A/N: Wow, long time, no update. Oh well. Not like anybody's really reading this anyways.

Okay, I decided to put a Superstar in here. I'm a big fan of the actual Princess Diaries books, and while reading the latest one, I had an idea...

November 1st, 2007 3:16 PM

I can't believe this. As if I thought my life couldn't get any worse, it did. I HATE MY LIFE!

This. Sucks.

Okay, I know I shouldn't be whining about something I haven't explained yet. Well, here it goes.

Emily has a boyfriend.

And no, not just any boyfriend. Her boyfriend isn't a Joe Schmo from down the block.

Nope.

Her boyfriend is the son of one of my dad's best friends. Her boyfriend is Paul's best friend. Her boyfriend, I just found out, has already started wrestling training from his father and his father's friends.

Her boyfriend is also one of the hottest guys at our high school (besides, Paul, of course, but he doesn't count). He has amazing legs that we like to check out during swim meets because he's on the team and he's not wearing pants.

Emily is dating Randy Orton.

How did that happen? When did my life become such a travesty that my best friend is dating a major hottie and I can't even land her brother?

WE'RE NOT EVEN THAT COOL AT SCHOOL!

All of the girls think I'm some super loser because I come from the family of wrestling. Guys think it's cool, but they just see me as their ticket to Wrestlemania or something. Screw that.

My life is officially over. I am now second in line to my best friend, and it's all because she can now run her hands along Randy's amazing thighs at her will.

What the heck is wrong with me?

November 1st, 2007 4:00 PM

I am not jealous of Emily and Randy's relationship. I swear. I am not jealous of their relationship that hasn't even really started yet.

I'm just upset with the fact that she has a BOYFRIEND and I can't even get a FRIEND that's a BOY.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I START WRESTLING TRAINING WITH PAUL TOMORROW!

Excuse me while I hyperventilate now.

November 1st, 2007 6:57 PM

"It was a spur of the moment kind of thing."

Yeah, sure it was, Emily. I know she's been crushing on Randy for freaking EVER (but who hasn't?). I don't blame her for jumping on that while she had the chance.

"I'm happy for you, Emily. I really am."

I actually am. I'm happy that she's happy. If I wasn't happy for her, then what kind of a friend am I?

But Emily doesn't read this journal.

I'm not backstabbing her or anything. I just wish that I could be as pretty as Emily.

I just wish I could be as NORMAL as Emily.

Great. Now my phone's ringing and I don't recognize the number. Excuse me while I fight off this telemarketer…

November 2nd, 12:01 AM

…

I so would have…

This should have been down hours earlier, but I've been freaking out for the past four hours.

WHY ME?!

Words are totally failing me right now. If I try to verbally speak, all that comes out of my mouth is just pointless babble that no one can comprehend. It's more like moans of anguish, to be honest.

THAT NUMBER WAS PAUL'S NUMBER!

"I jacked your number from Emily's phone. I hope you don't mind." Why would I? "It's just that talking on her pink phone makes me feel less manly."

Well I wouldn't want that, now would I?

"That's okay, Paul. I don't mind." He can call me any time he wants.

"I suppose you heard about Randy and Emily," he said.

"Yeah, I've heard of it. They're cute together."

"They are? Really? I don't really approve of it."

!!

"Really, Paul? Why not?"

"It's weird, isn't it? I mean, it's my sister and my best friend, Steph. That's just not right. When Randy should be over here to watch wrestling with me, he'll be sucking face with my little sister. That doesn't sit well with me."

So much for me being jealous. Looks like this is going to end before it even really takes off.

Paul always gets what he wants.

Too bad he doesn't want me.

"Ready for tomorrow?"

"Huh?" I said, forgetting all about wrestling training. "Oh, yeah, I guess."

"Alright, well it's getting late and I want to get up early to pump some iron before training. See you tomorrow, princess."

WHAT?!

I'm sure he meant that in the sense that my father is the KING of wrestling, but still.

I'll be Paul's princess if he wants.