This book has not helped me in the slightest.

Don't get me wrong. There were a few interesting tall tales, but nothing that would help me directly.

I saw some notes on a mirror pool that could clone me, but my few memories of the show told me that was a terrible idea. I don't need a bunch of retarded clones running around.

Another interesting section was this magic plant that supposedly made a pony's magic rival gods, but only for a short while. Now if I was a unicorn this would be my ticket. But since I'm not, this is dogshit worthless.

There were a few paragraphs detailing mysterious magical artifacts with all kinds of effects. The main problem is that I don't know where any of this shit is. It's not like I could just ask anyone for information either. I can thank the script for that.

I swear when I get my hooves on Lance I'll-

Oh? What with all that rumbling upstairs? I was sure that the green guy went to sleep a while ago doing whatever.

With a sigh I get off my couch and start walking up the stairs. The further I got up them the clearer the noise was.

Huh? Was that a woman's voice? Nobody else should be here as far as I'm aware.

Now on the second floor I can hear that the voice is coming from the door with Lance's name poorly scratched onto it.

I walk over to Lance's room and open the door.

...

I close the door.

Blinking slowly I walk back downstairs and lay down on my safety couch. Taking the blankets I cocoon myself where the bad thoughts can't get me.

One important piece of information was learned though. This is the moment when Lance's son was conceived. On the other hand I really didn't need to see Lance's ghost dick in action.

I quickly start researching again to force that image out of my head.

It didn't work. That shit haunted my dreams.

ooo000^000ooo

Today is when I finally stop reading useless books and actually do something. That's right, books ain't shit!

I'm going to raid the Castle of the Two Sisters I read about for loot. I was going to break into Canterlot Castle, but anything of worth would definitely be locked away where I couldn't get to it.

With the abandoned castle being in total ruin, that wouldn't be an issue. If it is then I'll break things until I get to what I want.

I mean it's a ruined castle! There's got to be some cool shit in there! Classic treasure hunting stuff.

In front of me was all kinds of camping junk. Food, water, maps, a compass, and even a nifty safari hat are among the many things I've brought here.

Normally all of this would be way out of my budget, but I stole all of it, so it's all good.

Now to start packing.

"Woah man, what's with all the camp stuff?" Said a voice from upstairs.

I'm not sure what order is optimal for packing things into a bag, so I just cram things in at random.

"You listening man? What's got your shit rocking dude?" Said the same voice.

Once I'm done packing the bag is overstuffed and barely closes. Good enough.

"Alright, I get it. Don't say I didn't warn you," again the same voice said. Man the script is getting awfully snippy today.

As I begin to put on the overstuffed saddlebag, I suddenly drop it as I feel something smash into my groin. My mind goes blank as I curl up on the ground in pain.

I start heaving, "What… the fuck… what was… that…?"

"Oh shit Lance! You sound like a fucking chimpmunk man!" Looking over I see the green unicorn laughing his ass off.

What the hell is going on?

"What the hell is going on?" I stand slowly, wincing as I feel a jolt of pain through my famlied jewels.

"You were ignoring me, so I hit you in the nuts," The unicorn smirked.

This guy, "I'm aware, fuck you by the way, what I want to know is how you're doing this!"

"Doing what?" The unicorn tilted his head to the side.

I waved my front hooves around in frustration, "Talking! How'd you break out of the script!"

He looked at me like I was an idiot, which to be fair, talking to him is making me feel like one, "Damn dude, what the hell are you smoking, and can I have some?" He shook his head a bit, "Nevermind, I already got the good stuff."

As I try to word my next response the unicorn brings something to his lips and inhales. "There's no script to tell me what to do, I'm a free man."

What, "Where the hell did you get that thing?"

He laughed, "Magic book that told me to go to forest and pick magic purple flower. It… it gave me something… Oh yeah, it gave me magic to bring my magic plant here."

I stood still, "Tell me exactly how everything went down with the magic purple plant. Right now."

He puffed his blunt, "Chill man I'll tell you. It went something like this…"

ooo000^000ooo

Some amount of time in the recent past

Greg stood in the library in Lance's home, currently holding the purple plant that would increase a unicorn's powers and give them all knowledge of magic for a small time.

He smiled to himself, now to just eat this magical plant and I'll be able to bring my magic plant here.

He swallowed the purple plant whole and coughed. That taste like crap!

Oh wait a second, what's this strange feeling in my stomach! I think it's... its.

A pop came from behind him. Greg started laughing crazily. Awww man, just gas.

His head started to spin out of control. Wow man, it feels like I'm high.

There was a pulsing in his brain, followed by a cold feeling.

He looked straight up and yelled, "I know every thing!"

Greg looked over to the plain old plant on the table and tried to focus his newfound power on it, but before he could he felt some grody aura surrounding him. That's annoying.

With a flash of his horn he got rid of the unsettling feeling. Now he feels a lot better, like a fresh pair of new socks.

Turning his attention back toward the plant, it glowed and disappeared for a second. It reappeared as something a different kind of plant. Marijuana.

Greg smiled to himself. Hell yeah! I've brought weed to pony land!

ooo000^000ooo

Present time

"...And that's about it" The unicorn, now known as Greg, said as he finished the last of his blunt. Instead of disposing of the stub… he ate it. Fucking stoners man.

I stood there rubbing my face in frustration, "I can't believe you broke the script by complete accident, like it was nothing, just because you wanted weed."

As far as I was aware nothing could break the script. Sure I never exactly tried testing this, but with David gone and nothing changing I assumed it was unbreakable.

Greg pulled out another blunt, "You talking about this script thing again? Dude look at me, Greg does what Greg wants."

Right. Better start explaining this.

While Greg was buzzing out I told him everything, from me being from a different Earth and how Lance swapped our bodies so he could escape this time loop.

I told him about how everyone was stuck following the original timeline like a terrible play, how no matter what happened they would be stuck in the script.

I told him how people like David and Louie were killed off by Lance, and how I wasn't sure which ones are still around. Why Greg made it out fine is something I'm still trying to figure out.

Once I finished talking Greg just stood there a long while. Finally he took a long drag of his blunt and replied, "Man I am way too high for this."

I coughed. All this second hand smoke can't be good for my lungs, "It's the truth. My name is Andrew and Lance trapped me here, where no one except us has free will."

Greg turned away from me and started walking towards the front door, laughing, "That's some wild shit man. You fall down the stairs and hit your head or… something? Whatever."

He walked out the door.

Great. He doesn't believe me. Well, he'll learn soon enough.

I looked over to where my saddlebag was, only to see its contents spilled all over the floor.

Damn it Greg.