Part Six – All I See
Craig Dean had only arrived home in the village twenty minutes ago and already his mother had begun worrying over him, saying that he needed feeding up, asking how his studies have been, what Dublin is like, all a big distraction to keep the big pink elephant that's in the room from making it's appearance.
Newt, Frankie's emo adopted kid has taken over Craig's room, but has agreed to share his room with the young Dean for the Christmas break. The room that had seen him his confused, in-denial mind being stripped apart layer by layer for months, the very room that Craig and John Paul had made love in, the room where Craig and his mother had argued after that disaster of his and Sarah's engagement party back in September.
The goth had followed into his former room and dropped himself on his bed, grabbing some magazine but not actually reading it.
"Just ask me," Craig said, watching the teen's face cascade with various motions. He finally sets his face in a snarky face and tosses the magazine to the floor, beside Craig's camp bed.
"Are yer gay?" he asked, his voice calm yet his eyes sparking with determination.
"I'm bisexual. I like both. Anything else?"
"Do you love that McQueen?"
"Yes, with all my heart," Craig truthfully answers. He grabs his rucksack and begins to unpack.
"He's the reason yer back, ain't he?"
"Yep. We've been texting for that last while. Says he still loves me."
Newt eyed the latest of his new family members to show up with a line of contemplation. He stood and headed for the door.
"I'll give ya some space, let ya settle back in."
"Cheers mate," Craig replied appreciatively, returning to the task at hand.
"Oh, and Craig?"
"Yer?"
"You're not half bad – might even liven up this place!" Newt said, smiling a brief smile.
"Neither are you, caviar!" Craig teased, tossing a pair socks at the younger teen, just as the door closed.
--
Home for just two hours, Craig was already back in the swing of things and was working behind the bar. He'd text John Paul, since the bar was quiet for the time being, if he wanted to come over and they can finally talk.
JP had texted him back saying that he'd be there in fifteen minutes and Craig had started to unnecessarily clean down the counter top. He'd been at his current spot, rubbing away with the rag for the past five minutes as it gave the best view of the door. Craig's eyes widened in apprehension every time it opened only to fall in a sad sigh when it isn't his ex-boyfriend.
"Who are you waiting for?" Darren asked, joining his step-brother behind the bar and eyeing the door.
"What?" Craig distractedly replied, taking a short step to the right so as to continue his cleaning work.
"I asked who yer were waiting for?" Darren smirked, leaning against the counter, watching the younger lad.
"No one," Craig hurriedly replied, tossing the rag on the counter and moving to serve Leo Valentine.
"Yeah, right!" Darren laughed, moving to the other side of the bar to collect empties.
"Craig!"Leo greeted, his speech slurred already for four in the afternoon, "When did you get home?"
"This lunchtime Leo, the usual is it?" Craig asked, laughing at the drunken antics of the elderly man.
"It is son, ta. So, how's Dublin?" Leo asked, slumping over the counter. He'd started the day early with a few cans in the house before moving to the Dog once the doors opened. Hours later and he was well on his way to being plastered.
"It's hard work, but worth it," Craig answered, his eyes once again drawn to the door. It opened and in walked his best mate, John Paul McQueen. Craig's body physically warmed at the mere sight of his soul mate that he missed what his punter had asked.
"Sorry mate, what was that?" Craig asked, handing over the pint and accepting the price.
"I asked yer, have ya met any nice Irish lasses?"
John Paul, now standing beside Leo, laughed at the question before smiling at Craig, waiting for his answer.
"No one at all mate, no one special, too busy studying! And too much Guinness!" Craig answered, laughing as the older man returned to his seat by the pool table.
The two boys just stared at each other, breathing in the sight of each other, before both started to speak at the same time.
"I'm glad you're back," John Paul said, reaching out to touch Craig's arm as Craig said "I've missed you."
They chuckled at their nervousness, but content to be near each other once more. Darren, having seen the two former friends meet once more, called out to Craig.
"Take a break mate, before you two scare of the customers!"
"Oh shove off Darren!" Craig replied, smiling at his step-brother in thanks for letting him free for a few moments.
"Wanna sit outside, away from prying eyes?" Craig requested, trying to ignore Darren's eyes as they followed the two of them away from the bar, as the two made their way to the door.
Once outside, the two sat themselves at a table and smiled shyly at each other for a few moments, before Craig grasped hold of John Paul's hand and rubbed his hand across the back of his hand. The two quickly began to speak from the heart all that they've wished to say to each other.
"I've missed you so much, John. Dublin is just so different without you."
"I'm so sorry I left you alone in that airport. I said I deserved more, but I was wrong, you were I have ever deserved, anything I've ever wanted."
"I love you so much JP. Even when I pulled in Dublin, I was always thinking of you," Craig said, kissing John Paul's hand.
John Paul, wondering if he should ask the question that formed on his tongue, smiles shyly at Craig, opened and closed his mouth numerous times.
Craig, anticipating this, laughed lightly and kissed John Paul's hand once more, said "Just ask me, John Paul."
Swallowing audibly, looked into Craig's deep brown eyes framed with those long eyelashes, spoke the question he'd wanted to ask.
"You're not scared to be affectionate in public, cause here you are holding my hand and kissing at me and telling me you love me… was it really just three months that yer needed before you could kiss me without fearing what others were thinking, eh?"
Stunned, Craig shook himself awake and smiled at his former lover, "I think the time helped, but also being alone. I think, being by myself has allowed me to realise who I am," Craig answered, watching as the leaves of one of the bushes outside the pub blew in the December wind. "I didn't think that would be the question you wanted to ask me!" He added, breathing a deep breath.
"Why's that? What did ya think I'd ask ya?"
"I thought… I thought you'd ask me if I pulled girls or boys."
Looking to side, to the bridge where they had talked about mother's coming to terms of their sons gay relationships back in September.
"That did pass through my mind, but I knew how sensitive you are about that topic."
Following John Paul's line of sight, Craig smiled to himself before reaching out and making JP face him.
"It's okay, yer know. If ya wanna ask me."
"Did ya pull girls or boys?" John Paul asked, surprising himself at his abruptness.
"Wow, that were a quick response!" Craig laughed. He noticed the serious look that was covering JP's face quickly ceased.
"Yeah, I did."
"You did what? Did ya get with boys or girls?"
"I said yes, as in both."
"Oh," was all John Paul said. His next question was already in his mind.
"So, you're bi then?"
"Yeah, I am. I got to Dublin alone and depressed, but one night I was out with mates from my course, I met this bloke – handsome as they come, and I realised that it wasn't just you I fancied."
"And you still fancy girls?"
"Yeah," Craig said. He didn't think that mentioning that he'd almost pulled his housemate his first night in Dublin. He had John Paul back, and wasn't going to let anything take him away again.
"But you're sure that you're bi? That you're not gonna get scared off again if some stranger shouts at you in disgust for kissing me in a public place?"
"I'm not. I wanna be with you, even if we face some people who are ignorant fools. I'll even tell my family now, right here, that we're back together if you want."
Looking towards the flat above the Dog, John Paul blinked his eyes, thinking they were playing tricks on him. Looking once more, he knew what he'd seen.
"I don't think you'll have to," John Paul breathed, pointing towards the window of Craig's room. Twisting in his seat, Craig glanced up at the window, remembering a time of a Romeo-and-Juliet-esqe exchange that occurred one August day between himself and his boyfriend.
"I think that you're mum is watching us."
--
Having retreated inside, following a sudden burst of rain, the two boys were sitting beside the first, a number of empty lager bottles in front of them as they caught up on everything that's happened between each other since the break-up.
Regaling John Paul with the story of how he and his mate Caitrin had gotten locked outside of a pub they were at when she had nipped out for a cigarette and dragged him along with her for company, Craig explained that he had started shouting for help and banging the door and when the bouncer finally opened it, wouldn't allow them back in.
"… and then the bouncer just tossed us our stuff, not believing we were blind drunk!"
"So what did the two of ya's do for the rest of yer night?"
Laughing at the memory, Craig grabbed his bottle and took a sip.
"She called up her boyfriend and we crashed his class party… and got hammered!"
John Paul laughed heartily, smiling at seeing Craig smile. His eyes crossed with a determined look and he asked Craig the same question he'd last asked him in September.
"Kiss me, Craig. Right here, right now."
Without hesitation, Craig leaned forward and kissed John Paul hard, tasting the seam of JP's lips, asking them to part open. With some tantalizing work, he got permission and his tongue dived in, tasting JP's mouth.
Leaning in closer to John Paul, Craig breathed deep the smell he hadn't realised he'd missed as well, an aroma that was part soap, shower get and pure John Paul, a smell that was driving his senses mad.
Hand gripping the back of John Paul's neck, Craig began playing with the hair he found there. John Paul groaned as the touch awoke his senses to the spark that passed between the two lovers.
Reluctantly pulling away from those sweet, soft lips, Craig finished his bottle and jumped to his feet, asking, "Ready for another?"
Downing the last of his bottle's contents, John Paul nodded his answer.
"Darren, two more bottles of your finished lager please!" Craig ordered, sitting at a bar stool. The pub had remained quiet all afternoon and Craig hadn't needed to return to work that day.
"Coming right up!" Darren saluted, jumping to work, grabbing two bottles from the fridge and popping the tops off. Placing the two bottles on the counter, Darren waved away Craig's offer to pay and looked over at John Paul.
"Everything going well between the two ye?"
"I think we're getting back on track, yeah," Craig grinned, smiling over at JP.
"Well, I thought it would be, seeing as you're kissing and groping in public and all!" Darren snarked, smiling at Craig as the Dean boy returned to his best mate.
Returning to John Paul's side, he kissed his cheek before sitting beside him, "You know I love you, don't you?" He asked, handing the other bottle over.
"Course I do. I love you too."
Holding hands as they returned to unimportant talk about music or films they'd seen, or to course work and exam results, when the door opened they didn't pay a blind bit of difference.
"Craig… What are you doing back here?!" Jake Dean asked, pushing the pram in to the pub, Nancy reluctantly following behind. He left the buggy and Charlie in Nancy's hands before rushing over to his brother.
Once at his brother's side, did Jake realise that his brother was holding hands and chatting with that McQueen.
"Craig, what are you doing?"
"I'm catching up with my BOYFRIEND, Jake. What does it look like?"
"I thought you were back to normal now, bagging all those hot Irish girls in Uni," Jake pleaded, throwing daggers at the younger teen.
"I see mum didn't tell ya any truth at all."
"And what is that truth?"
"That I like boys and girls, that John wasn't just an experiment, that I've been attracted to other blokes at Trinity, even slept with a few. That okay with you?"
"Does mum know about this?" Jake asked, still oozing venom at John Paul.
"She was staring down at us from my room, so I think so."
"What, you two were kissing? In PUBLIC?"
"We are a couple Jake! It's what couples do!"
"Normal couples, a girl and a guy. Not two fellas!"
"Jake," Jack warned, announcing his entrance.
"I'm just saying what the rest of ya are thinking!" He shouted, storming to Nancy.
"Let's get up stairs… don't want this getting to Charlie."
"Thanks Jack," Craig answered shyly, embarrassed that his brother is still the bigot he'd been when he'd left for Dublin.
"Don't worry about it son."