This is How I Disappear

By justification to wormtail

A/N: I'd just like to thank ellesra, Bottlebrush and Nic for reviewing the story, so thank-you so very much! And your questions will be answered in due time, Bottlebrush. I'm sorry if the first chapter sorta got all mixed up…the italics were supposed to be like memories of what happened that day, some were direct excerpts from the book, and the normal print was supposed to be what Harry thought and felt about what happened after he began to come to terms with it.

The avada kedavra part was Harry killing Bellatrix Lestrange for making Sirius go through the veil. Because of her my father was gone… That was the reason that Harry came up with for using the curse on her, he saw Sirius as his father figure since James died.

Their eyes were pleading…Remus and Sirius silently willing each other to stay strong. Eternal slumber… Harry thought that they had died after they fell through. Time was at an end…kind of like Harry's whole world crashing down around him because he was the cause of two more 'deaths'. And it was like a cacophony of everything because time itself had both slowed down and speeded up during the battle. Those, I think, are some of the more confusing lines.

It might take me more than a weekend to finish this story; I'm planning on having it be about six or so chapters long.

Disclaimer: the characters belong to JKR as do the non-existent places mentioned and such. Actually, some of the characters who you've never heard of before belong to me.

I've decided that I'm changing the rating to T because of future language and situations.

Begin chapter three

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Harry's face paled immensely as he looked at the two frightened boys sitting on his steps before him. Ginny looked nervous as she shifted Albus's weight onto her other hip. James wiggled and squirmed out of the tight grasp that Harry held on his head. Lily let go of her mother's jean-clad leg and took and few shuffled steps towards her older brother.

"So Lavender wasn't lying," Ginny whispered with a small laugh lacing through the words, "she really did see two little kids in the Department of Mysteries." Harry turned angrily towards her.

"NO!" he yelled. "NO, she's lying!"

"Harry, stop," said his wife gently, "stop, you're frightening the children."

"She's lying," the man repeated, voice cracking slightly.

"And how do you know that Harry," asked the black haired boy, Hesperos, Sirius.

"I know that," answered the man through gritted teeth, "because you two are dead!"

"Harry, there's never been any evidence that the creatures that fall through the veil die," said Remus with a worried expression.

Harry turned on him. "I saw it with my own eyes, Remus! You two fell right through, right after I used the curse." He began to pace back and forth between his family and the two boys, tears welled up in his eyes. "Right after I killed Lestrange."

Sirius looked at Ginny in surprise. "My cousin's dead?"

She nodded her head and for a brief moment it looked like Sirius was distraught.

"Good."

The boy spoke firmly as he stood up with clenched hands. "That's good," he repeated. Sirius jumped down over the last two steps, landing directly in front of Harry. "I'm not dead." He said forcefully to the man.

"Yes you are!"

"Can you even hear yourself speaking?" Snarled Sirius. "Telling someone that they're dead when they're directly in front of you! In flesh and blood? People will think that you're mad, Harry, mad."

"You're just a figment of my imagination!" the tears were pouring down his face now, his nose was running, but he didn't care…all that mattered now was that he was losing it. Everything.

"And Ginny can see us too, and your kids," snapped Remus, getting angry. "Your kids as well Harry, the ones who've never even seen a picture us before, eh?"

Ginny looked frightened as she handed Albus to James and told them to go outside until she fetched them. "R-Remus?"

His blazing eyes softened as she spoke the name that now sounded so foreign on her tongue. "Yes, Ginny?"

"Is it really you?" she asked as tears escaped their prison. "Truly you?"

"Yes."

And that word was all it took for her to break down completely. One of the strongest women that the three in the room had ever met reduced to helpless tears by that single, lonesome word. She collapsed into the arms of her husband, shaking uncontrollably and unaware that her cries reached the ears of her waiting children.

"Go."

Harry snarled that word at his godfather and ex-professor. He looked as though he would forcefully remove them if need be, Sirius stood defiantly as Remus looked at the man pityingly.

"Harry," Sirius said in a barely constrained voice, "see sense. It's us, we're here, we're back."

"I SAID GO!" roared Harry, a fresh batch of tears clouding his vision. "LEAVE NOW!"

So they did.

"It's just a bad dream," Harry whispered into his wife's brilliant red hair, "that's all. There's nothing to worry about, love. It's just a dream…I just dozed off while working on that paper…" Ginny knew that he was trying to convince himself of what he was saying, and they both knew that it was a lie.

They really were back.

0000OOO0000

"Well that's that then," said Ron as he rubbed his hands together, "everything that happened during the war's finally caught up with me. I've gone mental."

"Uh, Ron," said Hermione, tentatively laying a hand on his shoulder. "I don't think that you've lost it, I heard what they said too."

"Well that just makes you crazy as well 'mione."

"Look, Ronald," said Sirius impatiently. It was half an hour after the encounter with the Potters; and it had taken Remus twenty-five of those minutes just to calm Sirius down. "You're not mad, mental, crazy, whatever, it really is us."

Ron frowned at him as he thought. "But you look like you'd be starting at Hogwarts in September. You look like you're the same age as the twins." At this he pointed towards two of the children who were sitting at the old table and watching their parents with interest. Both of them had straight, deep red locks that flew down to just below their elbows. The two sisters exchanged a look that clearly said that they had no idea why their father was pointing at them.

"That's just the thing, Ron," said Remus as though they were in class and he was simply correcting something that one of the students had said. "We look like we're eleven, but we're not. Not truly."

"Although in a slight sense we are," added Sirius.

"But how is that possible?" asked Hermione with a furrowed brow, she removed her hand from her husband's shoulder and brought it down to rest on her pregnant belly. "How did you two even manage to get back? Everything that ever went through that veil disappears and doesn't return, you two are the first."

Sirius shrugged. "Dunno. What's your take on it Remus?"

The boy sighed and slumped over. "Well, first of all, it was sort of like we were in another world…But we could still see everything that happened here after we went through that bloody veil. It was very, very cold, nobody could see us, it…it was like we were ghosts but we weren't."

"What made you think that you were in another world?" asked Ron cautiously.

Both of the boys looked him square in the face and it was Remus who spoke first.

"Quite a simple conclusion really," he said softly.

"James and Lily were there…" Sirius's whisper was barely audible.

0000OOO0000

End chapter three

I'll try to get the other chapters up as soon as I can.