Title: Hyuuga Silliness

Rating: T

Pairing: None

Summary: A jutsu gone array by Hyuuga Hanabi ends up having some wonky setbacks.

Warnings: Crack and the breaking of the fourth wall

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. (Insert witty joke here)

XXX

Uchiha Sasuke stared in awe at the retreating figure of Hyuuga Hinata. He stood in the middle of the street, gaping like a dead fish in a most un-Uchiha-like manner for about three minutes.

A hand then heartily smacked him on the back.

"Ne, teme, what the hell are you looking at?"

The Uchiha, a most angsty and unpredictable beautiful creature, twitched. The left side of his face became immediately covered in Naruto spit.

"…Usuratonkachi. We're going to be late," Sasuke replied, referring to the fact that their team was supposed to meet with Kakashi-sensei at a training ground in exactly ten minutes. Not that it mattered, since Kakashi-sensei would not show up until about five hours later.

As Sasuke walked by his talkative teammate's side, Sasuke couldn't help but wonder…

Did Hyuuga Hinata just…glare at me? And told me to move out of her way….without stuttering?

XXX

Little did Uzumaki Naruto know, a pair of white eyes was secretly following him.

Hyuuga Neji gasped as he hid himself behind a corner, before the blond object of his affections could see him. Neji played with fingers and sighed while pressing his back against the alley way wall.

Oh Naruto-kun, if only you would notice me…only if I had the courage to tell you how I truly feel…it's so difficult keeping these strong emotions inside of my fragile body. I think I might explode!

Neji sighed again. He felt his cheeks grow warmer at the thought of naughty things involving his fox-faced crush.

Neji placed his hands on his cheeks and squealed, "Ack, my nose is bleeding! I'm a bad boy, a bad, bad boy—! Urk—!"

Hyuuga Neji then passed out, right there, in the middle of a dark alley, fresh for the molesting.

XXX

"Hi-Hi…Hina…ta?"

The Hyuuga heiress placed her hands by her sides, reverting out of her trademark fighting stance. She turned her head around sharply, lips set in a straight line. She looked angry. A special type of Main House hating, fate-believing angry.

"What is it Inuzuka?"

Her voice was cold and condescending. Inuzuka Kiba winced as he looked from his normally shy and quiet teammate to Aburame Shino, who was currently lying unconscious on the ground. From sparring. WITH HINATA. Who kicked Shino's ass thoroughly.

"Uhm…nothing's…wrong…Hinata…I mean…are you feeling alright?"

Where's Kurenai-sensei when you need her, Kiba thought with fear. Another voice within his mind replied, "Probably making out with Asuma-sensei."

Hinata cracked her fists before reactivating her Byakuugan.

"I'm feeling great. Come one Inuzuka, you'll be my next opponent. Let's see if fate will allow you to defeat me on this day."

Akamaru buried himself inside of Kiba's heavy jacket, whimpering while Hinata smirked and moved forward.

XXX

Tenten casually twirled a kunai on her index finger, brown eyes scrutinizing the sparring occurring between Lee and Neji. Surprisingly, Lee had the upper hand which was a bit strange since usually both boys were usually evenly matched. Plus, Neji had been acting like his usual bastardly self. Neji was blushing and speaking in a polite, shy tone. Tenten figured that the world was slowly coming to an end.

Lee kicked Neji in the face, and the Hyuuga genius flew back, tumbling on the bare ground. Tenten narrowed her eyes; Neji could have so dodged that move.

"Ah! Neji, are you alright? Did I perhaps put a little too much youth into that kick?" Lee quickly rushed over to where Neji was slowly sitting up. The Hyuuga genius merely looked up at Lee and gave him a gentle smile. "I'll…I'll be alright Lee-kun…please…please don't concern yourself with…me…"

And then Lee blushed, because his normally bastardly teammate suddenly looked incredibly adorable, quivering his bottom lip and playing with his fingers like that and having his long., shiny hair all mussed up like that…

And then Tenten dropped her kunai. And Gai-sensei stared. And stared. And stared. And then squealed.

"A new chapter has opened in our YOUTHFUL team story—the chapter about Neji, our fair man-maiden!"

And Lee saluted Gai-sensei, "YOSH!"

XXX

Stupid boys…it's always about them arguing with each other like a married couple, I wouldn't be surprised with they were with each other…wait…are they?! It would explain why Sasuke-kun doesn't pay attention to girls! Inner Sakura ranted.

But as usual, Haruno Sakura kept those uncouth thoughts to herself. She dejectedly ate her ramen a la Ichiraku dinner as Naruto continued to call Sasuke variations of the words bastard and girly and emo-angst whore.

Sasuke retorted with variations of the words, hn, dobe, clumsy idiot, severely retarded loser, and—his favorite— "You don't understand how it feels to lose a family! You've been alone your entire life!"

Right. That still gives you no excuse to run away to a fifty year old snake that wants your body in more ways than one, Sasuke-kun. It just doesn't.

Naruto's ADHD made itself present once more as the blond looked away from Sasuke and wandered over to where he just spotted Team Gai.

"Oi! Bushy Brows! Tenten! Neji! I haven't seen you guys in forever! Hey…Neji…why is your face all red? And…why are you shaking so much? Are you sick? C'mere, lemme feel your forehead…"

"Naruto-kun…I…I…Ugh…ack!"

Neji's nose gushed blood all over Naruto and then the Hyuuga fainted.

Naruto screamed. "Oh my God, I killed Neji! I'll never become Hokage…I don't believe it!"

"Finally," Sasuke murmured. "Damn American dub."

"Ah! There you are!" shouted Hyuuga Hanabi, running toward Team 7 and Team Gai with a pissed-off looking Hinata behind her.

"Hanabi, let go of me at once before I—"

Hanabi ignored her sister and pushed her on top of the unconscious maiden Neji. The youngest Hyuuga began to perform a series of hand signs before shouting, "Release!" Neji and Hinata's body glowed and Hanabi sighed in relief as she walked away without an explanation.

Moments later, Neji and Hinata woke up. The two cousins scrambled quickly removed themselves from the awkward position they were in. Hinata apologized to Neji while playing with her fingers. Neji stood up, glared at everyone, and walked off.

"…And that totally wasn't weird," Naruto said sarcastically. Sasuke was surprised to find out that the Naruto knew what sarcasm was.

Lee pouted, "I guess that's the end of our cute, squishy Neji."

Sasuke crossed his arms."And the end to Sexy Badass Hinata."

"Wait…WHA—?!"

"SASUKE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE SASU-GAY?!"

XX End Ficlet XX