I love Christmas Break! I can actually write what I want to, and I don't mean reports. No homework, nothing, so I can write as much as I want to. So here is chapter 3.

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As Artemis plummeted down the tunnel 20 feet under the Earth's surface, he began to wonder, how he would explain this to his parents. He saw the blinding artificial lighting at the end and realizing how close he was, prepared himself. He landed feet firm on the ground and turned.

This area did not seem at all like Haven. The walls were uneven, and the LEP base to the left seemed like it had been put up by a 5 year old. Artemis heard a loud thump and looked over his shoulder, back to the hole that lead to the surface. His family had landed, none of them in a very coordinated fashion except for Butler who himself had managed to lose his balance and almost landed on the twins before catching himself.

"Hey, Mudboy!" Artemis smiled; he knew that voice almost as well as he knew his own.

"Captain" He replied. Holly smirked at him and held out her hand. Artemis took it. "So Holly, what is going on? Though I must thank you. If it weren't for you I would still be discussing with my father why I don't have a girlfriend."

"But, you do have a girlfriend."
"Yes Holly, I am well aware of that, but think about it. Hi dad, this is my girlfriend… Where did we meet? Oh, while trying to steal an imp from a dimension separated from our world… Oh yes, of course I will tell you the whole story."

"Artemis, lying has never bothered you before, why start now."

"Well, lying to my father is not easy, have you tried it. I swear the man can read minds."

Holly smiled. "Like father like son, right?"

"Why did we come here, you have those shoots, why did we not take one of those?"

"Well Artemis, that depends. Do you enjoy the thought of being exposed to such high pressures, that your lungs fail you, and you start to release brain fluid?"

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"Sir… Master Fowl… Sir?" Artemis turned around and found himself facing his new bodyguard.

"Yes, Butler? What is it?" Butler looked intimidated, and slightly taken aback.

"I just felt that I should emphasize the…"

"Artemis, who is this buffoon. He isn't the Butler I know." Butler scowled.

"This is my new Butler." Artemis stated simply. "And speaking of him, shouldn't you be getting Butler?"

"Fiora's got it."

"Fiora?"

"Yes Arty, Foaly's girlfriend."

"Foaly still has a girlfriend, then? She hasn't been scared off by that helmet he wears?" Of course, Artemis was talking about the aluminum cap Foaly wore to keep his mind from being read. "She still…"

"Um, Master Fowl." Butler had managed to interrupt Artemis, mid sentence, and looked seriously distressed.

"What?" Artemis snapped. It was uncommon for a Fowl to lose his temper, but this man pushed him to his last nerve.

"There is a short man pestering your father, rambling on about some sort of people, and these people being stolen of gold, and some Opal person, and some cube."

Artemis sighed, and walked with Holly over toward his confused family and a single, rambling LEP trainee, who was somewhere in between fear, awe, and respect. A shrill, high pitched voice reached his ears, and Artemis immediately regretted hearing it.

"Is it true, that you tricked a drunken Fairy, tricked the LEPrecon, caught Opal Kobi, defeated the Russian Mafiya, and…"

"Smoter, what are you doing, and why are you hassling this man?" Artemis suppressed a chuckle. Smoter. No wonder this boy was so strange, with a name like that.

"I was just, this is, that is to say, he's, well,"

"Artemis Fowl, Senior. You want this one." Short motioned carelessly toward Artemis.

"The answer to your questions is yes. Now please, do not pester my father any more."

"Father… but, you're a… a child."

"Your point being…" Artemis chuckled. This elf reminded him of Nguyen Xuan, the man that Artemis had to thank for his knowledge and involvement with the People.

"Hey Artemis Fowl! Come to help me with another computer program, or here to save our hides? No, that's not it; I think it's the other way around this time, mudboy." Artemis knew that whinnying tone.

"Hello Foaly, how are you, and how is Fiora?"

"Ask her yourself." Foaly answered, and pointed at a young female centaur, walking along with Butler.

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As Butler walked, he noticed a young man was standing near Artemis, looking perplexed. Butler made his way over and roughly pulled the man away, so they could talk in private.

"Domovi."

"Alfonso."

"So, old man. How is your life? Having a relaxing retirement?"

Domovi Butler gritted his teeth in frustration. His nephew was even more trouble than Artemis. It was a miracle that he had even graduated.

"Listen, Alfonso. I know that you feel all high and mighty, but pay close attention. Artemis is, high maintenance, and you can get cocky. I don't want you to get hurt. This job is going to be more trouble than you will ever have imagined. My brother did not die protecting you from that gunman when you were 5, just so you could get yourself killed."

"Look uncle. Artemis is my responsibility now, not yours. You need to let go. You got to old, Artemis needed someone younger. Deal with it." And with that, Alfonso Butler stalked away.

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Artemis heard someone yelling, and turned. As his new bodyguard stomped away from a corner, he saw an old friend.

"Domovi, good to see you. How is retirement?'

"Incredibly dull. So, I see my nephew is as arrogant as ever."

"Nephew, Butler?"

"I had a brother." Butler said defensively. Artemis did not ask for details.

"Oh. Well, I did not want a new Butler, trust me. This was all my father's idea. By the way, where is Minerva?"

"She wasn't home. Besides, do you really think she was in much danger? There is no way that the Mafiya could know about her."

"There are ways, Butler, there are always ways. Ways a man can figure out who loves who. What their enemy's weaknesses are."

"Artemis, you are as paranoid as Foaly."

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So yes chappie 3. To all of you wondering, I like the name Alfonso, and I think it serves Arty's new bodyguard well.

Thanks again to all of those who have supported me, I have fixed what was pointed out in chappie 2.

I would like to give a special thanks Kelsey… again. You rock! Thanks also to CyleFlynt for the suggestions. Thanks to everyone who helped out!

On a more serious note, I have been receiving complaints about my story being to short. To these people… DEAL. I have already stated that I have an inability to write long chappies. If you have a problem with that, don't read my stories. STOP COMPLANING!!! YOU PEOPLE ARE DRIVIN ME CRAZY!!!!!

Also, I have re read my chapters, and fixed all errors pointed out to me. If you see any more, contact me.