Chapter Nine: 2 ½ Months Later

It's been two in a half months since I've been in this hell hole. The whole time I was here, I've been chained up. I was chained in every session and in the cafeteria. They never took off my mask, except when I was eating. They also keep me in the straightjacket, just so I wouldn't hurt myself.

Ah, I've been through so much these last couple of months. I've improved with my mental state. I no longer want to kill myself, well not for the reason like me being useless, and not for all my foster parents did to me. I did for what I've done to myself. The drugs and not following my will. I've learned to express myself so I don't take my life. Dr, G told me to write a letter to myself, then burn it.

I've been able to walk without a need to lean on someone or something. I can run for ten minutes before my knee starts to hurt. My shoulder it's well too. I can lift up to five pound weights, which sucks because I use to lift thirty. I can push or shove with my shoulder without it hurting. Only time it does is when I kept in the straightjacket.

In these months I've been here I've drew lots of pictures and stories. My pictures at first started out pretty gruesome. They then slowly turned to peaceful were I'm free and somewhat happy. For the last few weeks I've been drawing my brothers, mostly Bobby. My stories were the same as my drawings. I did write a story/song of my feeling towards my oldest brother.

Speaking of my oldest brother, I've come to realize my true feeling for him. I came to terms with that I'm in love with him. After a month of being her I had a long talk with myself. After weeks of arguing with me, that's when I came to terms. I also realized I fell in love with him since he told me that he loved me. I hated myself for a while but I got through it.

James entered my room. He came towards me then he undid my straightjacket. He then helped me stand up.

"Dr. Whin would like to speak with you, Jacks." That's James' nickname for me. In the time here we became close friends. He helped me with my knee and shoulder. He also kept me company even if I didn't want it. "I lover your pictures man. I wish I could draw like that." He said looking around.

"Thanks."

We left my room. We walked the three minutes walk to Dr. Whin's room. James helped me sit down as Dr. W walked in with my files. James patted me on the back then left.

"Good to see you, Mr. Mercer." She opened the file. "So how do you feel today? Any bad thoughts or nightmares?"

"It's the same as the last time you asked me. I still have nightmares that never go away, even it I was put in a trance or on meds." I replied.

She sighed. "How have you improved? Your writing, 'cause you never let me see them. Also your drawing?"

"Everything's peachy. I see everyone who as hurt me still hurt me when I look at my new pictures. I mask bad things up by good things in my writings. Only things I've done that was good was when I confessed my feeling for my eldest brother. It makes me feel at ease. I'm in love with my brother!" I quickly threw my hands over my mouth. I didn't mean to say that to her.

Dr. G knew, but she told me it's normal to love the ones who's always been there for you. Bobby always has.

Dr. W's mouth fell open. She quickly regained herself. "In love, love with him?" I didn't answer. "You lover him like a lover don't you?" I looked away. "Ew. I want you to leave this office. I don't want to see you in my room again, you filthy fagot."

I got up and ran out of her office. I ran all the way back to my room. On the way, I ran past James. He tired to stop me to see if I was alright, because I started to cry by then. I just pushed past him. I entered my room and slammed the door behind me.

I threw myself onto my bed and buried my face in the pillow. My tears fell onto the pillow. I couldn't believe she called me a fag. They aren't supposed to say stuff like that. Aren't they suppose to keep their opinions to themselves? They are to make you feel good right?

A soft knock sounded. I just ignored it. The door clicked opened after I didn't respond. My left side went down slightly due to who ever sat down. A hand was placed on my back.

"I heard what happened. What Lenda said was out of line." Lenda was Dr. W's name. The person who spoke was Dr. G. I know her voice anywhere. "Don't feel ashamed to cry in front of me. I think it's good to let it out, just not in a violent way. Do you want to talk about it?" Her voice was so gentle.

I sat up. I looked into her eyes then way. I took a deep breath and told her everything that had happened to me. From birth father all the way till I slit my wrists. Oh I forgot to tell you. My wrists were now healed. The only reminder was very light pink scars that were very visible too.

"Oh, Jackie. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that happened to you. No one should ever experience that. Those men should burn in hell for their hanest crimes."

I shrugged my shoulders. What's it matter? There's no chance that some of them will stay in prison for much longer. They have connections with judges so they'd get a less harsh sentence.

"It's very good thing that Evelyn took you in. she was a special woman. She had so many foster kids staying with her and she found them all loving homes."

"You knew her?" I asked confused.

"Yes. She was my younger sister." No wonder I liked her so much. "I think it was a good thing what you and your brothers did. If it weren't for you then them gangsters would still be in the streets. Yawl were like the four angels of Justice. Angel of love, angel of knowledge, angel of bravery, and the angel of judgment."

--Two weeks later—

Two weeks after I talked with Dr. G, Saraha. I got word I get to go home. Dr. G saw it fit to take over my case and thought I made great progress in those two weeks. Before I go home I have to finish my sessions. So I'd be going home late, like around seven or so. Words can't describe how bittersweet I am. I've come to love Dr. G like my one true Aunt and James as a best friend. I guess I could always visit them or them me.

My first session was art. Dr. G wanted me to do what I loved to do. I drew two pictures. One for Dr. G and one for James. Dr. G's was a beautiful orange cat with big green eyes. The cat had darker orange strips all along its back. The cat it's self was on its back playing with a pink, blue, and purple butterfly. Surrounding the cat was long dark lushes green grass. A clear baby blue sky above. The last touch I did was scribbled my name in the right hand corner.

James picture was a pride of golden lions. In the back was a big male lion. His mane was a dark brown. He face was that of a noble and brave. The lioness laid all around their king, cleaning and or sleeping. Herds of animals in the back ground. Low sandy grass lands and weird trees surrounded the pride.

Next class was writing class. Dr. W, she just ignored me. I didn't care. I just wrote a story for Dr, G. it was about a guardian angel sent down from the heavens to have a lost boy. It tells off all she's done to help and how he is found.

At dinner I was offered, don't think wrong of me but, I got an all vegan meal. I've changed my ways of eating. I could no longer eat anything with a face. Of I did I'd remember what all happened to me and how that animal felt right before it died. Any who, my meal was an all soy loaf with all organic sauce and potatoes.

After dinner I was placed in a small room to await my brother. I was practically jumping in my seat. I was so excited to see my family. I just wanted to tell them how much I loved them and shower the, in hugs and kisses. (Sounds corny I know.)

The door squeaked opened and my head shot towards the sound. Walked in was Bobby. I jumped from my chair and jumped up on Bobby. I planted a kiss onto Bobby's lips. As soon as I did this he pushed me away. I backed away from him confused. Did he not want this anymore?

"Jack why did you do that?" Hit me just hit me. He doesn't love like that anymore.

"I'm sorry. Bobby. I didn't mean to do that. I was just so excited to see you." Boy did I feel dumb. Once I find my feeling for him, he turns his off for me. That's sadden me.

Bobby chuckled. "It's alright Jackie. Let's got get you things and get the hell out of here."

We went to my room. I gathered up my draws off the walls and out them in a bag Bobby brought with him. Bobby looked around at my pictures as I took them down. I left out the ones for Dr. G and James. I was just about to pack my writings when I saw Bobby reading a story to wrote for him to express my feelings. I sat down on my bed with my head bowed. I was not sure how he would react to the story.