The Life With In You Chapter 2: Hurting, a south of nowhere fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. I don't own South of Nowhere.

Summary: Okay so I wanted to try and work on something that has to do with a break up so... this is what I'm going with right now... Ashley and Spencer dated for 3 years before Spencer broke it off at the beginning of their sophomore year in college. And they have been broken up for about 10 days and Ashley is having a really hard time with it... It will get better you can't keep spashley apart.

Feedback: It would be great if you tell me what you think. Thanks

Author notes: I hope everyone that reads this story likes it. And I hope you review and tell me what you think... THANK YOU!

BROOKLYNDE--- Of course they will get back together at some point thats the best part of the story... Thank you for the review and I hope you keep reading... THANKS...

vingklippt--- Thanks... I was hoping it would be... and I also hope you keep reading and reviewing the story... THANKS...

yo gurl jackie--- Here's you're post... and thanks for the review...

Kyden 298--- LOL well thanks... People give you pain and you could only go do so much with it... So I decided to put it in a story and plus the other stories that I wrote are all sweet ones so I guess I wanted a twist so I went with this one... but anyways thanks for the review... and just THANKS... southismyantidrug07--- Thank You Thank You... LOL anyways here's your post got it up as fast as I could... and THANKS AGAIN... DaPhoenix--- Thanks and heres the post...

THIS CHAPTER HERE IS GONNA BE A SWITCH POINT OF VIEW STARTING OFF WITH SPENCER

The Life With In You

By:babygirl2006

Chapter 2

(Spencer's P.O.V)

I just stood there and watched Ashley walk down the hall. Everything came back to me at the moment. Watching her leave. It hurt. I don't understand why. But it gave me a feeling in the pit of my stomach, that just felt like someone was grabbing everything and holding so tightly. It hurt more like physical pain. And it was only emotional pain trying to tell me that I'm the stupidest person alive for breaking her down. For telling her things I couldn't hold on too. For loving her then acting like she meant nothing. Ashley was my world. She should know that. But I needed space. I needed time. I needed and need a lot of things. Ashley couldn't understand that and she never will. I had to end it with her before she started hating me.

(Flashback)

We laid there on her dorm bed. I was turned to the left and Ashley had her arm around me. I can't look at her knowing what I'm about to do. It's gonna be hard telling her that I can't be with her right now. I'm gonna miss this. Her touch. How her lips feel on mine. How we could just talk for hours about nothing and still want to do it again. How it is to just lay with her and still feel comfortable. I love her. But we need time apart. I need time away. Away from her. Away from this relationship. From any relationship. Away from everyone. I need time to find myself and find what it is I'm meant to do in this world. I could be in a relationship with her while doing this. I could be but I can't. I feel like we are falling apart because of me and thats why I'm doing this. I don't want to end up cheating on her or anything else. Thats why I'm ending it and ending it now. I don't want her to hate me. I just want her to understand that there's other things I have to do. She ain't holding me back from it. She would never do that. I feel she is though. I could just feel my heart melt at the thought of what she would think of me after this. The thought of her being broken. The thought of her still loving me even when everything inside her wants to hate me. I know its gonna be so much pain for her. All I want is for her to understand. For her to see that I need this and it has nothing to do with her. She most of seen I had a lot on my mind because she broke me from my thoughts.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked me.

"Ashley..." I started. I know she could feel that I was about to say something she didn't want to hear.

"Never mind... Don't tell me. I don't want to know anymore." She got up off the bed. She just stood there looking in the opposite direction. I got up and stood behind her. I know she doesn't want to hear this. I know she don't.

"Ash... There's things I need to deal with right now and I need to deal with it alone. Without you. Without anyone. It has nothing to do with you. I just have to find myself. Ashley you have to understand that. I need you to understand." She turned around and looked me in the eyes, after 2 minutes she spoke.

"Don't Spencer... Don't do this. Not now. Why now? After all this time you're going to stand in front of me and tell me you need space, time, and whatever else. Why now Spencer? WHY?" She screamed at me with tears about to fall down her face. I knew she wasn't going to take this easy and I've been preparing myself for it for the last 2 months. Even being prepared for it, it still doesn't help. I'm in love with her. No matter how long I prepared myself for it, it wasn't going to be easy. It was going to be the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. But I still have to do it. Get it over with. Something has to make her understand. Something. But nothing ever will and I'm just going to have to deal with the fact that she is going to be heart broken for along time after this moment.

"I can't do this anymore Ashley. I need space. I need to figure out what it is I'm going to do. I lo..."

"You don't love me Spence... Cause if you did you wouldn't be doing this right now. You wouldn't be breaking my heart in a million pieces than walking out that door 5 minutes later. If you loved me you would... we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Ash... It's not about breaking your heart. I just need to figure out if you are who I'm supposed to be with the rest of my life. I just need time. I need space. From you. From us." The look she had on her face when I said 'From us' broke my heart in half. She doesn't understand and I'm sorry that she don't. I can't do anything about that. Well I could but its over now and she is hurting. She turned away from me. I know shes crying thats why she turned away. Its been along time since I seen her cry. A really long time. It hurts me to see her like this. Knowing I'm the one that is making her feel this kills me.

"It's over Ashley and I'm sorry." I told her in a whisper. I don't think she hear me. I need to leave now. I had to before she thought of something to say. I didn't even know what else to say. So I left. I walked out the door. I felt her eyes on me as I was leaving but I couldn't turn around. I just couldn't. The door closed behind me and that was it.

(End of Flashback)

That was the last time I was in her dorm room. I have to walk passed her door every time I want to go to my room. Sometimes it's hard not being able to stop and just say ' hey! How was you're day?' or 'I've had a bad day. Will you hold me?'. She always did hold me. She held me like she never wanted to let me go. And it always made my day better in the moment that she touched me. When she kissed me. When she looked me in the eyes and told me that she loved me. Sometimes I wish I would have never broke up with her. Sometimes I wish I could take back all the pain that I caused her. Sometimes I wish I could just hold her again. Look into her eyes and get lost for hours like I used too. I can't though. I ruined it and right now theres nothing I could do about it. I cry myself to sleep at night sometimes. Missing her touch. Her breathe on the back of my neck, when she whispered to me. Her soft kisses trailing down my neck and chest. Her promises she made and never broke. I miss everything about her. And the saddest part of it is that I'm the one that broke it off. I'm the one who told her I couldn't be with her. The one that made her cry for days. Class just let out. I walked into the classroom, got my stuff, and headed to my dorm room.

(Ashley's P.O.V)

Ooh, ooh
Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you're awake,
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever reminisce?
I can't believe I'm acting like this
I know it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

Do you ever ask about me?
Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Every time the phone rings,
Do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same?
Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you
Is everything okay?

It's hard enough just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good in goodbye?
Tell me why, tell me why

Sing it for me
Ooh, ooh

I listen to this song over and over again. The last 25 days have been like shit for me. I feel lost like nothing or no one is even going to touch me again. Well touch me maybe but my heart is never going to feel that love again. That warmth. That wholeness. That happiness I got from her. If I ever feel it again. I don't know what I will do. I think I'll run. The pain after feeling it. Is just to much. To much hurt involved. It's not worth it. Everyday knowing that she is around somewhere. It kills me. I would love it if she just came to me and said 'hold me' or really try to explain to me why she did what she did. Everything reminds me of her. Walking down the halls at school. Sleeping in my bed. Just seating in a lobby area. Even being places she has never went with me. It reminds me of her in so many ways. It hurts to think of her. I've been walking forever it seems. Seeing all these people, birds, all these colors that caught my eye. The ocean is what really helps me these days. My problems seem so small when I look out into the water. Seeing million and million miles of water just seems to help. Like it washes away my problems. My broken and tortured heart. My shattered and hollow soul. My helpless mind that can seem to hold on to anything anymore. I get lost in looking at the water for hours. Nothing else mattered. Nobody else mattered. Its just me and this big body of water.

(Flashback)

"Why does being with you feel so right?" She asked me as I held her and we looked out into the ocean.

"We love each other and it's strong. Nothing could ever break us apart. We've been through a lot together already. Lies, family problems, funerals, being apart, your mom, cheating, my drunk nights that made you hate me for days. You name it we have been through it. And now we love each other so much. So when you love and are in love with someone as much as we are. Everything just feels right." I tried to explain to her the best I could with the feelings I hold inside. I don't know if it answered her question good enough but its all I could come up with. I hope it was good enough for her. I hope I'll always be good enough for her.

"I love being with you. Everything about us makes me the happiest person alive. I would never hurt you Ash... You are my world, my shield, my heart and soul, my everything. I never want to lose you. Promise me that you will never in your life break my heart. Promise me that you will never hurt me." She turned around in my arms and cried out.

"I promise you Spence.. With everything inside of me that I will never break your heart or hurt you. Never. I promise." I told her as I looked back into her eyes.

(End of Flashback)

I guess I should have made her promise me. That day. That day was almost a year ago. Everything happens in just a short amount of time. You always hold on to your love tightly until one day you realize you have let go and they aren't with you anymore. I can't pinpoint the moment she let me go. The moment she thought it was okay to break me down. The moment she thought I would be okay without her in my life. The moment she decided to stop loving me. The moment she lost all control to her actions and stomped on my heart. I can't tell you these things. Honestly I don't think she could tell you either. Maybe she could. Just maybe. I couldn't even tell you the moment I started loving her and thats never going to change. There will never be a moment where I don't love her anymore. I will always love her. She was my everything. My soul, my heart, my mind, my savior, my light. She was... is my everything. Now that she is gone. All that is gone too. Everything is empty. So empty. At times I don't even feel my heart beating. At times I don't even realize I started thinking about the first time I held her. Kissed her. Touched her. Loved her. The first time I ever looked at her.

"What?" This is the first time someone has messed with me since I started coming here.

"Aren't you Ashley Davies?" The girl to my left asked me. Why does she care what my name is? Why does she think it is okay to bug me?

"Yes... Why?" I questioned looking at her concerned. I didn't know why I was concerned but I just felt it.

"Nothing to be concerned about. I just wanted to say hey and see how you was doing?" I guess she could tell that I was concerned.

"Hey and I'm fine. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"You was with Spencer right?" Why is she asking me this? Why should it matter if I was with Spencer or not? Why?

"Why? What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's just a question. You girls where good together. What happened? I mean why did you guys break up?" What is with these questions? Why can't she go up to Spencer and ask her? Why me?

"Yeah we were good together. We were great but that over now so if you'll excuse me I have to go." I got up and walked away. I don't get people sometimes. Why is it there business? How could you just go up to someone and ask them all these questions? When you don't know them. Know nothing about them. Why would someone do that? I walked back to my dorm room. It seemed like it took forever to get back too.