A/N: My author's notes will, after this chapter, generally be shorter. I got a review saying they were shocked when shadow admitted to being scared. Well, I rushed the chapter a little too much, wanting to get it finished before I'd have to go somewhere, but I think, if everyone will hang with me, that I'll stop rushing chapters. But, to fit it in a little, just chock it up to Shadow having searched for a long time, and then the state of Sonics limbs. Oh, and don't worry about chapter three taking so long, I've just been busy. I've had to delay some of my classes to come back home and support my mother, after the inevitable, but still unexpected, passing of my father. He was the first in US medical history documented to survive a rupturing of the brain-stem, but it shortened his life considerably. I'd devote this story to him, but he was anti-gay, so I'm not. Yeah, didn't go over too well when he learned of yours-truly being bi. Last thing before I start will be responding to my two reviewers. I've had 153 hits, but two reviews. Thanks to: dani, and SapphireStardust (nice name)

Dani: yeah, it was rushed, and it will be somewhat angsty/comedic. It will be different, but I'll try my best to make it good.

SapphireStardust: Ah! Puss in boots eyes! Can't resist! Sorry it was late. Forgive me. cream gives her cute look, then is shot by chibi-shadow, who gives, instead, his cute look.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic, or any extension of the franchise. If I did, there would be another version for more mature audiences, featuring my good friends Joe Camel and Jack Daniels, and other things. Imagines Eggman threatening Sonic with a long speech, then being shot. I won't even mention the perverted stuff. Oh, and any other thing I make a comedic reference to, I probably don't own.

EDIT: Story got kind of delayed when I got into my Naruto mood, but I think I can work on both now.

XXXxxx

"Angst, angst, angst. Legs, avenge family, don't try to bring me back, Naru-Shadow!"

"Shut up! You're channeling an emo-ninja from this anime series I watch on the internet!"

After exorcising Sonic with strawberry flavored holy water Shadow took a moment to rest. He had just bought (by way of waving a gun at a real estate man) a nice, tenth-floor apartment in a big city.

"But I- father's power, weak humans, defeat me, Dante!"

"Oh, god dammit! Put down Devil May Cry 3 for five minutes!" Shadow sighed and went out on the balcony. The view of the ocean was so beautiful at dusk. It seemed he had finally found a peaceful place. Abruptly, a helicopter crashed into the building three blocks down. So much for peace. Oh, well, a little havoc could be fun, too! Walking over to the closet, Shadow asked Sonic if he had any idea for how it could be used.

"Well, we could just put clothes in it…" Shadow looked over to his rival (friend, but his pride had been too damaged by recent events to think that), somewhat sadly noticing that even with the fake fur stuck on, Sonic's arm and legs didn't look quite natural. However, someone wouldn't notice unless they looked very closely. Still, Shadow would be damned if he let the author ruin his pride again, so soon. "Why would we be wearing clothes? And what about the fact that the hero business didn't exactly pay overly well?!"

Sonic had a mischievous look on his face that scared the hell out of Shadow, "Well, why do you think I made sure Tails wasn't home when I visited his house?"

"You stole Tail's money?!" Shadow knew Sonic chose to leave the hero business, but he didn't realize how much Sonic had been faking his morality. Torn between laughing and stressing, he decided to yell while chuckling.

"Yeah! You catch on quickly, Shadow! Also, I found these… pictures… we could blackmail Tails and this fat Italian guy with." The fact that Sonic's hands trembled when handing them to Shadow, and the way he said pictures, made the hedgehog hesitate to look.

"Oh, dear god! My eyes, my unspoiled, virgin eyes! Aaaargh!" Shadow began to claw at his eyes, knowing that being technically immortal, he'd just grow them back eventually. After a number of minutes, he got up off the floor, knowing he'd passed out from horror.

"Shadow, lunch!" The vision of Sonic wearing an apron inscribed with the words "Kiss the cook" did nothing to help the ultimate life form's mental health. After shaking his head to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, he weakly took the plate handed to him. Looking at the plate, he shook his head.

"Chilidogs! Fucking chilidogs!! You haven't eaten a decent meal in HOW long, and your first choice is chilidogs?!" Despairing, Shadow wondered what was so special about chilidogs. Squinting at the not-so-innocent looking food, he finally sighed and took a bite. They were surprisingly good, but the ever-cheerful hedgehog had to make a last remark, "What is in this chili? It tastes different."

"A little of this, a little of that." This was when Shadow noticed the empty bottle of whisky on the counter. The hedgehog stared at the half-eaten foodstuff in his hand, then glanced back at the counter, where he saw a box labeled "Habanero Peppers". So that was the spicy flavor. It was about this time that he realized fully the fact that Sonic had put a whole bottle of booze in a pot of chili. It didn't help that, considering how busy Shadow had been, he rarely partook of liquor. "Oh my god. A blue, faking hedgehog has just laced the food with an entire bottle of booze. Oh, Sonic? I think you've left something behind… Your damn moral code!"

"Oh, now Shadow the Hedgehog is referencing me having a moral code? Who shot that secretary when she wouldn't let you see the real estate guy?" The trigger-happy hedgehog was about to argue, when he realized Sonic had him there. Deciding to get back to the matter of clothes, he inquired as to where they would buy the clothes, as looking at Sonic's limbs answered his question.

"Oh, I saw a sweet clothing store down at the mall. You'll see it when you get there." After eating, they walked out of the room, locking the oaken door behind them. Once out on the streets, Sonic's cold mentality resumed. He had been like this, sometimes the carefree hedgehog Shadow had known, and sometimes the cold, menacing one that reminded Shadow of himself. Glaring at a child who hit him with a ball by accident, Sonic looked up to see a dead guy lying on the street, having been hit by a car. Looking further up, he saw the ghost of the boy talking to a blue-haired woman sitting on an oar, dressed in a pink kimono. He didn't want to know. (YuYu Hakusho, anyone?)

Finally walking through the doorway of the mall, Sonic stopped at a store with black walls, covered in band shirts and black clothes covered in chains. "Hot Topic? Sonic, sometimes I wonder what your real personality is."

"Hey, jackass, I always liked this store, but in the whole 'hero' gig, people didn't believe a guy in black, chained clothes was going to help someone. That and this religious nut kept following me, telling me to "Accept Jesus Christ, your lord and savior". Yeah, riiiight. Now, though, I can listen to the Metal you always got to listen to, and I can wear what I want.

Picking out several pairs of baggy black pants, a few H.I.M. Tees, and a flowing black trench coat, with a pair of black leather knee high boots to top it off, the blue hedgehog made his purchase and met up with Shadow outside, who was now wearing a Stone Sour t-shirt, similar baggy pants, and a pair of red chucks.

"Well, I see someone also has a similar preference in clothing"

"Yeah, Sega wouldn't let me wear clothing after that time I shot the guy who argued against me having a gun." But now that the hero-contracting corporation had no control over the hedgehog, he was dressed as he saw fit.

After leaving the store, they were about to go look for something to do. Then they spotted their worst enemy. Not Eggman, not Cream, but The Pink One. Ducking behind a trash bin, they watched as she passed into a store, coming out a moment later with a bag of doughnuts. Suddenly, their hedgehog senses were tingling, and sure enough, Cream walked into the mall, waving at Amy. This situation couldn't get any worse, right?

Wrong. In waltzed Eggman, in a pinstriped business suit that made him look like a gray watermelon. Walking up to the two curious girls, he cleared his throat before speaking just loud enough for the hiding hedgehogs to hear. "Alright, ladies. While I would not usually associate with you, I have found a rather chance opportunity. Apparently, a black hedgehog with a gun bought an apartment that I happen to be paid to 'protect'. Now doesn't this person sound familiar?"

With a growl, Amy instantly responded. "Shadow the hedgehog! That asshole, he was getting in between me and my Sonikku."

"Ahem, precisely. He has also been a major thorn in my side in the past, so I'm thinking a little revenge is in order. With your help, it would provide more ease on my men, and both of us would get some sense of satisfaction. Are you with me?" After Eggman proffered a hand, Amy took it and shook.

So, now they had Eggman and Amy coming after Shadow? Oh shit.

XXXX

A/N: Slightly lighter chapter, I hope everyone will forgive me for the delay. Chapter three will be up in the next week or week and a half, probably. Until next time.

Next Chapter: Sonic is discovered, Knuckles eats children, and Tails gets in a fight with Mario.