AN- This is the shortest, but I didn't think it needed to be any longer than it is. Anyway, this chapter will probably be controversial. But honestly, this is how I think Angel got AIDS. If you don't, please, don't flame me. Just, don't review it, okay? If you've nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. And this is placed like.. right about the time when Angel gets really sick. Around, 'Without You'. That explains the ending. So there shouldn't be any confusion there.
Disclaimer- I don't own RENT.
I'm not a hypocrite. I'm really not. Sometimes, when I think about what I've done with my life, I'm usually happy. My life is about as good as it's going to get. I mean, I've got some great friends, people who love me..I have a roof over my head, food to eat.
AIDS is just one of those things I've got to live with. But believe me. I'll live with it.
Like I said, I'm not a hypocrite. But every single time I tell Mimi to lay off the drugs, I cringe. Not because of what she's doing, but because of what I've done.
I've got AIDS because of one prick. One thing that I just wanted to try.
I went out and found the man that I knew dealt Mimi her drugs regularly. I remember thinking that he was nice because he even gave me a syringe.
I wasn't stupid. I knew what would happen if I got in too deep. I would end up like Mimi. Hooked on drugs and barely even an adult. I didn't know if I could handle that. Besides, I just wanted to try it once. She always made the high seem so much fun.
I can't believe that for one time, I let my mind slip from me.
The high wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. I felt sick, dizzy. I could barely move. Maybe the heroin and my body just didn't agree. That was the first and last time I ever tried drugs.
But it only takes one time.
I found out that I was positive on a regular doctor visit. I had a cough, since it was cold outside. I didn't even cry when he told me I was positive. I was so numb. I didn't even know what to feel.
I went to a park and ate an ice cream cone afterwards. How was I supposed to dwell on the fact that I would eventually die. I got over it. Just like I would get over everything else.
Collins is the only person who knows how I got AIDS. He's the only person who I trusted enough to tell. And he'll be the only person who ever saw my tears.
It was the biggest disappointment of my life. But maybe it was for the best. Now, I've got a meaning. I'm going to get Mimi off drugs. I'm going to make sure Roger's white ass doesn't leave. I'm going to get Maureen and Joanne back together. And I'm going to make sure Collins is happy for the rest of his life, even if mine is shorter than his.