All Are Parents!
Summary: The Naruto gang are all parents! "Say, Sakura, I wanna play," "Sasuke, I said no! For goodness sake-" "Tenten, your baby's puke!" "Tatsuya! Come back here!" "Mom, Kaida burnt the kitchen!" "Why can't I have a girlfriend?!" Oh, the frustration!
Contents: Humor, Parent life, mild cursing and some lusty thoughts
Chappy Two: Training Tits!
Almost every Uchiha knows that Jin was vying to be the best among the rest; just like his father did when Sasuke was fourteen. Jin was always found training from cock-crow to night with Sasuke if he was free, and if Sasuke wasn't, he either trained with Tatsuya or his siblings, who were also able to be declared as strong. Sometimes, he trained with his mother and tried to master himself in chakra control and chakra-detecting. However, Jin dreaded going training with his teammates and training teacher. There were a few, solid and acceptable reasons why he hated being a part of Team 6. Sure, having an extremely skilled sensei with amazing fighting techniques was good, having teammates to help you becoming stronger is kinda alright, but apart from training advantages, nothing can be considered okay if it involved Jin's team.
The first reason is about Jin's sensei. And guess who it is? Rock Lee. Yes, that's right – no, you're not hearing things – do not faint on my beautifully polished floor, baka! Ooops, sorry. Right, so Jin's sensei is Rock Lee, the self-proclaimed handsome junior green beast of Konoha full of youthfulness, apart from Maito Gai. One would say that having Rock Lee was better than having to endure Maito Gai, but in Jin's opinion Maito Gai was better. For one, Rock Lee never, NEVER ever, ever forgot to give his students the flashing, toothy grin that almost made them blind; he was always changing the scenery into a reddish sunset background that made Jin awfully annoyed, and he was always rambling and shouting and screeching about youthfulness.
Youth, youth, springtime of youth, happiness, youth, youth, youth, beautiful summer of youthfulness, youth, youth, and so on. What angered Jin most was that Rock Lee often lectured him about youthfulness and crying in front of him to not be as un-youthful as his father. Jin nearly punched his sensei for insulting Sasuke, but then his father just smirked when he told Sasuke what Rock Lee said. More surprisingly, the chicken-butt-haired man (Can't help it) wasn't even offended!
For the second reason, Jin had a really, really talkative teammate by the name Nara Keitaro. Keitaro was the eldest son of Nara Shikamaru and Nara Ino. He was nine months younger than Jin and he loved to talk a lot. Mostly, he opened his mouth to speak about everything under the sun and teasing Jin, especially on Uzumaki Mika. Nara Keitaro had long black hair tied into a ponytail and he had dull black eyes like his father. Keitaro liked playing shougi and chess, but he was energetic unlike Shikamaru. If there was one thing he loved to tease to Jin, it was about their female teammate, Uzumaki Mika.
Uzumaki Mika is thirteen years old and her parents were Uzumaki Naruto and Uzumaki Hinata, a former member of the noble Hyuuga Clan. She had shoulder length blueberry-hair like her mother and cerulean blue eyes like her father's. However, although how pretty she looked from the outside, she was very different from her shy and timid mother. Mika was feisty and rough yet adorable and immature and extremely childish, and she doesn't accept nuisance or stupid, namby-pamby attitudes. She's strict and was a version of Jin's mother, Sakura.
Even Naruto, her father had pointed out that she can be an amazing and also scary basketball coach. Despite that, Mika loved spending time with Sachiko. She's Sachiko's best friend, and Jin pretty much had a crush on her. One of the reasons was that she behaved unlike his fan girls, and she would retort childishly whenever he labeled her as 'annoying'. Keitaro was always making lovey-dovey motions concerning him and Mika when she's absent; which resulted to a highly embarrassed Jin.
And thus, when all these characters were combined; Jin was forced to bear his sensei's stupid youthfulness, his friend's talkative, empty rambles and restraining himself from kissing his crush.
One morning, he woke up early again and went straight to the kitchen for breakfast. His mother, Sakura was already preparing lunch and he sat on the chair beside his father.
"Jin, can you wake Tatsuya up?" Sakura asked him.
"No way, he'll just snore at me with his ugly breath," Jin muttered.
"Sachiko, can you-"
"He'll squeeze my boobs again, thinking they're pau," She muttered.
"Umm...Alright, if you say so...I'll wake him up later. Where's Gin-chan?"
"Outside," Sasuke answered. "Catching chickens,"
"Oh,"
Bak-bak-bak! Cock! Cock! Bak-bak! (Spare me from this crazy chicken-slaughterer! God, have mercy!!)
"Come back you () chicken! I want to eat you, you hear me! I want chicken curry!!"
"Where's Miako-chan, then?" Sakura asked, trying to change the subject.
"She's still sleeping with Tatsuya," Sasuke muttered.
"Jin, did you check if Miako-chan accidentally urinated on the mattress?"
"MOM!! MIAKO-CHAN PISSED ON ME FACE!" Tatsuya shouted suddenly.
"Alright!" Jin shouted. "God loved me today!"
"And me!" Sachiko shouted as well.
"Hi-Five!" Both twins shouted ecstatically, slapping each others' palms.
"IT'S NOT SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT!" Tatsuya shouted again.
"Of course it is baka!" Gin shouted from outside.
Whilst the Uchiha youngsters were clearly creating havoc on breakfast; Sasuke continued on reading his paper, ignoring the children and Sakura went to Tatsuya's room to clean up the mess. Miako was as happy as ever but her pants were wet and so was Tatsuya's bed. Tatsuya's face was covered with yellowish liquid known as 'urine'.
"Mom, she pissed on me!" He spluttered. Miako just laughed.
"Don't blame on your sister, she doesn't mean to do that," Sakura said, wiping the urine out of Tatsuya's face with a wet cloth.
She tickled Miako and said, "Miako-chan didn't mean to do it, right?"
Miako giggled and she squeezed her mother's breasts again. She loved doing so, her mother's boobs were so big and round and soft and fluffy!!
"Kyaaah!" Sakura screamed softly.
Jin wore his sandals and said, "I'm going for training! Fuzzybrows is asking us to come early today,"
"Jin, don't call him F – Kyaaah! Miako-chan, please don't do that!"
"I'm going too," Sachiko said, grabbing a croissant. "Bye, mom, dad! Gin, stop catching the chickens and go have some breakfast,"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever!"
"If you don't come in now, dad'll force you to eat lettuces for dinner,"
"What am I, a rabbit? I'm his daughter, for God's sake!"
BAM!
"Come back here, you stupid bird-brained clump of feathers!"
Bak, bak, bak! (No way, foolish chicken-killer!)
"I can understand chicken language and I heard that!!"
Cock, ba, cock bak bak! (WTF?)
"Don't WTF me!!"
Cock Cock, bak! (She's serious!)
"Of course I am!" Gin shouted, throwing a kunai.
"OWW!! GIN!"
"Sorry, Jin!"
"I am so gonna have you eat spinach!"
"I'm not a stupid herbivore, idiot!"
"Gin-chan, can you come inside and eat your breakfast? No, Miako – Kyaaah!"
---
"GOOD JOG, TEAM!!" Rock Lee boomed. "All of you managed to come early today! Congratulations on your youthfulness! I have some good news to tell all of you today! We will be having a survival test to see how strong you are. As you can see," He motioned his hand to a place full of traps and dangerous weapons. "I have compiled and set a variety of tests and challenge course you will have to face. Whoever wins the first place will be awarded a stylish green spandex like mine!" Suddenly, he pulled out something that looked like a slimy green suit – like the ones people wear for diving; only it's green.
Lee smiled his toothy grin, not noticing the fact that his students were grossed to see the green spandex. However, they were determined to win the first place for the test.
"You will begin on the count of three," Lee said. "One, two, three, GO!!"
The three students hurriedly went to the course. They had to find a key amidst all the booby-traps, which were mostly invisible strings tied between trees (if you step on them it will explode), fight Lee's strong shadow clones; pass through a deep lake also full of traps and genjutsus to hypnotize them to drown in the lake, and so on. The test was kind of hard, but the three of them refused to admit so and tried their best to get to the end of the survival exercise. At first, it seemed like Jin was going to be the first, but something unexpected happened that caused him to be the last.
Whilst he was crossing the lake, he accidentally groped Mika's bottom, mistaking it for something else. She screamed and gave him a mighty slap that caused him to fly all the way back to the starting line.
"What the heck are you doing, Jin?"
"No! Wait! It's not what you think!!"
"Take this, you stupid womanizer!!"
SLAP!
Pshieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww!
"And don't come back!"
When the test was finished, Mika angrily poof-ed back home without saying a word to Jin. Keitaro was laughing his hearts content and Lee was lecturing Jin about his un-youthfulness.
"You must realize, Jin, that your youthfulness is incredibly low! To have to touch a woman's private is a shameful thing to do! You should be embarrassed and ashamed of your behavior! And to think I thought you'd be far more responsible than your father! I don't know what Naruto will do if he finds out -"
"..."
Although Keitaro was still laughing as they returned from their training, he had a few words of comfort to Jin.
"Don't worry," He said between pants of laughter. "You know how Mika is; she'll come back later to apologize,"
Jin was still looking surly.
"Come on, Jin. It's not like you didn't enjoy it,"
Jin looked coldly at Keitaro, but the Nara could make out the small patches of pink on his pale cheeks. Then, he sighed.
"Mika'll be damn pissed with me," he muttered.
"What's done is done," Keitaro said wisely. "You'll just have to worry about what your siblings will say about that mark on your cheek. Tatsuya is going to laugh himself silly,"
"I hate you."
"Well, don't hate me, just hate Tatsuya then!"
Jin sighed.
"I hate my life..."
"You have a way of showing it," Keitaro said laughingly.
"Shut the hell up,"
"I can't," He said again, laughing.
"Just fuck off,"
"Chill, Uchiha."
Somewhere in the Konoha grounds, Tatsuya sneezed. Most unfortunately, he sneezed in front of one of his teammate, and easily angered Hyuuga right in front of his face.
"Tatsuya," Hyuuga Akio said dangerously. "Would you please be as polite as to NOT TO SNEEZE IN FRONT OF SOMEBODY'S FACE!"
Tatsuya grinned apologetically, saying, "Sorry, Akio, blame the sneeze for making me sneeze."
Akio bonked Tatsuya's head angrily. As the second eldest son of Hyuuga Neji and Tenten, Akio possessed most of his father's attitude, but he had his mother's anger. Like Tenten, Akio loved squashing people's head with his foot severely and kicking their heads. Akio, similar to his elder brother Suzuki looked exactly like Neji. Although Akio can be silent, he liked torturing people just for the fun of it. Tatsuya was one of his favorite targets. Since Akio was good-looking, let's say he had fans who wanted to tear his clothes of and rape him.
"Come on Akio," said Makoto, Naruto's eldest son. "He doesn't mean it,"
Makoto was extremely a different case than all of his friends. While most of them followed their father's attitude, Makoto was quiet yet polite like his mother, Hinata. He's very responsible and he listened first before voicing out his opinion. He's the goody-goody two shoes among all of his wild friends, and he's always losing for the sake of his friends. Makoto was every girl's dream gentleman, and because of his politeness and the looks he inherited from his father you could say he was kinda hot. However, he was as cheerful as his father even he didn't inherit Naruto's hyperactive-ness.
"Makoto, you can't give a chance to a moron like him," Akio said. "You're too soft! Can't you kick him or something?"
"I'm afraid I can't," he answered cheerfully.
"What about you, Akio? Why can't you be as forgiving as Makoto?" Tatsuya asked.
"Why don't you stop being an absolute idiot, foolish teammate?"
"You sound like my damned uncle!"
"Guys...Kakashi-sensei's here!"
"About time!" Both said.
Kakashi appeared as happy as he used to be, he was still addicted to Icha-Icha and he waved a cheery hello towards his students. Just like what he did to his old students, he lied about his tardiness.
"You see, when I'm walking to this destination my leg broke because this alligator suddenly bit it, and suddenly a big hawk swooped over me and brought me to her nest and tried to feed me to her children; but thanks to my greatness I survived-"
"We don't have alligators in Konoha!! " Tatsuya said irritably.
"Why can't you just come early?" Akio mumbled.
"You two," Kakashi said, faking a sigh. "Why can't you be like Makoto? See how nice he is,"
"Don't change the subject, old man!!" Tatsuya said.
"OLD MAN?" Kakashi repeated, flabbergasted. "I'm not OLD!!"
"Of course you're not, you're an old fraud," Akio said.
Kakashi burst into crocodile tears.
"What about Jiraiya?"
"The Rokudaime himself said that that guy's a stupid old pervert!"
"It's not nice to say that to a respected legendary Sannin,"
"Hear, hear," Kakashi said happily.
"Makoto, you should agree with your dad!!" Akio said.
"Makoto, stop defending guilty people!!"
"I'm sorry, Tatsuya,"
"That's better."
"Hey you guys," Kakashi said. "Want to know a funny thing that happened today?"
"Save it, grandpa,"
"I am not a grandpa!! And no, it's for real!" Kakashi retorted. He smirked as his students neared him with interest.
---
Jin arrived home later than anyone else; partly because he spent a long time talking with Keitaro and that he went to sulk and looked back at his long, hard fate – especially the one involving him and Uzumaki Mika. Sakura noticed something funny on Jin's cheek when the said boy sat on the couch, looking as silent as his father.
"Jin, what's wrong with your cheek?" Sakura asked gently. Jin tensed up as everybody peered towards him.
"It's nothing, mom," He grunted.
"It looks like fingerprints to me," Gin butted in suddenly.
"Fingerprints?" Sachiko said.
"What happened here?" Sasuke said.
"Somebody slapped Jin!!" Tatsuya said, and he roared with laughter. Apparently, he was resisting himself from bursting just now, but then he couldn't take it and spilled the secret out. Jin looked utterly perplexed. "Kakashi-sensei said that Maito Gai-sensei said that Kurenai-sensei said that Fuzzybrows said that Mika slapped him!"
"Really?"
"Yeah! He groped Mika's butt!"
Jin went bright red.
"Ooooh, pervert!" Gin said. Sachiko giggled.
Sakura looked worried.
"W-why did you do that to her?"
"I-it was an accident, I swear!! I-I thought it was something else!!" Jin said defensively.
"Jin is a pervert, Jin is a pervert, Jin is a pervert..." Sachiko, Tatsuya and Gin sang.
"I DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE!!"
"Sannin tomo, yamete desu," Sakura said, and her children stopped rather reluctantly. She faced Jin and smiled. "Don't worry, Jin, I know you're innocent,"
"O f course he isn't mom-" Tatsuya said, but he was cut across when the door was knocked.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?" Sakura asked curiously, opening the door. Mika was standing outside, shuffling her hands. She was blushing. Jin turned tomato red instantly.
"Hello, Mika-chan," Sakura said pleasantly. "Please, come inside,"
"U-umm, no thank you, I-I just wanted to apologize to Jin f-for slapping him," Mika said nervously. "Sorry, Jin,"
"Hn, that's...OK," Jin said, trying to act normal. His face wasn't tomato red already.
When Mika was gone, Jin passed out with a bleeding nose. All Sachiko could do was laugh.
"I think he's happy his crush is communicating and sending back her love," She said laughingly. Gin and Sakura giggled.
"Love! Love!" Miako cried happily. Wow, for once this baby said positive words – now that's a record.
"Shut the hell up," Jin said in a muffled voice.
"I think he's happy he slapped Mika's butt in the first place," Tatsuya said, still laughing. "What a sly pervert..."
BAM! BAM! BAM!
"I'm sorry," Tatsuya whimpered towards a fuming Jin.
---
As the havoc was cleared and everything turned back to normal, Sasuke walked to Jin and requested to talk to him in private. Tatsuya tired to butt in but was unsuccessful when Sasuke said that Gin was teaching curses to Miako. Sasuke brought Jin and both sat at the roof of the Uchiha Mansion, facing the sky which was decorated with lovely glittering stars.
"Dad, what's the catch?" Jin asked his father curiously.
"Jin, I'm going to tell you a secret," Sasuke said. "It's time for you to know it,"
"Know what?"
"How to restore clans,"
"Eh?"
"You're about to turn fifteen in the next three weeks, so I guess I don't have to hide this anymore,"
Jin nodded only, not understanding what Sasuke was saying.
"Well, do you wonder why is it that your parents are so young yet their children are already fourteen or something?"
Jin nodded enthusiastically. He was always wondering that since he was thirteen, because it was unusual for someone so young like his parents to have fifteen-year-old kids. He had tried asking his parents so many times but his mother just blushed and his father smirked in some satisfactory way. Whatever their reactions were, both were certainly not telling. Lee was always telling him how un-youthful his father was, too.
"Yeah! Tell me dad!"
Sasuke smirked.
"Okay," he said. "Don't let your brother or Sachiko know,"
"Why?"
"Consider it as a private man-to-man talk. Or do you really want Tatsuya to budge in?"
Jin thought for a while. Actually, this matter didn't need any thinking at all.
"No,"
"Sweet," Sasuke said, he knew how to handle his sons, alright! "Now, do you know how babies are created?"
"I don't know, I guess they just come out from mom's tummy,"
"Do you know how they get inside?"
"No idea,"
"It's called the miracle of sex, but then again, what I did to your mom is called rape."
"WTF? YOU WHAT?"
"Calm down and listen, Jin." Sasuke said, smirking again. "It all happened when I was fifteen...And your mom was still fourteen, but let's say she's almost – I repeat, almost fifteen. That time I've killed your uncle but I still haven't abandoned the Snake Team..."
---
Dun dun dun! What will happen now? Only I can decide!! Bwahahahahhahahahahahahaha!
Nakano Miki-Chan
(Central Moon)
Japanese Corner:
Keitaro Blessed
Akio Bright
Makoto Sincere, Honest
"Sannin tomo, yamete desu," means "You three, stop it," The word 'desu' is used for a politer way to say it, although the Japanese sentence is not rude at all.
One nice Japanese name I contribute per chapter: Raidon
The name Raidon means thunder God. It's kinda classy, right? I enjoyed using it for several characters for my fictional stories (that are not in
Review or else I will hire an assassin to capture you and place you in a room without internet for three days!!
Next Chapter: Man-to-Man talk