Chapter 5: Life with the Dwarves

The dwarves decided that the attic would be a good place for SW to sleep, as it was just spacious enough. As Perry led SW up there, carrying a blanket and a pillow, and SW said,

"Thanks again for letting me stay, Perry, I..."

Perry turned to him and sternly replied,

"I'm doing because it's right, not because I want to. Big difference there. And if you don't help out or if you annoy me enough, I can throw you back out without a pang of remorse! Do I make myself clear?"

SW just nodded.

I'll break through that hard shell yet! Maybe he just needs a hug!

"And," Perry continued, "if you even think about giving me a hug, rest assured it will not end well for you!"

Scratch the hug.

The attic's ceiling was even lower than the downstairs. SW knew it would be a tight squeeze. Perry said,

"It's not exactly a luxury suite, but it's clean for an attic and you won't be here all day anyway."

"Thank you..."

"Yeah, yeah, you're welcome already! Don't oversleep! We rise at dawn, and we'll want breakfast! We can only live on the dust Jordan laughingly calls 'bread' for so long!"

Without so much a "good night", Perry left. SW looked around, and he admitted that the attic was pretty clean for what it was. Maybe a dusty, but that was easily remedied. Then he caught a glimpse of himself in a nearby, cracked mirror. SW suddenly realized how frivolously overdressed he was compared to the dwarves. So he took off his cape and blue and red vest, folded them up and put them aside. He then untucked his white shirt, and unlaced the collar. He was going to muss up his impeccable hair... but then decided against it.

I should get to keep one thing from my old life!

Satisfied, SW fluffed the pillow Perry gave him, pulled up the covers, and tried to put the unpleasant events that led him here out of his mind. For better or worse, he was safe now.

In almost no time at all, SW was accepted as part of the family. After just a mere few days, it was hard to imagine life without him.

Living with dwarves isn't always easy, especially the arrangements.

SW had to get used to crouching ever so slightly throughout the day so as not to hit his head on any more ceiling beams. SW always looked forward to them coming home, because one of them could accompany him outside so he could stand up straight and get the creaky feeling out of his back.

Still, it's kind of cool to be so handy. To them, I'm like a friendly, helpful giant.

Just from standing on a stump, SW was able to get Doug's ball dislodged from a nearby tree branch, where Perry had thrown it two years earlier. SW kept his end of the bargain, and cleaned the cottage while the dwarves were out. Never did he slack off. SW also made them their breakfast and dinners and even packed their lunches. The dwarves weren't used to fresh, hot meals, so they appreciated SW's cooking immensely.

Turk and I are already best friends forever - bffs! Whee! Another acronym! We've come up with a great new game that'll blow everyone away!

Turk would sit on SW's shoulders while SW was covered with a blanket, and Turk would cry out,

"Do not be afraid, for I am the world's tallest dwarf!"

No one was impressed, but SW and Turk were endlessly amused by it.

Another good thing is that because the dwarves work most of the day at the mines and I stay home and clean, we don't see each other often enough to get on each other's nerves.

"Newbie, you're really getting on my nerves!"

Perry's taken to calling me "Newbie". Beats being called girls' names.

"It's this disgustingly positive attitude of yours! This puppy-like obsession with getting everyone's approval, it's just sickening, Cinderella!"

I knew it was too good to last.

"Look at you! You're an orphan with a murderous stepparent and a stupid name to boot, you've earned the right to be in a bad mood once in a while! Why don't you take advantage of this right, 'cause it's exhausting always being in a bad mood for you!"

"Really? 'Cause you sure seem to enjoy it!"

SW strolled away, Perry shaking his head in annoyance.

Zing! Guess I showed him! I also enjoy learning stuff from the dwarves' lives, and I also like teaching them things from my life.

Todd approached Perry and cried,

"Perry, look what SW showed me! Raise your hand!"

Without thinking, Perry did, and Todd slapped it with a thunderous "wham!" Todd snapped his fingers after doing so.

"It's called 'giving five'! I'm gonna do it for everything from now on!"

"Lucky us," Perry mumbled, struggling not to wince from pain.

SW was surprised to find out that Turk and Carla were engaged. He asked them,

"How long have you guys been engaged?"

"Two years!" Turk cheerfully bellowed. Carla glared at him.

"Three years," she corrected.

Turk was at a loss.

"Uh, what I meant was, uh, three years have felt like just, uh, two..."

Better step in.

"Carla, you know you're his world!"

Carla rolled her eyes, then said,

"You must have a special someone in your life, Bambi."

"'Bambi?'"

"Yeah, 'cause you're so wobbly and innocent and confused, like a baby deer! Something about you just stirs up my maternal instincts."

She then looked at Turk and growled,

"Hint, hint!"

"All in good time, baby!"

SW replied,

"There was this one girl I was interested in, Princess Elliot, but…"

"All right," Turk said, "SW's gettin' some royal love!"

"That's right, Brown Bear!"

They high-fived and laughed. SW cleared his throat and continued,

"But seriously, we only knew each other a day, so it didn't mean anything. She was only visiting, and besides, her politics clashed with mine, and she was allergic to cats, which is bad, since I want cats…"

Turk and Carla gave SW knowing looks.

Oh, who am I kidding?

"She was the most awesome woman I ever met!" SW shrieked, startling Turk and Carla. "I mean, yeah, she talked about a mile a minute, stuck both feet in her mouth and was from the emotionless kingdom of Waspia, but she was cute and fun and smart! She laughed at my jokes and didn't say I was like a brother to her! And her eyes! Her eyes were the color of a clear spring sky, her lips like a newly blossomed rose, her hair flaxen strands made from the very light of the sun, and her firm li'l tushie… well, you get the idea! And because I had to run away because of almost getting killed I'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN!!"

SW nearly started sobbing when he noticed Perry, Jordan, and Laverne.

"What'd we miss?" Laverne asked.

"Are you gonna have a breakdown?" Jordan asked. "'Cause if so, I wanna watch!"

"Wow, Newbie," Perry said with a smile, "that pathetic display was almost beautiful to behold!"

Carla put her hand on SW's shoulder.

"Don't listen to him, SW, he's just bitter 'cause Jordan hasn't given him any since Rapunzel's hair was only shoulder length! And don't lose hope! Someday your princess will come!"

Todd poked his head in.

"That's what she said!"

"Todd, go away!"

SW sighed.

I know Carla was just trying to be nice, but I'll bet Elliot has forgotten all about me by now.