"You have a choice forehead, either stay with that bastard Sasuke and let him abuse you, or you can stay with me." The young Haruno was her addict and Ino Yamanaka was slowly becoming addicted.
……………………………
Addicted
……………………………
We are History, Right?
…..
All I'll can ever be to you
Is a darkness that we know,
And this regret I got accustomed to.
Once it was so right
When we were at our high,
Waiting for you in the hotel at night.
I knew I hadn't met my match,
But every moment we could snatch,
I don't know why I got so attached.
It's my responsibility,
And you don't owe nothing to me,
But to walk away I have no capacity.
He walks away,
The sun goes down,
He takes the day but I'm grown
And in your way,
In this blue shade
My tears dry on their own.
-Amy Winehouse
……………………………………………..
She couldn't deny the physical attraction any longer, she decided, gazing on as her blonde lover carelessly flirted with Shikamaru Nara. Sakura tapped her finger tips against the surface of her lunch table that was occupied by a litter of other females from the track team, blatantly ignoring one of them who tried to strike up a conversation with her, her focus rather on Ino Yamanaka.
"Would you be interested in trying out for Cross Country Sakura-chan?"
"Don't call me that."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
The girl murmured lowly, pushing her horn-rimmed glasses onto the bridge of her nose as she turned back to the other females. Her smothering green eyes averted to the other females at her table, sizing each of them up separately.
None of them would be able to take the place of Ino.
They were each different in their own ways but each bland, plain in her eyes.
Was she trying to upset her by flirting with that lazy bum?
Was she trying to get back at her for humiliating her in front of Sasuke?
The bell chimed in the distance, bringing her from her trance long enough to gather her discarded books from her table and leave the lunch room. Sasuke had been a distant memory to her ever since he cooled their relationship down a bit. She hadn't meant to get caught in the cross fire of love and hate with him but it just happened.
She was just a woman after all.
Sakura absently began to follow her blonde mistress into the nearest restroom, setting her books on the bathroom counter so she could gaze at her appearance. Ino jolted in surprise, almost dropping her own books as she glanced over to her cherry blossom. Why had she chosen to come to this restroom knowing this was her favorite restroom because it was the cleanest?
"You could've gone to a different bathroom Sakura."
"It is a free country if you haven't realized that sweet-heart."
"Don't call me sweet-heart. Your sweet-heart is still in the cafeteria."
"I am not with Sasuke any more due to the public display of affection I showered you with. I think he knew about our affair from the moment it began but didn't want to face the reality of me sleeping around with another woman." Sakura didn't make eye contact with her, instead musing her shoulder-length pink mane as she spoke to her ex-lover.
Ino was highly grateful in turn for her lack of eye contact, taking this time to focus on her cherry blossom slouched over the counter, her face almost pressed to the mirror as she applied more make-up to her face.
Apparently Sasuke had been all but happy to see her conversing with another female so soon after their break-up that he dragged her into the men's restroom and locked them into an empty stall, all the while knocking her head against the sides of the stall.
It had become a morning ritual to them, him clasping onto her as he punched and slapped her, her crying out for mercy as each blow not only messing her up physically but mentally also. Once he felt he had inflicted enough pain on her, he kissed her.
Yes, he kissed her.
The passion and chemistry was apparent as it had always been when they were together and when she felt as if she would explode from the heat venting from him, he would recoil from her.
Yet he would pull her against him and whisper that he still loved her.
That at least gave her a string of hope that he would take her back.
"I think that we should call this affair off all together. I can't take much more of Shikamaru's obvious flirting and me not being able to respond to it. I want to be with him terribly but this is holding me back."
She motioned from herself to Sakura and back, her piercing blue eyes watching as her cherry blossom flinched. She hadn't wanted to end their affair. She wanted it to last for a while longer so she wouldn't feel as lonely now that she didn't have Sasuke.
She wanted to be able to feed off of what ever Ino was giving her but ending their affair?
She hadn't thought the shy blonde would even think of it.
"So you're willing to break off everything you had with me just for Shikamaru Nara?"
"I don't even know why you're so upset, you were the one that said that you didn't even like me and that you just had sex with me just on a whim. I was just your play toy and now that I want out you aren't letting me?"
"It isn't about me liking you; it's just that now that our private fling has come to surface, my life is crumbling right before my eyes while yours is steady rising. Do you know what it feels like to lose someone that you deeply loved just because of some stupid experiment that lasted longer than it was supposed to? Do you?!"
Ino coiled back from her ex-lover, her enraged tone shocking her. Why was she showing this side of herself to her? She was more shocking to the blonde when she was hurt than any other time.
Ino simply gathered her fallen books, darting passed her frazzled cherry blossom in an attempt to leave the restroom before things got too out of hand. Sakura just followed her out of the restroom as other females slowly began to spill inside, grasping firmly onto the blondes wrist.
"Let go of me; people will see us…Shikamaru will see us!"
"I don't care if people see us or not! I'm not letting you throw away this affair just because our actions came to light to someone other than ourselves."
"Don't you get it," Ino shook free of her grasp, her golden brows drawn together in frustration.
"I don't want to have anything to do with you Sakura Haruno! You couldn't pick between me and Sasuke and now that he broke all contact off with you altogether, you quickly decide you want to be with me?! You're a joke."
She hastily fled from the scene as other students began cramming the halls with their light chit-chat's and high giggling. Sakura felt as if she were drowning in the mass of students, someone shoving her shoulder to get pass her and another even moving her aside.
Neither Sasuke nor Ino wanted her.
She understood from the start that someone's heart would get broken in the end but she hadn't expected for it to be hers.
"So this is what women of your kind do once they get dumped, mosey around the schools hallways until someone else comes to mend their broken heart?"
She wouldn't dare look up, fearing that if she glanced up into the dark eyes of Sasuke Uchiha that he would hit her again, but this time in from of everyone.
"I'm doing quite fine on my own without you. I didn't need a baby sitter when I was with you and I don't need one now."
"Who said you needed a baby sitter? I was simply implying that you may need another lady friend to mend your broken heart considering your previous one doesn't want anything to do with you. She made it perfectly clear."
"I don't need you to urge on my public humiliation Uchiha."
She tried to walk around him in order to not get into another verbal argument, but he managed to have a tight grip on her. She wanted nothing more than to whirl around and slap him right there in the open but she knew he wouldn't accept that.
"What do you want from me?!"
"Nothing in particular just that I miss this, you always taunting me with these revealing clothes and that sexy attitude of your."
"You do not miss me. You just miss the satisfaction of knowing that no one else could have me since I was already yours."
"That isn't entirely true. I loved you even when you had a commitment problem."
"Me? Commitment issues?!"
Her hand rose, poised to hit him but thought better of it and lowered it. Her green eyes scowling at him as a smirk took hold of his features, igniting more fire to the hell pit she was already in.
"Yes my dear, commitment issues and I believe your previous lover thought so also or she would've stayed with you."
He had hit the nail on the head with that one, causing her heart to swell with guilt because it was true. She had been going back and forth between the two and now she didn't have either of them. She felt stupid for even going behind his back in the first place.
It wasn't like he was a horrible boyfriend unlike what her other friends tried to force into her mind. He could be a bit controlling at times and possessive when it came to her wanting to hang out with her guy friends but other than that she found no fault with him.
That is until the hitting started.
He had slowly become an animal to her once he began to go out more with his male friends. They encouraged him to drink beyond his limits and pickup a bad smoking habit that left half of her underwear smelling of nicotine. He had even forced her to try smoking but she refused, therefore angering him into an animal-ballistic rage.
He began throwing her most cherished items that her mother gave her into the wall, making them brittle into tiny pieces, screaming out and calling her a bitch and whore and then he started hitting her. Forcing her up against the wall as he vented out all his frustration and anger out on her.
"Fuck off Sasuke; I don't want to be with you just as much as you don't want to be with me so why are we even pretending to like each other?"
"Well I do say you were always good at pretending. You sure as hell had me going when we were together. I even thought you….Christ you had me going."
He ran his fingers through his raven locks, letting go of her. Instead of leaving like she intended on doing, she stayed, her hands sinking into the pockets of her khakis. She wanted to object but decided against it as his fingers tucked her pink hair out of her face, his fingers lingering a bit longer against her cheek.
"I wasn't pretending with you. I had feelings for you that ran deeper than just the great sex Sasuke. I liked you ever since I was five years old. Five years old."
"I wasn't really too fond of girls then, you knew that Sakura considering my mother had pasted away."
"I had a crush on you. That I did not pretend; I even fell in love with you by time I turned ten, that I did not pretend either."
"Then why?"
"Why did I…sleep with her?"
His brows kissed his hairline as he waited for her reply, his hands resting upon her shoulders. She gazed up to him, her scowling lips turning into a full pout as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
"Because you….you began to hit me."
His dark eyes widened in surprise, his tongue darting out to wet his lips, a nervous habit that he couldn't seem to shake. Had she really turned to the embrace of another woman because of him altogether?
His remembered one night in particular where he drank so much that he couldn't even drive home, calling her so she could pick him up.
Apparently she hadn't come soon enough to his liking and punched her in the eye as soon as she climbed out of the car to help him. She had cried and muttered something about having a swollen eye in the morning but he paid no mind to her as he stumbled to the passenger side and closed the door behind him.
Once she began driving his ranting had turned into full blown rage as he slammed her head into the steering wheel for not driving in the direction that he instructed her to go in so she had to turn around and drive to his house all over again, making sure this time that she took the long way.
When she tried to help him into the house he shoved her into the cement, skinning her elbows and thus breaking the skin. Yet she still got up to try and help him into the house. He was being a complete jackass to her, bitching about how short her skirt was and where she should have been instead of out with her friends.
He was basically controlling her and when she brought it to light; he all but killed her in the house.
His eyes mirror that of horror as he gazed down to her, dropping his arms to his sides. He was the cause of her put-down; oblivious to her tears that were shed all those nights he came home too wasted to even show her that he loved her.
She was considered his other half but he was constantly beating her because he didn't trust any man near her and when she blatantly let men flock around her he became furious. She would always beg for mercy when each blow struck her harder than the last, clutching onto him in an attempt to calm him but he would never let up, wanting her to feel the pain she had caused him.
He had never truly known that he had driven her into the arms of another woman from the moment he began drinking. He might have as well been a monster in her eyes but she chose to stay with him even when he tried to murder her.
Even when he was sober he couldn't seem to do right for her.
Maybe their break-up was for the best.
"I don't want you to get the wrong impression of yourself Sasuke-kun. You were a wonderful boyfriend but it just became too physical on your part. I felt as if it was life and death whenever I was near you but at the same time I wanted to be around you, loving you."
"So we are history, right?"
His sullen dark eyes peered down at her, his hand outstretched to caress her flushed cheek. She shook her head, clutching his hand against her cheek, rubbing against his palm as if she were a cat.
"No…not even close."
………………………………..
I don't understand,
Why do I stress a man,
When there's so many bigger things at hand.
We could've never had it all,
We had to hit a wall,
So this is an inevitable withdrawal.
Even if I stop wanting you
And perspective pushes true,
I'll be some next man's other woman soon.
I couldn't play myself again,
I should just be my own best friend,
Not fk myself in the head with stupid men.
He walks away,
The sun goes down,
He takes the day but I'm grown
And in your way,
In this blue shade
My tears dry on their own.
…………………………………………………………..
Okay I know some people may be upset because she's back with Sasuke but you just have to keep reading to find out if she stays with him or try to ruin things between Ino and Shikamaru.
AnimexCookie