non-stop. Rose didn't know where they found the energy. She was exhausted and could happily sunbathe on the grass for several more hours without moving an inch. The Doctor had finally given up as his stomach gave a loud rumble and he realised how starving he was.
Debs was unpacking sandwiches from bags and handing them round.
"Who's for cheese?" she asked the group.
"Ooh, me!" the Doctor raised a hand in the air and waved it wildly.
"Ok," Debs raised an eyebrow but handed him the sandwich.
"I love cheese, it's just the best," he bit into the bread and savoured the taste in his mouth.
"Oh no, please don't tell me you just gave him cheese," Rose's eyes widened in horror.
"Yeah, why?"
"He goes totally hyper, not just a bit hyper but bouncing off the walls hyper and talking at like a hundred times the normal rate! Which is quite a feat considering how fast he speaks anyway!" Rose gulped and looked at the Time Lord who was grinning like a loon, "God, it's started." The Doctor began bouncing up and down on the spot and all his limbs twitched.
"Ok, that's freaky," Lucy commented as she chewed her ham sandwich.
"Banana, banana, banana, banana, banana!" the Doctor hiccupped.
"Uh oh," Jack eyed the Time Lord warily from where he was digging into some crisps.
"Banana, banana, banana!"
"Give him the damn banana!" Jack grabbed the picnic bag and tossed the hyper alien the yellow fruit. His eyes lit up with glee and he made fast work of peeling it.
"Banana! I like bananas, bananas are good," the Doctor chirped. Once he'd finished the food he leapt to his feet and dashed off running round in circles round the sitting group, "Whoop! Whoop! Yay! Cheese! Banana! Monkey! Kettle! Spoon!"
"Kettle?" Debs repeated, frowning and looking at Rose who just shrugged in reply.
"I told you he goes totally loopy when you give him cheese."
"Yeah, I've learnt now thanks. Now how do you calm him down?"
"I'm going skinny dipping!" came the sudden announcement.
"What?!" Debs, Lucy and Rose yelped.
"Its like he's drunk," Jack sniggered.
"Anyone wanna come with me?!" the Doctor tugged off his t-shirt.
"Sure," Jack stood.
"There's no way you're going skinny dipping with my daughter here!" Debs shouted, warningly.
"I don't think you're gonna stop them!" Rose replied as the Doctor boldly pulled his shorts off.
"Christ!" Debs grabbed Lucy's head and turned it away just as the alien dropped his shorts. Rose gaped, her eyes huge and unbelieving.
"Come on, Doc!" Jack ran towards the river and dive-bombed in followed closely by the Time Lord. The two disappeared underwater and then began splashing each other.
Rose, who'd finally closed her jaws and blinked, noticed the men's abandoned clothes on the floor and an evil scheme formed in her mind. She darted forwards and scooped up the bundle. Debs gave her a questioning look and she grinned in return. Lucy, who'd now been allowed to look as the men were screened by the water, also looked quizzical.
"I'm gonna hide them," Rose explained and disappeared off into the nearby bushes, "And us, lets go."
Ten minutes later when the effects of the cheese had worn off the Doctor and he found the water was absolutely freezing, he turned back to shore only to find the others had gone. He paddled over to the bank and leapt out feeling slightly vulnerable with no clothes on and Jack just behind him.
"Hey, Doc, have I ever told you what a nice…?"
"Don't!" the Doctor cut him off, "Our clothes are gone!"
"Ah well, I quite like the breeze," Jack announced, shaking himself dry like a dog.
"Well I don't," the Time Lord replied, not wanting to turn round and see Jack, "How could they take out clothes?"
"Easy, they just picked them up and ran off."
"Don't be smart. I'm the genius here."
"Well you're the one who asked the dumb question."
Ok, that was very random! Ah well! Did you like it? Have a, a...cheese sandwich if you review!