Chapter 2

The next morning the mortician, Melvin came in to see who he was going to be working on that day and discovered that he was the lucky one to draw the short straw and get stuck with Dr. Marty Saybrooke.
"Oh crap," and he walked down to the preparing room.

"Oh crap!!!!" This was repeat and would be again several times that day as he worked on her but this particular oh crap was in response to the great surprise he was looking at.
Apparently Marty had indulged in a great deal of botox and now was showing its nasty side.
Her face, although never a part of her many chose to look at for long, was now even harder to look at.

In fact a person would have a hard time knowing just where to look first.
You see the botox has caused her face to shift, well maybe slide was a better term to use.
It was just like how when you parted your hair in the center, this is what had happened to her face. Everything had slid to the sides!

"Oh crap!" Melvin certainly had his work cut out for him on this job, that was for sure!

Looking closely at her he noticed something strange.
Well strange for a woman who had been shot, fell out of an ambulance, hit by a garbage truck, used as a speedbump, squeezed in the elevator doors, and then died from choking on a chicken bone.
Oh ya, and flying off the roof of the hospital too!

After examining her eye again he looked at the file he had on her.

Oh, he thought, that explains it!

Under the listing of previous injuries he saw that her left eye had had a trauma to it a couple of weeks ago.

It would seem a paper airplane that she was attempting to fly had instead flown directly into said eye causing her to lose some use of it.

Well, that explains the problem with her left one, what the hell is wrong with the right?!

After of hours of trying to fill out her face and not have her look like Lurch, from the Adams Family, Melvin finally stood back and looked at his work.
He hadn't removed the chicken bone from her throat because well, honestly it was just too gross to go sticking his fingers down her mouth and try to yank it out.

What the hell, he thought, for once the Doc can wear something with a high neckline and show a little modesty!

Deciding that he had done a half way good job, he decided to take a break and lit up a cigarette and proceeded to relax.
Unfortunately he started to relax too much and began to drift off.

It was at this point that the cigarette hit the end of Marty's nose and began a melting process.
It was the smell of burning, old chicken that woke Melvin up to discover he now had to do another "touch up" job on his client.

"Oh crap! Oh crap!!"

Sigh

And so started his work on trying to make her nose look normal as apposed to the melted mess it had become.
Another hour later he was finally done, and all it had taken was some silly putty and some stucco. Along with a great deal of make up of course!

Finally done, he pushed the prep table to the side and left.
As the day went on and Marty was left by the side, things started to pick up around the funeral home.

Well outside that is.
The local gardener came to remove the unwanted trees and fallen limbs and to tidy up around the outside.

Now no one knows just how it happened but Marty was at some point moved outside to the area that the garden was.

As the man was throwing limbs and such into the chipper he didn't notice that the gurney had rolled closer to the chipper and closer to where he was working.
Turning to grab a large branch he accidentally knocked the prep gurney sending it rolling slowly towards the chipper.

Just as the gardener turned back around he was in time to see the gurney hit the chipper and Marty start to slide down, feet first in to it!

"Oh crap!"
Grabbing at her head he tried to stop her slide but her face shifted and he let go with a yelp!
He next tried to grab her by the upper arms but the extra skin that was there just stretched.

"Oh double crap!"
This time he grabbed her by the wrists and yanked with great force.
Perhaps a little too much force as Marty was then propelled through the air.
The gardener ducked to avoid getting hit by her waving arms and legs as she flew towards the back of his truck.

THUD!

Cautiously lifting his hands from his face he looked up to see what she had landed on.
Or more precisely in!!

Marty had had a relatively soft landing in the back of the pick up, since it was presently filled with manure.

Standing there for a minute not knowing what to do, he just looked at her.
Walking over to her he crossed himself and asked for mercy before grabbing her up and tossing her back onto to gurney.
Covering her with the sheet again, he rolled it up closer to the door to the funeral home.
Looking around to see if anyone had seen, he beat a hasty retreat and left rubber in the parking lot.

As the day went on it was finally noticed by the staff at the funeral home that Dr. Saybrooke was not where she was supposed to be and a search was started immediately.

Well it was started once everyone had their coffee and donuts and shared the latest gossip they had all heard.

Especially the gossip involving the lead detective and a certain redhead at Rodi's!

Once the search was started for the missing doc it didn't take long to find her and to also discover that she had had a "little accident" during her little tour about.

"Oh crap!!!"
That did seem to be the word of the day.
Also one that most people thought of when they had to deal with Marty Saybrooke, dead or alive.

Pulling back the sheet, Melvin the mortician made a not so pretty discovery while looking at Marty's legs.

Not that looking at her legs was great at any time when she was still wheezing but now it was even worse, if possible.

You see when she was sucked into the chipper it did more than just nip off her toe nails.

It took her toes.

And her feet.

And her calves too!

Sigh

What was he to do with this now?

Looking around to see if anyone else had noticed and seeing no one had, again cause frankly no one wanted to look at Marty volentarily, he decided the best course of action.

Pretend it hadn't happened!

Hey, it wasn't like anyone was gonna be checking out the doc's legs anyways.
No one had while she was alive, why the hell would they now?!

Looking at the order form he noticed that the son had picked the cheapest casket they had.

Guess he's got something else planned with his money! Thought Melvin.