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Disclaimer: copyright Kudos and BBC

Chapter Three

Thursday 25 February, 1982

Alex had returned to work the day after her fainting spell. Gene had tried to question her about it further but she brushed away his concerned enquiries. They spent the next week hammering out their action plan to catch the "Paper-cut Killer" as the newspapers had labelled him. Their net was simple. An undercover female police officer would be set up in a flat in Shadwell as a teacher. It had taken Alex a full week to convince Gene that it should be her: she was the most senior female officer in the Met; she fitted the middle-class profile (they had lost two days to arguments due to Gene's comments about her age not matching the dead girls) and, she pointed out, she could defend herself.

Urgency, in the end, forced Gene to concede; there was no one else appropriate. He was absolutely not prepared to put Shaz in the face of danger again, having confined her to office duties since her stabbing, and although her age was right, her class was…how did Gene put it? Alex winced at the memory: "You couldn't cut plastic, let alone glass wi' those dulcet tones."

The team were making their final preparations for Alex's departure the following day. There would be officers outside her flat, outside her place of work, following her every move. A crash-course in stealth surveillance had been necessary for all members of CID. Watching Chris's and Ray's befuddled faces as they tried to grasp the basic concepts of spotting suspicious behaviour, Alex hid her concern from Gene. She knew she needed to be the one to do this, and she needed to lead the team. And she knew that Gene was one excuse away from ending the operation – he had been gentler to her since the fainting incident and she was becoming accustomed to the bacon butties on her desk when she arrived at work in the morning.

"We've got a job to do, Bollinger Knickers, can't spend me 'ole time catchin' posh, mouthy tarts." he'd replied gruffly when she had tried to acknowledge his gesture the first morning. So she smiled and nodded at him instead and suppressed the waves of nausea that the smell of bacon caused, eating them as quickly as possible.

She would have to be extra vigilant, she coached herself. She had seen the two bodies, closely studied the detailed photographs of their injuries. Imaginary constructs or not, how could Alex not care? Being a police officer was at the core of her being and she was driven by her need to protect the innocent.

Alex took the set of clothes Gene had dumped on her desk for her 'legend'- she smiled to herself at the spookiness of it all - and proceeded to the ladies' toilets to try them on. Apart from the heels, Alex was unimpressed. She was supposed to look like a young, sexy, career-orientated, upper middle-class private school teacher. "Not a spinster librarian." she muttered as she surveyed the coarse brown tweed two-piece in the mirror, scowling and shaking her head.

"Ma'am?" Shaz popped her head around the bathroom door. "Guv wants to know how it's going." Alex jumped, startled at the interruption. She nodded at Shaz. The slow-mo bullet appeared in her mind's eye and she promptly passed out.

"Ma'am!" Shaz rushed to her superior officer's side, lying prone on the floor tiles.

"I'm fine, Shaz, I'm fine. It's nothing." Alex came to quickly this time, the blood rushing back to her head the moment she hit the floor.

"I'll get someone." Shaz attempted to leave but Alex grabbed her wrist.

"No, Shaz. Really, I'm fine. It's just low blood sugar. We have a schedule to stick to. What do you think the Guv will do if we tell him about this?" Alex pleaded with the younger woman.

Shaz hesitated. She knew she ought to tell someone. Her DI didn't look well. But she trusted her, her 'guardian angel'. Alex had save her life, and stood by her, supported her. And she wanted to catch this killer as much as the rest of them. "We're a team, Ma'am, you should tell 'im." She suggested softly.

"I will, Shaz. Just not today." Alex put her hand to Shaz's cheek as she helped Alex to her feet.

"Well, all these clothes are useless." she announced.

Alex stormed into Gene's office and dumped the clothes on his desk. "I'm going shopping and I'm taking Shaz with me" she declared before Gene had a chance to stop what he was doing and register her presence.

"No, you're bloody not. You will wear the clothes I bloody provided!" he roared back.

"Gene, we're trying to lure him out not send him to a sick bucket!" Without waiting for a response, Alex sauntered out of the office, dragging Shaz along with her, who shrugged at a helpless looking Chris.

Alex sat in the less-popular CID car and waited for Shaz to return. They had had a successful afternoon shopping. Alex marvelled at how much she enjoyed the younger officer's company. She allowed her to prattle on about all and sundry although inevitably Shaz settled on the subject of her relationship with Chris. She had shyly quizzed Alex about the more intimate parts of her relationship and Alex had responded kindly, advising her on the finer points of contraception. Shaz had seemed rather shocked by Alex's forthrightness. Alex sighed and shook her head at the thought of her own daughter asking similar questions.

While she had these few moments to herself – Shaz had ensured she drank lots of coffee and took many cake breaks from the retail therapy – Alex allowed herself to semi-doze. She smiled warmly at Shaz and Chris's innocence. Alex's own mother hadn't been there to guide her through those early years of discovery. Evan had taken a clinical view and been extremely open with her though he had omitted to delve into the emotional pitfalls that surround sex and relationships sticking to facts only. As a result Alex had no qualms talking openly about sex with Shaz. Not that Alex had taken all that much notice of Evan's advice. She had married young, on a whim, and had a child when only at the start of her career.

Alex jerked awake. She wasn't one for always taking her own advice, she thought with a shudder, clutching her arms around herself. She took a deep breath as Shaz opened the passenger door.

"'Ere you go, Ma,am. Black coffee."

"Thanks. I…erm… I'm just going to pop to the chemists." Shaz looked at her questioningly. "I think some vitamins would do me the world of good." Alex explained innocently.

oOo

Alex reached over to the second packet lying on the floor beside the toilet. Never trust the first one, she thought, trying to suppress the rising panic. She ripped open the tube and positioned the stick awkwardly between her legs, willing herself to pee a second time.

Two minutes she needed to wait. Another slow, tortuous two minutes. She pulled her knickers and jeans up and flushed the toilet, placing the stick on the side of the sink. Alex blocked all thought from her mind as she paced around the flat, ignoring the flickering television screen. She returned to the bathroom where, picking up the stick, she breathed in through her nose and exhaled slowly through barely parted lips. She looked at the tube.

Positive.

She was pregnant. She could do a hundred tests and she knew they would all tell her the same thing. In a daze, she wandered back to the living room and slumped back onto the black and white sofa.

"Mols?" she whispered. A tear fought its way down her cheek.

"I'm never coming home, am I?" she sobbed into the empty room.

She lifted her blue satin blouse and moved her left hand across her belly and looked down. A baby? She couldn't believe it. She should have recognised the signs: the nausea and the exhaustion - though she hadn't fainted last time. They had felt familiar but she had put it down to eating poorly, and the nightmares that were causing her sleep deprivation, and she had ignored them, preoccupied as she was by the case.

The case. She couldn't tell Gene. She would wait until the case was over and then she would think about it. It was early days anyway, anything could happen. She would just have to eat more regularly, look after herself to prevent further fainting spells. Space is what she needed and going undercover would give her time away from Gene. Playing another role would be good for her, she theorised, as she returned to her bedroom and began packing her suitcase.

TBC...