Woot! Chapter 6! There is a special message on my Profile page for everyone who reads, if you are interested. It should be the first thing at the top. I paid a little more attention to the quality and I hope this makes up for chapter 5. Enjoy!
Title: Random Bits 12 - Chapter 6
Setting: Yuna's Guardians are escorting her back from a visit to Macalania Temple (in Macalania if you couldn't guess). Rest is in sight as Yuna, Party of Seven, crowd into the Travel Agency.
Moonflow- South Warf- Shoopuff Ferry- Noon. Our heroes are disembarking from the ferry minus one member.
Kimahri sagged with relief as soon as Yuna's feet touched the platform. He was always nervous about Shoopuff rides, not because of the water, but because Yuna had jumped off into the water when she was younger. Yes, she had a mischievous streak and Tidus tended to exacerbate it. So, just to be on the safe side he had securely bound his young charge with a few spare belts off Lulu's dress and chucked Tidus into the Moonflow when he suggested that swimming with the Shoopuff would be fun. Of course Yuna had been upset, but with her new Safety Belts securely buckled, all she could do was watch the scenery and tell Kimahri he had 'not been very nice.'
After unloading and giving Lulu back her belts, the party headed for the Item Shop to pick up a few things. Moments later Tidus did a wonderful impression of a leaping trout and landed with a soggy splat on the dock. As he dragged himself onto dry land beside the enormous pachyderm-like beast, something interesting caught his eye…
Yuna and Company were well on their way down South Bank Road when Lulu noticed something was amiss. She paused and spoke two words that sent the chill breath of panic racing down everyone's spines,
'Where's Tidus?" There was a synchronized group turn as the Guardians rushed back to the wharf. Their biggest concern was that Tidus was talking to some one, which was no big deal in itself. (Except Yuna, who was actually concerned about his wellbeing.)
It was when conversation went from, 'Hi, my name is Tidus' to 'I'm from Zanarkand, a thousand years ago.'…'My father was Sin,'… 'I was dreamed up by the Fayth,'… 'Look what I can do,' that things got scary.
Reaching the ferry grounds everyone immediately fanned out in search of Yuna's wayward Guardian, except Auron. Yuna had insisted that he stay at the 'meet up point'. The reason she gave him was that his bright red coat would be easiest to spot. Auron knew that if she really wanted someone easy to spot, she would have chosen Wakka, whose glaringly bright yellow uniform and quail-like hairdo would stand out in an exploded caution tape factory. He had the suspicion that she didn't want him to find Tidus first and administer the Hand of Justice. So there he stood, chafing with inaction.
While quietly fuming, Auron happened to glance towards the loading dock and spy Tidus. He watched the boy, writhing with curiosity, as the blond stared up at the Shoopuff. He was momentarily taken aback until he realized what had so captivated the teen. He watched as Wakka joined Tidus on the platform…
"There you are! We almost left you here brudda." Wakka said, grasping Tidus elbow. He turned, intending to tow the youth along, but found himself stopped as suddenly as a dog hitting the end of its chain at a full gallop.
"Hey, what're you just standing around for?" the red-haired Islander gave the blond's shoulder a shove and suddenly found his biceps locked in a fierce grip.
"Aren't those the biggest knockers you've ever seen?!" Tidus hissed in awe, giving his friend a shake.
Wakka blinked in confusion, then followed the trembling finger that was thrust out towards the beast's forequarters. Yep. This Shoopuff was definitely a female. He turned a guarded look on Tidus, seriously concerned for the boy's mental health. He made a note to have Lulu stop by his house once they got home. He may have let the cleaning go and the fungus could have started growing again.
After a moment Tidus shouted excitedly, "Its like the Lulu of the Shoopuff world!" Wakka clapped a had over Tidus' mouth, hissing him into silence.
"She'll hear you!" he squeaked, eyes swiveling frantically, horrified that Lulu might come marching up in righteous anger at any moment.
"But-!"
Acting quickly Wakka cast Sleep sighing in relief as the boy folded into a heap with a giggle.
Djose-Pilgrimage Road- Late afternoon. Our Guardians had a nice quiet journey and are hoping to spend a quiet evening resting at the temple.
"Kimahri." Yuna gently chided the Ronso as she looked back to see him carrying Tidus caveman style (I.e. thrown over one shoulder and dangling by a leg). The towering humanoid grinned at her as Wakka and Auron tried to stifle their snickering. There was just something hilarious about the way an unconscious body jiggled around when swinging from someone's back. It was even funnier because the little z's from the Sleep spell formed a little trail in the air as he bounced. Kimahri rumbled an apology and adjusted Tidus into a more appropriate position. It wasn't as amusing, but it did get a few discreet sniggers.
As they drew near the temple, the Sleep spell began wearing off and Tidus began to stir. The first thing he noticed was a persistent smell that seemed to be a strange cocktail of musty air from an old garage, damp cardboard boxes, and old carpeting. He muzzily pondered the smell until his brain woke up enough to identify it as 'CAT'. The young blitz ball player groaned and rolled sideways off the Ronso's shoulder to land on the unforgiving cobbles.
Tidus started to push himself up, but at the sight of Yuna rushing towards him in concern, he experienced a sudden crippling pain. It wasn't emanating from any specific area, it was a general pain for sympathy gathering purposes. It turned out to be a mistake.
"Tidus, are you okay?" Yuna asked in concern, crouching down beside him. Tidus groaned and flopped backwards, drawing Rikku over too. While they poured out hugs and kissed invisible boo-boo's a troop of monkeys rushed over to stare at Tidus. Then they stole all his gil.
To everyone's utter bemusement, a lone Cactuar leapt from the bushes and began beating off the monkeys with a tin cup, chittering angrily. Then it set down its little cup and held up a sigh, giving it a hopeful wiggle.
"Isn't that the one from the Thunder Plains?" Rikku whispered to Lulu.
"Looks like it. You can still see Tidus' boot print."
Tidus rose and stared down at the small cactus fiend, rubbing the back of his head
in awkward embarrassment. The whole punting incident rose to the front of his mind shouting and twirling its shirt over its metaphysical head. He shuffled his feet. He knew he should probably apologize seeing as how it had just saved him, but on the other hand it did steal his crayons. Yuna nudged him in the ribs.
"Oh…um thanks. Sorry about earlier." Yuna nudged him again and delicately waggled her eyebrows at the little tin cup sitting on the ground. Tidus picked up some of his scattered gil and dropped it in.
"Here you go little guy."
The Cactuar bristled.
"She's a girl. Duh!" Rikku said indignantly.
"How can you tell?!" Tidus exclaimed, "They all look the same." Rikku sighed. Shaking her head in disgust.
"Specieist! The girls have little flowers on their heads, you know." the Al Bhed teen pointed at the tiny pink flower blooming on the top of the Cactuar's prickly head.
"Whatever."
The little green cactus fiend put down the cardboard sign and performed the traditional Cactuar Dance. "That was wonderful!" Yuna exclaimed when the dance was over. "Wasn't it everyone?" The young Summoner looked at her companions meaningfully as she made an exaggerated clapping motion. The light went on and everyone enthusiastically nodded agreement and applauded, except Wakka, who she had to kick. The little Cactuar scuttled up to Yuna at the end and bowed, then kicked Tidus in the shin and beetled off into the bushes.
"Hurry up." Auron muttered as Tidus limped the last few feet towards the temple grounds, completely bypassing the long line for the Inn.
"My leg hurts." the boy whined.
"Its just a few cactus needles. Barely a flesh wound."
"They still hurt!"
"Crybaby."
"I'm not a crybaby. Yuna, he called me a crybaby!"
Auron rolled his eye.
"He doesn't mean it." Yuna soothed, "Sir Auron's just-"
"Old!" Tidus interjected with a baleful glare.
"Irritated." Yuna finished. Everyone paused and looked at Auron.
Auron scowled down at Rikku as she circled him thoughtfully.
"Hmm. I'd say 'annoyed.'"
"Looks more like… 'aggravated' , ya?"
"Um…definitely 'irked'." Auron frowned at Lulu. The Black Mage had the audacity to smile back. Probably because there wasn't anything on Spira that she feared, except maybe being trapped in a closet with Wakka after he had several bowls of Spicy Funguar.
Once everyone was done teasing Auron, Yuna and Company made their way through the unusually large crowd of people to the temple doors. Inside, the temple was even more crowded, with priests rushing back and forth like disturbed wasps. Auron spent several moments trying to collar a monk, but was unsuccessful.
"Time for plan B." Lulu stated with a hint of a smile.
"Okay," Auron, replied turning to Tidus.
"Plan B?" Rikku said, "What's plan B? Ooooh tell me! Tell me!" Auron grinned into his collar and gave Tidus' shoulder a slap.
"Go tell the priest that High Summoner Yuna is here. He's in there." the warrior monk pointed towards the stairs leading to the chamber of the Fayth.
"Right!" Tidus said brightly, weaving his way through the congested Great Hall.
Wakka turned an incredulous look on the older man,
"Only Summoners can enter the Chamber of the Fayth!"
"And who nearly charged through the priests in Besaid because Yuna was taking too long? Signs like 'No Admittance Under Any Circumstances' and Authorized Personnel Only' only apply to others. For Tidus they're merely suggestions.
"Either that or he's still illiterate to Spira's main languages," Lulu mused.
Rikku snorted derisively,
"He sure has no problem reading the boxes in the store rooms to find the sweets. And he definitely didn't have any trouble reading the magazines back at the Travel Agency."
"That's because he was only looking at the pictures." Lulu muttered.
As Spira's heroes waited for Tidus to return, they endured being bumped and jostled by excited looking travelers, scurrying novice priests, nuns, and men carrying carefully concealed items. Auron's patience was already running thin after several attempts to acquire help. There was obviously some major event tonight, but they should have dropped everything for the High Summoner. He watched Yuna suffering patiently through the press of bodies and wished that just once she would loose her temper. He stiffened as two men carrying a large contraption covered in black cloth, nearly knocking her off her feet.
"Watch it!" one of the men snapped. There was a low growl from behind him that rumbled like a shifting mountain. Yuna's Guardians watched eagerly as the man turned slowly, eyes swiveling reluctantly to see an unhappy looking Ronso looming over him. Kimahri loomed with all the malice of an impending land slide. He bristled, every hair standing on end and fixed the man with a glare that let him know that Kimahri had accidentally stepped on slime that was more noteworthy than him.
"This is the High Summoner you're snapping at, friend." Auron said, grinning horribly at the two men.
"Yeah," Wakka interjected, "Yevon's watching you!" It was lame, probably the lamest comeback of all time, but the men paused and exchanged uncertain glances with each other and Yuna. The two men manhandling the large object thought about this for a moment, then one of them said in a low, curious voice, "Really?"
"Yes." Yuna replied quickly, needing to vent a little for all the rough treatment.
The man pondered this then said with cautious triumph, "I thought Yevon was destroyed." To which Yuna replied, "Yes, but he was not Sent, so now his spirit is every where. Watching us. All the time."
"Oh. Right then. Sorry about the misunderstanding." they apologized, and hurried off, casting nervous glancing at the ceiling.
It was around this time that Tidus returned, ducking and dodging thorough the crowd. This time he wasn't being pursued by the High Priest, seeing as the man was nowhere to be found.
Growing impatient, Auron led his companions in a search for the elusive High Priest. It was slow going for everyone but Auron, who was the only one able to walk unhindered through the mob. Literally unhindered due to being Unsent. He could have faded through the human obstacles, but as a Guardian he had to stay with his Summoner. Everyone else resorted to the lessons learned in kindergarten, namely walking in a straight line while holding hands. They also used Kimahri as a bipedal snow plow.
The milling crowd suddenly disgorged our heroes right in front of Donna and her Guardian Barthello.
"Well, well,well. If it isn't-," the arrogant woman began, only to be cut off by Barthello's sudden bellow.
"Sir Auron!!! Wow! Its such an honor to be in your presence again!" Auron stepped back in the face of his explosive enthusiasm.
"Look! Just as I promised, I haven't washed my hand since the day you shook it." The beefy Guardian held up his right hand and reverently removed the scrap of waterproof sacking he had tied over it. The hand beneath it was crusted with dead skin, several species of a fuzzy white fungus, and was decidedly wrinkly from retained moisture. There was no doubt in Auron's mind that the blotchy skin and yellowing nails were the breeding ground of at least fifteen new diseases.
"Very…good?" Auron suggested, trying to ignore the sound of Rikku gagging behind him.
" Put that away!" Donna snapped, rolling her eyes.
"Awww, Donna." Barthello whined, pulling the cover back on. Auron contemplated shaking the man's hand, just to see how he would manage without both hands.
"We were going to stop here for the night," Donna said, as if someone had cared enough to ask. "But they don't have any rooms."
"What?" Yuna's Guardians all groaned at once. It was turning out to be one of those trips where everything just seemed to go wrong. Tidus and Wakka discreetly stepped away from Auron's immediate vicinity. From the flushed look on his face, it wasn't going to take much more to set him off.
Wow. I would be seriously concerned about anyone who found animal mammaries that fascinating. Tidus needs to get out more. Feel free to leave a review. If you don't, that's okay, but remember Yevon is watching you!