Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Chapter Four: "I lost my virginity in that bathroom...:

Luckily Gaara was rather easy to find considering that there were only so many tall redheads next to bowl haircuts.

Naruto stomped over as best he could in heels and grabbed Gaara's arm. Lee stared at them and smiled too brightly, even for him. "I'll leave you two alone to embrace your youthful passion!"

Naruto stared after him. The fuck does that mean?

"What's wrong Naruto?"

"Fuck, Gaara, we need to change the plan!"

"Why?"

"Because!! Sasuke's totally into me and it really sucks being horny as a woman, it feels nasty and I really don't want to cry and ruin my make-up as well tebayo!"

Gaara stared at him in shock. "What?!" He whispered.

"Okay, maybe you didn't need to know that but whatever! Point is Sasuke likes me so I don't want him having to try to comfort me and shit! We need to change it!"

"How?"

"Umm….fuck!...um…I could just dump you for him?"

"Just like that? One dance and you're in love?"

"They like gossip and it's easy to remember tebayo!"

"No, it's not good enough." Gaara said, staring down at the blonde, his lips pursed in concentration.

"I could get jealous…maybe."

Naruto rose an eyebrow. "You know how to act?"

"Shut up."

"How bout we just tell everyone what's going on? That's how they do in the movies, right?"

"This isn't a movie, baka."

"Shit."

They needed a way that everything could work out guilt-free.

"Fuuuuuuuuck."

"Hush, Naruto, I'm trying to think."

"You do that. I'll be back." Naruto squirmed and ran as best he could in the bodies to the bathroom.

Gaara paced behind a couch. Naruto could break up with him, saying he always loved Sasuke and he knew Gaara loved Lee but what if Lee didn't like him back? That'd prove to be very awkward. And what about Sakura? Lee would never just leave her abandoned.

Naruto sighed in relief as he emptied his bladder. He chewed his lip a moment before he lifted his skirt and looked at his panties where they were stretched between his knees. His nose scrunched up in distaste at the little stain of wetness.

"Oh, yuck, how can girls stand this?!" He dropped his skirt and got some toilet paper and went to wipe and froze at the sliding sensation. What the—

"SASUKE I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS DATTEBAYOOOO!!"

Sasuke paused and looked down the hall. It sounded like Naruto had just yelled at him. He walked over to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Hello?"

"Sasuke, you fucking bastard!"

Sasuke jumped away from the door with an amused smirk. "What did I do?"

The door jerked open and Sasuke rushed past the infuriated blonde and sat on the sink counter. Naruto whirled around, his teeth bared.

"Teme! Getting me all hot and bothered while I'm a girl! Do you have any idea how gross it feels!?"

Sasuke's kitty ears twitched and he held back a laugh. "You're…wet?"

Naruto glared at him and growled. Sasuke smirked and jumped down from the counter, coming chest to chest with Naruto. "Now how did that happen? Fooling around with Gaara?"

"Fucker. You know how it happened! I can't believe you! You did it on purpose tebayo!"

Sasuke pushed Naruto against the door, locking it. "Not my fault you can't control your hormones, dobe."

"Don't call me that! And yes it is!" Naruto tried to shove Sasuke away but Sasuke only pushed himself closer.

"Are you saying I excite you?" Sasuke whispered and licked Naruto's ear.

Naruto froze and Sasuke smirked. The dobe was so his.

"Teme, don't flatter yourself." Naruto growled and twisted from Sasuke to lean against the counter.

Sasuke licked his lips and lifted Naruto to sit on the counter, ignoring the indignant squawk he got from the blonde. Naruto kicked at his crotch but he caught the blonde's foot and leaned in close and slowly ran his hand up the dobe's leg. Naruto whimpered.

"Fuck, I told Gaara I was going to get raped tebayo!" Naruto whimpered, and inhaled to scream rape but Sasuke's mouth cut him off.

Naruto stiffened in surprised as the warm mouth moved over his, gently asking for entrance.

Fuck, kit, let him fuck you!! We haven't gotten laid in five years and you've wanted him for how fucking long?! Get on with it!!

Shut the fuck up, Kyuubi. Naruto growled back. He pushed Sasuke away and this time Sasuke let him.

Naruto stared hard into the black eyes that swirled with emotion.

"What the fuck, Sasuke? Are you just going to fuck me cuz all the other girls will expect a relationship?"

Sasuke smirked. "Tch. You think I like girls?"

Naruto's eyes widened. "Then why the hell are you coming onto me in my sexy jutsu?"

"Because," Sasuke swallowed and Naruto stared. He'd never seen the Uchiha so vulnerable. Sasuke's kitty ears flattened. "I like you Naruto. I always have."

Naruto's eyes widened. "Sasuke…"

Sasuke leaned forward and caught Naruto's lips and a shock went up his spine when Naruto kissed back. Sasuke leaned them futher onto the counter and wrapped his hands around Naruto's waist and Naruto reached up and held Sasuke's face, brushing his thumbs over Sasuke's jaw and cheeks as their tongues met in a joyous dance.

Sasuke pulled back and leaned into Naruto's hand. "Naruto…I think I really love you…" He whispered against the tan palm, staring at Naruto in the hopes of relaying his sincerity.

Naruto smiled and leaned up to kiss him. Sasuke stared down at the grinning blonde. "I love you too, Sasuke tebayo."

Fucking hell! You love him, he loves you, now fuck! You damn humans take far too fucking long to mate with all your mushy feelings getting in the way!!

Naruto fell back and huffed in annoyance.

"What's wrong?"

"Kyuubi won't shut the fuck up."

Naruto looked up into Sharingan and suddenly Sasuke was there inside his head with Kyuubi.

Fucking brat, get out and fuck him already!

Kyuubi! I told you to shut the fuck up!

I understand, Kyuubi. I'll get right on it.

What the fuck? Sasuke? Don't just leave!

Naruto glared up into Sasuke's black eyes. "The hell was that all about?"

"Well, Kyuubi is a very old and powerful demon, I think we should do what he says." Sasuke leaned down and licked Naruto's neck just above the ribbon. "Besides, I've waited long enough to ravish you."

"But I don't want to change back and forth between genders!" Naruto whined. "That takes energy tebayo!"

"Then don't."

"But you don't like girls."

"I'll manage if it's you. Besides, didn't I already tell you I think you're hot? So," Sasuke shimmied Naruto's skirt up. "I can't take you home right now but I can still do deliciously sinful things to you in this dress. What do you say?"

"Shut up and do it," Naruto growled playfully, reaching behind the Uchiha to undo the zipper in the back that kept the catsuit from peeling off him.

Sasuke smirked and leaned forward to capture Naruto's mouth and shrugged out of the top half of the one piece and removed Naruto's heels. Naruto smiled against his lips as the god awful satin contraptions clanked to the floor. Sasuke pulled away for a moment and unzipped and stepped out of his shoes, making him a couple inches shorter. He wiggled out of the catsuit and Naruto stared at how the tail stayed attached to him. Sasuke crawled onto the counter and recaptured Naruto's lips as his fingers danced up the tan thighs to the forgotten panties. Naruto gasped when Sasuke touched his panties over the core of his discomfort.

"Just rip them off," Naruto demanded, bucking against Sasuke's hand.

"How?" Sasuke hadn't been able to fit any kunai into his costume and he doubted Naruto had been able to either.

Naruto growled and reached back and popped open the medicine cabinet. "anything useful in there?"

Sasuke smirked at the pair of mini scissors and nodded. He grabbed them and Naruto closed the cabinet and leaned back again as Sasuke lifted his skirt even more and made quick work of the underwear. He tossed the scraps of cloth and scissors away and looked Naruto in the eyes.

"Are you sure about this?"

Naruto grinned. "Teme, you're the one losing your virginity, remember?"

"Hn." Sasuke moved closer and stole Naruto's lips in a passionate kiss and all at once he buried himself in the tight wet heat. Naruto gasped against his mouth and whined slightly and Sasuke groaned.

"Are—are you okay?" Sasuke panted out.

Naruto smacked his shoulder. "Baka, ask me that when I'm a guy and you're up my ass. Move tebayo!"

Sasuke chuckled and thrust back in.

Twenty minutes later Sasuke opened the door and met a very disgruntled-looking Kazekage.

"Took you long enough."

"Hn." Sasuke smirked at him.

"Sasuke, get back over here, my legs are all wobbly dattebayo!" Sasuke stepped back and wrapped his arm around the blonde.

"Oh, Gaara! I'm so sorry!! I totally forgot about everything!" Naruto looked near tears and Sasuke pulled him closer.

"It's fine, Naruto, this actually is perfect."

"Perfect?"

"Yes. I'll storm out and you come after me screaming about how we never loved each other and how I love Lee. I caught Sakura giving some guy head about ten minutes ago so that's cleared up and I'm going back home tomorrow so if Lee doesn't feel the same then it's no big deal."

"Wait, you two have been plotting all night?"

"Heheh," Naruto laughed nervously at the glare he received.

"Okay, but Naruto can't walk yet."

"Let me go, I'll be fine in a minute tebayo!"

Sasuke's kitty ears twitched and Naruto stared. "How are you DOING that?"

"The ears and tail are connected to me by chakra strings."

"Like Kankuro's puppets?"

"Yeah."

"Sweet! You should wear those more often tebayo." Naruto said huskily and Gaara smirked at the blush that went over the Uchiha's cheeks.

"Can you walk?"

Naruto shifted his weight. "As long as I'm not in those heels, yeah."

"Alright. Let's do this." Gaara closed his eyes in concentration and furrowed his brow and gritted his teeth.

"Ooh, scary." Naruto chimed and Sasuke nudged him slightly.

"Set. Go." Gaara stomped off, his body stiff with pretend rage. Naruto picked up his heels and ran after him.

"Wait, Gaara! I'm sorry! Please don't walk away from me! You know I've always loved him!" Silence fell over the front foyer and Naruto stopped and Sasuke came behind him and wrapped an arm around his waist. "And I know you're really in love with Lee! So don't be mad, Gaara, please! It would have never worked out!"

Gaara slammed the door behind him and Naruto hid his face in Sasuke's shoulder, hoping he wouldn't have to really cry. The foyer burst into gossip and Lee ran out the door screaming Gaara's name.

Sasuke smiled down at Naruto and in an instant they were gone.

Naruto gasped when they appeared in Sasuke's room. It was huge!

Naruto giggled and flopped onto the bed and smiled at Sasuke as the kitty crawled on the bed to meet him.

"A lot happened tonight dattebayo."

"Hn."

"I can't believe it. I'm still in shock." Naruto laughed at himself and peeled his gloves off and undid his hair.

"Hn."

"What's with you?" Naruto asked when Sasuke snuggled his neck.

"Change back. I want your real voice."

"…has anyone told you you're really adorable?"

Sasuke's tail went straight and he hissed slightly. "Don't say stupid shit, Naruto."

"Aww, is Shashuke embarrassed?" Naruto cooed at him.

The screech that resounded through the Uchiha compound when Sasuke tackled the dobe blonde was talked about for years that the Uchiha complex was really haunted and every Halloween the spirits really came back from the dead.

Sasuke smiled into the tan neck of his new found lover. "Happy Halloween, dobe."

Naruto was already passed out.

owari

I want to make a epilogue but I need some ideas since it's 3:30 am and my brain is fried! Please throw me some ideas!