Disclaimer: The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine.
The Upside of DownPart Nine
By, Elissahara30
He seemed to want to reach out to me, but I pulled back and I noticed the hurt on his face. Right now I needed to leave, and hopefully wake up soon. I turned my back and walked away.
I stood in front of the fall length mirror in Joe's master bedroom and just stared at myself. There was this person who looked back at me that didn't strike me as someone who was particularly remarkable. Here she was a thirty-three year old, unmarried, pale, fuzzy headed, blue eyed plain woman. What was it about me that had two men want me so badly?
Over the course of years I had been stupid and more than that I had been woefully blind. With a skill I had developed since I was young, I learned to ignore anything that made me feel uncomfortable. Looking back at my relationship blunders I realize I was only ever living in the moment with no plans to buy any real estate on my future.
The dream of my supposed infidelity still haunted me. I would toss and turn at night trying to resolve this issue inside my head. It hurt, but I couldn't deny the seed of truth in the words that Mary Lou confronted me with because when I really looked closely at it I was never a hundred percent faithful. I remember when Ranger had told I only owned thirty percent of Joe, and now I have wonder if Joe only ever had thirty percent of me. If I was going to be honest, I never gave either Ranger or Joe a hundred percent of heart. I portioned it out, just enough to keep them interested, but not enough to have made a commitment to either man.
Looking back on my relationship with Dickie it had been a farce from the beginning. All the clues were there that he was an unfaithful worm. Yet I ignored all the clues up to the point I cam home one day to witness him fucking Joyce. So, finally I paid attention to his duplicity in our marriage, and all it cost me was my heart.
I moved away from the mirror and sat on the bed. How many nights had I slept here with Joe and my mind was always on someone else. Even before Ranger was killed, how many times had I been with Joe and wished he were someone else. Dickie had claimed to have loved me, even while he was screwing other women. I claimed to love Joe, even though my heart really belonged to someone else. So, the sad hard truth of the matter was, I'm not any better than Dickie. I may not have been cheating with my body; I was unfaithful with my heart and to a greater extent that made me the bigger whore.
I surveyed the bedroom again and made sure I didn't leave any items behind. Joe and I had fought bitterly when I informed him that I was leaving. He didn't understand and I didn't have the heart to tell him, that I just didn't love him enough to stay. It was one more despairing situation already added to my broken heart. It hurt much inside that now I have start mourning the death of our relationship. With a heavy sigh, I stood up and picked up the last box remaining from floor and headed out the room.
On the way to my new apartment I started to get cravings for TastyKakes. Hell it's been so long since I felt the desire to eat much of anything that I think maybe should indulge myself. I pulled into the Quickie Mart and jumped out of my car. Once I stepped into the door my spidy sense went into hyper drive. I just walked into something deadly. The clerk at the cash register was pale and sweaty and shaky. I didn't see anyone else but it did not mean there weren't there. I went about getting the TastyKakes, trying to act like nothing unusual was going on. I would call the police as soon as I could, but I didn't want to get either of us killed.
I headed up to the cash register with my purchases and looked at the attendant, trying to let her know that I will call the police. God, I hope she understood ESP. When I was starting to turn out of the store, the rubber came up from behind me and pressed his gun to my temple and I started to feel faint.
"You're not going anywhere," said the gunmen hi hot breath brushing against my ear. I turned away because his breath was rank, and heavy with alcohol.
Just then a mother with her four year old daughter came into the market, I jabbed my elbow back and made the robber double over. "GET OUT!" I shouted to the mother as I turned back and fought with the robber for control of the gun.
In the space of minutes two shots were fired. I stood there in shock as the guy fell to the floor bleeding and I started to see black dots dance before my eyes and my head was spinning. The clerk tried to talk to me, but the words seemed garbled, I swayed unsteadily on my feet. I looked down at my hands and realized that I was shot too. I sat down hard on the floor, and looked out where the mother was consoling her little daughter. The only thought that went through my mind before every fell into darkness was, she's the same age as Jack.
A/N: Okay folks you won. I will end this with an HEA. Also since is down and I can't reply to everyone's reviews. Thanks for the reviews it makes this story all the more fun to write.