"Christian, why didn't you tell me about her before?"
Christian sighed softly, his eyes shifting in both directions of the hallway. The last thing he wanted was for someone to walk into the middle of the conversation and make assumptions about this new girl. Bringing one of his hands up to his forehead, he followed Sean into his office. "I was waiting for the right time to tell you. I wasn't about to drop this bomb on you until I had all the facts straight. Why bother getting into dramatics over something that for all I knew was a mistake?"
Sean's office was proportional to Christian's own. As far as decor went, Sean was more conservative than he. His black metal desk sat in the same place as his and a large fish tank sat behind it where an array of brightly colored fish swam around aimlessly. Unlike him, Sean had a flat screen computer on his desk, along with a few photos of his wife, Julia, his son, Matt, and his daughter, Annie. This office was the place that they usually held their consultations. Before Amy came along, Christian liked to think he used his office for his close personal consultations...depending on the patient after all. Occasionally, they'd do consults in his office too, but mostly, they were held in Sean's office.
Sean placed his hands on his hips, glancing down at the floor. "How did this all happen?"
Christian exhaled sharply, shaking his head. "I was so God damn wasted, I couldn't even remember screwing the woman. I was still in high school for Christ's sake. Once I discovered what I could do with my dick, I wanted more. I was addicted. I didn't give a shit who I slept with." He scoffed. "All right, so things haven't changed, but shit Sean, it happened during a relentless game of Truth or Dare. I went and impregnated the bitch in a dark broom closet, over Spring Break."
Sean's brows furrowed in thought. "Spring Break?" Christian nodded his head. "You know I'm not the type to pry into your personal affairs, but why didn't you mention this back in college? If you were struggling with this, you could have come to me, Christian. You know that."
Pivoting on his heels, Christian began pacing back and forth in an attempt to shake off some of his frustration. "I just said I was too wasted to remember. That's all the information I got out of the bitch. If I was too drunk to remember what year it happened, I'm sure I didn't consider putting a rubber on my dick before I screwed her. I was never there when this girl was conceived! I never knew about this until she showed up in my office a day ago."
"Did Amy have a birth certificate when she first showed up here?"
He nodded his head, placing his hands firmly on his hips. "She did, but I was too paranoid to believe that this was real. After what happened with Wilbur..." His voice trailed off, shaking his head in discouragement. He couldn't let himself get emotional over this again. Not now. He stopped pacing and fixated his gaze on the floor. "I didn't want to believe that that was my signature on the certificate, but there it was. It was brought to my attention that the only way she was able to get my signature on that piece of paper was to wait. Wait until I was too wasted to remember." He sighed wearily.
Sean let out a sigh of his own. "I'm sorry, Christian. That this had to be brought on you."
He brought one of his hands up to rub his forehead, his head beginning to throb. Slowly, he lifted his eyes up to meet with Sean's. He shook his head. "I don't know how I could have let this happen. The only thing I know is...she's my daughter." He swallowed the lump in his throat, his emotions beginning to rise to the surface. His tone softened with his next words, "she's my daughter, Sean, and whether I like it or not...I have to try and be a father to this girl."
Sean sighed softly before gradually nodding his head in understanding. "So she wasn't here for a consult before."
He exhaled sharply at the thought, biting his bottom lip. "I hardly think I'll be operating on my own daughter anytime soon. The poor girl is terrified of hospitals. You should have seen her earlier today. When we went in for the paternity test, she could barely sit still long enough to get her blood drawn."
A sympathetic smile crossed Sean's face. There was a long pause between them before he spoke his next words, in the gentlest way possible. "I'm not trying to ruin your chances of fatherhood again, Christian, but if this girl already has a family, do you honestly want to take her away from that?"
His heart constricted in his chest, not knowing how to respond to that question. He shuffled towards the large window across the room and stood before it, staring out at the parking structure that sat adjacent to the building. The afternoon sunlight cast shadows on his woeful features as the branches of the palm trees wafted in the light breeze. "I don't want to take her away from her family. That's not what I'm trying to do...but Wilbur is gone. No matter how hard I try, I can't deny it any longer. This girl...Amy, was my daughter before she was theirs. Had I known about her, I would have protected her in the same way I had Wilbur." He swallowed the lump in his throat as a single tear rolled down his cheek. A deep sigh escaped him as he slowly turned around to face his colleague, who watched him intently with compassionate eyes. "I've been given a second chance, Sean. I don't want to be selfish, but deep down inside, I know this girl needs me...just as much as I need her. I can't just walk away from this."
Sean strolled towards him and set a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I understand your point of view, Christian. I'm not saying you shouldn't take the responsibility, but you have to put yourself in her position."
"I've been in her position, Sean. Are you forgetting I was adopted?" He exhaled sharply. "In any case, I'd be a better parent than her bitter and egotistical mother. The bitch wouldn't even take the time out of her busy and mediocre life to see her. Not even for five minutes. If she's not going to make an effort to be a suitable mother than by God, I'll be the best father I can be to Amy."
Sean's brows furrowed inquisitively. "Are we talking about her biological mother or her adoptive mother?"
He turned his head to meet eyes with him, his gaze growing testy. "I'm talking about the woman I impregnated, who, from what I heard, would have rather focused her attention on finishing high school instead of taking care of an innocent child for more than a month."
"Well, I don't see any harm in spending time with her, but I would think twice before you decide to become her prominent guardian. I'm guessing she hasn't discussed this with her parents yet. If I were you, I would lay low for a while. Just to be on the safe side."
Although Sean usually meant well, there were some things that he was determined to take care of on his own terms. Even if Sean was already a parent, he hadn't been through what Christian had been through in the past year. He cringed as his head throbbed with the migraine that had taken place there. "If, by laying low, you mean turn my back on her, I can't do that." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "It might sound crazy, considering I've only known her a few days, but to me..." His voice broke with his next words, "I feel like I've known her my whole life."
Sean gave his shoulder a squeeze for reassurance. "Just as long as you're careful about this. You don't want to find yourself in the middle of a domestic dispute or lawsuit for that matter. If her parents are understanding people, they might be willing to provide visitation rights."
His brows furrowed at his partner's last choice of words, his eyes fixing on him in vexation. "Visitation rights? God damn it Sean, I'm her biological father. They can't prevent me from seeing my own child. I've been down that road before and I'm not about to let it happen again! If push comes to shove, I'll fight for the right to be her legal guardian. Even if it means pending a trial." He pursed his lips, his emotions threatening to overcome him once again.
Sean sighed in frustration. "I'm not trying to be the devil's advocate here, Christian. I'm simply looking out for you, just like I always have. I know what happened with Wilbur but this isn't necessarily the same situation. I understand how much you want to be a father to this girl, but you have to look at the factors at work here. She has a family, who, for all you know, she could be content with. Just think this thing through before you start making any rash decisions."
"Jesus Sean! I'm not asking her to move-in with me!" He lowered his voice, fighting back the tears that were already welling up in his eyes. "All I want...all I've ever wanted was a child of my own. The one chance I had at being a father...went to shit. I was so intent on being such a big part of Wilbur's life, I got over-confident. I surpassed my own expectations. I would have given my own life for him," his voice broke with emotion, a tear rolling down his cheek. He took a breath to compose himself. "It's no coincidence that this girl decided to show up now. Shortly after I got the message about Wilbur. I may not have been there when she was born, but I can sure as hell be here for her now. There's something inside me that makes me want to protect her. She's a part of me now. In many ways, we seem to share similar traits. There are things I see in her that I see in myself, and I know that given time...I can be just as good of a father-if not better-than I was to Wilbur. I can't walk away from her and I won't." He scowled, dropping his gaze to his feet. His heart constricted in his chest at the thought of being seperated from Amy. He couldn't fathom it for a minute.
A smile played at the corners of Sean's mouth. He set both of his hands on Christian's shoulders and gave them a light squeeze. "I believe you can be, Christian. I witnessed it just a few moments ago in your office. If you truly want that family you've wanted for so long, you have my blessing, but if this doesn't go as you planned, you still have me. You still have Julia, Matt, and Annie. We're all here for you. No matter what happens, you'll always have us. We'll always be your family, and you'll always be ours."
He pursed his lips, on the verge of breaking down but held back. Exhaling sharply, he turned to Sean and the two men embraced each other in a loving hug. As much as he tended to neglect Sean's advice at times or get into small tiffs with him, at the end of the day, they still thought of each other as brothers. Christian didn't have but a few close friends, but the ones that he had managed to hang onto did not mean as much to him as Sean. They had been through so much over the years, and he couldn't imagine his life without him.
After a moment, Christian released his colleague and cleared his throat. Wiping a few stray tears from his eyes, he sighed softly, putting on a smug smile. "Hey, at least I won't be dealing with Gina's shit anymore. Call me crazy, but I think I've had just about enough of these bitter, sex-crazed hens attempting to foster a child."
Sean's brows furrowed in thought. "While we're on the subject, whatever happened to Gina?"
Christian rolled his eyes, scoffed and shook his head. "Frankly, I don't give a shit. The last time I saw the bitch, she had opened up her own God damn buffet line for every hard up guy in the city. She probably went back to her SA meetings in search of redemption."
As usual, Sean did not have any comment on the matter. He stole a glance at his wristwatch before looking over at Christian. "Our three o' clock should be here by now. You might want to slip into your lab coat while there's still time to spare."
He nodded his head and squared his shoulders. "I was just about to do that." Without wasting another minute, he headed towards the door. Stepping out into the hallway, he was immediately met with Liz, who looked somewhat more peevish than usual. What now? He thought with another roll of his eyes.
"I thought you might like to know. Your potential one night stand that you brought with you, has snuck into the lounge, and is digging through our fridge for a snack as we speak. Honestly Christian, can you ever keep these girls on a leash?"
He cringed, disgusted at the phrase in which she referred to his daughter. He sighed irritably, glaring at the woman before him. "First of all, she's not my one night stand. Secondly, it was Sean who offered her a snack, not me. I don't see anything wrong with that."
"Unless she is a patient, I don't see why we're providing this girl with food. What's the matter, Christian? Have you squandered your fortunes on yet another useless amenity?" Liz cocked an inquisitive brow his way.
He was not phased in the least by her words, and although his frustration was growing, he kept a cool head about it. "The last time I checked, it was considered a courtesy to offer your guest a refreshment, even when they visit your office. Perhaps you should consider this a custom in your favor, rather than offering up your guests a bitter tongue-lashing whenever they stop by."
Liz placed her hands on her hips. "Well, I'm sorry to be the barer of bad news, but if you're planning on taking this girl to an expensive dinner in the hopes that she'll sleep with tonight, it's not going to work. This one made it perfectly clear that sleeping with you would be a callous mistake."
His stomach turned at the vulgar thoughts she was putting in his head. He couldn't continue to go on with this image in his head. It was too retched for a father to stomach. "All right, cut the whole one night stand bull shit. It's making me sick." An astonished look came over Liz's face. He knew what he had to do. Now was as good of a time as any. She wouldn't stop this baised sex-talk until the truth was out. Stealing a brief glance around the area--making note of anyone in hearing distance--he lowered his voice and spoke his next words. "This girl is my daughter."
The astonishment on Liz's face only grew. It seemed to take a her a moment to get over the shock before her brows furrowed inquisitively. She crossed her arms firmly over her chest. "Do you honestly expect me to believe that?"
He exhaled sharply, knowing perfectly well that she would refuse to believe he was a father. He shook his head with a roll of his eyes. "You know what? Fine. Don't believe me. I'm not looking for your approval."
"I never said I didn't believe you, Christian. It was hard enough to believe the first time you told me. Have you gone and adopted a second child in addition to Wilbur, or have you knocked up another woman?"
As much as he wanted to lash out at her or perhaps lose his composure, he wouldn't allow himself to succomb to that. Especially here. "I never knocked up Gina. I'm lucky I didn't contract an STD the first time I screwed the bitch." He sighed deeply before continuing. "Not that its any of your business, but I won't be seeing Wilbur anymore. His father took him and left South Beach. Amy is my daughter and I have the proof. Whether you choose to believe it is up to you. Either way, I'm not going to waste my time explaining myself to you anymore. I have work to do...unlike some of us." Squaring his shoulders, he cleared his throat and walked past her towards his office.
He should have known that Liz wouldn't believe him. He wasn't going to let anyone's opinion or criticism get in the way of being a good father. This was his OWN child, and even though she was a teenager who had a family of her own, he would not let that stop him at being there for her. Especially after he discovered her adoptive parents were divorced. Something inside him told him that now was the best time as any...to be her father.
Slipping inside his office, he strode towards the coat hanger in a corner of the room. Shrugging off his suit jacket, he grabbed the royal blue lab coat from the first hook and slipped it on. He set the suit jacket onto the hook where his lab coat had been, and proceeded to adjust the collar on his lab coat. Once that was done, his hands moved down to straighten out the sleeves at his wrists. He was ready to take a peek at his reflection in the mirror when the door opened. He turned his head in the direction of the door to see Amy strolling inside. In her hands, she carried a transparent plastic container that held a fruit salad inside it. A white plastic fork was wedged inside. He smiled softly and stepped towards her. "Find yourself a snack sweetheart?"
It seemed as though he had startled her. The minute he spoke, she jumped back a foot and drew in a sharp breath. "Oh! Shit, you scared me. I didn't think you were in here."
He chuckled softly, taking a few more steps towards her until he could slip his arm around her shoulders, bringing her close to his large upper body. "I'm sorry. I don't usually have that effect on people. Unless of course I have a reason to be. I just came in here to change. Sean and I have a consultation any minute now."
She cocked an inquisitive brow his way, slowly nodding her head. "Oh-kay. I guess I'll just stay here then." She lifted up the container in her hand, "I can eat this, right?"
He nodded his head. "Be my guest. Unless someone's name was on it, you're free to eat whatever you like."
She nodded with a small smile. "Okay." Stepping out of his embrace, she plopped back down in one of the wing chairs and shoved a piece of watermelon in her mouth.
"Just as long as you don't make a mess. That chair you're sitting in is worth more than you think. I don't want to spend time scrubbing fruit juice out of my eight hundred dollar Jacobson chair."
Her eyes widened in astoundment, almost choking on the piece of fruit in her mouth. "Eight hundred dollars! For both chairs!"
"No. Eight hundred dollars each."
Amy's brows arched, getting past her astonishment after a moment. She shifted in the chair and crossed her right leg over her left. "I didn't know they made designer chairs, but I'll try not to make a mess."
It might have seemed a bit presumptuous to complain about his chair, but it was unavoidable. He had never played a paternal role with someone Amy's age, other than Matt. Wilbur still had yet to become a teenager. As far as Christian was concerned, this was an entirely different situation. A situation that he would have to pace himself to get comfortable with. He nodded his head lightly. "Good." He stepped up beside the chair, leaned down and gave the top of her head a kiss before heading towards the door. "If you need anything, you should be able to find me in Sean's office. Otherwise, I should be back here later."
"Okay."
He took one last look at her. A tender smile crossed his face before he exited his office. He wanted to say something more, but he didn't know if he had enough courage to utter those three words. At least not yet. He made a commitment to himself to love her as much--if not more--than he loved Wilbur. However, he still had to get to know his daughter a little more. As he eased into the role of a father, he continuously found himself praying things worked out better than before. He couldn't imagine life throwing him anymore curve balls.