Chapter 15: Miserere mihi peccator

Goku waited until Homura had closed the door behind them before he rounded on the man, golden eyes sharp and questioning. "All right, we're alone now. Tell me what you know about my mother." He didn't want to be trapped in a room with this man any longer than he had to. He didn't like the dark-haired man, something about him made him want to hide until all the bad things went away. Weren't priests supposed to make people feel safe and secure?

At first, it seemed as though Homura hadn't heard him. The bishop moved about the room, making a pleased noise when he found a pitcher of water and a glass resting on the table nearby. He was stalling, that much was obvious, until finally he turned towards Goku. "You and Father Sanzo seem quite close. It's so rare to see him allow himself to be so open with another person," Homura commented, picking up an apple from a bowl sitting on the table and tossing it into the air. Inspecting it with a frown, he tossed it in Goku's direction. "In all the years I've known him, there has only been one other person who knew the real Sanzo."

The brunet caught the apple, delicately, as though he were afraid it would burst or hurt him. He glanced at it, then the man. "That's not what I asked. I asked you about my mother." His voice shook a bit, even as he tried not to sound nervous. He didn't like being questioned about Sanzo.

A slow smirk crawled across Homura's face. "All in good time, Goku. The least you could do is answer my questions as well. So tell me, are you and Father Sanzo good friends?"

The implication was not lost on Goku at all, sending him into an internal panic. He knew what it meant for the Church to find out about their relationship, as Sanzo had so carefully explained it to him when it all began. "Yes. Good friends. He's been helping me find out how to stop this," he managed, holding up his wrists. He stared into the mismatched eyes, resisting the urge to shudder. Why was this man looking at him like that?

"You must think me a fool, Goku. Here I am, offering to tell you everything I know and you lie to my face. I am a man of God, and you know God doesn't like lies." His voice was smooth and matter-of-fact, grabbing another apple from the bowl as he tossed it into the air. "But I am also a man who understands love, Goku. Love knows no gender, or form, all it knows is what our hearts tell us. What does your heart tell you?"

Now he was genuinely confused. "I don't think I understand what you mean."

Homura took a bite of the apple, chewing it thoughtfully as silence hung between them. Goku could feel his breath stuck fast in his lungs, as though exhaling could shatter the tension that was cloaking them. "I think I can tell you. You yearn to see your mother again, don't you? Just as you yearn to know why this has happened to you. There are people in Vatican City who could help heal you, and your friend as well." At Goku's startled expression, the bishop's grin widened. "Father Kougaiji told me all about your friend and his illness. Wouldn't you want to see him get better?"

Goku swallowed, wringing his hands together nervously as he shifted his weight. The conversation had come full-circle, and still he felt like he wasn't getting any answers out of the dark-haired bishop. It made his stomach tighten up. "I do…but I still don't understand. You said that you could tell me about my mother, but now you're asking me to come with you back to your city? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything, Goku. Don't you see? You'd have to come back with me to see your mother, since she's been in our care for quite some time. Your friend, Gojyo, could be put in the best hospital that this country has to offer. And, with the help of the priests in the Church, we could heal your wounds as well."

No, he didn't see, but he wasn't about to say that. "Do you promise?" Goku asked quietly, taking a seat across from Homura. The man was still munching on the apple, but Goku had long since put his own back into the bowl. The crunching sound was distracting.

Suddenly, he felt one of Homura's cold hands cover his own, sending unpleasant shivers up and down his spine. Fingers traced gingerly across his bandages, drawing his eyes downward. "I am a man of God, Goku. I always keep my word."

Goku's eyes narrowed slightly and he drew his hand away. "So you've said." He wasn't quite buying what the bishop was telling him. It all seemed too easy for everything to go right for a change. "I don't believe you."

With a dramatic sigh, Homura cradled his face with one of his palms and stared down at the table. "That's a terrible shame. And here I was, thinking that you'd be a reasonable young man about this. You do realize that Sanzo and Hakkai are going to have to come back with me? Not to mention the trouble they're going to be in," he commented, before taking another crunching bite. The sound carried, sending chills up Goku's spine again.

"You don't mean…"

"But of course. They didn't fulfill their mission, they hid information from their superiors, and they've been indulging in sinful relations with other men. The Church does not take kindly to such crimes. However, forgiveness can be sought, but only through those who are willing to compromise. If not, well…they will likely be excommunicated and cast out as sinners. It's a messy business, for sure."

A weight began to rest on Goku's heart upon hearing those words. Could he really be the cause of Sanzo and Hakkai being punished like that? He and Sanzo had talked briefly one night about the importance of his priesthood, and Goku didn't know if he could take that away from the blond. Sanzo may not have been the best priest there way; okay, at all, but that wasn't the point. It was still something important to the man, even if Goku didn't know exactly why. He began to shake, clutching at the front of his shirt and feeling utterly at a loss. He'd never be able to forgive himself if he caused problems for either of the priests, especially after all they'd been trying to do for him. Sanzo was the one he'd been calling to for all those years, even if he hadn't understood why then; he certainly did now. "So, if I agree to come with you, you won't tell anyone about it?"

"I didn't say that, but I know that God will be able to forgive them of their trespasses, just as He did Father Kougaiji and Yaone. I will be able to protect your love, just as I have theirs. I have that right, Goku. God has granted it to me." Homura looked genuinely sympathetic, but Goku knew what those pretty words meant. If he agreed, Sanzo and Hakkai wouldn't be persecuted. A bit of the guilt eased off, replaced by a feeling of uneasiness.

"Fine. I'll come back with you, and Sanzo, and Hakkai. I want to see my mother, and I want this gone," Goku said, gesturing to his wrists. A flicker of something danced in Homura's eyes, though it was gone as quick as it had come. "And Sanzo and Hakkai will be safe, right. You promise me that?"

Homura smiled, taking another bite of his apple. He made a soft sound in the back of his throat before placing the apple core back down onto the table. "I do. You won't regret this, I promise you that. You're a very wise and selfless young man. God will answer your prayers for your good deeds." He stood, getting to his feet. "Now, I think we'll set out tomorrow morning, first thing. It'll be just the four of us, at first-"

Goku cut him off, sounding a bit angry. "But what about Gojyo? That was also part of your promise." He folded his arms across his chest, staring hard at the man standing before him.

Homura blinked for a moment, before a slow laugh escaped him. "You didn't let me finish. I'll have to return before I can prepare the special accommodations for your companion, so we'll have to send for him at a later date. Perhaps have Father Hakkai send for him?" His mouth curved into a smile, making that uneasy feeling worse in the pit of Goku's stomach. He couldn't turn back now, especially with so much riding on his decision.

Goku nodded, keeping his head down as they exited the small room. Despite his good intentions, he couldn't help but feel like he was betraying his lover. His hand stayed firmly fisted in his t-shirt, and he refused to look up when Homura addressed the crowd in the other room.

"Pack your things and get ready, Sanzo and Hakkai. Goku has agreed to come back with us to Vatican City." Homura turned then, holding up his hand to silence the protests he knew were coming. "And once everything has been taken care of, I will send Hakkai to fetch Gojyo as well. We'll make sure you have the best medical care available." He smiled warmly at the redhead, though the sentiment was not returned.

All eyes turned to Goku, and he could feel the weight of their gazes bearing down on him. "Goku, is this true?" he heard Hakkai ask in his softest voice, which only served to make him feel worse.

He nodded, still unable to lift his head. He could feel tears building in his eyes, but he wouldn't cry. He'd made the right decision, he knew. He would do anything to protect his friends.

He felt familiar warm fingers thread through his hair, and he thought he might burst right then. "What the hell did you say to him?" Sanzo asked, voice tight and controlled. Goku thanked every lucky star he had that the voice wasn't directed at him and he felt the tension drain out of him. He looked up to meet worried violet eyes, though the expression on his lover's face gave nothing away.

"Just what needed to be said. Now, why don't we all get some rest? We have such a busy day ahead of us tomorrow," Homura encouraged, folding his arms behind his back and calling out, "Mrs. Yaone! Do you think it possible that I could stay with you and Father Kougaiji this evening?"

The violet-haired woman entered the room, looking pinched as she tried to smile at him. "Of course, Your Excellency. We'd be glad to have you." It didn't quite reach her eyes, but no one dared breathe a word about it. Yaone gestured for him to follow her, keeping her baby tightly folded in her arms as they left together.

Once they were alone, Sanzo bopped Goku on the head. "You idiot! Why the hell did you agree to go with him? Have you lost your tiny, pea-sized mind?" He was angry now, more with the bishop for bullying Goku like he had. That had to have been the case, right?

Goku rubbed his head, looking sheepish. "Just because. He said he knew people who could help me get better. And…he said he could let me see my mother." His voice grew soft then, glancing at his feet. The tenseness was back tenfold, and he was questioning his decision again.

Sanzo could tell there was more to it, but he didn't push. He'd find out what that bastard had said sooner or later. "Probably promised you food or something, you monkey." He ran his hand through Goku's hair once again to let him know he wasn't angry with him, giving reassurance the only way he knew how.

"Not a monkey," Goku mumbled in reply.

The blond priest couldn't help the small smile that quirked on his lips at that. "Whatever. You need to pack and so do I." He turned to face Hakkai and Gojyo, both of whom still looked a bit startled by the news. "That goes the same for you, Hakkai. Take that idiot with you when you go." For once, Gojyo didn't have a ready reply, following the older brunet as he left the room.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling the pressure already building behind his eyes. Motherfucker.

-----

"This is just so fucking wrong," Sanzo said, running his hands through his hair and trying to forget where he was. He was not really laying naked in bed with Goku, feeling extremely satisfied after one of the best orgasms he'd ever had. He had hoped that the night before had been a dream, because this made things extremely complicated.

Warmth flooded against his skin when Goku pressed up against him. "Why is this wrong? You wanted to do it, so what does it matter?" The brunet was smiling at him, looking for all the world like a kid in candy shop. His hair was mussed and his smile was too bright to look at.

Sanzo had to reign in the urge to hit him over the head. "You're not that stupid. I'm a priest, Goku. Chastity vows aside, I'm not supposed to lie with another man. It's detestable and a sin against God."

Goku made a face and looked unimpressed with the knowledge. "So? I don't understand why. You didn't kill anyone, and you didn't hurt anyone. God's supposed to be all about love and acceptance, right? That's what Father Kougaiji taught me. Why would a God that's supposed to be about all these things hate you because you're with someone you love?" Violet eyes widened at that, and Goku couldn't help the smirk that crossed his face. "Yeah, I heard you mumble that last night when you came."

"Whatever. It's not that simple." Sanzo felt his cheeks flush in indignation. There was no way he'd said that; the brat was just teasing him. Goku didn't look convinced, and he let out a sigh. There was no way he was going to win this argument. "Shit. You're such a pain in the ass."

Goku smiled, knowing that he'd won this time around. That smile was contagious, and Sanzo felt warmth blossom in his chest at the sight. He was so screwed. "Well, you're stuck with me now." The smaller male snuggled down tight against the priest, letting out a sigh of contentment. "You know, I love you too."

"Will you shut up? I didn't say that!"

------

The sound of a knock on the door drew Sanzo from the memory, leaving him feeling a bit disorientated because of the sudden shift in reality. He wasn't sure why he'd been remembering that in the first place. "What?" He didn't raise his voice, since Goku was still fast asleep next to him. The brunet had worn himself out, between the apologies and explanations, not to mention the sex that had followed. Sanzo knew Goku had been doing what he could to distract them both from what was waiting for them come morning.

Hakkai, as expected, tip-toed into the room before carefully closing the door behind himself. "I just came to check to see how Goku was doing. He seemed pretty distressed earlier."

Sanzo's gaze traveled down to the sleeping lump next to him, sighing through his nose. "He'll be all right. I just sure as hell hope he knows what he got himself into," he said gruffly, despite running his hand along his lover's back. "I want to know what the hell it was that Homura said to him to make him like that."

"I would think it would be obvious, Sanzo."

The blond felt his jaw clench tight and he drew his hand back. "Goddamn it," he muttered, threading his fingers through his hair. He almost chuckled at the irony of his words, but didn't.

Hakkai leaned against the doorframe, smiling sadly. "Aptly put, but that doesn't matter now. Let's just hope that this all works out for the best. I have a bad feeling about this."

"Ch, well. There's not much we can do about it now. We'll just deal with it when the time comes. Now, get out so I can go to sleep."

"Of course. Good night," Hakkai replied, locking the door and closing it behind him. Sanzo could only imagine what he was feeling, knowing that he would have to leave Gojyo behind. Well, whatever. It wasn't his problem.

And it didn't seem like he was going to be getting any sleep any time soon.

(Translation: Have mercy on me)

(A/N: I apologize to everyone for how long this chapter took me to put out. The semester was crazy, and the holidays even more so. This year I plan on being better with this, but who knows? I want to thank everyone who has continued to read this story and review it, making me want to actually keep up with it. And for all the new people I've seen lurking, thank you guys as well. May you all continue to enjoy reading this story as much as I am writing it!)