Disclaimer: I don't own any of this

Chapter Two: Wet Dreams

two days until Halloween

Sakura sighed contently as she plopped down on the stool next to Naruto. She looked back to see Sasuke lifting a piece of the raamen banner out of his way before he walked through the raamen stand and took the seat to the other side of the blonde.

They waited for their sensei (Naruto insisted they shouldn't, even if he was paying) until they ordered and Sakura propped her chin on her palm and looked at her teammates.

"Two days! I can't wait! Are you guys ready for it?" She chirped excitedly.

Sasuke nodded, staring at his unopened chopsticks.

"Almost! I just have to add some details tebayo." Naruto chirped back.

"Wait, are you MAKING your costume?" Sakura's eyes got big when Naruto nodded happily.

"Yeah, it's much better than trying to search for just the right thing. I gave up after a couple hours and just bought the material myself."

"You can sew?" Sakura was flabbergasted.

Naruto gave her a weird look. "Sewing machines aren't that hard to figure out, Sakura chan."

"So what are you making, Naruto?" Kakashi asked, mimicking Sakura's pose much to her annoyance.

Naruto giggled and everyone stared. "I can't tell you! You have to wait and see tebayo!"

Sakura pouted and leaned forward slightly to look past Naruto. "What about you, Sasuke kun? You going to tell us yet?" She pleaded. Sasuke shook his head 'no' and she sighed in defeat.

Their raamen arrived and Naruto half-yelled itadakimasu and dug into his bowl.

"Are you sure you won't join us for trick-or-treating, Naruto?" Sakura asked, blowing on her noodles to cool them.

Naruto paused. "I'm sure. Gaara doesn't want to so we're going to watch a couple movies at my place and then head to the party about half an hour after it starts."

"Why does it matter what Gaara wants to do? If you want to come trick-or-treating, then come." Sasuke grumbled at his raamen. Honestly, he had only agreed to go trick-or-treating with Sakura and the rest of the Rookie 9 because he had thought for sure that Naruto was going to be there.

"Because I'm his date for the evening, teme!" Naruto growled past a mouthful of noodles.

Sasuke's grip on his chopsticks tightened and he swallowed the snarl rising up his throat. He really needed to get off his lazy ass and kill the stupid redhead already. Then Naruto would for sure be his for the taking.

"I'm glad Gaara san has found somebody. He's already nineteen, it's about time." Sakura nodded to herself.

"Yeah, me too." Naruto smirked.

"Yeah, Sasuke," Kakashi grinned under his mask. "You're twenty! You plan on being a virgin for your whole life?"

Sasuke's chopsticks snapped in half.

"No way! You're still a virgin, Sasuke?!" Naruto started laughing at the infuriated glare he received. "I totally thought Orochimaru had raped you upside down and backwards!"

"What about you, dobe? You're still a virgin too!" Sasuke growled.

Naruto turned pink and stared at his chopsticks. "Actually…I lost my virginity on my 15th birthday…"

Sasuke saw red. The dobe had been having sex for five whole years? Without him?!

Team 7 watched the Uchiha storm out of the raamen shop and disappear on the roof of a nearby building.

"Should we go after him?"

"No, let him dislodge the stick in his ass himself." Naruto muttered darkly.

"So, Naruto, was it anyone we know?" Kakashi asked.

"Huh? Oh, no, it was just some random girl that Erosannin picked out for me…"

"That's horrible!"

"I'm sure it wasn't." Kakashi smiled.

"You pervert!" Sakura screeched and punched her sensei solidly on the arm, making Naruto wince just watching.

"Gomen, gomen, Sakura," Kakashi pleaded and she huffed and they finished their raamen in relative silence.

:break:

Naruto closed his door behind him and shrugged off his jacket.

I wonder what the hell was wrong with teme earlier?

Seriously, kit? You really aren't the brightest bulb, are you?

The hell's that supposed to mean?! Naruto growled back, slipping his shoes off.

The Uchiha was jealous, dumb ass.

Naruto paused in the doorway of his kitchen.

Jealous? Jealous of what?

Why, kami, WHY did you have to give me the idiot?

Fucking fox—

He was jealous of you, moron! You can't honestly tell me you haven't noticed the way he looks at you? It's creepy…

"… are you just fucking with me?" Naruto growled out loud to his zipper as he started stripping for bed.

Yes, Naruto, because I'm just that evil.

…………………….

Retard.

Hey!

Naruto settled into his bed and turned off the lamp.

No raamen for a week.

You little fucker!

Naruto grinned to himself and closed his eyes.

:break:

one day left until Halloween

Naruto flopped around in his bed, trying to fight off the sunbeams that were invading his dream. He groaned and rolled over and jolted away when he felt why he wanted to keep dreaming.

"The hell?" He sat up and glared at the morning wood that tented his blankets proudly. "Kyuubi," he whined, wiping his eye.

Yes? Kyuubi's voice came, sugary sweet, which made it a hundred times scarier.

I thought you said you'd stop the wet dreams for me!

You take away my raamen you get hell to pay, bitch.

Naruto twitched. I'm not a girl.

Yes, I can see that. The fox sounded far too amused at the situation.

Kami, I fucking hate you sometimes.

Don't worry, kit, the feeling is completely mutual. Now go take a shower so I don't have to look at that anymore.

Psh. You made it, you can live with it; I'm not ready for a shower.

Kyuubi growled and Naruto tensed as the sound echoed through his mind.

Suddenly a stream of images of naked Sasukes flooded his mind and he choked and groaned when he managed to magically get even harder.

You win this time, damn fox. Naruto threw the covers back angrily and trudged to the shower to the sound of Kyuubi snickering in his head.

:break:

Naruto glared down at his raamen breakfast, his hair still dark gold and matted from his shower.

I can't believe you used Sasuke against me.

Why don't you ask him out already? Kyuubi offered lazily, glad that Naruto didn't have anything but raamen to eat.

Oh, yeah, cuz it's just that easy. Naruto snapped back, inner voice dripping with sarcasm

Stupid kit, it is 'just that easy'. Just walk up to the bastard say 'hey, let's be boyfriends!'

That's gay even for us, Kyuubi…

Tch, whatever. Just slam him up against the wall and dry fuck him, I'm sure the little bitch would love that.

Naruto spewed his raamen and Kyuubi frowned at the lost delicacy.

What the FUCK, Kyuubi?! If you don't stop with that shit, I'm going to stop talking to you!

…………….

………………………….?

Shukaku no gaki is here.

Naruto sighed and downed the raamen broth and made his way to the door. He yanked it open just as Gaara had been about to knock.

"Come in," Naruto yawned and ruffled his hair.

Gaara did so and stared at the blonde who wore nothing but a wifebeater and a pair of orange raamen boxers. Gaara wasn't particularly sexually attracted to Naruto but sometimes the boy just screamed to be man-raped.

Gaara coughed softly and cleared his head of dirty thoughts and lifted the bag he had brought slightly so Naruto would see.

"Brought it."

"'Kay, this way," Naruto stifled another yawn and guided Gaara to his living room, which was in the worst state of disarray that Gaara had ever witnessed. And Kankuro couldn't clean his room for shit!

Naruto waded through the books and scrolls and clothes and plants and sat down at a small table covered with a sewing machine and a huge pile of baby blue silk.

"You seriously made it? With a sewing machine?"

Naruto glared at him. "Does everyone think I'm too stupid to work a sewing machine?"

Gaara bit the inside of his cheek to hold back his habitually honest reply. Judging by how the blonde's nose scrunched up, though, it seemed Kyuubi had answered just as honestly.

"Fuckers," Naruto mumbled so himself, digging through the pile of silk.

Gaara took the cue and retrieved his costume from the bag and laid it out on the edge of the table.

"Alright, here it is." Naruto said, standing and holding the dress against himself.

Gaara stared. It was a beautiful dress, a simple design in the baby blue silk. He found himself wishing he could make something that beautiful.

"So?" Naruto asked. "How much decoration do we want? I'll put some white lace on it, since you have white ruffles, but do we want some embroidery to match yours? Is that gold? I'm sure I've got some gold thread somewhere…"

"No," Gaara breathed as he reached out and touched the cold silk. "Just a little bit of lace will be perfect."

"Great, I really didn't want to have to find that stupid thimble. So gold jewelry? A choker? Anything in my hair? I'll put it in a bun. Ooh, what about a fan?"

Gaara smirked, watching the blonde finally wake up, over a dress at that. "That's fine, Naruto, just keep it simple."

"Heh, wait until Lee sees this! He'll be so jealous! I bet he'll just leave Sakura to gossip with Ino and come claim you!"

"What about you then?"

"Huh? I guess I'll just hang out with the guys then, ne?"

"Is Sasuke going to be there?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed at him suspiciously. "Yes. Why do you care?"

"Just making sure you won't be too lonely."

"Hn."

"Well, I should be on my way, then. Do you want to come have brunch with me and Gai's team?"

Naruto shuddered at the thought of Neji's milky eyes. That guy seriously creeped the blonde out sometimes.

"No, thanks. I just ate."

"Alright. So I'll come by around five tomorrow?"

"That's the plan. I'll clean up some, don't worry." Naruto snickered at Gaara's distasteful glance around the room.

"Okay. I'll show myself out." Gaara nodded and put his costume in the bag and made his way out of the living room.

Naruto sat down and sighed when the door closed. He had a lot to do. So he did the most logical thing in his situation: he took a nap. Tch, he could do it all in twenty minutes with a few clones anyway.

Tsuzuku