Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice if I did I wouldn't be writing fanfiction would I?

Attempt easy tasks as if they were difficult, and difficult as if they were easy; in the one case that confidence may not fall asleep, in the other that it may not be dismayed.

-Baltasar Gracian

Keep your heart broken

Chapter 3: Which light will come?

He was just standing by a corner when he heard the sudden mention of that female's name. He just watched from the sideline as he saw her fake another smile. He felt that she was helpless but he couldn't do anything. He didn't want to do anything to be exact. He looked down on the ground waiting for her to do something when that annoying fan-girl of his interrupted. He then turned her head and found Mikan being bullied by his annoying classmates, lead by Sumire and his best friend on his way to save her.

'Ruka here you come again to save her.' He said in his head feeling a bit disappointed. He walked a bit closer to the crowding students but far enough from the excitement. He stood by the wall resting his back while watching his other classmates. He then heard Ruka's statement on what Natsume thinks about Sumire, his so called fan club president, and gave him a reassuring smirk as a reply. He then heard Sumire make a desperate reply and now annoyed decided to burn a part of her hair. He stood there watching her run away with his best friend looking at him.

"Mikan…"he said to no one. The doorbell then rang and the scattered students started running to their classes. He felt bored and decided to let today's class pass. He turned around and made his way to a random tree and sat down. He closed his eyes and absorbed himself in darkness. He absorbed the silence to start thinking about his thoughts.

'Why am I so afraid?' he asked himself then a smiling Mikan suddenly appeared in his head.

'Why did it have to be her?' he asked himself again. 'Why am I so afraid to let her know?' he kept asking himself and with every thought a picture of Mikan kept appearing in her head. He opened his eyes and felt a light breeze pass him by. "Why am I so afraid of you?" he said to the wind hoping that the next breeze would have the answer. He closed his eyes then he saw a crying Mikan, just like when he rejected her. He quickly opened her eyes, guilt, sadness and fear all in one enveloping him again as another light breeze passed him by. 'No answer ey…I guess a decision is made.' He laughed at himself bitterly, his bangs hiding his eyes. He stood up and put his hands in his pocket.

"I guess I have no choice…"

You promised to follow the leads I will give you

She looked at the door expectantly but to much disappointment he never came in. A young teacher with light blonde hair stood in front. All the students stood up and greeted the sensei.

"Good Morning Narumi-sensei!" they all greeted in unison. She sat down after the greeting and let out an exasperated sigh. ' Natsume is cutting classes again.' She thought. She forced the thought of Natsume aside and listened to Narumi-sensei's teaching. After a few hours, lunch time arrived. She tried her best to sound like her cheerful self and forced a smile.

"Yuu! What happened in class yesterday?" She asked with a small smile.

"So our little idiot is back." Interrupted a familiar feminine voice.

"Oh Hotaru you're so cruel!" Mikan whined at the girl with a playful smile on her lips.

"Whatever idiot." Hotaru stated dully and went back to her invention.

"Hey Mikan we should ask you, what happened yesterday?" Yuu asked in a playful voice thinking that Mikan wouldn't take it seriously. He stared at the silent girl for a while and noticed the sudden sadness that enveloped her eyes. "Nothing." She simply said in almost a whisper. She looked up again forcing a smile.

"Hey Ruka wanna have lunch together? You don't mind Hotaru do you?" She asked the boy then the girl with enough energy to hide the sudden sadness she showed the others.

"Silence at last." Hotaru simply said back still in her emotionless tone.

"Ok Mikan let's go." Ruka replied to Mikan with a smile. (A/n: wasn't that a little fast Hotaru and Yuu: that's a new record…hehe)

You said you would crawl in the dark from the laughter…

You said you would long after me ever after…

He motioned his body to make its way out into the open but he suddenly lost control. He stopped dead on his track when he got intoxicated with that smell, the sweet, elegant yet subtle smell that reminded him yet again of her. His feet led him deeper into the northern forest, Her scent reaching him more and more with each step. He then happened to catch a glimpse of not only the brunette but along with her was a boy with blonde locks. He stopped behind the tree hiding from the pair's view.

He noticed the silence and sadness that enveloped them. 'Ruka here you go again…' he thought to himself in a defeating tone, as he sighed inwardly. He decided to just leave them and started walking away. He was mentally slapped when he heard her trembling voice, asking the question that tortured him so.

"Ruka, does Natsume really hate me?"

He laughed at himself. He continued walking away. He then asked himself the question which he knew had the most obvious answer. " Do I really hate you Mikan?"

My love will grow black if your heart gets stolen…

Mikan walked along side with Ruka her smile never fading her face. She tilted her head a bit and looked at Ruka, the boy expectantly glanced at her with raised eyebrows in confusion. She giggled a bit at Ruka who got confused more.

"Hey Ruka wanna go to the Northern forest?" she asked.

"Why?" the boy asked.

"I don't know…just to talk." Mikan said simply still trying her best to be cheerful. Ruka noticed her façade and just agreed forcing himself to smile at her. She took hold of his hand and led him to the northern forest.

I said I must go, I must face this disaster….

Two figures sat under a tree quietly eating. The blonde boy with glasses decided to lighten up the silence with a question his been meaning to ask.

"Hey Hotaru?" He started and got a dull glance as a reply.

"Why didn't you ask Mikan what happened?" he asked again.

"She wanted to tell Ruka first I have nothing against that…" she paused for a bit. "don't worry she'll tell us…soon I hope." She finished when she noticed a rather tall teen was walking their way. Yuu looked around when he noticed Hotaru staring at the distance and also saw him. The teen stood in front of them with that playful grin on his face.

"Tsubasa-sempai? What are you doing here?" Yuu asked.

I said I would come after you ever after…

Two other figures also sat under a tree but a different tree. The brunette was sitting rather close to the blonde. The silence was rather comforting and the passing wind every few minutes kept them cool.

"Ruka, does Natsume really hate me?" she asked the blonde, her voice trembling a bit.

"Why?" He asked worryingly. Mikan was somehow unable to answer and kept her gaze on the ground.

"What happened the other day Mikan?" he asked a bit serious. She looked up at him with a sad smile.

"Ruka-pyon I never thought that rejection would hurt so much." She said as she closed her eyes trying her best to keep the tears. She then felt a tight grip on her hand. She opened her eyes and looked down on her hand was Ruka's. He gripped on her tightly.

"Ruka do you think it's wrong to fall in love?" she asked him feeling more helpless. He tightened her grip on her. " He said he hated me for smiling…isn't that funny." She stated laughing helplessly at herself. "Is that so wrong?" she asked him again.

"Did you know when I made mistakes Natsume always told me this 'Every action is never wrong, it's just how people look at the results', so no I don't think falling in love is wrong." He said looking down at her with a smile.

"Thanks Ruka, You're the best!" She said feeling a bit better and gave Ruka a hug and he also returned the hug. 'Natsume why?' Ruka asked himself. "Mikan I'm so sorry I have to go urgent business." Ruka said to Mikan while bidding farewell, Mikan only smiled back.

My love will grow black if your heart gets stolen

Just promise to keep your heart broken…

There he was again under the tree he was a few minutes ago. He felt pathetic, useless and dare he say it idiotic. He was standing and has been punching the tree here and there with bare hands. He was infuriated. He wanted to pass time and decided to keep punching the old tree than rather burning it. If he did burn the tree, people would come and ask questions and he did not want any people contact right now. Before the last blow on the poor tree he heard footsteps and quickly turned around.

"Oi Natsume!" the blonde said rather seriously. He just turned around once more and executed the last punch on the poor tree once more.

"Why didn't you tell me?" the boy asked him. He didn't answer, he decided to just walk away while he can.

" Why in hell Natsume!" the boy half-screamed at him, trying his best to be calm as he can be. Natsume stopped, he knew better than to anger Ruka, he might end up hurting Ruka more than he wanted to. He turned around and watched him walk closer to him.

" Because…" He started when he felt a strong grip on his collar.

"Why did you have to tell her you hated her!" he exclaimed looking down on the ground.

"She could've lived her life without knowing that!" he said to him as tears uncontrollably fell. " I don't want to hurt you Natsume but I can't afford to lose the girl that changed both our lives." He stated as he broke down crying but not loosing his grip on him.

" It was because I was afraid…" He started. Ruka looked up at him."…afraid that if I took the leap of faith I would hurt her and myself in the process, I might not be able to mend her wounds, I might not be able to protect her, I'm too afraid to lose her…" he stopped again as a lonely tear fell down his cheek."…and I might not be the one for her." He finished as Ruka pulled his grip away from him.

"So what are you gonna do now?" Ruka asked him.

"I've already made the decision to…

One day I'll come back if the door still open…

Just promise to keep your heart broken…

Mikan walked through the Northern forest silently. She was thinking about what Ruka said and what she should be doing. 'I promised to wait a little bit longer but should I stop now?' she asked herself with a sad smile. She then closed her eyes not caring what might happen next. After sometime of blind walking, she accidentally tripped over a rather large tree root on the ground. Her eyes opened wide from the sudden out of balance and all she saw was blue water making contact with her front body and slowly devouring her deep into it. The blue surrounding slowly turned into a much darker black. She tried moving pain but it cause painful aches from different parts of her body and decided to just stay still. She was losing her breath very fast and as she flowed deeper she was forced to gasp causing silent bubles to emit and flow to the surface. She felt helpless, the feeling of coldness was slowly growing throughout her body. She looked up at the fading light and then heard a splash that almost didn't reach her ears. She looked around causing pain to go through her body from the sudden movement and saw a vague, dark figure making it's way to save her.

'Yuu, Hotaru, Ruka…who are you?' she thought in her head. As the mysterious figure made it's way she slowly felt the heat growing more and more in a comfortable manner.

Before she could do anything she choked from the lack of air . 'Natsume I wonder if that was you?' she asked to herself with a small smile as one last thought entered her mind before she welcomed unconsciousness. The faint voice of his savior calling her name.

"Mikan!"

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A/n: I'm sorry if ever anyone will get confused with this chapter but the next chapter will answer all your questions. But I'm still not sure whats gonna happen but I am sure of one thing, the ending! Anyway I'm sorry Skaey I couldn't wait any longer I had to update I was rather exited with this chapter hehe. So sorry for the wrong grammar!

Anway, where did I get the in between Lines: This story was inspired by a song titled, Keep Your Heart Broken by The Rasmus. It's really meaningful I'll e using the whole lyrics of the song in my next chapter or so. I am currently very crazy over there albums.

I'm so sorry if I'm making this too sad If you don't like it please do say so in the review. I'm so sorry my twisted mind just keeps coming up of so many sad ideas. Anyway would you people like me to upload my new Idea :

To the end of humanity - If love is never ending, and life is just a part of eternity is the mind just really a part of our body. Is the heart only a muscle. Will I lose my head over you and lose all sanity and follow you up to the end of Humanity. N x M (AU)

Anyway thanks to all the readers and reviewers:

cant wait for your reviews!

Winter fall63