A/N: Sorry if you think my chapters are short but that's how i write, in short spurts. Anyways I'm kind of sick right now so if there are any mistakes blame it on me constantly having to sneeze and cough or my need for sleep. But here is Chapter 6, Enjoy!

Realize- Colbie Caillat

Chapter 6

Realize

The Nurse sent me back to class with an ice pack for my head. Great! Now I have to go my worst class with a killer headache. Well at least it's almost lunchtime. When I finally get to my science class, I open the door to find that everyone is gone. Wait! Did I miss something? Well everyone's stuff is here so I guess I'll just wait for them to get back, and maybe take a nap. I'm sure they just went to do an outdoor experiment or something.

I wake up to find that everyone is back, and staring at me. What, have they never seen someone sleep before? I turn to look at Chelsea and her eyes suddenly go wide.

"Spencer, you've got blood all over your face," she says calmly.

Blood! Please tell me she was kidding. I look down at my desk where my head was just laying. Ok! She wasn't kidding! I get up and start running to the bathroom. I'm at the very front of the room when I catch a pair of very familiar brown eyes staring back at me. As much as I don't want to, I jet out of the room and head to the bathroom.

I'm almost done cleaning myself up when I hear the door open.

"Spencer?"

My heart starts racing.

As Ashley steps around the corner she gives me a gentle smile.

"Are you ok?" She slowly steps towards me as if she is uncomfortable or nervous.

"Yeah, I'm good," I say wiping the last of the blood off my face.

"Ok. Well Mr. Falconer just sent me in here to check on you, so since you're okay… I'll just go" She slowly turns to leave.

"Don't."

Did I say that? Nope wasn't me. It must've been someone else because I have no idea what I'm going to say now. I don't know if I'm even ready for this conversation yet.

She turns and looks at me, waiting for me to say something. I wish I had thought that far ahead.

"How was New York?"

I am officially an idiot! It's not like she just went on vacation, she was gone for two years!

"Well it was a lot colder than here and there aren't any beaches anywhere. And… I didn't have my best friend there either."

"Yea…" Really?! Are you incapable of making full sentences?

We both stand in there in awkward silence for about a full five minutes until she takes a couple steps towards me.

"Please look at me Spencer."

Oh was I staring at the floor? Well it is kind of distracting because it's white and the tiles are square… and they're white! Ok so maybe I am avoiding eye contact, but it's only because her eyes have magical powers over me. I'm serious! She can get me to do almost anything with those eyes of hers. When I finally do look at her she is right in front of me. Wow! I know my face just flushed because I can feel the sudden heat.

"Now I know a lot has happened since I left but not a day has gone by that I don't think about you, miss you."

I really hope this isn't going where I think it is.

"Do you remember what I told you before I left?"

Yeah, this is definitely happening.

"Of course, how could I forget? You dropped the bomb and didn't stick around to see the explosion!" Let's just say that a wee bit bitter.

"I know Spence and I'm sorry. But you should know that my feelings haven't changed."

I so can't deal with this right now.

"Well I have a boyfriend who I'm meeting for lunch, so I'll see you around." And with that, I'm gone.

I can't believe her! Two years of nothing and now she's back and expects everything to go back to the way it was. But why is it that I just wanted to hold her the whole time she was talking. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

"Hey you."

I love having the same lunch period as Cory. I smile and blush at his cheesy grin.

"Hey yourself."

I walk to him and just throw my arms around him. He seems confused at first, but soon his big strong arms are around me. I feel so safe when he holds me and he really is one of my best friends. But that's it. Friend. Here in lies why I feel so guilty for staying with him. But is it wrong for me to want to be loved, cared for, and safe when I know I can't give him my heart in return? I already know the answer to that question but I just hold on to him tighter as I feel tears threatening to fall. When I finally pull away he looks at me with a questioning expression.

"What was that for?"

"What? I can't just hug my boyfriend?"

Sometimes I wish he couldn't read me so easily.

"Well…I just thought…" He just laughs and shakes his head. "Of course you can hug your boyfriend. You know what else you can do?" He beams at me as he leans down. Right before our lips touched I saw Ashley sitting at a table by herself. She was staring me straight in the eyes. So I turned my head and gave Cory my cheek to kiss. He looked a little taken aback but I stretched up and whispered in his ear, "We have a date tonight remember? We can talk about this then."

I step back and move into the lunch line while Cory laces our hands together. As we near the end of the line I look to make sure that our regular table is open. I see Chelsea is there so I pay for my food and start weaving through all the different people. When I'm almost at the table I turn around to make sure I haven't lost Cory but he's right behind me so I turn back to sit down and almost drop my tray. Ashley is sitting right in front of me talking to Chelsea. I sit down cautiously, trying not to give away the fact that I once again can't breathe. Chelsea turns to face me.

"Hey! How is your nose?"

"It's ok, just a nosebleed."

Cory turns towards me looking all concerned.

"When did you get a nosebleed?"

"Right before lunch. It wasn't that bad."

He just nods his head and starts to squirt out his ketchup.

"Oh yeah!" Chelsea chimes in, "Hey, uh this is Ashley. Ashley this is Cory and Spencer." Chelsea loves introducing people to new people.

Cory throws up his hand a bit as I just sit there. Chelsea throws me a look. Her eyes are asking me why I'm acting weird.

"We already know each other," I smile towards Ashley, thinking about how ironic this is.

"Yeah. We were best friends a couple years ago." Ashley stares me in the eyes as she speaks.

Well I'm not hungry anymore.

"Well I invited her to our movie night tonight," Chelsea says excitedly.

Cory looks at me with a blank face. Oops! I promised him a date. I hope he doesn't get mad if I postpone it.

"You did remember, right Spencer?" Crap! Our Movie Mondays are a new thing so that makes it ok that I forgot, right?

"Yea, of course we remembered, but can we pick out the movies right after school?"

Cory gives me a "what the hell" look and I just give him a "we'll talk about this later" look.

He continues eating as I scoot over and take one of his hands to play with. Chelsea just smiles while I trace my finger all over his hand until I just lace our fingers. Ashley on the other hand is forcing herself to look anywhere but at me. Chelsea glances over her shoulder at the clock.

"Ok girls, we gotta go. See you after school Cory."

"It was nice meeting you," Ashley says while standing up.

"We will talk later okay?" I ask.

"Ok."

I give him a peck on the lips and go to join a waiting Chelsea and Ashley. The walk back to class is silent and I say few words for the rest of school.

I'm in the parking lot leaning up against Cory's truck waiting for him when Ashley walks up to me.

"Spencer, when are we going to talk?"

Not now.

"I don't know Ashley, I…we'll talk tonight, ok?"

"Ok." She smiles and my heart is a puddle on the ground.

"Ok what?" Cory asks walking over with Chelsea.

Ok I can pick out a chick flick to watch tonight." Wow! I hope he bought that. It was the best thing I could come up with on the spot.

"Fine, but I'm picking a scary one," Cory says as a matter of factly.

"Oh, I got dibs on the action movie," Chelsea chimes in.

"So I guess I have comedy?" Ashley says.

"Sweet, so we will meet you at the movie store," Cory says getting into his truck as Chelsea gets into her car, followed by Ashley.

We all pick out our own movies without showing anyone else. We decide to go to my house and when we get there no one is home so we just put our movies on the table. So we have The Notebook, The Benchwarmers, Pulse, and Ocean's Thirteen.

First up is The Benchwarmers. We all pick our own seating arrangement as Chelsea claims the lazyboy with the footstool and (in order) on the couch it is Ashley, me, and Cory.

So about six hours later we have watched The Benchwarmers, Ocean's Thirteen, and Pulse. We are all taking a break right now. Cory and Chelsea are getting something to eat, Ashley is in the bathroom, and I'm in my room thinking when I hear a knock on my door.

"Come in."

Oh God, it's Ashley. I really don't want to talk right now.

She walks over and sits on my bed. "You said we would talk."

"Yeah…" I probably should have been thinking about what to say.

"Have you thought about what I said earlier?" she asks, moving closer to me.

"Yeah I have…"

"And…" she says trying to push me for a better answer.

"I don't know Ashley. I just…I don't know."

"It's simple. Do you still love me?" Oh if only it was that simple.

"I have a boyfriend and I don't think-"

"She cuts me off, "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me anymore."

I look her square in the eye and I can see the pleading in them. I can also see that she is scared. Scared of rejection and of being alone. Now I see the sadness in her eyes as she stands up and turns to the door.

"Dammit Ashley!" I say as I launch myself at her and my lips crash against hers. My hands go straight to her cheeks and hers find the small of my back. After a few minutes of frenzied kisses I pull back from lack of breath. We both smile at each other.

I hear a plate crash downstairs which brings me back to reality. The reality where my boyfriend and best friend are both downstairs. The reality where Spencer Carlin is the perfect daughter, with the perfect boyfriend, the perfect grades, and the perfect personality. The reality where it isn't an option to be with a girl, where there is no such thing as being gay. I am overwhelmed with emotion as I back out of Ashley's grasp and put my head in my hands. I start pacing back and forth.

"Spencer what's wrong?" Ashley asks.

"I-I have a boyfriend. I can't do this."

I run downstairs to see Cory and Chelsea cleaning up pieces of glass off the ground.

"Babe, it was an accident," Cory blurts out.

Chelsea laughs, "Yeah Mr. Cool was trying to roll the plate across his arms. You know, like how you do with a basketball?"

I give a small smile as I hear Ashley coming down the stairs.

"Hey Chelsea, do you think you could give me a ride home? My mom says she has to talk to me about something."

"Yeah sure thing Ash. Why don't we go ahead and leave."

"Ok," Ashley says sliding a note into my hand before leaving.

I slide the note into my pocket. Cory walks over and wraps his arms around my waist. "So it looks like it's just you and me." He gives me a sly smile before frowning. "Are you ok? You look a little pale."

"Yeah, I'm ok just a little tired."

"Ok, well I'm gonna go then so you can get your rest," he says sounding irritated. He roughly pecks me in the lips and grabs his coat off the back of the couch on his way out.

I walk up the stairs to my room. I take the note Ashley gave me and sit it on my desk as I change into my pajamas. After I've changed and my teeth are brushed I turn off the light and lay on my bed. My mind is racing when suddenly the answer I've been searching for comes to me, clear as day. And I can finally admit to myself that I am still in love with Ashley Davies.

But what about Cory?

:Coughs, sniffles:

What do you think? Should I just crawl into my bed and sleep away the flu and rewrite this later?

Reviews? Maybe?

:Sniffles, falls asleep: