Chapter three: Worth it

Summary: You really fucked up this time, Morgan.

Prompt: Better Than a Poke in the Eye with a Sharp Stick.

X-X-X-X-X

"She doesn't want to see you." Alexis stood like a sentinel in the doorway of the Lake-house, her body language clearly evident that he was not welcome.

He'd known that would have been the case, but to hear Alexis announce it so bluntly, hurt the heart he thought she'd ripped out when she'd walked away two days ago. "I figured as much," his voice was low, a hairsbreadth away from cracking, "but I just wanted to check on her. She was so upset -"

"She'll be fine. She's strong." Alexis interjected.

"Right," Jason conceded, and swallowed the lump in his throat. Elizabeth was strong but she wasn't unbreakable. And break was what she'd very nearly done that afternoon as she railed at him in PH2.

"You should go," Alexis continued pointedly. "I'll tell her that you stopped by."

"Don't," he said softly. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

Alexis nodded in agreement. "Maybe you're right," she conceded.

She looked miserable, he noticed. Her eyes were bleak as she held a protective hand to her swollen abdomen. He'd been surprised to see her at the funeral. Carly had been furious, and he'd thought that Alexis had only been there to support her daughter, or been like Taggert, there only to see if Sonny was really gone.

Now, looking back at it, she'd looked as grief-stricken as Carly. His friend was a terrific actress, but Alexis's grief had been real. Even as part of him tried to deny it, he knew that she would always care, despite the bad blood. There was so much between Sonny and Alexis that no one, not even them, could truly understand.

"What about you?" he asked softly.

Her brown eyes flew up to meet his, wary at the concern swimming in the cerulean depths. He'd never been concerned or tender with her. Amused, annoyed, angry, yes, but never tender. Those were emotions conserved for those close to him – Sonny, Michael, Emily, Lila, Elizabeth. Despite her many years of working with him, despite her connection to Elizabeth, she had never counted herself among that lot.

"I-I'm fine," she replied haltingly. She took a deep breath, "Why wouldn't I be?"

Jason's blue gaze was piercing. She looked away and her voice, when she spoke was weary, "For what it's worth, I'm glad Sonny's not dead, Jason."

Jason nodded in understanding and turned to leave when her voice stopped him again.

"I hope it was worth it." He paused on the steps off the porch and turned to face her, her frame silhouetted in the doorway. "What you did." Alexis clarified. "Elizabeth didn't tell me everything, but I'm not blind or deaf. I know it has something to do with Sonny and your... loyalty to him."

She paused and bit her lip, a trait so much like Elizabeth that he was forced to look away. "I hope for your sake at least that whatever choice you made was worth it."

Their eyes met and held. He remembered Elizabeth's voice, full of anger, full of sorrow and her face, etched with tears upon discovering his betrayal.

He felt the knot in his throat and the ache in his chest where his heart used to reside.

Was it worth it?

They both knew it was not.

Alexis looked even sadder, but nodded and closed the door, turning to face her daughter, who had seen and heard everything.

Outside in the cool night air, Jason closed his eyes, took a deep breath and walked away.

tbc...