Chapter 5 is finally up. I would just like to say thanks for all the review, I love them and you too. This is the first time I got a lot of reviews, all my other stories all I got was like one. So thanks again for reviewing my story.

Warning for Next Chapter: Lets just say that Jack does something that people think EMOs do all the time. cuts

Chapter 5: Freak out

Suddenly it hit me like a brick wall. My eyes widened at the thought of who it was… ME. He knew me for ten years. Everyone else he known for much longer. I dropped my fork onto my plate. I just stared at Bobby dumbfounded and shocked. That explains why he's been all close to me, lately. But that doesn't explain why I felt like it wasn't strange when he was undressing me earlier. I don't like him like that, I hope, I like him as the brother I never has when I was younger.

Bobby looked down at his plate in shame. I guess he really didn't mean to say that. I wounded how long he has had those feeling for me, if he liked me when I was mine, he would have been a child pervert. I just hoped that, that was just a recent thing.

A thought came to mind, what if he was talking about someone else. He could of met someone then years ago, and hasn't seen them for a while. Yeah I had to make sure, though.

"Bobby?" he looked up a little at me. "Is it me? Am I the one you…?"

Bobby gave me a slight nod. I just stared at him. How could this be? Why me? I never let him in, I always shut him out. I did that to everyone. This isn't right, no. Over the years I considered him to be my blood brother, now I don't even consider him my friend. It's just wrong, all of it.

"Bobby, what the hell is wrong with you?" my voice rose with anger. "You are fucking sick. I'm your brother, maybe not by blood but still. How long have you had these feeling for me? The whole time you known me or just in the past couple of years or just recent?"

"Fiver years now. I know it's wrong, believe me. I've been over it in my head, for two years. I've tried to talking myself out of it, I've gone far as to physically hurt myself when I felt or though that way. I knew and still know its very wrong, but I can't help it. If I could get rid of these feeling for you , I would, but I can't." Bobby looks serious but I didn't believe his tale.

"It's real hard for me to believe you. For the years that I've known you, if you had the slightest feeling for anything, you never let it go. An example is when I told you to stop the car. You told me to 'shut up and sit back', and kept on going after them without a second thought. We could have just waited till the blizzard passed then go and find them."

"I was just being hot-headed, you know that."

"No, I don't. you've always gone by how you felt. I did when I was younger, of course I've always felt scared, and so I acted to my feeling. Today you did just that. All you had to do was help me with my shirt, but you undid my pants too. You felt I couldn't do it on my own, so you went and did it." I was for once in my life getting angry at Bobby to the point I was yelling at him. I hated myself for it, I hate yelling.

"I promise you, jack. I didn't want to have these feeling. I want to love you as a brother not a lover. If you want I will swear that on the Bible." He was so calm about this.

"I wouldn't believe you then! Hell Bobby I've had crushes on a few guys but never my brothers." I can't deny it any longer, I'm bi. I had a few crushes but that's it. People around here would fuck you up if you were gay or even bi.

"I knew it, I knew you liked boys!" Bobby seemed to be happier at that.

"But I'm gay as you said I was, and that's the point. The point is you are… words can't describe what you are. All I'm going to say is this, stay away from me." I got up and limped my way into the living room.

I sat down on the couch. I turned on the T.V and changed the channel to Animal Planet. The crocodile hunter was on. . Bobby cleaned off the table. He was sitting there lying to me. He doesn't want to forget his feeling for me. He always wanted to go on what or how he feels at the time. It was bugging me. How could I live with him now, knowing he wants to… ew. I don't want to think about it.

Bobby walked into the living room and took a seat in the arm chair. "Jack." I turned up the volume to the T.V. "Jack? We need to talk more about this. It's eating my up for saying what I said and you're bottling up your feeling, and it isn't good for you."

I didn't respond to him. I said what I wanted to say to him. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I want it to just die and be another bad memory. That's what I was filled up with, bad memories of any and everything that happened to me.

"Jack!" Bobby got a little louder. "Talk to me, please. I can't let this end this way." Still not talking. "Fine." He just sat there watching Animal Planet's funniest animals.

I feel asleep half way through the show. That terrible day played in my head.

The door bell rang. I got up to answer the door. A guy walked away from the house. Me getting angry. A snow ball hit me in the face. I ran after him. He stopped. The gun fired. I fell down. Blood pouring out of my wound. The shooter had six bullet holes. A van stopped. A group of men got out. Running towards my brothers. Falling down into the snow. Screamed out foe Bobby. I rolled onto my back. My brothers all around me. Sad faces…

I shot up grabbing onto the closest thing to me. That damn day. I hated it. I don't want that in my memory any more. It kills more each day. Part of me is glade, the other hates it. I'm torn between wanting to die and live. To die because I have nothing to live for anymore. I can't do anything right. All I'm good for if target practice or to relieve sexual tension. To live because of I don't want to leave my brothers, even if one is in love with me. I just don't know what to do.

The thing I held onto moved. I looked up at it. It was Bobby. It never fails; Bobby's always there when I needed someone. He took a seat next to me. I laid my head down on his shoulder.

It was weird when I grabbed him, he didn't hug me. Normally he would and I would of felt safe, nothing could hurt me. Now I felt alone and one simple thing could and would hurt me. I wanted to feel safe, but he's not willing to, probably because of what I've said to him. I don't blame him, not at all.

"Bobby?" I asked, but got no response. He was doing the same thing I did to him. I didn't care, I needed to talk about it even if he didn't talk back, I just really needed to do this. I need to let out my feelings about what happened to me, other wise I'm going to make myself sick. "I really don't care if you're listing to me or not, but I have to get this off my chest,

"I thought I was going to die. When you guys didn't came. I feared you all died. When I opened that door, I didn't think anything of it. When he called my a 'whore' I got so pissed that I didn't think. He threw a hard snow ball at me. I wanted to hurt him. Hurt him so bad because he hurt with what he called mom. Then he pulled out that gun, I felt guilty. Guilty of doing what I did and to all the things I put people through.

"When that bullet hit, it felt extremely bad. I don't even remember how it felt then. Then you guys came out and the guy was pointing the gun at my head. All I thought was this is the end, then you shot him. I was glade but then that van came. I wanted so badly to be with you guys. I got shot again. That was worse if memory serves. That's when I started to feel guilty for leaving you guys. You don't know how bad I needed you. Thinking of it now I was being selfish.

"My whole life flashed before my eyes. Everything from being abused, every which way, then to Evelyn taking me in, how I was, what I did in high school, then to what I wanted to do. I wanted to get married, have kids, leave this hell hole, and become a famous Rockstar, and having you as my brother forever.

"Then you came. I tired so hard to do what you asked me to do, but I couldn't. my life was going fast. You sad face made me think back, and that made me feel like shit. I hate you know for it, I hate you all for starting that whole mess. Jerry was the smart one, nor getting into it… right away. I was stupid to follow you and Angel. Come to think of it, I never done what I thought was right. I've always done what others told me to do. That stopped the day I got shot. I'm now going to think for myself. No ones going to make or tell me other wise."

The whole time Bobby didn't say a word. He was either still mad at me, letting me have my word, or asleep. Either way I was glade to get that off my chest. I haven't expressed myself openly before. Every time I would have I'd get beaten or locked up.

It felt nice, sitting here. It was so quiet that I feel asleep on Bobby's shoulder.

Yay chapter 5 hoped you liked it.