SW was taking his morning stroll through the woods and indulging in his favorite hobby: mentally narrating his every action.

Being a prince with a girly name isn't always easy, but I've learned with a good old-fashioned positive mental attitude, life's pretty good. Hey, I just realized I'm SW and I have a PMA. Boy, acronyms are fun. SW, feelin' OK with PMA, taking a stroll in the AM, will have dinner in the PM, is a guy, so doesn't suffer from PMS…"

"Frick!"

A voice startled SW out of his reverie. He looked around to see where it came from and saw, emerging from the brush, a woman on a white horse, holding the reins with one hand and looking at a map in the other. The horse whinnied and reared at one point. The woman was dressed in blue, her blonde hair tied in a braid, and, despite her frazzled expression, SW could safely say she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Wow, a gorgeous girl on a white horse!

She might be the true love I've been waiting for! Better turn up the princely charm.

SW swaggered over, ran a hand through his hair (his one vanity) and said,

"Your horse is badly behaved… must be a 'white mare'!"

The woman looked at SW blankly. SW stammered,

"B-because, 'nightmare' rhymes with 'white mare', and y-your horse is, um, white…"

"And a stallion."

Forget the princely charm; just ask her if she needs help!

"Can I assist you in some way, milady?"

"Yes, I'm looking for the kingdom of Sacredheartland, and this map has not been helpful."

"Look no further, the kingdom is right down yonder path!"

Good thing, too. She doesn't need directions from the guy voted "Most Likely to Get Lost in His Own Backyard" in high school.

The maiden, whom SW expected to be meek and demure, suddenly blurted out, in a manner most rapid,

"Oh, splendid! I'm visiting and I went for a ride this morning and got completely lost! I'm there with my parents, totally against my will; they want me to meet the stupid prince of stupid Sacredheartland… but how I prattle! Pray, what is your name?"

"Uh, I'm… stupid Prince SW."

"You are?"

"Yes."

"Frick on the back of a tick! Forgive me, your highness! My mouth tends to run with me. I get it from my mom. I mean, you want to talk about putting your foot in your mouth, she sticks her whole leg… ugh, and I'm doing it again! Let's start over. I am Princess Elliot of Waspia. And forgive me once again for babbling like a brook."

"You will be forgiven, Princess… if you'll allow me to escort you back to my kingdom."

Princess Elliot smiled.

"Permission granted! Mount my steed!"

Whoa, she works fast!

"I'm sorry?"

"Get on the horse."

"Oh."

So SW rode behind Princess Elliot, where they discussed numerous things, from SW's full name (which Princess Elliot gushed was "so pretty!") to the appeal of Punch and Judy (SW insisted that they "somehow make domestic abuse hi-larious!"). SW pretended not to notice that Elliot would "accidentally" go down the wrong path now and then, buying them more time to talk. By the time they reached the kingdom, it was nearly evening and they were loath to part from one another. Princess Elliot's parents, King Simon and Queen Lily, greeted her. Queen Lily said,

"Oh, I was almost worried, darling! I really think you should have walked instead of ride, you know, burn off last year's Christmas pudding! But I see you've already gotten the prince's attention, so he must like the, erm, 'womanly' type!"

As I watched Elliot bravely endure her mom's verbal abuse, a warm, fuzzy feeling came over me, and all I could think about was the nice little future Elliot and I could share. Oh my God, am I in love? Gasp! I am! Awesome!

SW motioned for Elliot and she approached him, her parents oblivious to the fact that she did so. SW began,

"Your Highness…

"Please, call me Elliot."

"Okay, Elliot, there will be a royal banquet tonight, but I thought, once it's through, will you meet me in the courtyard? I go there to look at the stars, but I've always had to alone."

Elliot looked directly in his eyes.

"I will most certainly be there, my prince."

With that, she softly kissed his cheek and went to join her parents. SW grinned to himself and high-fived the nearest stable boy. He then accidentally bumped into the hulking palace hunter (who was simply known as Hunter, as his actual name was one of great mysteries of the kingdom). Hunter had had an irrational disdain for SW since SW was just a boy. SW tried to take it in stride, but Hunter often got to him. Hunter snapped,

"Whoa, there, Scooter, trying to bump my arm, dislocate a joint so I'll lose my livelihood? Everyone can't be a carefree little prince like you, you know. Trying to destroy me, is that your game? 'Cause I'll play it. Oh yes. "

Grrr, why does he hate me? Why can't he leave me alone? And what the heck is a scooter?

Yet SW decided not to let Hunter bring him down this time.

"Yeah, yeah, harass me all you want, but I'm in such a great mood today that nothing you say or do can spoil it! Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got things to do!"

SW happily strode away, pleased that he'd stood up to Hunter. Hunter, on the other hand, felt as though his world had been shaken. After a moment of stunned silence, he said to himself,

"He's still happy! I didn't ruin his day! He actually stood up to me! Oh, he's gonna pay. Very. Very. Dearly."

I guess I learned that taking a chance and putting yourself out there will bring you great things.

Elliot sighed dreamily to herself and eagerly started calculating how many hours remained until the time she would meet the adorable SW for a private rendezvous under the stars.

Yup, life is good. Nothing could possibly ruin my day!

King Robert sat in his chamber and called Hunter in. King Robert grinned wickedly and asked him,

"Hunter, how does 50 gold coins sound for luring the prince in the forest, mercilessly stabbing him in the back, and bringing me his heart in a pretty silver box?"

"I've actually been meaning to do it for free, but I'll take the gold."