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Chapter Three: Sasu kitty

Gaara gazed at the mirror in determination. He leaned forward and looked at the bruise-like circles around his eyes. He prodded one lightly and winced. He picked up the slender tube from the counter, popped the lid off, brought the pencil up to his eye, took a deep breath, and debated how much of his dignity would be lost with this simple act. Naruto had told him to stop giving into peer pressure but damnit, it was Naruto who suggested this! Damn blonde needed to make up his damn mind! Gaara decided that he would stop giving into peer pressure and relabeled the situation as a very good suggestion given by a close friend. He nodded at himself and steadied his hand. Twenty minutes and several growls later the circles around his eyes had been darkened to a deep black by Tenten's never-before-used eyeliner. Gaara studied his eyes in the mirror and, content that none of the dark purple was visible, snapped the lid back on the pencil. At that moment, Rock Lee came crashing though the bathroom door and Gaara jumped two feet in the air like a startled cat.

"Gaara kun! Are you alright! I called your name but you did not answer!" Lee was scanning him for injuries and stopped in confusion when he saw the eyeliner clutched tightly to the redhead's chest.

"I—I'm fine, Lee san, I was just about to come out." He inwardly cursed himself for not paying attention enough to hear his name.

"YOSH! I came to tell you that I am soon to depart on the youthful activity of trick-or-treating! Are you sure you do not wish to join in this beautiful display of friendship?!"

Gaara wondered how he could have a crush on such a total spaz.

"I'm quite certain, Lee san." Gaara straightened and pretended to dust himself off, slipping the eyeliner up his sleeve.

"Then I shall see you later at the party! Have a joyously youthful time with Naruto san!" Lee shot him a giant smile and disappeared in a blur of green.

Gaara let out a sigh and slumped back against the tile of the bathroom wall, staring at the destroyed door.

Kami, if we do get together, if he moves in with me, I'll be dead within the week. Gaara banged his head against the wall. Maybe I could get Naruto to pressure me into asking someone else out. That Hyuuga girl seems nice, very quite, less…spastic…

Gaara stood back up and shook his head. Lee's spastic energy and excitement about LIFE was what he was attracted to in the first place because obviously Gaara had a death wish.

He stepped over the chunks of door and gathered his costume from the guest bedroom and locked the house behind him. At the very least, the evening was sure to be interesting.

:break:

Sasuke was having a horrid time.

He had stupidly kept his word and had shown up in costume to go trick-or-treating with Sakura and the others.

After the bloodied tissues had been taken care of, the girls had flocked to him and started cooing and giggling and touching him. He swore to Kami that one of them touched his crotch. And he knew that Neji touched his ass. After that, they all latched onto him as they walked door to door and insisted (dragged) him to get candy with them. Everywhere they went there were little brats talking to him, pulling on his costume, he'd never before wondered if he could live with himself if he killed a child but now he seriously considered it and yeah, he was pretty sure he could handle it.

All in all Sasuke didn't think he'd ever been so annoying in his life. He kept looking at his watch, counting down the minutes until he could see what Naruto had been so secretive about. He hadn't seen the dobe since he had found out some bitch had stolen the blonde's virginity from its rightful owner and he was already anxious, especially considering he was with that redhead freak all alone.

Sasuke paused in glaring at shock of pink hair under the nurse's hat. Naruto was Gaara's date. Gaara being a guy. Which meant… his inner chibi Sasuke gasped and squealed. Naruto was gay?! Or at least bi? Sasuke almost fell to his knees to thank Kami but there were people around. But there was still that redhead in the way. Sasuke glanced over to Sakura laughing at Lee's antics. He relaxed his stance and called out to the green ball of energy.

Lee stopped in the middle of an impressively flexible stretch and stared at Sasuke in shock. He couldn't remember the last time the Uchiha had spoken to him.

"Yes, Uchiha san?" Lee said at a normal volume, shocking everyone within hearing range.

"Gaara's rooming with you, right? Does Gaara like Naruto? You know, like as a lover?"

Sasuke rose an eyebrow at how Lee paled slightly and frowned. Sasuke hadn't seen the boy frown seriously since the Third had died.

"I do not know, Uchiha san. He has not mentioned anything of the youthful sort to me. However, he was putting on make up before he left for Naruto san's…"

"Doesn't he always wear make-up?" Sakura asked.

Lee shook his head vigorously. "The marking on his eyes are honestly from his insomnia. I have heard him in the middle of the night wandering around. We spoke one of the nights…" Lee looked away. "I am sorry I do not know, Uchiha san."

"Hn." So the green freak had a crush on the red freak? Then what the hell was he doing with the pink bitch?? Sasuke felt a migraine coming on so he checked his watch. It was time for the party. Finally! He really needed some alcohol.

"Oh, Ino! We should head back! I'm sure Hinata and Kiba are already there!" Sakura linked arms with Sasuke and Ino and dragged them in the direction of Ino's house. Sasuke's palm longed for the comforting weight of his katana but his costume unfortunately did not provide him with means to kill the pink one.

:break:

Naruto smoothed his skirt down for the nth time as they walked to Ino's house. He squished his boobs, reassured by their presence that he at least didn't look like a TOTAL idiot in a dress.

Gaara looked over at him and smirked slightly. "You look nervous, Naruto."

"No shit I'm nervous, I'm in a fucking dress tebayo!"

"You look very lovely."

Naruto glared at him. "That's not supposed to be a good thing!"

"It's Halloween. Relax."

"I just feel like I'm going to get raped or something…" Naruto admitted, glancing around at the dark bushes surrounding them.

"You're a ninja, you're not going to get raped." Gaara deadpanned.

"Hello?! Have you NEVER watched hentai!? Ninjas get raped all over fucking place! And besides how the hell am I supposed to fight in a twenty pound dress and heels!?"

"It's really that heavy?" Gaara looked surprised again.

Naruto grabbed the skirt and pulled it up to show the ruffled petticoat under it that gave it its shape. "Yeah it's that fucking heavy dattebayo!"

"…Do you want to hold my hand?" Gaara asked monotonously.

"WHAT?!" Naruto shrieked and raised an arm to defend himself.

"If you're scared."

Naruto stared at him suspiciously past long dark eyelashes. "No, that's okay."

"Fine, suit yourself but quit being so skittish."

Naruto looked at him for a long moment before he turned and continued walking, Gaara followed shortly after.

"I'm just nervous, that's all dattebayo."

"It's Uchiha san, isn't? You like him."

Gaara held back a smirk at the shocked expression that plastered itself on Naruto's painted face.

"What the—? How did you—?"

"You know, I've been wondering…" Gaara said, completely ignoring Naruto. "I don't think that Lee is the type to get jealous, especially if the person he's jealous over seems happy."

Gaara stopped and whirled back to stare at the still shocked Naruto. "However, Uchiha san is an irrationally jealous and possessive person. If he likes you, he will without a doubt try to rip us apart tonight, and Lee will try to get us back together, even if he likes me."

Gaara held up his forearm. "So I have a plan that should get us all what we want."

Naruto stared at him a moment more before he nodded and laid his arm over the redheads, just like lords and ladies and then made their way up the walkway to Ino's front door.

:break:

Sasuke scowled at the world, leaning against a kitchen countertop littered with peanut shells and half empty beer bottles.

Naruto was late. And Sasuke was getting annoyed at the constant buzz he was maintaining without the ability to go over the edge and get drunk.

He growled and downed the rest of his beer before he shoved his hips from the counter and made his way to the front foyer, where he planned to lean against the cheesy mock-Grecian statue.

Just as he made it to the statue the door bell rang and Ino struggled past the pulsing bodies to open the door. Sasuke cringed at Ino's shrill squeal and decided to move forward when he glimpsed red hair.

"Oh my God, Naruto, I love it! You have to make me one!"

"Ah hah, if you pay me I'll make you anything you want tebayo." Sasuke's head snapped up halfway through shoving someone out of his way. That was Naruko's voice.

He saw Gaara standing there, looking vaguely amused, dressed like a lord, looking at where Ino, who was dressed (surprise, surprise!) as a French maid, and the person hidden behind her, presumably Naruto.

Ino moved and Sasuke stopped dead where he was and he could feel his jaw drop. Naruto stood there in his sexy jutsu. His blonde hair was twisted behind his head with small blue rhinestones clipped in it, his eyes were made up with eyeliner and soft blue eye shadow, his lips were painted a dark glossy pink, his ears were glittering with gold and diamond dangling earrings, his neck was shown off with a baby blue ribbon choker, and his abundant breasts were pushing against the lace of the top of his dress in a classic corset manner. Sasuke only got that far before he felt something warm trickle down to his lip. He wiped it away swiftly and committed to memory how gorgeous the tanned dobe looked in the baby blue silk form-hugging dress and white silk gown gloves.

He'd be lucky to be rid of the wet dreams in a month.

Naruto smiled at Ino brightly and Gaara wrapped a hand around his waist and whispered something into his ear and they departed from Ino to the other part of the house.

Sasuke growled. He would kill the Kazekage if he laid a hand on his dobe!

He ducked back into the crowd and stalked them into the other room.

:break:

He's watching you, kit.

I know.

What are you going to do?

Go with Gaara's plan, of course; I'm just so nervous!

Naruto smiled graciously as Sakura molested him, checking out his outfit. He caught Lee staring at him, then glancing at Gaara only to go right back when their eyes met.

Naruto said something about liking Sakura's slutty nurse outfit. Not that he said it that way.

Sakura leaned on Lee and grinned at them. "Lee dressed like a doctor for me! Isn't he sweet?" Lee fidgeted in the lab coat thrown over his usual spandex.

"He is." Gaara agreed, staring straight into Lee's eyes. Naruto held back a snicker when Lee's cheeks colored.

"How—how were the movies, Gaara kun?" Lee asked.

"They were fine. Filled with phony blood and youth." Gaara smirked.

Naruto pulled on Gaara's arm slightly. "Let's go get something to drink tebayo!" He grinned brightly up at the red head.

Gaara nodded and they headed to the kitchen, both fully aware of the three sets of eyes staring at them.

They grabbed a couple beers and Naruto dragged the redhead out to the dance floor. He grinned at the gothic music pulsing and started moving against his date sensually, determined not to be nervous at the gaze burning at him. If anything, he should give Sasuke a show. Gaara gulped when Naruto pushed his breasts against him and started moving his hips in a way Temari would kill them both for if she were here.

"Come on, Gaara, start feeling me up!" Naruto whispered in his ear and Gaara swallowed again and put his hands on Naruto's hips. "It has to look natural, man, come on, fucking feel me up!" Naruto hissed into his ear and goddamn the peer pressure, his hands were sliding up Naruto's sides and over his arms. Naruto grinned at him and Gaara resisted the urge to stomp on the blonde's satin blue heels. Gaara caressed his waist and Naruto dipped slightly, making Gaara's hands come near his breasts and Gaara got the point. Unfortunately, the song ended before he could manage to grope the blonde and immediately someone was tapping on his shoulder. He turned around to see two furious Sharingan swirled at him. He moved away instantly and Naruto gasped when he saw Sasuke's costume. He didn't know whether to drool, blush, or laugh at the skin tight leather cat suit, ears, tail, and chunky high heels. He decided laughing was the safest in regards to his ass.

"I didn't know you were a fetishist dattebayo!" Naruto giggled.

"I didn't know you liked dressing like a woman." Sasuke countered smoothly and wrapped his hands around Naruto's waist, pulling him forward against the smooth shiny leather.

"I'm not dressing like a woman, teme, I am a woman dattebayo." Naruto argued, not realizing that it would only make things worse.

"Hn. Still hot." Sasuke growled as he started moving them into a dance.

Naruto blushed and moved his hips with the small sways Sasuke was making.

"No whiskers?" Naruto managed at last.

Sasuke's hand cupped his face and Naruto almost started laughing again when he saw that they were painted black with small clear rhinestones glued on them. But Sasuke's intense stare quickly cleared his mind.

"I would steal yours," Sasuke whispered, tracing them with his nails, causing little shivers to go up Naruto's spine. "But they look beautiful on you."

Naruto's face flared up and he ducked into Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke's hands trailed down his back and onto his hips and pulled him even closer and Naruto gasped softly when Sasuke started thrusting against him, turning it into a dance by alternating right and left. Naruto almost moaned when Sasuke lowered his head to whisper into his ear. "Do you really want to be here with Gaara?" Sasuke accented the name with a harder thrust and Naruto blushed to realize that he really was anatomically correct and it was a good thing he made panties.

"Who else would I be here with? You?" Naruto swallowed when he felt Sasuke smirk against his ear.

"If you were with me, we wouldn't be here. I'd have you at my place, doing deliciously sinful things to you in this dress."

Naruto's knees faltered and he thanked Kami that the song ended before he threw himself at the Uchiha. Sasuke let go of him and Naruto almost fell over. Sasuke smirked at walked off the dance stage. Naruto stared in shock as the cat tail flicked around Sasuke's legs. He wasn't secretly a cat-man, was he??

Seriously, kami, WHY?!

Naruto snapped out of his stupor and grit his teeth. He had to find Gaara and change the plan.