One Last Chance

Bobbys POV:

So here I am, standing behind this metal chain link fence, looking at the crime scene from a distance. Well, truth be told, I'm not really looking at the crime scene at all. I'm looking at her. Looking at her working with him. Her temporary partner.. Abrams..Abranov... Something like that. I don't really remember his name. I'm looking to see how she works with him, how she looks at him. They are studying something, glancing at each other, nodding their heads when one of them speaks. He stands up from a kneeling position over the body and I can see that he is waiting for her to stand up too. She does. He says something animated, points to something to his right, then his left, and her eyes follow his hands. She nods in agreement. He says something else and she, well, she says something that I can only assume is snark due to the full on smile he returns. And I feel like I've been punched in the gut. Clearly, they work well together.

I've only spoken to her a few times since my suspension. Mostly her, calling me, asking if I'm well, am I eating right, exercising and seeing my shrink? She asks, but I'm not sure she really listens to the answers. I don't think she quite believes me anymore. So I don't call her. I wait. Four weeks and four days. I want to surprise her. I want her to see that I've lost 20 pounds, that I'm actually exercising again, and I want to tell her that my twice weekly meetings with the shrink have helped me to begin to exocise my demons. I want to tell her that when I was strapped to that table, I whispered her name, like a prayer. I want to tell her that it is the thought of returning to her that has kept me going on days that I don't think I can go on anymore. I want to tell her I'm getting better.

I pick up the phone and hit speed dial 1. I see her reach down and open her phone.

"Eames" she says

"Hey, it's me."

She lowers her head a bit as her partner bends down to look at the body again. She doesn't say anything so I say "I'm here. Look over your left shoulder". She turns, first to her right.

"Your other left Eames" I say and I could swear I see a little smile form, even from this distance.

She sees me. She closes the phone, bends down and says something to him. He nods, not really looking at her and she begins to walk towards me. As she gets closer, I forget how to breathe for a minute. And then she's here. And we're separated by this metal fence, but I can feel it, we're separated by so much more.

"Wow. You look good Goren." She tilts her head a bit. "Healthy". She says.

"You look good yourself" I say. She does. I mean she always looks beautiful, but ...she looks tired. Worn down. And I feel another punch to the gut knowing it's probably because of me. I want to ask her if she misses me as much as I miss her. I want to break down the fence and the distance between us and ask for another chance. But I can't. Instead I say "my hearing's tomorrow".

" I know, Ross told me".

"The Shrink says he's clearing me for active duty. As long as I keep going to my sessions".

"That's great". She smiles, but I know what she's thinking. That she can't trust me anymore, to follow through on anything. My heart is screaming out to her "You can trust me. I'm back. I'm not going over the edge again. Ever." But I realize that this trust has to be earned. And it will take a long time. A lot of work. And in that minute I realize that I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't give me that chance. My reverie is broken as I see her partner start to look around for her. So I motion over to where he is and I say "Your partner is looking for you". She gives me a smile, a nod of her head and turns her back to go. But as she's walking she turns back around and says "you mean my temporary partner". And I smile. Because as long as it takes, and as hard as it will be, I'm not gonna blow this one last chance that she is giving me. My one last chance.

Alex's POV:

I turn to look at Abrams. I agree with him. The victim wasn't surprised. She must have known the perp. He's examining the body, drawing conclusions, and I agree with most of them. But he's missing something. So am I. But we're missing two different things. He's missing some kind of clue. I'm missing Bobby. Goren. Oh, don't get me wrong, Abrams is good enough, he get's the job done, and I guess that's what counts, right? But it's less...forgive me for saying this...interesting. He's straight by the book, and you would have thought I'd appreciate that, after everything I"ve been through. And truth be told, I was looking forward to working with Abrams when we were assigned together. No trying to get into someone else's mind. I don't worry that I have to "pull my partner back" when he teeters on the edge. I'm not the "go between, the translator" between Ross and my partner. I just go to work, immerse myself in the case during the day, and get to go home and take care of myself. Myself. And let me tell you, it's been a loooong time since I got a good nights sleep. Except I don't. I have horrible nightmares that Bobby is stuck on that table and I am too late to save him. I dream that he is walking a tightrope between two buildings with no net. But the worst dream, well that's the one where I am drowning and he does nothing to save me. What do you think that means?

After he told me about his suspension, I called a few times. Like twice a week at first. I was worried that he wasn't eating right, or sitting on his couch doing nothing, or, more importantly, missing his appointments with the shrink that he so desperately needs. He would yes me to death, but I didn't totally believe him. And he never called me. It's been four weeks and four days and he never called. But now I'm tired, worn down, broken. And I want someone to fix it for me. But I don't think he will. I don't think he'll even try. And it will take too much time to get past this.

Abrams pulls me out of my thoughts and says something to which I give him a sacastic response. He laughs. My phone rings and I flip it open.

"Eames" I say

"Hey, it's me". It's Goren. I turn away from Abrams to hear better

"I'm here. Look over your left shoulder".

I turn to my right at first, out of habit, and he says "Your other left Eames". Damn him. I smile. I tell Abrams I'll be right back, and he nods, but doesn't look up at me. I walk over to the fence and see him. As I get closer, I forget how to breathe for a minute. And then I'm there. Standing on the other side of a metal fence, but I feel somehow, like there are several fences and walls between us. But then I look at him. Really look. And he looks good, and somehow, more peaceful than I've seen in a long time.

"Wow." I hear myself say "You look good Goren" and then I realize the word I've been looking for. I tilt my head to look at him from an angle "Healthy".

"You look good yourself" he says but I can't help but wonder if notices how tired I am. I want to know what he's been doing all this time. I want to know how his sessions are going, I want to know if he misses me as much as I've missed him. But he just says " My hearing is tomorrow"

" I know, Ross told me" I say

"The Shrink says he's clearing me for active duty. As long as I keep going to my sessions".

"That's great". I say. But I'm looking at him. I don't know. I want to trust him. Can I? Then I think to myself ,something's different. Maybe now he gets it. And maybe he'll try to prove to me that's he's still a good a cop, partner, or whatever else he is to me. He motions over to Abrams and says "your partner's looking for you." I smile and nod and turn to go. But then I stop. I turn back around and say "you mean my temporary partner". I smile to myself. I guess I trust him enough to give him one last chance.

-end-